1  I '  ./ 


,  .  r,:  I 


THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 


A  STORY 


OF 


WESTERN    LIFE, 


BY 


J.  L.  CRANE. 


CHICAGO : 
JANSEN,  McCLURG  &  CO. 

1883. 


COPYRIGHT  1877,  BY  J.  L.  CRANE.    ALL  RIGHTS  RESERVED. 


TO  GENERAL  U.  S.  GRANT; 

Who  was  Colonel  of  the  21st  Illinois  Regiment  while  I 
was  its  Chaplain;  whom  I  highly  esteemed  before  he 
had  attained  to  distinction,  and  whom  I  now  regard  as 
among  the  greatest  and  most  upright  of  heroes  and 
statesmen, 

I  DEDICATE    THIS  VOLUME, 

As  a  token  of  my  appreciation  of  his  friendship. 

J.  L.  C 
Springfield,  Ills.,  April,  1877. 


2061834 


PREFACE. 


A  friend  by  my  side  says,  that  his  principal  ob- 
jection to  this  book  is,  that  some  of  the  incidents 
and  characters  are  overdrawn. 

The  "next  friend"  says,  many  of  them  are 
underdrawn.  So,  to  strike  an  average,  I  have  left 
it  as  originally  written. 

It  is  in  no  sense  an  autobiography.  Names  and 
places  are  mostly  fictitious ;  yet  the  majority  of  the 
incidents  are  as  I,  and  others  saw  and  heard  them. 
They  did  not  always  transpire  in  the  order  here 
given. 

I  had  a  love  for  the  hardy  yeomanry  of  the  ear- 
lier days ;  for  their  honest,  happy,  o'ff-hand  man- 
ners, modes  of  thought  and  speech.  I  was  at  home 
among  them  for  years,  enjoying  their  labor,  humor, 
privations,  pleasures  and  worship.  I  have  aimed  to 
make  the  characters  original,  fresh  and  alive  with 
the  buoyancy  and  vivacity  of  pioneer  life. 

If  you,  my  friendly  reader,  are  averse  to  a  con- 
sideration of  the  ludicrous  events  that  do,  now  and 
then  occur,  even  in  a  minister's  life,  I  would  advise 
you  not  to  read  very  far  in  these  pages.  I  have 
conscientiously  desired  that  this  book  should  help 
and  strengthen  morality  and  religion  ;  but  I  have 
never  been  of  the  opinion  that  the  humorous  side 
of  the  world  belonged  exclusively  to  the  kingdom 
of  Satan. 

J.  L.  C. 

SPRINGFIELD,  ILL,  April,  1877. 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  I. 

The  Start— Undeflnable  Day— Disturbing  Thought*— Brother  Holder- 
Green  Corn— Hogs,  and  their  111  Manners Pages  17-26 

CHAPTER  II. 

House  of  Clumsy  Patches— Shrubs,  Chickens  and  Dinner. . .  .Pages  26-29. 

CHAPTER    III. 
Arithmetic  and  Sentiment— Oppressive  Length,  ending  in  Death,  with 

a  Short  Letter  of  Regret Pages  30-33 

CHAPTER  IV. 

On  the  Circuit— The  Watkins  Family— Philip  Confused  on  the  Great 
Question  of  Family  Government Pages  34-42 

CHAPTER    V. 

The  First  Preaching  Place— Uproar  and  Confusion— Zeal  Cooled  by 
Ague Pages  43-5* 

CHAPTER    VI. 

Class  meeting— Philip  Makes  a  Blunder— Celebs  Receives  an  Interest- 
Ing  Visit  from  the  Get  Family Pages  56-66 

CHAPTER   VII. 

On  to  the  Next  Appointment— Mrs.  Magulty— Her  Two  Daughters,  and 
Her  Son  Zephaniah— Philip's  Filly  Disturbs  Young  Magulty— Mr. 
Squillip  Persuades  the  Young  Preacher  to  Preach  in  His  School 
House  that  Night Pages  67-73 

CHAPTER   VIII. 

On  to  Squillip's— Dilapidated  Horses  and  Harness— Adventures  of  a 
Lone  Candle— Dogs  and  Convulsions Pages  74-82 

CHAPTER  IX. 

Squillip  and  the  Misses  Magulty  Talk  by  the  Way—"  Glad  to  See 
You,"  when  it  is  so  Dark  You  Can  See  Nothing— Grease  and  the 
Saucer  Lamp Pages  85-94 


viii  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER  x. 

Up  the  Ladder  and  Down  Through  the  Floor— Stars  and  Storms— Much 
Water— Blues  and  Hopes Pages  95-102 

CHAPTEE    XI. 

The  Welcome  Fire— The  Breakfast  and  the  Manner  of  its  Production- 
Jerry  Spildick— Prayers Pages  103-111 

CHAPTER   XII. 

The  Return  to  Mrs.  Magulty's— A  Child's  Temper,  Angelic  and  Other- 
wise—Mrs. Squillip's  Heavy  Business .Pages  112-116 

CHAPTER  XIII. 

Rev.  Mr.  Blunt,  a  sort  of  Ecclesiastical  Rough— Philip  is  treated  to  var- 
ious Admonitions Paegs  117-125 

CHAPTER    XIV. 

Rev.  Mr.  Blunt  continued— He  brings  his  Meat  Ax  to  bear  on  Philip's 
Discourse— The  Runaways  Checked— No  Marrying  this  time— The 
FighttuidFun Pages  126  134 

CHAPTER    XV. 

Quarrel  among  Horses— Blunt  Subdued— His  Daughter  Sue  withstands 
him  to  the  face— Both  Yield— Like  womankind,  Sue  winds  up  by 
supposing  she  will  have  her  own  way— And  she  did. ..  .Pages  135-143 

CHAPTER    XVI. 

More  about  Sue— Flamer  slightly  disgusted  by  one  or  two  of  Blunt's  Re- 
marks— Mrs.  Ruth  Blunt  not  so  much  opposed  to  Bob  Scates  as  is 
her  husband— Fire,  Cats  and  Kittens— Philip  has  Doubts  about  his 
being  a  "  Moral  Agent." Pages  144-151 

CHAPTER    XVII. 

Philip  has  a  Short  Talk  with  Himself— Blunt  a  Believer  in  Great  Men- 
Philip  has  a  Violent  Cold— Doctor  Heatem,  the  Great  Reformer,  who 
has  Innumerable  Patents,  and  is  the  Inventor  of  the  Only  Success- 
ful "  Perpetual  Motion ," Pages  152-158 

CHAPTER    XVIII. 

Doctor  Heatem  continued— A  Glance  at  his  Patents  and  Reforms— Hip- 
pocrates, his  Student— Philip  submits  to  the  Reform  Treatment— 
The  First  Swallow  Humiliates  Him— The  Doctor's  great  Motto, 
"  Heat  is  Life,  and  C'old  is  Death." Pages  159-168 

CHAPTER    XIX. 

Not  a  Cold  Water  Party— A  Noble  Tea— Pitch  to  Fire— Philip  Deranges 
the  Animal  Heat— Heatem  and  Hip  Simmer  Philip— Philip  thinks 
of  Shadrach  and  Abednego— From  the  Torrid  Zone  to  Simms' 
Hole Pagesl69-174 


CONTENTS.  ix 

CHAPTER    XX. 

Philip  lu  Distress— He  thinks  the  End  of  All  Things  are  at  hand— When 
the  Bile  Is  Out,  Belief  comes— Libations  to  the  Reform  Treatment— 
Philip  so  Disgusted  that  he  regards  himself  a  Fool  among 
Fools Pages  175-182 


Philip  declines  the  "  Serlubrious  Tonics"— Blunt  Accompanies  him  to 
the  Next  Appointment— Mrs.  Grabdime— Blunt  and  Philip  Snubbed 
—Lively  Times  between  Blunt  and  the  Old  Woman — Pages  183-191 

CHAPTER    XXII. 

More  of  the  Grabdime  Family— Conflicting  Views— Preaching  in  a  De- 
serted House— Blunt  and  Philip  assume  the  Service  of  Sexton— 
Moreover,  the  Dogs  came  first  to  View  their  Work Pages  192-198 

CHAPTER    XXIII. 

Blunt  Occupies  the  Pulpit— Melody  Bungled— A  Discourse  on  Tabera- 
cles  ;  wherein  the  Present  Place  of  Worship  is  condemned — Grab- 
dime's  Prayer,  and  Flight Pages  199-200 

CHAPTER    XXIV. 

To  Dinner  Uninvited,  at  Grabdime's— Blunt's  Tactics— Selfishness  Soft- 
ened—The Animals  Tamed Pages  207-214 

CHAPTER    XXV. 

Effect  of  the  Smoothing  Process— Invited  to  Call  Again— Blunt's  Opin- 
ion of  Soft  Sadder— Some  People  need  a  Club— The  "Hard  Shells" 
and  their  Preacher Pages  215-125 

CHAPTER    XXVI. 

The  "  Hard  Shell "  Sermon— The  Feet  Washing— Back  to  Blunt's— One 
of  the  Little  Blunts  furnishes  Philip  with  a  Text— He  Meditates 
Thereon—"  Look  at  Me." Pages  226-231 

CHAPTER    XXVII. 

Philip  and  Sue— Mrs.  Blunt  Distressed— Blunt  "Stove  Dp"— Confusion, 
Blood  and  the  Doctor— Bob  Scates  and  Jo  Weldou Pages  232-240 

CHAPTER    XXVIII. 

Heatem  and  Hip  Again  to  the  Front— Blunt's  Symptoms  Call  for  "  Her- 
culean Efforts  "—Blunt  rather  an  Obstinate  Patient— Heatem  Magni- 
fies Himself —Hip  thinks  He  does  it  at  His  Expense— Hip  Designs 
that  Blunt  shall  "Howl."... Pages  241-248 

CHAPTER    XXIX. 

Blunt  Beset  by  Heatem  and  Hip— He  is  Hot  at  Both  Ends— "Heat  is 
Life"— Hippocrates  Comes  in  Unpleasant  Contact  with  the  Hot 
Stove— Blunt  has  been  made  to  "Howl"— He  would  Blast  the  Hcnt 


x  CONTENTS. 

—Blunt  and  Bob  have  a  Serious  Talk  about  Sue  and  Moral  Improve- 
ment   Pages  249-258 

CHAPTER    XXX. 

Good-bye  to  Blunt,  Bob  and  Sue  for  the  present— The  Misery  of  the 
Ride  varied  by  the  Misery  of  the  Walk— Philip  to  be  at  Rose  Chapel 
the  Next  Sunday— Overtaken  by  a  Pedlar— A  Rattling  Conversation 
—Much  Mud— The  Wire-edge— By  the  Pedlar's  Side.... Pages  259-268 

CHAPTER    XXXI. 

Philip  and  the  Pedlar  Journey  Together— A  Negative  Battery— Philip 
loses  one  of  the  "  Main  Springs  of  Luxury  "—The  Pedlar  receives  it 
— "  Chicken  Eaters  "—The  Pedlar  gives  a  Scrap  of  his  History— 
Avows  his  Opposition  to  the  Bible  and  Religion Pages  269-277 

CHAPTER    XXXII. 

Views  Vary— Is  Sod  Everything,  and  Everything  God?— The  Pedlar  led 
out— Philip  Pursues  Him— The  Parting— The  Pedlar's  Amazement— 
The  Bottle— Good-Bye—Good  Nature Pages  278-284 

CHAPTER    XXXIII. 

Philip  Searches  for  the  Right  Road— He  is  Informed— "  Let  Dogs  delight 
to  Bark  and  Bite"— Introduces  himself  to  Mr.  Scatterlip— The  Looks 
of  that  Gentlemen— His  Sluice  of  Words— He  Recommends  the 
"Show"  to  Philip— Philip  attends  the  "Elevatin1  Exhibition"  in 
the  Evening— Cicero  Puffex,  the  Showman Pages  285-293 

CHAPTER    XXXIV. 

Professor  Cicero  Puffex  Explains  his  Scenes— Philip  Declines  to  Open 
with  Prayer — "  The  Gardin  of  Eding  " — Adam  and  Eve  driven  out — 
The  Flood — Sodom  and  Lot — The  Tower  of  Babel — Moses  taken  from 
the  "  River  Ganges  "—A  Historical  Scene,  Romulus  and  Remus— 
Herculaneum  and  Pompeii— David  and  Goliah— Samson— Landing 
of  the  Pilgrims— Rather  a  Ridiculous  Display Pages  294-30? 

CHAPTER    XXXV. 

At  Rose  Chapel— Bob  Scates  in  the  Audience— Trying  to  Tame  Down— 
Boib  Worried  by  Roystering  Youths,  and  his  own  Thoughts— Inter- 
view in  the  Grove— Bob  Reveals  Himself  to  Philip— A  Talk  on  Sue 
and  Personal  Improvement— Philip  Begins  to  Let  the  Light  out  of 
Himself— Bob  thankful  ito  get  it Pages  308-319 

CHAPTER    XXXVI. 

Quarterly  Meeting  at  Doubletown— Jehu  Stormus,  Presiding  Elder- 
How  he  Preached— His  Excellencies  and  Defects— His  Great  Effort 
to  Appear  Properly  as  a  Presiding  Officer— Felix  U:  Deafner  Applied 
for  License  to  Preach— The  Objections  Thereto Pages  320-326 

CHAPTER    XXXVII. 

The  Church  Festival— The  Old  Warehouse— Philip  Meets  the  Pedlar 
and  Two  Ladies— An  Escort  to  One  of  Them— The  Beginning  of  Eu- 


CONTENTS.  xi 

tanglements— The  Fascinating  Kate— Sights  and  Scenes  at  the  Fair 
—Head  Full  of  Kate Pages  327-338 

CHAPTER    XXXVIII. 

Philip  Beset— Mixed  Dreams— Kate  Even  Worse  Off— Philip  Concludes 
the  Visit  of  the  Day  by  Calling  at  the  "  Inn  "—The  Brooks  Family— 
DeKalb,  the  German  Professor— Sackett,  the  Pedlar— Philip  Acting 
more  by  Impulse  then  Discretion— Mischief  Brewing..  .Pages  339-347 

CHAPTER    XXXIX. 

Philip  and  Kate  at  the  Sunday  School— The  Pedlar  and  the  Professor 
there  likewise— The  two  who  lacked  the  Fullness  of  Song— The 
Mood  of  the  Cynics— Philip  at  General  Hymore's  for  Dinner— The 
Lady  Hymore  has  one  of  Her  "Spells"— Philip  Blunders  into  Her 
Esteem— An  Uproarous  Sick  Room  — "  Sweeping  Through  the 
Gates"  Postponed • Pages  348-354 

CHAPTER    XL. 

Doubletown  "  Commons  "—Philip  Seeks  Solitude,  and  finds  Himself  in 
the  River— Rescues  Little  Maud  from  Drowning— A  Touch  of  Ro- 
mance—Kicked and  Gouged  for  his  Pains— The  Mother  and  Kate 
Bless  Philip— DeKalb  Met— Kate  and  her  Mother  Compare  Notes— 
DeKalb  Distressed— The  Raven  Over  the  Door— Sharp  Words- 
Philip  Promises Pages  355  365 

CHAPTER    XLI. 

Philip  Sick— Kate  Visits  Him— Why  Not?— The  Promise  Kept  in  the 
Letter,  but  Broken  in  the  Spirit— DeKalb  Rallies— He  has  Hopes 
yet— Kate  Cornered— The  Storm  Gathering— The  Storm  Flashing  - 

The  Storm  Flashing  and  Thundering— Tears  End  the  Chapter 

Pages  366-372 

CHAPTER    XLII. 

Philip  Convalescing— Eager  Eating— Thin  Diet— No  Relapse— Rough 
and  Tumble  Fight— Bob  on  his  Muscle— Heavy  Dragging— Blood  and 
Drink— Footsteps  in  the  Dark— The  Wheezing  Pump— Jo  Stoker- 
No  Tales  Out  of  School— Phillip  and  Stoker  Have  a  Few  Words— The 
Double-barreled  Pistol— Sowing  and  Reaping— To  Rest.Pages  373-383 

CHAPTER    XLIII. 

The  Sleepers  Disturbed— Mischief  in  the  Air— Danger  Somewhere— Jo 
Trying  to  Shake  the  Dogs  off—"  Serious?  You  Bet !  "—Philip  and 
Bob  Hurry  for  the  Constable— Hurry  on  to  Sighgold's— Jo  at  Sigh- 
gold's  Before  Them— A  Runaway— A  Knock-Down— A  Precious  Box 
—Bound  and  Gagged— The  Release— $7,000  in  the  Pocket-Book— The 
Box  Gone—Chris'  Account  of  the  Robbery— Betsy  Desires  it  Told 
Correctly Pages  384-30C 

CHAPTER    XLIV. 

The  Search  and  Its  Success— Joys  and  Sighs— $12,500  Gone— Stoker  Saves 
It— Sighgold  Feels  "  Sublime  "—Jo  too  Big  to  be  Hugged— Christo- 


xii  CONTENTS. 

pher  Checked— Kate  by  Philip's  Side  Again— Philip's  Mental  Tu- 
mult^-The  Promise  to  DeKalb  Slightly  Strained— Darkness  for  the 
Night,  Joy  in  the  Morning Pages397-403 

CHAPTER    XLV. 

The  Treasure  Removed— The  Old  People  go  with  It— The  Young  Ones 
Stay  Behind— Kate  and  Philip— Explanations— Love  and  Despair- 
Heart  Mischief— What  the  Coals  Told  Kate— Philip  Confounded— He 
Accuses  Himself — His  Words  Jumbled — Another  in  the  Way — Kate 

and  Philip  Agree  to  be  Friends— Harriet  Interrupts  Them 

Pages  404-414 

CHAPTER    XLVI. 

Harriet  Mistakes— Philip  and  Kate  Return  to  Doubletown— Kate's  Ill- 
ness—Delirium— Philip's  Self-Reproach— A  Sleepless  Night— Sue 
and  Bob— Bob  Developing— Conquering  the  Wrong Pages  415-420 

CHAPTER    XLVII. 

Kate's  Illness— DeKalb's  Tactics— He  Admonishes  Philip  not  to  Visit 
Her—  Mary  and  Jennie  Allerton  Visit  the  Hymore's— Kate  Better 
— Mary  and  Sue  Call  on  Kate— Mrs.  Thornton— Kate  to  Leave  for  In- 
dianapolis—To Inherit  Her  Aunt's  Wealth— The  Visit  to  Sue's  Old 
Home— The  Dread— The  Accident— Fearful  Results— Philip's  An- 
guish—The Doctor Pages  421-429 

CHAPTER    XLVIII. 

Consternation  at  the  Hymore  House— Battling  Forebodings— Terrible 
Shadows— The  Light  of  Philip's  Life  Going  Out— "So  Soon" 
—Philip's  Brain  in  a  Whirl— Hearts  and  Love— The  Last  Hemor- 
rhage— Good-Bye Pages  430-139 

CHAPTER    XLIX 

The  Effect— Moved  to  Rushingo— Sighgold  Purchases  Land— Bob,  his 
Traveling  Companion— Philip  Visited— 160  Acres—  Sighgold  Mur- 
dered—Search for  the  Assassin— Bob  Arrested— In  Prison— Sue  Go- 
*lng  if  They  Hang  Her  with  Him— Philip  Visits  the  Cell— Love,  Firm- 
ness and  Devotion— Uncomfortable  Business Pages  440-446 

CHAPTER    L. 

Court  Coming  On— Bob  to  be  Tried— Philip  Anxious— A  Letter  from 
Kate— Light— The  Swaggering  Jailor  looks  after  a  Dog  Fight,  while 
Philip  looks  after  the  Welfare  of  Bob— A  Two  Days'  Trip— By  the 
Side  of  Kate— No  Gas .Pages447-453 

CHAPTER    LI. 

A  Dark  Night— A  Difficult  Walk— Sail  and  the  Dying  Man— Billings' 
Statement— The  Murder  Explained— A  Little  Whiskey— A  Techni- 
cal Hitch— Law's  Delay— Philip  Doubts  His  Own  Sagacity— Egotism 
Cut— Kate  Brightens  Him..  Pages454-461 


CONTENTS.  xiii 

CHAPTER    LII. 

Court  In  Session— Bob's  Trial— The  Crowd  Against  Him— The  Jury  with 
'  the  Crowd— The  Whittling  Judge— Two  Jack-Knives  a  Year— The 
Thunderbolt— Coolness  in  Cruelty— Court  Adjourns,  Takes  a  Horn, 
then  Pitches  Horse  Shoes— Lawyers  Serene— At  it  Again  iu  the 
Morning— "Hang  Him,  Sure"— Wags  and  Wits— Soaked  Sots-- 
Power of  Eyes  and  Manners— Philip's  Testimony— Light— Facts-- 
Things Turn —Crowd  Turns  — Jury  Turns  — Court  Turns— Bob  is 
Turned  Free— The  "Court"  Shakes  Hands  with  Him  and  Sue— All 
Do  the  Same— Happy Pages  463-474 

CHAPTER    LIII. 

Bob  Coming  Up— Philip  Among  Kate's  Letters— Stolen  Waters 

Pages  475-478 

CHAPTER    LIV. 

Philip's  Second  Year  In  Rushingo— Memory  of  Mary— Past  and  Present 
—Clouds  and  Sunshine— Camp-Meeting  at  Doubletown— Philip  At- 
tends— DeKalb's  Lament — Philip  Desires  a  Release  from  the  Old 
Promise— DeKalb  Overlooks  It— The  Professor  Frantic— A  Bundle  of 
Frustrations— Grinding  and  Galling— Cursing  Fate— Fuming  and 
Vaporing— Brain  on  Fire— "No  Use"— A  Fiery  Little  Bore— Philip 
in  the  Pulpit— Kate  Before  Him— Her  Power— Hearts  Pour  into 
Each  Other Pages  479-487 

CHAPTER    LV. 

Blunt's  Tent— Hearts  Going— Was  It  Idolatry?— Quiet  Fires— Self-Sup- 
pressed—Good  for  the  Largest  Number— Enraptured  Idiots— News 
—Dead— Inquest— Heart  Disease— A  Drop  Letter— Shocking— A  Call 
for  Philip— A  Ready  Response— Knots  of  Neighbors— "  Dyspepsia '' 
—Philip  and  Kate  Meet  at  the  Inn— The  Ride Pages  488-493 

CHPTER    LVI. 

The  Drive— The  Drop  Letter— What  It  Said— Frantic  Fuming— De- 
Kalb's Accusations— Was  Kate  Guilty?— "Am  I  a  Wretch?"— "Was 
He  an  Idiot?  "—Philip's  Wrath  and  Love— Philip  Defends  Kate- 
Why  Should  the  Old  Promise  Now  be  Binding?— It  is  Not— Philip 
Seeks  Her ;  She  is  Willing  to  be  Found— Philip  Expresses  His 
Mind  Fully— How  Kate  Listened— How  They  Agreed— Destiny 
Sealed— Two  Couple  Married— Success  In  After  Life— Let  Them 
Prosper Pages  494-502 


ILLUSTRATIONS 


Designed  by  the  Author.    Engraved  by  FRANK  BEARD,  Esq.,  103  Ful- 
ton street,  New  York. 


1.  THE  START Faces  Title. 

2.  THE  ILL,  MANNERED  HOG "  22 

3.  BEFORE  HELP  CAME  THE  BORROWED  HORSE  WAS 

DEAD "  32 

4.  THE  HUBBUB  WITHOUT "  48 

5.  CONFUSION  WITHIN > "  51 

6.  REV.  ELIJAH  CELEBS "  58 

?.    A  NIGHT  OF  MISHAPS "  82 

8,  THE  PLANK  FLEW  UP  AND  PHILIP  FLEW  DOWN....  "  97 

9.  PHILIP'S  DREAM "  98 

10.  HE  SENT  HIM  SPRAWLING  AMONG  THE  WEEDS "  132 

11.  "  DON'T  You  FEEL  LIKE  LEADING  CLASS,  OLD  FLAM- 

ER?" "  133 

12.  SUE "  143 

13.  "  YOU'RE  NOT  SCAJLDING  HOGS,  SIR." "  172 

14.  "  You  NEEDN'T  SISTER  ME,  MUCH." "  189 

15.  THE  "  HARD  SHELL  "  PREACHER "  226 

16.  HIP'S  UNPLEASANTNESS "  251 

17.  "HERE'S  TO  YOUR  SNORTING  FILLY,  LONG  MAT  SHE 

CANTER." "  284 

18.  INTRODUCTION  TO  MR.  SCATTERLIP "  287 

19.  PROF.  CICERO  PUFFEX "  294 

20.  KATE  AT  SIXTEEN "  331 

21.  DEKALB'S  VISIT "  361 

22.  MARY  ALLERTON "  421 

2.3.    THK  WHITTLING  JUDGE— BOB  ON  TRIAL "  463 

24.  DYSPEPSIA  OR  HEART  DISEASE "  492 

25.  KATE  AT  TWENTY-TWO.                                                 ,.  "  500 


"  All  true  humor  is  closely  allied  to  seriousness." — Gcethe. 

"  No  man  who  has  heartily  and  wholly  laughed  can  be  al- 
together irreclaimably  depraved." — Carlyle. 

"  God  has  given  us  wit,  and  flavor,  and  brightness,  and 
laughter,  and  perfumes,  to  enliven  the  days  of  man's  pilgrim- 
age."— Sidney  Smith. 

"  Did  you  read  '  Vindex,'  John?  "  said  Mr.  Wesley,  referring 
to  a  humorous  passage  in  "The  Fool  of  Quality."  (John  was 
one  of  Wesley's  very  sober  preachers.) 

"  Yes,  sir." 

"  Did  you  laugh,  John  ?  " 

"  No,  sir." 

"Did  you  read  Damon  and  Pythias,  John?" 

"  Yes,  sir." 

"  Did  you  cry,  John  ?  " 

"  No,  sir."  

"  O,  earth, — earth, — earth ! "  exclaimed  Wesley,  in  astonish- 
ment. 

Preface  to  '•'•The  Fool  of  Quality." 


THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER  I. 

THE  START. 

It  was  an  undefinable  day,  in  the  middle  of  Oc- 
tober, 1 8 — ,  when  Philip  Force  started  to  his  first 
circuit.  As  I  desire  to  be  specific  and  correct  in 
this  narrative,  and  tell  of  things  as  nearly  as  possible 
as  they  were,  I  would  state  that  this  day  was  unde- 
finable, for  the  reason,  that  it  had  no  particular 
character.  My  great  respect  for  the  exact,  forbids 
me  to  say  that  it  was  wet,  or  that  it  was  dry ;  and 
it  was  neither  cold  or  hot,  summery  or  wintery; 
clear  or  cloudy,  but  it  was  a  dreamy,  hazy,  smoky 
combination  of  the  whole,  each  element  alternately 
predominating. 

The  thoughts  and  reflections  of  Philip  were  near- 
ly as  undefinable  as  the  day.  He  was  strongly  im- 
pressed that  it  was  his  duty  to  preach ;  in  fact,  here 
he  was  starting  in  that  great  work;  yet  he 
feared,  lest  impure  motives  might  have  been  mis- 
taken by  him  for  the  suggestions  of  the  better  Spir- 


1 8  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

it.  He  did  not  know  how  he  was  to  live  on  one 
hundred  dollars  a  year;  and  not  certain  of  that 
much.  He  did  not  know  how  he  was  to  pay  the 
one  hundred  and  fifty  dollar  debt  he  had  incurred 
for  board  and  clothing,  while  he  had  been  working 
his  own  way,  for  four  years,  through  school.  He 
could  not  imagine,  in  what  way  he  was  to  purchase 
a  horse  of  his  own,  for  be  it  known,  Philip  Force 
was  riding  a  borrowed  horse. 

Out,  alone,  on  horseback,  on  the  smooth  and 
dusty  road,  he  began  to  reflect :  "A  borrowed 
horse — clever  in  that  friend  to  loan  me  his  horse  for 
a  year :  elegant  animal :  never  worked  in  her  life : 
kicks  at  the  sight  of  a  collar  and  blind  bridle :  real 
game  :  racing  stock :  preachers  not  to  think  of  race 
horses.  Heigh,  ho ;  That  old  gentleman  did  not 
look  very  hopeful  when  I  gave  him  my  note  for  the 
hundred  and  fifty  dollars ;  I  am  one  hundred  and 
fifty  dollars  worse  than  nothing,  financially,  and  not 
worth  any  definite  settled  amount  any  other  way. 
He  was  kind.  I  owe  him  a  thousand  thanks  for 
many  other  favors ;  pure  benevolence  in  him  ;  told 
me  to  pay  the  note  when  he  was  poor  and  I  was 
rich.  If  he  had  not  looked  so  clever,  I  would  have 
taken  that  remark  for  sarcasm.  But  being  in  debt 
is  a  curse.  One  hundred  dollars  a  year !  That 
merchant  offered  me  four  hundred  and  board.  That 
rough,  old  Doctor  said  I  was  a  fool,  to  go  off  on  a 
circuit  for  a  hundred  dollars  a  year.  He  said  I  had 


THE  START.  19 

better  study  law  with  his  son,  and  make  a  man  of 
myself,  and  go  to  Congress  some  day.  Manhood 
and  preaching  do  not  seem  to  run  together  in  his 
ideas.  He  thinks  a  soul  is  of  value,  only  as  it  is 
the  owner  of  property.  I  am  determined  to  try  the 
preaching.  I  am  in  for  it.  Nothing  but  actual  de- 
feat will  drive  me  from  it.  I  will  trust  to  Provi- 
dence and  the  Church  for  support." 

Philip  had  traveled  about  fourteen  miles,  when 
he  saw  the  farmers  unhitching  their  horses  for  din- 
ner. He  had  never  known  the  luxury  of  carrying 
a  watch,  hence  this  observation  of  his,  in  reference 
to  the  farmers,  was  one  of  the  methods  he  had  of 
determining  the  arrival  of  twelve  o'clock. 

He  came  to  a  house,  on  the  left  hand  side  of  the 
road,  that  looked  as  if  it  might  be  one  of  public 
entertainment,  when  there  was  any  public  to  be  en- 
tertained ;  and  as  young  Mr.  Force  felt,  that  he 
was  beginning  to  assume  to  be  somewhat  of  a  pub- 
lic character,  he  concluded  to  stop.  The  owner  of 
the  house  and  farm,  and  caterer  to  the  public,  were 
all  combined  in  one  old  gentlemen,  who  hastened 
from  his  seat  on  the  front  porch  to  meet  Philip  as 
he  alighted  at  the  gate. 

"  How  d'e  do,  brother  Force?" 

' '  Very  well,  I  thank  you,  sir ;  how  are  you  broth- 
er Holder?  1  did  not  know  that  you  lived  here." 

The  old  man  shook  him  heartily  by  the  hand  as 
he  replied,  "Veil,  ye  vill  know,  ven  ye'v  bin  a 


2O  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

breacher  a  few  years  in  dis  coundry.  The  breachers 
all  stops  to  my  house ;  I  never  charges  'em  nawth- 
in,  and  give  'em  the  best  I've  got,  and  only  'spects 
the  young  ones  to  vait  on  tharselves,  and  'tend 
thar  own  hosses.  Come  across  to  my  stable.  That's 
a  fine  mar:  she'd  orto  be  on  a  farm.  Vat  d'ye 
give  for'rer?" 

"Alas,  master,  she's  borrowed. " 

' '  Borrad,  eh  ?  Veil  I  tought  she  vas'nt  the  same 
mar  you  rode  over  to  our  quarterly  meeting.  That's 
the  fust  sarmint  ye  ever  breached,  over  at  our  meet- 
ing, vas'nt  it?" 

"Yes,  sir." 

' '  Veil,  I  tought  ye  vas  a  lectle  skeert  like.  Ye 
must  put  in  more  power,  brother;  don't  be  so  keer- 
ful  'bout  heads  and  dails.  Them  that's  so  keerful 
'bout  heads  and  dails  nearly  allers  look  sort  o'skeert, 
'cause  they'r  allers  afeerd  uv  gittin  'em  mixed. " 

"Thank  you,  Brother  Holder,  which  of  these 
stalls  shall  I  use  ?" 

"  That'n  jus  nex  the  crib ;  an  the  corn  in  the  crib's 
your'n  vile  ye  stay.  I  haint  any  ole  corn,  but  that's 
mighty  dry,  and  wont  hurt  ye'r  mar,  unless  she's 
uste  to  bein  colicky." 

"I'll  give  her  only  five  ears,  sir,  for  fear;  and 
also  give  her  a  handfull  of  salt." 

"Veil,  veil;  now  you  come  across  to  the  house 
for  dinner,  and  I'll  send  Hans  over  with  a  tin  full 


THE  START.  21 

o'salt,  if  ye  think  she's  uste  to  bein  colicky.   Hang 
yer  saddle  on  a  hook  dare." 

Between  the  house  and  barn  was  the  hog  depart- 
ment. Hogs  in  Illinois,  like  men  in  some  parts  of 
the  world,  are  respectable  in  proportion  to  what 
they  are  worth.  And  many  men  enjoy  the  familiar 
presence  of  their  own  hogs,  when  every  healthy 
grunt  is  an  indication  that  they  are  increasing  the 
wealth  of  their  owners.  Mr.  Holder  must  stop  to 
show  Mr.  Force  his  hogs  ;  and  he  seemed  to  be  flat- 
tering himself,  as  he  discoursed  upon  their  foreign 
and  honorable  birth  and  of  the  dignity  and  purity 
of  their  ancestry ;  and  upon  the  labor  and  pains  he 
had  taken  to  introduce  so  highly  respectable  family 
of  hogs  into  the  neighborhood.  There  were  sundry 
old  logs  and  posts,  and  corners  of  fences,  harrows, 
plows  and  old  sleds,  which  were  smeared  with  mud 
and  made  smooth  by  the  luxurious  exercise  of  these 
hogs,  in  scratching.  And  then,  there  were  their 
bathing  pools,  dug  out  by  the  labor  of  their  own 
noses,  without  regard  to  the  family's  convenience, 
nor  the  taste  of  the  public,  nor  the  rules  of  geome- 
try. One  of  these  respectable  puddles  was  right 
by  the  front  gate  as  you  went  into  the  house.  And 
in  this  little  lake  of  mud,  one  of  the  female  mem- 
bers of  this  honorable  family  of  hogs  was  taking 
her  noon  bath.  And  expecting,  doubtless,  some 
favor  at  the  hand  of  her  master  as  he  approached, 
rose  from  her  ablutions  to  meet  him.  Mr.  Holder 


22  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

stopped,  to  expatiate  upon  the  noble  qualities  of 
the  animal,  and  gave  Mr.  Force  to  understand,  that 
she  was  none  of  your  lean,  bristly,  lanky-legged, 
long-snouted,  grey-hound  hogs,  that  could  not  get 
fat  enough  to  curl  their  tails,  but  that  she  was  a 
whole  hog,  and  enough  to  tempt  the  eye  of  a  Jew. 
Now,  this  hog  was  like  some  other  creatures  I  have 
heard  of,  that  did  not  know  exactly  how  to  behave 
themselves  under  the  voice  of  flattery.  For  no 
sooner  had  Mr.  Holder  closed  his  eulogy  upon  her, 
and  he  and  Mr.  Force  stood  admiring  her  well  de- 
veloped proportions,  than  she  grew  exceedingly  fid- 
gety, and  drawing  nearer  her  admirers,  suddenly 
and  violently  shook  about  six  quarts  of  mud  from 
her  sides,  the  large  majority  of  the  slush  taking 
effect  upon  the  person  of  Mr.  Force.  Mr.  Holder 
laughed  immoderately  at  the  performance,  while  Mr. 
Force  was  rather  sober  over  it,  and  it  was  not  that 
kind  of  sobriety  that  arises  from  pious  reflections. 
Philip  had  intended  to  reach  the  principal  town  on 
his  circuit  that  evening,  and  knowing  that  first  im- 
pressions were  powerful,  and  permanent,  was  anx- 
ious that  his  introduction  should  be  under  as  favor- 
able circumstances  as  possible.  Now,  what  would 
the  people  think  of  their  young  preacher  making 
his  debut,  looking  as  though  he  had  been  rolled  in 
the  gutter!  His  trunk,  containing  his  change  of 
raiment,  had  been  sent  on  by  wagon.  But  he 
hopefully  remembered  a  motto  of  his  old  teacher; 


THE  ILL-XANXERED  HOG. 


THE  START.  25 

\ 

"Never  grieve  over  what  is  done,  and  cannoc  be 
undone;"  so  he  hurried  through  the  gate  to  the 
porch,  desiring  to  hear  no  further  laudations  over 
the  noble  qualities  of  swine;  Holder  observing, 
with  a  jolly  good  humor,  "never  mind,  Brother 
Force,  it'll  come  off  ven  it  gits  dry ;  take  a  seat  on 
the  porch." 


26  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER    II. 
HOLDER'S  HOUSE. 

Mr.  Holder's  house  looked  as  if  the  chimney  had 
been  built  first,  and  the  rooms  had  been  added 
thereto  as  means  were  obtained  and  necessity 
demanded.  The  little  windows  looked  like  clumsy 
patches  ;  and  when  you  sat  upon  a  chair  in  the 
house,  all  you*  could  see  through  these  front  win- 
dows was  the  roof  of  the  porch  ;  which  roof  was 
decorated  with  old  harness,  horse-shoes,  corn- 
knives,  coon  skins,  bunches  of  flax,  and  twists  of 
yarn,  sickles  and  whet-stones,  etc.  The  door  look- 
ed like  another  excresence,  which  had  come  upon 
the  building  since  its  erection.  The  front  part  of 
the  house  which  formed  the  back  part  of  the  porch 
was  sided  with  linn  plank,  called  by  Webster  bass- 
ivood  or  linden;  but  Mr.  Holder  called  it  linn 
plank.  These  upright  plank  had  been  partially 
smoothed  by  a  jack-plane,  and,  on  some  distant 
day  in  the  past,  had  been  painted  or  stained  red  ; 
but  Mrs.  Holder,  thinking  white  more  cheerful  and 
attractive,  had,  some  years  afterward,  whitewashed 
it  over  with  lime ;  but  the  lime  had  peeled  off  in 
places,  and  the  red  peeped  through  like  boys'  knees 
through  the  holes  of  their  trowsers.  One  or  two 


HOLDER'S  HOUSE.  27 

of  the  window  frames  had  anciently  received  a  few 
feeble  touches  of  blue  paint,  which  looked  as  if 
mischievous  children  had  made  a  target  of  them 
for  the  shots  of  a  wet  indigo  bag,  and  had  then 
tried  to  rub  off  their  marks,  but  only  succeeded  in 
smearing  the  blue  in  lighter  shades  from  one  spot 
to  another.  The  front  door  looked  as  if  some 
painter's  awkward  apprentice  had  taken  his  first  les- 
sons thereon,  for  it  was  ring-streaked,  striped, 
checkered  and  intermingled  with  red,  green  and 
yellow  smudges.  Advertisements  of  stray  stock 
and  famous  horses,  constable  sales  and  patent  med- 
icines adorned  the  walls  of  this  porch  between  the 
doors  and  windows.  The  front  pillars  of  it  were 
made  of  walnut  rails,  dressed  with  a  drawing  knife, 
and  the  roof  thereof  rested  against  the  side  of  the 
house,  or  leaned  upon  it,  like  a  poor  relation  upon 
his  kin. 

A  few  stubbed,  broken-twigged  evergreens  were 
attempting  to  grow  in  the  yard,  and  looked  as  though 
they  had  been  trying  for  years  and  were  nearly 
ready  to  give  up  the  sickly  struggle  in  despair  ;  for 
the  principal  encouragement  they  had  was  the  un- 
kindly manure  of  broken  crockery,  wood  ashes,  old 
shoes,  bones  and  brickbats.  All  about  this  front 
yard  were  nursery  chicken-coops.  Some  of  them 
were  all  roof,  the  rafters  being  made  of  strips  of 
plank  and  left  without  shingles,  and  wide  enough 
apart  to  let  the  infant  chickens  out  and  keep  the  old 


28  THE  Two   CIRCUITS. 

hens  in.  Some  were  made  of  slats  laid  one  upon 
the  other,  log  cabin  style ;  others,  of  boxes ;  and 
still  others,  of  old  barrels  without  heads,  and  strips 
tacked  over  the  place  where  the  heads  ought  to  be. 
Hosts  of  chickens,  from  three  days  old  and  upward 
to  the  gangling,  pin-feathered  gawks,  trot  and  twit- 
ter, scratch  and  pick  around,  and,  like  children, 
fight  over  a  dainty  morsel.  The  old  hens,  cooped 
within  prison  bounds,  keep  up  an  everlasting  growl- 
ing and  coaxing  cajolery  after  their  respective 
broods.  A  hen  in  a  coop,  with  her  young  outside, 
always  looks  sullen,  sad  and  discontented.  She 
wants  to  gad,  and,  like  all  gadders,  restraint  makes 
her  fretful.  Philip  looked  at  the  chickens,  then  at 
his  clothes ;  and,  in  an  absent  minded  way,  attended 
to  the  remarks  of  Mr.  Holder,  and  answered  him  in 
monosyllables,  and  inwardly  wished  that  that  ill- 
mannered  sow  would  be  taken  with  an  irresistable 
run  down  some  steep  place,  with  the  same  being 
after  her  that  entered  the  Gadarean  swine.  Mr. 
Holder  stepped  into  the  house,  at  the  call  of  his 
wife,  and  left  Philip  to  fall  into  one  of  those  vague, 
indefinable  brown  studies  that  inhabit  silence. 

All  at  once,  from  out  of  a  cuddy  over  his  head 
on  the  porch,  flew  a  proud,  enterprising  pullet, 
with  a  deafening  racket,  as  if  she  were  doing  her 
best  to  curse  Philip  for  trying  to  tear  her  to  pieces. 
Every  chicken,  as  far  as  could  be  heard  from, 
joined  in  the  yell.  Roosters,  old  and  young,  strut- 


HOLDER'S  HOUSE.  29 

ted,  swaggered  and  roared  with  defiant  clamor. 
Philip  professes  to  be  fond  of  eggs,  but  he  declares 
he  never  could  see  any  sense  in  such  an  outrageous 
hue  and  cry  over  the  exploit  of  laying  a  single  egg. 
He  thinks  that  such  unbounded  enthusiasm  over  so 
small  an  achievement,  when  eggs  are  four  cents  a 
dozen,  is  very  much  like  a  Pharisee  sounding  a 
trumpet  before  him  when  he  is  giving  a  quarter  to 
carry  the  gospel  to  all  the  world. 

"Come  into  dinner,  Brother  Force.  This  is 
my  wife,  Brother  Force." 

Mrs.  Holder  extended  her  right  hand  to  Philip, 
and  held  her  sun-bonnet  close  over  her  face  with 
her  left,  and  gave  him  a  broad,  good-natured  smile, 
and  simply  said  : 

"How'de." 

"Now  set  by,  Brother  Force ;  you  kin  eat  once 
vat  ve  eat  allers ;  haven't  nothin'  fine.  Ask  a 
blessin'." 

And  the  old  man  held  his  head  down,  and  the 
old  lady  looked  at  her  cooking  as  it  lay  completed 
over  the  table.  The  meal  was  excellent. 


3O  THE  Two   CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER  III. 

ARITHMETIC  AND   SENTIMENT. 

After  dinner,  Philip  started  on  his  way,  refreshed, 
and  very  soon  fell  into  another  train  of  mingled 
reflections,  a  kind  of  topsy-turvey,  jumbled  con- 
fusion of  day  dreams.  He  drew  "Fletcher's 
Appeal "  from  his  pocket  and  made  an  effort  to 
read.  But  the  depravity  in  the  book  had  to  give 
place  to  the  depravity  in  the  facts  that  stared  him 
in  the  face.  The  hundred  dollars ;  forebodings  as  to 
his  reception  on  the  circuit ;  hogs  ;  mud  ;  obtruded 
upon  every  sentence.  He  put  up  the  book,  and 
from  another  pocket  pulled  out  a  miniature  that 
appealed  more  to  his  sensibilities  than  the  pocket 
edition  of  Fletcher.  And  he  thought : 

"What  business  have  I  with  a  young  lady's 
likeness  ?  One  hundred  dollars  wouldn't  buy  silk 
and  calico.  The  prospect  of  poverty  and  thoughts 
of  love  dwell  in  the  bosoms  of  fools.  But,  then, 
the  discipline  of  the  church  allows  a  preacher  a 
premium  of  one  hundred  dollars  for  getting  mar- 
ried. I  will  look  at  the  miniature  again.  The 
eyes  seem  to  say,  '  I  am  willing  to  run  all  risks. ' 
Ah  !  what  does  she  know  of  the  risks  ?  and,  for  that 
matter,  what  do  I  know?  Her  father  seemed  to 


ARITHMETIC  AND  SENTIMENT.  31 

understand  the  hazards  more  fully  when  he  object- 
ed to  the  match.  But  he  is  a  matter  of  fact  kind 
of  man,  and  has  forgotten  the  days  of  his  youth. 
But  making  a  living  and  securing  comfort  are  mat- 
ters of  fact.  But,  again,  who,  in  all  the  world, 
would  ever  get  married  if  all  the  preliminaries  of 
thoughts,  plans  and  attachments  had  to  be  regula- 
ted by  arithmetic  !  There  is  a  sort  of  luxury  in 
knowing  that  there  is  one  fair,  intelligent  creature 
who  thinks  constantly  for  my  welfare,  and  meditates 
and  prays  for  my  prosperity  with  an  individual 
specialty,  and  who  mingles  her  designs  of  life  with 
my  destiny.  But  I  must  banish  such  reflections. 
It  is  to  be  rough  battle  now ;  no  time  for  the  deli- 
cate and  tender." 

So  the  miniature  is  laid  aside,  and  he  tries  again 
to  think  of  theology  and  sermon  making. 

He  was  now  within  twelve  miles  of  Doubletown. 
the  principal  town  of  his  circuit,  and  where  he  was 
expected  to  preach  the  next  day.  His  legs  grew 
heavy,  very  heavy,  as  if  twenty  extra  pounds  were 
hanging  to  each  foot ;  and  every  jerk  of  the  horse 
seemed  to  stretch  them  longer,  and  make  them  a 
few  ounces  heavier.  Not  being  accustomed  to 
horseback  exercise,  the  saddle  grew  very  hard,  and 
the  dry,  ashy  road  looked  very  long — long  as  the 
lane  that  hath  no  turning  ;  and  the  dry  ditches  on 
each  side  looked  long ;  the  fences  were  long ;  inter- 
minable, long,  brown  prairies  stretched  out  beyond 

3 


32  THE  Two   CIRCUITS. 

the  point  of  vision  ;  the  fields  were  long ;  one  long, 
thin,  hazy  cloud  spread  away  over  the  sky,  good- 
ness knows  how  long ;  a  long  row  of  oxen,  with 
long  horns  and  tails,  pulled  a  long  plow  through  a 
very  long  furrow,  and  the  driver  was  a  long  boy, 
with  a  long  face  and  a  long  whip  ;  and  his  oaths 
were  long,  and  so  were  his  feet ;  and  he  seemed  to 
have  had  a  long  spell  of  the  ague  till  he  looked  like 
lengthened,  yellow  ugliness,  long  drawn  out.  If 
any  one  was  met  on  the  way  they  left  a  long  cloud 
of  dust  behind  them.  Philip  Force  felt  as  if  he  was 
a  long  way  from  home,  and  had  a  long  way  to  go. 
His  shadow  began  to  grow  long,  and  so  did  all 
other  shadows.  He  began  to  be  oppressed  with 
length,  and  longed  for  something  short :  a  gopher 
hill,  a  clump  of  bushes,  a  short  clap  of  thunder — 
anything  to  break  the  dreary  monotony  of  length. 

Well,  the  long  lane  did  have  a  turn ;  but  it  did 
not  turn  out  as  Philip  expected  or  desired.  For, 
when  within  three  miles  of  Doubletown,  his  horse 
refused  to  go  any  longer.  He  instinctively  thought 
of  the  five  long  ears  of  new  corn ;  dismounted, 
yelled  for  help — and  before  help  came,  the  bor- 
rowed horse  was  dead. 

If  a  coroner's  inquest  had  been  held  over  the 
lifeless  remains  of  this  splendid  animal,  the  jury 
might  have  truthfully  brought  in  a  verdict,  running 
on  this  wise:  "Died  of  colic,  occasioned  by  eat- 
ing five  long  ears  of  Mr.  Holder's  green  corn." 


ARITHMETIC  AND   SENTIMENT.  33 

Philip  was  now  afoot,  and  a  dead  horse  by  his 
side,  and  slightly  depressed  ;  and  it  was  Saturday 
night ;  and  thick  darkness  added  to  his  gloom ;  and 
no  time  for  a  funeral.  He  concluded  to  come  out 
on  Monday  and  have  her  decently  buried ;  for  the 
man,  before  whose  door  she  had  died,  gave  him  to 
understand  that  he  would  prosecute  him  if  he 
allowed  her  offensive  carcass  to  mingle  with  the 
dust  of  the  earth  so  near  to  his  dwelling ;  so  he 
threw  his  saddle  and  saddle-bags  over  his  shoul- 
ders, and  with  subdued  dignity  and  forced  humility 
walked  into  Doubletown.  On  Monday  morning  ho 
wrote  to  the  owner  of  the  horse,  as  follows  : 

DOUBLETOWN,  ILL.,  Oct.  15,  18 — . 
Dear  Brother  : 

After  expressing  to  you  my  grateful  acknowledgments  for 
the  loan  of  your  elegant  mare,  I  regret  to  inform  you  that  I  am 
going  now  to  attend  her  funeral.  She  died  suddenly  of  colic, 
and  has  doubtless  gone  to  the  horse  heaven,  for  she  died  in  a 
good  cause.  Please  inform  me  of  her  value,  and  if  ever  I 
should  be  fortunate  enough  to  have  the  money,  I  will  pay  you. 
Very  truly,  your  friend, 

PHILIP  FORCE. 
To  Col.  J.  ALLERTON,  Wildeden,  Illinois. 


34  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER  IV. 

FAMILY    GOVERNMENT. 

Philip's  first  Sabbath  was  spent  at  Doubletown, 
the  headquarters  of  his  circuit.  In  this  place  was 
the  circuit  parsonage,  occupied,  this  year,  by 
Rev.  Elijah  Celebs,  the  preacher  in  charge,  under 
whose  direction  Philip  was  more  or  less  expected 
to  be  subject. 

He  stopped  at  the  house  of  General  Hymore, 
and  was  booked  for  two  sermons,  the  day  after  his 
arrival.  But  a  stranger,  of  some  eminence  in  the 
ministry,  and  a  valued  friend  of  the  Hymore  family, 
and  being  their  guest,  was  pressed  to  occupy  the 
pulpit;  so  that  Philip  had,  comparatively,  a  Sab- 
bath day's  rest. 

Early  the  next  morning,  with  the  assistance  of 
Mr.  Brooks,  who  accompanied  him  from  the  town, 
he  attended  the  funeral  of  his  horse,  and  saw  her 
decently  interred.  There  was  a  law,  or  custom, 
which  did  not  allow  dead  animals  to  be  left  to  decay 
and  pollute  the  atmosphere  of  the  public  highways. 

On  his  return,  about  noon,  he  found  Mr.  Celebs 
waiting  at  General  Hymore's  to  meet  him.  There 
were  the  usual  expressions  of  gladness,  over  their 
destinies  being  thus  cast  together,  and  the  telling 


FAMILY  Guv  ERIN  MENT.  35 

over  their  anticipations  of  the  pleasure  and  success, 
they  mutually  expected,  in  cultivating  the  same  ec- 
clesiastical vineyard.  Celebs  had  been  lately  mar- 
ried, and  desired  to  provide  and  arrange  for  his 
first  effort  in  housekeeping. 

"If  it  is  not  taxing  you  too  soon,  and  too  heav- 
ily, Brother  Force,  it  will  greatly  accomodate  me, 
if  you  will  fill  my  appointments  in  the  country  for 
the  coming  week,  and  thus  allow  me  to  look  after 
the  affairs  of  my  new  home." 

' '  I  shall  be  delighted,  Brother  Celebs,  to  attend 
upon  your  pleasure.  If  you  think  it  will  not  be 
too  great  a  disappointment  to  the  people  who  are 
expecting  you,  I  am  at  your  service,  and  would 
rather  enter  at  once  upon  my  work  than  not." 

"I  will  be  responsible  for  all  disappointments, 
in  the  direction  you  mention  ;  and  shall  feel  myself 
under  obligations  to  you  for  the  favor,  Brother 
Force." 

Celebs  had,  on  that  morning,  secured  for  Philip's 
use  a  very  uproarous  and  mettlesome  two-year-old 
filly.  The  owner  of  the  restless,  half-broken  ani- 
mal was  glad  to  have  her  tamed  and  trained  to  ser- 
vice ;  and  was  further  desirous  that  she  might  pass 
over  the  winter  without  expense  or  care  to  him. 
The  nag  was  ready  for  his  immediate  disposal,  and 
receiving  all  necessary  directions  from  Celebs,  Philip 
went  three  miles  into  the  country,  that  evening,  and 
spent  the  night  with  farmer  Watkins.  Watkins' 


36  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

family  consisted  of  himself,  wife,  four  boys  and  one 
sister-in-law.  The  house  was  a  one  story,  unpaint- 
ed,  weather-boarded  concern,  resting  on  oak  posts, 
for  a  foundation.  The  front  room  was  parlor  and 
company  bed-room.  The  middle  room  was  the 
family  room  for  sleeping  and  every  day  occupancy. 
The  back  room  was  the  winter  kitchen  and  dining 
room  with  a  bed  in  one  corner.  Underneath  each  of 
the  beds,  in  these  two  last  mentioned  rooms,  there 
were  trundle-beds  for  the  rising  race  of  Watkins'es. 
After  breakfast,  which  was  before  sunrise,  prepara- 
tions were  made  for  the  whole  family  (excepting  the 
two  older  boys  who  went  to  school),  to  attend  the 
preaching  three  miles  away  at  the  house  of  Mr. 
Ballinger.  As  there  was  no  stove  or  fire,  in  the 
parlor  where  Philip  had  slept,  and  as  the  morning 
was  quite  cool,  he  occupied  a  seat  in  the  middle  or 
family  room.  He  had  often  thought  upon  the 
great  question,  as  to  the  best  method  of  governing 
and  training  a  family.  He  flattered  himself,  that 
he  had  arranged  in  his  own  mind,  so  complete  a 
system  of  domestic  culture,  that  when  he  should 
promulgate  it  to  the  public,  it  would  readily  be 
adopted,  and  prove  effectual,  in  the  perfect  and 
beautiful  development  of  the  most  unruly  elements 
of  any  household  in  the  land.  It  is  true,  that  for 
the  past  several  years  of  his  life,  he  had  only  been 
a  boarder  here  and  there,  .and  no  favorable  opportu- 
nities had  been  afforded  him  for  studying  this  ques- 


FAMILY  GOVERNMENT.  37 

tion,  with  its  practical  workings  before  him.  Yet 
he  had  no  doubt  but  his  theory  would  prove  emi- 
nently efficient  and  successful.  Philip  was  not  to 
be  censured,  for  his  presumption  in  thus  concluding 
upon  this  difficult  and  intricate  problem,  for  herein 
he  had  imitated  most  of  the  learned  bachelors  and 
maids  young  and  old,  and  the  profound  husbands 
and  wives  who  never  had  any  families  of  their  own 
to  govern.  He  had  studied  Wesley  and  a  few 
other  great  minds,  who  were  so  occupied  in  looking 
after  the  welfare  of  the  vast  public,  that  they  were 
scarcely  acquainted  with  their  own  domestic  affairs. 
Here,  in  the  Watkins  family,  Philip  had  a  living 
household  acting  before  him.  He  began  his  obser- 
vations at  the  breakfast  table.  The  youngest  boy 
was  about  ten  months  old,  and  was  tied  in  a  high 
chair  with  an  old  piece  of  rope,  and  sat  by  his  moth- 
er's elbow.  After  the  blessing  was  asked,  a  few 
drops  of  molasses  were  smeared  over  the  finger  ends 
of  this  infant  Watkins,  and  a  thimble  full  of  loose, 
raw  cotton  was  given  to  him  for  his  amusement. 
When  the  cotton  was  picked  from  one  finger  it  stuck 
to  another,  and  thus  gave  perpetual  employment  to 
the  little  worker,  and  kept  his  hands  out  of  mis- 
chief. His  mouth  and  stomach  were  kept  in  active 
exercise,  by  delicate  bits  and  spoonsful,  abundantly 
supplied  by  the  care  of  the  mother.  Benjamin 
Watkins,  a  four  year  old,  full  of  blood,  motion 
and  impudence,  sat  between  the  baby  and  the 


38  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

preacher.  While  the  woman  was  waiting  on  some 
one  else,  Ben  would  supplement  her  attentions  to 
the  young  one,  by  cramming  into  its  ready  jaws, 
more  than  it  could  swallow.  An  inch  of  stuffed 
sausage  was  too  much  for  it,  and  the  mother  had 
to  turn  it,  with  chair  attached,  bottom  side  up  to 
shake  the  lump  of  meat  from  its  throat. 

"Benny,  if  I  catch  you  putting  anything  more 
in  Jerry's  mouth,  I  will  compel  you  to  leave  the 
table." 

The  mother  was  excited  when  she  said  this,  for 
her  youngest  child  had  well  nigh  turned  black  in 
the  face  over  the  obstruction  of  his  windpipe. 
Ben  replied:  "I  sha'nt  neither  leave  ze  table." 
And  in  order  to  show  that  he  had  a  lofty  sense  of 
his  independence,  he  threw  a  quarter  of  a  biscuit 
across  the  table,  which  struck  his  brother  Joseph 
square  on  the  tip  of  his  nose.  And  the  untimely 
act  brought  from  the  insulted  Jo  the  remark :  "Ben 
I'll  knock  you  over,  if  you  do  that  again." 

' '  You  wont  nuther,  knock  me  over ;  will  he 
Ma?" 

The  appeal  to  his  ma  was  made  with  a  look  of 
injured  innocence  and  indignation. 

"No,  no,  Benny,  Jo  wont  knock  you  over." 
Here  Jo  shook  his  head  in  a  defiant  way,  as  much 
as  to  say,  that  the  knocking  was  certain  to  come ;  and 
the  mother  went  on:  "But  you  must  n't  throw 


FAMILY  GOVERNMENT.  39 

biscuit  that  way,  Benny,  the  preacher  will  see 
you." 

' '  What  if  he  does ;  he  wont  hurt  me  I  guess ; 
will  he  hurt  me  Ma  ?  This  'lasses  is  too  thin,  gim- 
my  some  shugar  to  make  it  thick,  Aunt  Jane." 
Aunt  Jane  sat  at  the  head  of  the  table,  and  did  not 
give  the  siighest  heed  to  what  the  little  desperado 
had  to  say. 

"Aunt  Jane,  d'ye  hear;  gimmy  some  shugar  to 
thicken  this  'lasses." 

"  Benny,"  said  the  mother,  "you  must  not  have 
the  sugar."  Her  tone  sounded  as  if  it  were  full  of 
maternal  apologies  for  Benny's  ill  manners.  He  un- 
derstood her  at  once.  So  he  called  out,  louder 
than  before: 

"Aunt  Jane,  d'ye  hear,  Aunt  Jane,  listen  tum- 
me ; "  and  he  balanced  a  potato  up  toward  his  head 
with  his  right  hand,  and  gave  a  fiercer  accent  to 
his  demand:  "Aunt  Jane,  if  ye  don't  gimmy  some 
shugar,  I'll  knock  that  wart  off  of  yer  chin  with 
this  tater.  Do  it,  Aunt  Jane,  before  I  count  three, 
or  'way  goes  your  old  wart:  one,  two,  th — "  here 
his  mother  pulled  his  hand  down  to  his  plate.  In 
his  rage  over  the  interference,  he  upset  his  coffee 
over  the  table  cloth.  At  this,  the  quiet  father  arose 
and  grasped  the  little  offender  by  the  shoulders  and 
set  him  in  the  other  room,  and  told  him  to  stay 
there  till  the  rest  were  done  eating.  And  he  indi- 
cated his  spirit  of  rebellion  by  kicking  the  door. 


4O  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

that  was  shut  against  him.  Now  and  then  he  would 
call  out  lustily : 

"  Ma !  ho,  Ma !  let  me  out;  I'll  be  good.  Let  me 
out  or  I'll  kick  this  door  down." 

And  the  kicking  went  on  with  more  or  less  vigor 
and  loud  threats  and  offers  of  reform  till  the  meal 
was  ended. 

Benny  was  so  aggravated  by  his  banishment  and 
imprisonment,  that  he  was  ready  now  to  declare 
war  upon  any  member  of  the  family.  He  had  hit  Jo 
on  the  nose,  and  seemed  still  inclined  to  pursue 
him.  He  was  now  busy  at  the  store  door,  convert- 
ing strips  of  paper  into  imitation  of  fire  works.  Jo 
was  making  a  hurried  and  awkward  effort  to  ex- 
change his  coarse  pants  for  a  fine  pair.  And  as  he 
was  holding  the  waistband,  and  was  balancing  him- 
self to  insert  his  foot,  the  ungodly  Ben  thrust  in  a 
burning  taper,  and  in  the  flurry  Jo  tipped  over, 
and  in  went  his  foot  with  the  blazing  little 
rocket,  and  he  was  scorched  from  his  ankle  to  his 
knee.  His  foot  came  out  faster  than  it  went  in, 
and  he  made  a  rush  for  Ben,  and  caught  him,  and 
jerked  him  and  knocked  him  upside  down.  Philip 
says,  that  he  wanted  to  get  up  and  give  Jo  a  quar- 
ter of  a  dollar.  The  father  had  gone  to  look  after 
the  stock.  The  mother  flew  from  the  other  room 
and  reproached  Jo  for  imposing  on  his  smaller  broth- 
er, Joe  gave  a  nod  or  two  of  defiance  and  said : 


FAMILY  GOVERNMENT.  41 

"I'll  show  him  where  to  stick  his  fire-works;  he's 
pretty  nigh  burnt  me  to  the  bone." 

Ben  rolled  over  on  his  back  by  the  bureau  and 
exclaimed  : 

"  Didn't  neither ;  I  jist  lighted  yer  foot  into  the 
dark  hole."  By  this  time  the  little  ruffian's  heels 
were  a  foot  high  scratching  and  scoring  the  bureau 
drawers,  singing: 

•'  Jack  and  Jill,  went  up  the  hill,  &c." 

"Stop  scratching  the  bureau  ;  "  said  Jo,  still  anx- 
ious to  be  avenged  on  Benny  for  the  torch  business. 

"  Benny,"  said  the  mother,  with  a  feeble  show  of 
authority,  "you  must  stop  that,  you'll  spoil  the 
bureau,  that's  very  naughty,  my  child,  get  off  the 
floor  and  set  on  your  little  stool ;  that's  a  good 
boy." 

Benny  scored  an  extra  arc  with  the  heel  of  his 
shoe  tearing  the  varnish,  and  in  a  bantering  way 
exclaimed:  "  Am  I  a  good  boy,  Ma?" 

"  No  you'r  not,"  exclaimed  Jo,  who  was  trying 
to  get  the  twist  out  of  the  back  of  his  suspenders, 
as  he  snapped  them  repeatedly  over  his  shoulders. 

"  Didn't1  ask  you,  Jo;  speak  when  yer  spoken 
to." 

"Come,  come,  boys,  you  must  be  quiet,  and 
not  disturb  the  preacher ;  come  Benny,  go  with  me 
into  the  other  room,"  said  the  mother  in  a  soothing 
under  tone. 


42  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"Shan't  do  it,  take  Jo,  if  you  wants  any  of  yer 
children;"  and  he  ran  to  the  opposite  side  of  the 
room  from  her,  and  leaned  against  the  table,  and 
picked  up  a  pair  of  scissors,  and  commenced  cutting 
pieces  from  the  last  weekly  paper.  His  mother  re- 
peatedly asked  him  to  lay  down  the  scissors  and  not 
cut  the  paper ;  but  she  might  as  well  have  attempted 
to  lead  an  unbroken  mule  across  a  ditch.  Jo,  er- 
roniously  supposing  that  it  would  propitiate  his 
mother's  favor,  slipped  behind  Benny  and  jerked 
the  scissors  from  his  hand,  and  laid  them  on  the 
mantle  beyond  his  reach.  At  this,  Ben  seized  the 
wooden  poker  and  was  aiming,  with  vigor  and  fe- 
rocity, at  Jo's  head ;  but  the  latter  wrenched  it 
from  the  little  bully  and  laid  it  on  the  mantle  too. 
The  mother  by  this  time  had  seated  herself,  as  if 
further  conflict  was  useless,  and  with  a  mingled  ex- 
pression of  amusement,  discouragement  and  resig- 
nation inquired :  "  Do  children  disturb  you,  Brother 
Force." 

"Not  often,  I  thank  you,"  said  Philip. 

Philip  was  slow  to  speak  freely,  for  fear  his  lan- 
guage would  pass  from  the  ambigous  to  the  un- 
truthful. He  thought  that  his  limited  acquaintance 
and  his  youth,  would  hardly  permit  his  giving  ad- 
vice to  any  good  effect.  And  further,  he  was  con- 
siderably confused  in  his  mind,  upon  the  great 
question  of  family  government. 


CONFUSION.  43 


CHAPTER   V. 

CONFUSION. 

At  nine  and  a  half  a.  m.,  all  the  Watkins  family, 
excepting  the  two  older  boys,  who  went  to  school, 
started  in  a  two-horse  wagon  for  the  house  of  Mr. 
Ballinger.  Philip  followed  on  horseback.  And 
yet,  to  say  that  he  followed,  hardly  expresses  the 
truth ;  for  his  complicated  budget  of  nerves  and 
horseflesh  was  before  and  behind,  and  on  both  sides 
of  the  wagon  alternately. 

"Here's  the  place,"  said  Watkins.  "I'll  hitch 
outside ;  you'd  best  ride  inside.  Well,  there's 
Brother  Ballinger  comin'."  And  Ballinger,  with 
his  linsey  wainmus,  jean  pants,  brogan  shoes,  and 
without  a  hat,  walked  hurriedly  toward  the  lowest 
part  of  the  fence  ;  and  Watkins  stood  in  his  wagon 
and  called  out : 

' '  Good  morning,  Ballinger ;  this  is  our  young 
preacher,  Brother  Force.  I  told  him  he'd  best  ride 
inside." 

' '  Yes,  yes,  ride  right  in,  Brother  Force ;  I  am 
glad  to  see  you,"  and  he  kicked  off  two  of  the  top 
rails  from  the  worm  fence,  and  the  filly  scaled  the 
remaining  three  rails  with  a  bound  ;  and-  Philip  dis- 
mounted and  shook  hands  with  the  proprietor  of  the 


44  THE  Two   CIRCUITS. 

establishment,  who  expressed  some  regrets  that 
Celebs  had  not  come.  But  Ballinger  was  good- 
natured,  and  was  glad  to  see  and  become  acquainted 
with  the  young  preacher. 

"  You  go  in,  Brother  Force;  it's  about  meeting 
time.  I'll  put  up  the  hoss." 

Philip,  however,  accompanied  him,  and  the  hoss 
was  taken  to  be  watered  at  the  well,  which  stood 
midway  between  the  house  and  barn,  and  three 
rods  from  each.  This  well  was  not  walled  or 
curbed,  neither  was  it  possessed  of  a  pump,  wind- 
lass or  sweep.  There  was  an  old,  leaky,  brass 
kettle  tied  to  the  end  of  a  long  bean  pole,  which 
served  to  draw  water.  A  few  rails  and  clapboards 
covered  the  top,  and  these  boards  were  pushed 
aside  with  the  foot  when  the  brass  kettte  was  sent 
down  for  supplies. 

The  stable  was  made  of  jack-oak  poles,  and 
would  hold  three  or  four  horses.  It  was  propped 
with  hay  and  fodder  on  three  sides,  and  the  top 
was  covered  with  clapboards ;  and  horses  were  kept 
from  going  in  and  out  by  fence  rails  stuck  across 
each  other  in  the  door. 

Nearly  all  the  men  who  were  to  compose  the 
congregation  were  standing  near  the  cabin's  front 
door,  telling  each  other  the  news,  discussing  the 
crops  and  weather,  and  fixing  and  predicting  the 
character  and  influence  of  events  yet  in  the  future. 
Philip  almost  quailed  before  the  united  stare  of  all 


CONFUSION.  45 

these  faces.  He  imagined  that  he  was  being  meas- 
ured, and  weighed,  and  sifted,  and  found  worthless 
before  he  came  close  to  them,  and  before  he  was 
allowed  a  trial.  But  when  they  gathered  about 
him,  with  words  of  kindness  and  hearty,  honest 
welcome,  he  knew  that  his  soul  was  not  among 
lions.  They  all  followed  him  into  the  house,  and 
the  room  was  uncomfortably  full.  The  door  was 
left  ajar,  not  for  ventilation,  but  for  light.  Poles 
were  hanging  a  few  inches  from  the  ceiling,  and 
they  were  thickly  encircled  with  rings,  strings  and 
circular  cuts  from  pumpkins,  hung  there  to  dry. 
The  ceiling,  as  far  as  could  be  seen  between  these 
yellow  slices,  was  of  oak  clapboards.  It  was  no 
sham  or  imitation  of  oak,  like  the  ceilings  of  city 
churches.  The  fire  place  was  of  vast  proportions, 
considering  the  dimensions  of  the  room.  It  was 
built  of  stones  of  nearly  all  sizes  and  shapes,  and 
brickbats  and  mud  ;  and  the  chimney,  from  the  fire 
place  upward,  was  made  of  mud  and  sticks.  On 
your  left,  as  you  faced  the  fire,  were  three  or  four 
shelves,  which  contained  the  queensware,  and  tin- 
cups  and  pans,  the  latter  looking  as  pure  and 
polished  as  clear  ice  in  the  sunlight.  A  small  stool, 
under  these  shelves,  held  the  water-bucket,  and 
within  it  floated  an  old  brown  gourd.  This  pail 
was  a  popular  resort  for  the  thirsty  congregation — 
a  fashionable  watering  place  for  squalling  infants 
and  restless  youths.  It  was  amazing  to  see  how 
4 


46  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

much  water  the  litte  prairie  sovereigns  could  hold. 
Philip  thought  of  the  stories  he  had  heard  of  New- 
port and  Saratoga.  No  celebrated  springs .  were 
ever  more  popular  with  the  gay  world  than  this  old 
gourd  and  its  contents  with  these  people.  Its 
handle  was  never  quiet  for  five  minutes.  Rollick- 
ing, roaring  sucklings,  bursting  with  heat  and 
wriggling  under  their  overload  of  prison  bandages, 
aprons,  tucks,  ruffles  and  wrappers,  and  all  manner 
of  flannel  and  calico,  had  to  be  cooled  every  few 
minutes.  Boys  and  girls,  roasted  to  redness  and 
oppressed  with  extra  Sunday  garments,  and  wedged 
into  the  bounds  of  propriety  between  the  knees  of 
sweating  parents,  struggled^  crawled,  crowded  and 
jumped  when  there  was  room  for  the  effort,  that 
they  might  gain  that  gourd  in  time  to  prevent 
spontaneous  combustion.  The  vast  heat  arising 
from  the  fire  place  added  materially  to  the  gourd's 
popularity.  Whatever  might  be  said  of  that  con- 
gregation's spiritual  temperature,  it  was  evident 
that  there  was  here  no  corporeal  lukewarmness  ;  for 
this  room  was  the  torrid  zone  on  a  small  scale. 
And  the  proprietor  of  this  jack-oak  tabernacle 
deemed  it  his  bounden  duty  to  pile  on  the  fuel  and 
punch  up  the  fire  for  the  comfort  of  the  audience. 
He  would  take  the  bucket,  when  the  gourd  sounded 
on  the  bottom,  and  visit  the  well  with  the  bean 
pole  and  brass  kettle,  and  replenish ;  and  every 
time  he  came  in  with  a  fresh  supply,  many  mouth.s 


CONFUSION.  47 

were  cracking  with  thirst,  eager  to  touch  the  edge 
of  the  gourd.  Old  men  and  matrons  would  drink 
and  sweat,  and  try  their  best  to  keep  awake. 
Young  women  would  bring  their  heads  out  of  the 
dark  recesses  of  close-fitting  sunbonnets,  and  look 
in  sympathy  toward  the  young  men ;  and  the  young 
men  would,  most  of  them,  come  forward  and  par- 
take diffidently;  but  then  it  seemed  a  case  of 
necessity  with  them,  for  the  whole  visible  surface 
of  their  heads  and  necks,  as  they  turned  them  back 
to  receive  the  contents  of  the  gourd,  indicated  that 
any  further  accumulation  of  caloric  within  them 
might  end  in  a  display  of  fireworks. 

The  seats  were  made  of  slabs,  with  the  round  side 
turned  down,  and  pegs,  twenty  inches  long,  were 
driven  into  two-inch  auger  holes  for  legs.  Two  or 
three  rough  planks  were  made  to  reach  from  one 
chair  to  another,  thus  extending  x'he  seating  privi- 
leges. The  rest  of  the  chairs  were  the  reserved 
seats  for  the  ladies,  and  they  were  generally  placed 
nearest  the  fire  and  water. 

There  was  no  window  in  the  house ;  that  is, 
there  was  no  glass  window.  Opposite  the  door  a 
log  was  cut  out  where  a  window  was  expected  to 
be ;  and  over  this  hole  hung  a  white,  abbreviated 
window-curtain,  and  it  was  pushed  to  one  side  on 
the  draw-string.  And  near  this  was  a  red  stand, 
its  top  surface  being  about  the  size  of  a  common 
barrel  head.  On  this  stand  lay  the  bible  and 


48  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

hymn  book ;  and  Philip  was  informed  that  that  was 
the  place  for  him.  Thither  he  went,  a  target  for 
every  curious  eye ;  placed  his  hat  under  the  minia- 
ture table,  surveyed  his  audience,  which  was  packed 
nearly  as  close  as  figs  in  a  box ;  seated  himself  in 
the  split-bottomed  chair ;  reached  over  for  his  hymn 
book,  as  the  hour  was  at  hand  for  beginning  the 
service.  The  day  was  cloudy,  and  the  door  only 
half  open,  and  it  was  rather  dark  for  easy  reading ; 
so  Philip  brought  his  eyes  as  close  to  this  embryo 
window  as  possible,  and  commenced  reading  his 
hymn.  While  these  preliminaries  were  going  on 
within,  the  cats  and  dogs  had  raised  between  them 
a  serious  misunderstanding,  out  in  the  open  air ; 
and  the  hubbub  had  reached  the  climax  of  its  fury 
as  Philip  was  trying  to  give  emphasis  to  the  closing 
line  of  the  second  stanza.  There  was  a  loud  thun- 
der of  yelping,  barking,  howling  and  squalling, 
intermingled  with  the  cackling  and  screaming  of 
hens  and  roosters,  and  the  gobbling  of  turkeys  and 
the  shrill  racket  of  many  geese.  The  cats  yelled 
for  quarter,  the  dogs  yelled  defiant  refusals ;  and  a.s 
Philip  commenced  to  read  the  third  stanza,  a  cat  of 
great  size  and  in  desperate  rage  came  whirling  and 
spitting,  like  a  little  engine,  through  that  air-hole, 
right  over  his  hymn  book.  Philip  dodged,  and  the 
cat,  with  a  piercing  howl,  ran  under  the  bed  and 
gradually  subsided.  But  no  sooner  had  Philip 
wiped  the  perspiration  from  his  face,  and  given  two 


CONFUSION  WITHIN. 


CONFUSION.  5 1 

or  three  make-believe  coughs,  to  relieve  his  confu- 
sion, and  resumed  the  lining  of  his  hymn,  than  in 
came  cat  number  two,  worse  than  the  first,  roaring 
with  spasmodic  spurts  of  madness,  knocking  the 
hymn  book  out  of  Philip's  hand,  and  bewildering 
his  perceptions,  and  driving  solemnity  from  the 
audience.  Immediately  in  front  of  Philip  sat  a 
quite  elderly  gentleman,  his  glossy  head  as  hairless 
as  the  palm  of  his  hand ;  his  chin  and  hands  resting 
on  his  staff,  and  his  eyes  turned  intently  toward  the 
preacher.  Now,  this  second  cat,  having  no  regard 
for  the  gravity  of  age,  or  not  properly  calculating 
distances  as  it  sailed  through  the  window  with 
frightful  recklessness,  alighted  right  on  this  old 
man's  bald  head,  and  left  visible  and  painful  foot- 
prints. The  old  gentleman  jumped  as  if  he  was 
shot,  and  gave  an  unearthly  roar  that  might  have 
been  heard  for  half  a  mile.  At  last  order  was 
restored,  and  Philip  proceeded  with  his  discourse  on 
human  duty. 

He  had  no  notes  ;  and  had  eighteen  inches  of  floor 
to  stand  on,  and  was  quite  hot,  and  had  an  audience 
of  the  same  temperature.  He  soon  lost  sight  of 
his  difficulties,  and  began  to  hope  that  good  might 
be  accomplished.  There  was  no  long  or  labored 
exordium  ;  no  attempt  at  metaphysics  ;  but  a  direct 
appeal  to  the  people  before  him.  Toward  the  close 
of  his  remarks,  he  noticed  a  woman,  with  a  shawl 


52  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

and  an  extensive  sunbonnet,  with  her  side  toward 
him,  sitting  before  the  fire,  who  seemed  to  be 
greatly  agitated.  Philip  took  courage  in  thinking 
his  words  had  touched  and  moved  one  member  of 
his  auditory.  He  enlarged  upon  his  topic.  The 
woman's  excitement  increased.  Philip  increased 
the  volume  of  his  voice  and  the  fervor  of  his 
appeals.  Her  excitement  grew.  He  waxed  warm- 
er in  pathos,  and  directed  to  her  words  of  encour- 
agement. She  seemed  nearly  overcome  with  her 
convictions.  Philip  was  fully  fired,  calling  out  his 
powers  of  "heart  and  soul  and  voice."  His  linen 
was  moist  with  perspiration  ;  his  face  was  flushed ; 
his  gestures  became  rapid,  and  his  speech  vehe- 
ment. He  leaned  forward  in  the  eagerness  of  hope, 
and  rejoiced  in  spirit  that  the  word  was  quick  and 
"powerful.  "Surely, "  thought  he,  "good  is  being 
done."  But,  alas!  "man  in  his  best  estate  is 
vanity;"  for,  when  he  was  in  the  climax  of  his 
exhortation  and  expectation,  she  turned  and  looked 
upon  the  face  of  the  preacher ;  and,  behold,  she 
was  chattering  and  shaking  with  the  ague,  and  her 
lips  were  as  blue  as  faded  indigo.  Philip  suddenly 
caught  the  chill  himself,  and  motioning  to  the  local 
preacher  by  his  side,  called  to  him  : 

"Brother  Dawson,  will  you  close  with  prayer?" 

Philip  wandered  some  in   his  mind  during  that 

prayer.       He    thought    of    the    dead,     borrowed 


CONFUSION.  53 

•horse  ;  his  confusion  about  family  government  ; 
and  the  present  events  of  cats  and  ague,  and 
repeated  to  himself,  "Vanity  of  vanities,  saith 
thb  preacher ;"  and  he  further  thought  his  eccle- 
siastical status  was  being  unsatisfactorily  defined. 

\A  disturbing  genius  whispered,  ' '  Young  man,  you 
hare  missed  your  calling.  You  and  your  place  are 
nol  in  harmony.  You  are  like  a  round  man  trying 
to  fit  a  square  hole.  Get  away  from  here.  Go 
Further  west.  Hide.  Some  one  else  was  called 
andlyou  have  answered.  Go  to  farming,  or  learn  ;i 
trade,  or  hire  out  to  some  one  who  knows  the 
worjd.  Oh,  go  at  anything,  where  your  natural 
idiody  will  not  so  easily  be  perceived.  You  strike 
in  the  wrong  place.  You  beat  the  air.  You  don't 
even!  know  how  to  feed  horses,  nor  how  to  cure 
them  when  sick.  Cats  and  all  animated  life  are  at 
variance  with  you.  You  don't  know  a  word  of  this- 
prayer  that  is  going  on  now.  You  can't  see  the 
difference  between  the  chills  and  gospel  conviction. 
Young\man,  don't  be  a  humbug.  Don't  aim  to  be 
an  cage  when  you  are  merely  an  ordinary  barn 
fowl.  True,  a  genius  is  not  expected  to  have  com- 
mon sense.  Yes,  your  teachers  said  you  had  gen- 
ius, ana  Mary  agreed  with  them.  Yes,  yes,  she 
thinks  y^)u  are  the  embodiment  of  wisdom  and 
sublimity^  She  don't  know  you.  Her  father 
knows  you.  He  has  sense,  that's  why  he  said  you 
could  n't  ^ave  her.  O,  foolish,  youth,  she  think. 


54  THE  Two   CIRCUITS. 

you  are  an  angel.  May  be  you  are  ;  but  the  world 
don't  appreciate  angels  now  days.  They  are  better 
adapted  to  another  and  higher  sphere  of  existence. 
If  want  of  adaptation  to  the  disjointed  affairs  here 
below  is  a  characteristic  of  angels  perchance  you 
are  one.  '  Vain  man  thy  fond  pursuits  forbear. '  Re- 
pent, stop,  tarn  about,  defeat  is  nigh ;  think  before 
you  are  utterly  consumed." 

The  ending  of  the  prayer  stopped  this  whirl  of 
suggestions,  and  the  benediction  was  pronounced 
in  gloom. 


CELEBS  VISITED,  55 


CHAPTER   VI. 

CELEBS  VISITED. 

The  sermon,  with  all  its  attendent  etceteras,  oc- 
cupied about  fifty  minutes.  Class-meeting  wns 
announced  to  be  held  immediately  after  dismission. 
A  dozen  or  fifteen  persons  remained ;  the  others, 
for  the  most  part,  entertained  themselves  out 
doors,  until  the  services  within  were  concluded. 
The  young  preacher  acted  as  the  leader.  Accord- 
ing to  the  usual  custom,  he  called  upon  each  'one 
successively  to  relate  some  portion  of  their  religious 
experience.  The  whole  exercise  passed  off  smooth- 
ly until  nearly  every  one  had  spoken. 

Among  those  present  was  an  elderly  looking  lady  ; 
neatly  but  not  expensively  dressed.  A  few  silvery 
lines  were  discernable  in  the  thin  coat  of  her  once 
jet  black  hair.  Some  dentist  had  drawn  largely  up- 
on her  mouth ;  but  while  old  teeth  had  been  re- 
moved, new  ones  had  not  taken  their  places.  Her 
thin  lips  were  compressed  with  sad  and  pensive 
severity  over  their  loss,  and  looked  as  if  they  were 
ready  to  say,  "  Do  not  ask  me  to  speak."  A  girl 
of  eight  years  leaned  fondly  upon  her  side,  which 
gave  her  a  matronly  appearance,  and  these  circum- 


56  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

stances  together  emboldened  Philip  to  address  her 
with  a  degree  of  familiarity. 

' '  Mother,  we  would  be  glad  to  hear  from  you 
about  Heaven's  goodness."  Any  thing  but  joy 
sparkled  in  her  eyes,  and  there  was  an  absence  of 
calm  delight  from  her  lips  as  she  replied : 

"I  thank  you,  sir;  I'm  nobody's  mother.  But 
I  am  trying  to  be  religious,  and  hope  to  gain  heaven 
when  done  with  this  troublesome  world." 

Her  accent  was  forcible  on  the  word  troublesome. 
Philip  shook  his  head  in  dismay,  as  if  to  remove 
the  glimmer  from  his  eyes  and  gave  two  or  three 
vehement  coughs  and  wiped  the  great  drops  of  per- 
spiration from  his  face  and  tried,  with  all  his  power, 
to  bring  out  an  appropriate  reply ;  but  in  vain ;  his 
ideas  were  like  tow  blowing  among  thorns.  He 
looked  into  the  fire  place  and  then  upward  to  the 
canopy  of  pumpkins,  and  in  his  blundering  confu- 
sion commenced  to  sing : 

"Whom  man  forsakes,  thou  wilt  not  leave." 
This  woman  was  unmarried,  and  Philip  ne\er  suc- 
ceeded in  securing  her  favorable  opinion.     She  al- 
ways persisted  in  declaring,  that  he  lacked  talents, 
taste  and  common  discernment 

After  all  had  spoken,  Philip  asked  the  leader  of 
the  class  if  he  desired  to  say  anything  to  the  mem- 
bers before  dismission.  He  arose  and  urged  upon 
them  the  importance  of  supporting  the  gospel.  He 
said  the  new  preachers  have  come  among  us,  and 


CELEBS  VISITED.  57 

we  ought  to  welcome  them  by  a  prompt  and  cheer- 
ful attention  to  their  temporal  wants ;  and  if  any 
were  prepared  to  hand  in  their  quarterage,  he  would 
receive  it.  One  man  arose  and  handed  the  leader 
twenty-five  cents,  and  remarked : 

' '  I  most  generally  pay  a  quarter  every  time  the 
preacher  comes  around  and  preaches ;  and  when  he 
don't  come  around,  I  pay  nothing. " 

Another  man  handed  him  five  dollars,  and  told 
the  leader  to  put  him  down  for  twenty  dollars  for 
the  year.  That  was  Mr.  Ballinger.  Two  wealthy 
men,  close  by  the  last  giver,  sat  looking  sadly 
down  their  noses,  as  if  exploring  the  sea  of  tobacco 
juice  at  their  feet.  They  sighed  and  shuffled  their 
toes,  and  rested  their  chins  on  the  palms  of  their 
hands,  and  their  elbows  on  their  knees,  and  gave 
nothing. 

One  of  these  latter  mentioned  men,  a  Mr.  Get, 
in  a  few  weeks  after  this,  took  three  bushels  of  ap- 
ples to  Doubletown,  and  tried  all  forenoon  to  sell 
them,  and  failed.  He  had  sold  his  butter,  eggs, 
meat  and  flour,  but  found  no  purchaser  for  ap- 
ples. All  at  once  it  occurred  to  him,  that  he  would 
make  a  present  of  them  to  Mr.  Celebs,  the  senior 
preacher.  Accordingly,  with  his  wife  and  two 
grown  daughters,  and  two  half  grown  boys,  and 
two  horses,  and  two  ponderous  Newfoundland  pups, 
he  went  to  Mr.  Celebs',  to  manifest  the  fullness  of 
the  family  generosity,  in  making  him  a  present  of 


58  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

the  three  bushels  of  apples.  It  was  Saturday,  and 
Mr.  Celebs  was,  of  course,  glad  to  see  them.  What 
business  has  a  preacher  to  be  in  any  other  state  of 
mind.  And  every  woman  knows  how  perfectly 
delighted  Mrs.  Celebs  must  have  been ;  for  she  had 
just  commenced  housekeeping,  and  Mr.  Get  was  a 
rich  farmer,  one  of  the  solid  men  of  the  Double- 
town  circuit. 

Celebs  helped  them  unhitch  their  horses  and  put 
them  in  the  stable ;  taking  his  own  horse  out  and 
tying  him  to  the  fence.  One  of  the  young  Gets' 
broke  Celebs'  pitchfork,  trying  to  make  a  jurnping- 
pole  of  it. 

After  matters  were  arranged  at  the  stable,  Celebs 
hastened  to  the  house  and  seated  Mr.  Get  with  his 
family  and  the  two  Newfoundlands,  in  the  parson- 
age parlor.  Mr.  Get  took  ofT  his  hat  with  a  pat- 
ronizing air,  reminding  you  of  a  landlord  who  had 
called  to  dine  with  one  of  his  tenants. 

Celebs  took  his  basket,  and  hurried  to  the  market 
places,  and  bought  two  extra  pounds  of  butter  and 
a  large  piece  of  meat,  and  came  home  and  killed  an 
extra  chicken  ;  and  his  wife  did  extra  duty  in  get- 
ting dinner  for  her  guests;  and  their  stomachs  did 
extra  justice  to  the  occasion. 

Celebs  reserved  his  force  to  appear  agreeable,  and 
wasted  none  of  it  in  useless  words.  And  as  Mr. 
Get  was  inclined  to  be  loquacious,  full  range  and 


REV.   ELIJAH  CELEBS. 


CELEBS  VISITED.  59 

opportunity  was  given  to  his  powers  while  at  the 
table. 

"Brother  Celebs,  I  thought  I'd  bring  you  over  a 
few  bushels  of  apples,  and  call  and  see  you  while 
we  were  in  town." 

' '  Thank  you,  Brother  Get,  we  are  happy  to  see 
you." 

' '  I  tried  to  sell  them  apples  all  over  town,  but 
nobody  wanted  'em:  and  rather'n  carry  'em  back 
home,  I  'lowed  I  mout  as  well  bring  'em  over  and 
make  you  a  present  of  'em.  I  reckon  preachers 
don't  get  much ;  yet  nearly  all  of  'em's  askin  for 
money  every  time  they  have  a  chance.  It  always 
spiles  a  meetin,  to  me,  to  have  'em  take  up  a  col- 
lection. It  looks  too  much  like  mixin'  worldly  and 
holy  things  together.  The  most  of  us  is  poor  in 
our  society;  and  some  of  'em's  in  debt  for  their 
farms,  and  have  hard  work  to  get  along.  I  know 
its  the  case  with  myself,  and  I  judges  other  people 
by  myself.  I'll  thank  you  for  more  of  that  meat ; 
its  elegant. 

How  much  have  I  ?  Well,  I've  about  fifteen  hun- 
dred "  acres,  and  its  the  best  prairie  in  the  region, 
and  forty  acres  of  timber  j'inin'.  I  bought  another 
eighty  last  fall,  and  its  not  all  paid  for.  If  I  was 
out  of  debt  I'd  try  and  do  more  for  the  church. 
But,  my  motto  is,  to  be  just  before  ye'r  generous. 
My  will's  good,  to  do  right  smart,  but  seem  like 


60  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

I'm  always  in  debt.  I'm  in  debt  some  for  my  cat- 
tle too. 

How  many  cattle  have  I?  Well,  I  ha'nt  more'n 
two  hundred  head  this  season.  But,  I  tell  ye, 
they'r  as  splendid  a  bunch  o'  steers  as  ever  ye  see. 
I  got  'em  right  low.  I  wouldn't  turn  my  hand  over 
to  no  man  in  buying  cattle  right.  If  nothin  hap- 
pens, I'll  make  a  nice  thing  out  of  them.  I'll  take 
another  cup  of  that  coffee,  Sister  Celebs ;  I  don't 
generally  drink  more'n  three  cups,  but  that's  extra 
good. 

And  then,  since  you  mentioned  my  stock,  I  want 
you  to  stop,  when  you'r  up  our  way,  and  look  at  my 
mules  ;  they'r  mules,  what  is  mules.  Be  sure  and 
stop  over,  and  I'll  show  you  some  hogs  too,  that's 
hard. to  beat,  in  this  neck  o'timber.  They  come 
from  down  east,  and  cost  like  Boston  to  get  'em 
here ;  but  they'r  mor'n  paid  for  themselves  long  'go. 
But  seem  like  I'm  always  in  debt.  And  I've  got 
to  build  a  new  barn  in  the  spring.  And  I'm  afeered 
the  wheat,  wont  do  well.  Old  Seabright  knows  all 
sich  things,  and  he  says,  the  fly's  in  it  now ;  and 
what  the  fly  leaves  will  be  half  cheat. 

That's  true,  Brother  Celebs,  we  ought  to  have  a 
church  built,  up  with  us.  But  then  we're  nearly 
all  in  debt;  when  we  get  a  little  beforehand  we'll 
have  to  build.  But,  then,  we've  mighty  good,  re- 
ligious times  at  Ballinger's  house ;  and  I'm  afeered 
if  we  had  a  new  church,  we'd  get  proud  and  formal, 


CELEBS  VISITED.  61 

and  lose  the  power.  Some  of  'em  said  I  ought  to 
have  the  preachin  at  my  house,  as  it  was  bigger' n 
Ballinger's.  But  ye  see,  Brother  Celebs,  I've  al- 
ways got  work  hands  about  that  cares  nothin'  for 
meetin' ;  and  it  makes  so  much  work  and  bother  for 
the  wimmen  folks  and  ther's  always  such  a  crowd 
stays  for  dinner;  and  some  of  the  sermons  is  so 
long  that  it  keeps  the  work  hands  a  waitin'  and 
stops  their  work,  and  their  pay  goes  on  all  the  time, 
you  know;  and  they  don't  like  to  wait  so  long  for 
dinner.  And  then,  Ballinger,  seems  like,  he  wants 
the  meetin'  at  his  house,  and  I  don't  like  to  ask  him 
to  give  it  up.  I  would  n't  have  any  hard  feelin's 
between  me  and  Ballinger.  Ballinger's  poor,  and 
has  a  tough  time  to  get  along.  Seem  like  he  can't 
calculate  and  get  forehand.  He  goes  to  meetin'  too 
much.  Don't  you  think  a  man  can  be  righteous 
over  much?  Well,  Ballinger's  one  o'  them.  I 
believe  he'd  rather  go  to  meetin'  than  buy  a  good 
steer.  He'd  rather  pray  than  strike  a  trade.  Then, 
Ballinger  gives  too  much.  He  throws  in  some- 
thing nearly  every  time  ther's  a  collection  ;  and  he 
tries  to  coax  his  neighbors  to  throw  in.  Now,  that's 
not  me ;  they  don't  get  me  into  their  collections 
nary  time.  Ther's  a  time  for  all  things,  and  char- 
ity begins  at  home.  The  world  thinks  nothin'  of 
ye  if  ye  have  nothin'.  I  let  the  world  know  that  I 
can  pay  my  way,  and  have  something  left. 


62  THE  Two   CIRCUITS. 

Oh,  yes,  yes,  that's  true  nearly  everybody  likes 
Ballinger.  Even  the  worldians  are  ready  to  swear 
he's  all  right  and  sure  of  heaven.  But  some  of  'em, 
seem  like  they  envy  me,  and  persecute  me.  But 
I  don't  mind  'em  much,  for  the  book  says,  '  Blessed 
are  they  who  are  persecuted. '  They  call  me  hard 
names,  and  say  I'm  stingy,  because  I  provide  for 
my  own  household.  Everybody  seems  to  try  to 
cheat  me ;  but  thank  the  Lord  they  can't  do  it, 
much  ;  they  don't  catch  old  Get  a  nappin'.  Then, 
the  preachers  sometimes  preach  at  me  on  money  ; 
but  I  can  always  tell  the  difference  a'tween  that  and 
the  ginniwine  gospel ;  I  let  it  go  in  one  ear  and  out 
the  other.  Thank  the  Lord  the  gospel's  free ; 
and  when  they  preach  a  pay  gospel,  I  call  it  no 
gospel  at  all.  Ballinger  and  me's  nearly  always 
argyin'  about  givin'.  I  argy,  that  he  gives  too  much, 
that  he'll  never  be  worth  nuthin'. 

Oh,  well,  yes,  I  know  he's  got  a  hundred  and 
sixty  acres,  and  its  paid  for,  and  he's  out  o'  debt, 
and  wasn't  worth  a  continental  red  when  he  came 
here,  and  he's  right  smart  o'  stock  for  a  hundred 
and  sixty  acres.  He  says,  it  does  him  as  much  good 
to  give,  as  it  does  me  to  make  money ;  but  I  don't 
see  how  it  can.  It's  not  so  with  me,  by  a  long 
ways.  But  he  always  seems  in  good  speerits,  and 
everybody's  glad  to  see  him ;  and  everybody  haint 
glad  to  see  me.  Ye  see,  I  come  it  sharp  over  them 
in  a  trade  sometimes ;  and  it  seems  like,  they'r 


CELEBS  VISITED.  63 

fornenst  me  after  that.  But  they'r  bound  to  look 
up  to  me ;  for  I've  got  more'n  any  of  'em ;  except 
one  or  two  of  my  neighbors ;  and  they  never  trade 
with  me,  or  it  wouldn't  be  so  with  them  long. 
They  never  want  to  buy  any  thing  I  want  to  sell, 
and  they  never  want  to  sell  me  any  thing  I  want  to 
buy. 

No,  I  guess  not  Brother  Celebs.  I  believe  I 
don't  want  to  subscribe  for  the  '  Advercate. '  I  tuck 
the  thing  last  year,  and  seem  like  I  had  hard  work 
to  read  it ;  and  the  children  haint  much  learnin' ; 
and  when  a  body  works  hard  all  day,  they'r  tired 
enough  to  sleep  at  dark.  And  when  yer  readin* 
ye  have  to  burn  two  candles,  one  to  run  about  with, 
and  the  other  to  read  by ;  and  then  two  dollars  is'nt 
picked  up  every  day,  to  pay  for  it.  We  don't  read 
what  books  we've  got ;  and  what's  the  use  o'  buy- 
in'  more  readin'  when  ye'r  more'n  ye  use  now. 

Where  did  you  say,  Brother  Tagus  went  this 
year?  Well,  they  ought  to  put  Tagus  on  a  hard 
circuit.  When  he  rode  here,  I  told  him  one  day, 
that  he  might  have  twenty  bushel  o'  corn,  if  he'd 
come  and  pick  it,  and  haul  it  away  hisself,  for  I  had 
more'n  I  could  gather.  And  don't  you  think,  he 
didn't  want  to  pay  me  full  price  for  that  corn,  in  the 
way  of  quarterage.  Tagus  isn't  fit  for  a  preacher ; 
he's  always  lookin'  after  the  dollar.  He  cheated 
me  in  a  hoss  swap.  I  wasn't  thinkin'  of  such  a 
thing  in  a  preacher,  or  I'd  a  been  up  to  him.  I'm 


64  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

more'n  ever  convicted  of  the  great  evil  of  preachers 
swappin'  hosses.  He  made  twenty  dollars  in  that 
trade.  No,  he  didn't  do  any  thing  dishonest,  ex- 
actly ;  but  he  got  up  on  my  blind  side,  as  the  sayin' 
is,  and  I  might  just  as  well  made  that  twenty  dol- 
lars as  him. 

No,  sir,  I  guess  I  won't  do  nothin'  for  missions 
this  year.  I  paid  enough  last  year  to  do  me  some 
time.  I  reckon  I  must  o'  paid  pretty  nigh  seven 
dollars  last  year,  if  not  twenty.  If  every  body 
would  do  as  well  as  me,  missionaries  would  live 
high.  Ye  see,  Tagus  kept  beggin'  me  for  mission- 
ary money  every  time  he  was  at  my  house.  And 
last  April  I  had  a  sick,  yearlin'  calf,  I  thought  was 
goin'  to  die.  And  Tagus  was  there  braggin'  on 
every  thing  I  had,  and  was  a  feelin'  mighty  sorry 
for  my  sick  calf.  I  told  him  its  chances  for  life 
wasn't  worth  a  quarter  of  a  dollar,  and  just  then  he 
asked  me  to  give  that  calf  to  the  missionary  cause. 
Well,  I  never  did  believe  in  givin'  to  convert  heath- 
ens away  off,  when  there  was  so  many  to  convert 
at  home.  My  rule  is,  charity  begins  at  home. 
But  then,  I  liked  Tagus  right  well,  he  was  good 
company,  and  a  mighty  fine  judge  o'  stock  ;  and  he 
got  me  to  promise  to  let  him  have  the  calf  for  mis- 
sions. Well,  I  didn't  care  much,  for  I  didn't  think 
that  would  be  givin  any  thing ;  and  wouln  n't  break 
my  charity  rule ;  so  I  told  him  he  might  have  the 
lousy  thing.  But  would  you  believe  it,  that  calf 


CELEBS  VISITED.  65 

was  on  its  legs  in  less  than  three  days  after  that. 
It  picked  up  tremjous,  like.  And  Tagus  called  to 
see  it,  as  if  it  was  a  sick  child ;  and  seemed  to  think 
as  much  of  it,  as  if  it  was  one  of  the  family.  And 
he  doctored  it,  and  petted  it,  and  called  it  Durbin. 
I  thought  for  a  while  he  meant  Durham  ;  but  he 
said  he  called  it  after  Dr.  Durbin,  a  great  mission- 
ary man.  When  he  came  to  take  it  away,  as  he 
was  leaving  the  circuit,  it  was  the  finest  calf  of  its 
age  on  the  farm.  I  wanted  him  to  pay  a  dollar  or 
two  for  its  keepin'  ;  I  thought  that  was  no  more'n 
justice  ;  but  he  laughed  at  me.  I  tried  to  hold  him 
to  it ;  but  he  told  me  so  many  anecdotes,  and  kept 
in  such  a  good  humor,  that  I  had  to  let  it  go.  But 
I  hated  it  mightily,  for  it  was  the  makin'  of  an  ele- 
gant steer.  I  could  a  made  the  thing  brought  me 
twenty  dollars;  and  cost  me,  in  a  manner,  nothin'." 
While  this  interesting  conversation  was  going  on 
at  the  table,  the  two  Newfoundland  pups  had  de- 
cided to  break  their  fast,  and  to  that  intent,  explor- 
ed the  back  yard  and  garden.  They  upset  a  jar  of 
cream,  ready  for  churning,  in  the  milk-house^;  suck- 
ed and  smashed  two  dozen  eggs ;  and  greased  their 
throats  with  a  pound  of  butter.  After  this  repast, 
they  appeared  to  have  gone  to  the  clothes  line,  and 
pulled  down  two  shirts  and  a  table  cloth,  and  tore 
them  into  napkins,  for  the  wiping  of  their  teeth 
and  paws ;  and  when  discovered  they  were  gratify- 
ing their  curiosity,  by  chewing  and  tangling  Celebs' 


66  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

new  harness,  which  had  been  hanging  on  the  fence. 
Mr.  Get,  after  a  few  regretful  expressions,  was  de- 
lighted  with  the  sagacity  thus  displayed,    and  al 
though  it  might  be  an  annoyance  to  Celebs,  he  con- 
cluded it  would  be  the  making  of  the  pups. 

These  things,  with  the  happiness  he  enjoyed  in 
expressing  his  opinions  so  freely  to  Celebs,  and  the 
further  felicity  of  bestowing  three  bushels  of  apples, 
prepared  Mr.  Get  to  go  home  in  a  high  state  of 
good  humor  and  self-satisfaction. 


AT  WIDOW  MAGULTY'S.  67 


CHAPTER   VII. 
AT   WIDOW   MAGULTY'S. 

After  concluding  the  services  and  enjoying  din- 
ner at  Ballinger's  cabin,  Philip  started  for  his  next 
appointment,  which  was  to  be  the  following  day, 
at  eleven  o'clock,  seven  miles  away,  at  the  house 
of  Mrs.  Magulty.  He  reached  there  at  five  p.  m., 
and  found  them  all  ready  to  receive  the  preacher. 
But  they  had  expected  to  greet  Mr.  Celebs,  and 
manifested  a  slight  displeasure  at  the  disappoint- 
ment. 

Mrs.  Magulty  was  a  quiet,  plain,  good-natured 
widow  lady,  of  fifty-five  years ;  and  the  balance  of  her 
family  consisted  of  two  grown  daughters,  and  one 
son,  who,  though  not  entirely  grown,  felt  himself 
as  fully  and  perfectly  developed  as  almost  any 
person  in  the  country.  His  mother  considered  him 
a  very  superior  youth.  He  had  an  inquiring  mind, 
and  quite  limited  cultivation,  but  was  exceedingly 
communicative  and  desirous  of  displaying  his  wit. 
He  met  Philip  at  the  gate. 

"Does  Mrs.  Magulty  live  here?' 

"Yes,  siree. " 

' '  My  name  is  Force ;  Mr.  Celebs  desired  me  to 
fill  his  appointment  here  to-morrow. " 


68  THE  Two  CIRCUITS 

"Why  didn't  Celebs  come  himself?  I  s'pose 
you're  the  young  preacher,  haint  ye  ?  I  heard  his 
name  was  Force.  If  you're  him,  jist  git  off  o'  that 
bay  filly  o'  yourn  and  I'll  put  her  up,  and  you  go  in 
the  house." 

Philip  dismounted,  and  Zeph.  took  hold  of  the 
bridle,  and  pulled  off  the  saddle-bags,  and  re- 
marked : 

"  Mebby  you'd  just  as  soon  carry  these  in  your- 
self? Can  that  mar'  o'  yourn  run  much?  Guess 
her  legs  is  most  too  short.  Jist  walk  in,  and  tell 
the  folks  who  you  are,  and  make  yourself  at  home. 
Mother  and  the  girls  is  got  all  the  piety  there  is  at 
this  house.  Go  in,  Mr.  Force." 

He  rapped  at  the  door,   which  was  opened  by 

'one  of  the  girls.      Mrs.    Magulty  sat  by   the   fire 

knitting,  and  as  Philip   came  in  she  arose  with  a 

smile  to  receive  him,  and  slightly  started  back,   as 

she  said : 

"Why,  this  is  not  Brother  Celebs." 

"No,  madam,  my  name  is  Force." 

"Oh,  the  young  preacher,  is  it?  I  am  glad  to 
see  you,  Brother  Force ;  take  the  rocking-chair. 
Jane,  take  his  saddle-bags  and  put  them  in  the 
closet.  Did  Zephaniah  put  up  your  horse?" 

' '  A  young  man  took  my  horse  at  the  gate,  and 
said  he  would  put  it  in  the  stable." 

"  That's  my  son  Zephaniah;"  and  the  old  lady 
resumed  her  seat  and  the  knitting,  and  went  on: 


AT  WIDOW  MAGULTY'S.  69 

"Brother  Squillip  has  been  here  for  an  hour  to  get 
you  to  go  over  to  his  school  house  to  preach  to- 
night. He's  just  gone  to  one  of  the  neighbors, 
and  will  be  back  in  a  few  minutes.  He  thought 
Brother  Celebs  was  coming ;  but  I  guess  you'll  suit 
him.  He  knew  Brother  Celebs,  for  he  preached  on 
a  circuit  where  he  lived  a  few  years,  ago.  There's 
no  regular  preaching  at —  But  there  comes  Brother 
Squillip  now.  Walk  in,  Brother  Squillip ;  that's 
Brother  Force,  our  young  preacher." 

"How-de-do,  Brother  Force;  why  didn't  Ce- 
lebs come  ?  I'll  give  him  tribulation  when  I  see 
him.  I've  been  calculating  for  two  weeks  for  him 
to  preach  in  our  school  house  to-night.  I  know'd 
he'd  go,  for  him  and  me's  great  friends.  We  used 
to  hunt  deer  and  chase  wolves  together,  when  he 
traveled  our  circuit.  I  tell  ye,  Celebs  can  preach  ; 
he's  got  religion,  sense  and  power  all  in  him." 

Philip  felt  somewhat  discomfited,  but  desiring  it 
should  not  be  noticed,  he  said : 

"Brother  Celebs  is  commencing  housekeeping 
for  the  first  time,  and  arranged  for  me  to  fill  his 
appointments  this  week." 

"That's  the  way;  when  preachers  get  married 
they  have  to  take  the  time  that  belongs  to  the  cir- 
cuit to  look  after  their  wives,  and  get  somebody 
else  to  fill  their  appointments.  But  I'll  bet  Celebs 
'11  make  it  go  right  when  he  gets  his  wife  settled 
wunst.  Who  did  he  marry  ?  Is  she  a  young  flirt 


7O  THE  Two   CIRCUITS. 

of  a  thing,  or  is  she  the  kind  of  a  wife  for  a 
preacher?" 

"From  my  short  acquaintance  with  her,  I  think 
she  will  make  him  an  excellent  wife.  She  appears 
to  be  in  every  way  worthy  of  him." 

"  I'm  glad  o'  that,  for  Celebs  is  one  of  my  sort 
of  men.  Now,  to  cut  a  long  story  short,  I  want 
to  know,  Brother  Force,  whether  you  can  come  up 
to  our  school  house  and  preach  to-night?  It  won't 
do  to  disappoint  them  altogether.  You're  not  just 
the  man  I  expected,  but  I  guess  we'll  have  to  take 
you  this  time.  Ours  is  not  a  regular  appointment ; 
you  needn't  expect  nothing  fine ;  we're  backwoods 
sort  o'  folks,  but  we  turn  out  to  preaching  like  bees 
a-swarming. " 

' '  As  I  am  not  the  man  you  expected,  you  had 
better  withdraw  the  appointment.  If  I  were  to  go, 
it  would  disappoint  your  audience  as  much  as  if  I 
should  stay  away." 

"Well,  well,  now  you  don't.  You  must  come, 
Brother  Force  ;"  and  Squillip  threw  all  the  elements 
of  persuasion  and  apology  into  his  manner  that  he 
was  capable.  "You  can  leave  your  horse  here, 
and  go  up  in  my  wagon.  You  don't  mind  ridin'  in 
a  wagon,  do  ye?  I  think  we'll  have  a  good  time." 

"I  would  not  hesitate  to  go  if  I  thought  I  could 
be  of  any  service  to  your  people." 

"Come  and  try  us  on  wunst,  and  then  you'll 
know:  seed's  believin',  and  doin's  the  solid  truth. 


AT  WIDOW  MAGULTY'S.  71 

I'll  bring  you  back  in  my  wagon  in  the  morning,  in 
time  for  preaching  here.  Come  ahead ;  it's  getting 
late." 

Mrs.  Magulty  announced  that  supper  was  ready, 
and  that  they  must  eat  before  starting.  And 
Squillip  observed : 

"It's  as  cheap  eatin'  now  as  anytime;  mebby 
we  won't  have  a  better  chance.  Let's  set  by  and 
take  a  bite,  Brother-  Force ;  Mrs.  Magulty's  a 
mighty  good  cook." 

"My  daughters  do  the  cooking,  Brother  Squil- 
lip."  ' 

"That's  all  the  same;  they  wouldn't  a  knowed 
how  if  you  hadn't  showed  'em.  So,  you  see,  I'm 
right  yet." 

Zephaniah  sat  at  one  end  of  the  table,  and  his 
mother  at  the  other ;  Squill-ip  and  the  preacher  on 
one  side,  and  the  two  girls  opposite.  The  blessing 
was  scarcely  asked,  when  Zeph.  led  off  in  conver- 
ration. 

"That's  a  dreadful  wicked  filly  o'  yourn,  Mr. 
Force.  I  took  her  down  to  the  hoss-lot  to  water, 
and  the  calves  come  up  behind  her,  and  she  kicked 
one  of  'em  about  a  rod,  and  it  lay  wigglin'  its  feet 
and  wallin'  its  eyes  till  I  thought  the  thing  was 
goin'  to  peg  out  After  a  bit,  it  got  up,  and  moped 
o.'T  like  it  had  the  milk-sick.  And  jist  as  I  was 
goin'  in  the  stable,  my  two  hound  pups  come  a 
howlin'  close  up  behind  her,  and  she  tuck  one  of 


72  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

'em  a  rap  on  the  ribs  that  stretched  him,  and  put 
him  past  howlin'  for  more'n  a  minute.  When  I  got 
her  in  the  stable,  the  old  sorrel  mare  come  a 
smellin'  around  her,  and  the  filly  grabbed  her  by 
the  side,  and  when  her  teeth  jerked  off  it  cracked 
like  a  pistol,  and  you  might  a-heard  the  old  mar' 
squeal  a  mile.  I  got  a  pole,  and  lammed  her  till 
she  squatted  and  trembled,  and  I  thought  she  was 
tamed  down  some.  But  when  I  went  to  unbuckle 
the  saddle,  she  snapped  me  by  the  seat  o'  my 
pants,  and  histed  me  about  a  foot.  I  thought  I 
was  cotched  in  a  flyin'  steel-trap,  and  yel-led  wuss'n 
the  old  mar',  and  thought  of  the  swingin'  heretics 
in  the  Book  o'  Martyrs." 

"Did  she  hurt  you  much,  Zephaniah  ?"  said 
Mrs.  Magulty,  soothingly. 

"Hurt?  Humph.!  I  feel  like  she's  tuck  a  half- 
pound  out  o'  me.  I'll  bet  I'll  carry  the  print  of 
her  teeth  for  a  year.  I  feel  like  I  was  setting  on  a 
flax-hackel,  and  weighed  two  hundred  pounds." 

There  was  a  hearty  laugh  over  the  relation  of  his 
mishaps ;  and  with  a  mingled  expression  of  laugh- 
ing and  pouting,  he  replied  : 

"It  may  be  fun  to  you,  but  it's  not  to  me ;  I'm 
nearly  bit  to  the  bone." 

And  they  all  laughed  the  louder. 

After  hastily  disposing  of  the  supper,  Squillip 
prevailed  on  the  two  girls  to  go  with  him  and 
Philip  to  the  meeting  at  his  school  house.  They 


AT  WIDOW  MAGULTY'S.  73 

hurried  to  an  adjoining  room,  and  Philip  overheard 
a  dialogue  something  like  this : 

"Hadn't  I  better  take  off  these  artificials  from 
my  bonnet?  Our  preacher  may  not  like  them." 

"  I  think  you  had  ;  both  of  you.  I  never  wanted 
you  to  spend  your  money  for  the  things." 

"  Jane  can  take  hers  off,  if  she  wants  to,  but  I'll 
not  do  it.  If  the  preacher  don't  like  them,  he 
needn't  look  at  them.  I  like  them,  and  intend  to 
wear  them,  unless  you  command  me  to  take  them 
off,  mother." 

"I'll  not  do  that  Julia;  only  I  thought  it  might 
be  more  becoming  while  the  preacher  was  here." 

"  Well,  I'm  not  around  trying  to  be  becoming  to 
preachers.  Hurry  off  your  artificials,  Jane,  and 
let's  go;  they're  waiting  for  us.  You'll  take  the 
preacher's  eye,  you  look  so  plain  and  pious." 

In  a  few  minutes  the  girls  returned,  ready  for  the 
ride.  Zeph.,  who  was  sitting  with  half-suppressed 
contortions  of  pain  in  the  cushioned  rocking-chair, 
as  soon  as  he  saw  the  girls,  exclaimed  : 

"Go  it,  Jane;  pulled  off  artificials  and  brass  lace, 
eh  ?  Getting  mighty  pious  all  at  once  !" 

Jane  colored,  and  looked  to  see  if  Philip  had 
noticed  her  brother's  remark ;  but  he  appeared  to 
be  oblivious  to  his  raillery. 


74  THE  Two   CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

MISHAPS. 

A  rough  plank  lay  across  the  wagon  bed,  imme- 
diately above  the  front  wheels,  which  was  occupied 
as  a  seat,  by  Squillip  and  Force.  Back  of  this, 
were  placed  two  split-bottomed  chairs  for  the  girls. 
Soon  the  four  were  all  aboard ;  and  Squillip  took 
up  his  rope  reins,  and  hit  his  horses  with  a  long  ha- 
zel switch,  and  started  in  a  slow  trot.  These  horses 
were  matches;  having  white  faces  and  feet;  and 
were  otherwise  the  color  of  a  dusty  Milwaukee  brick. 
Their  tails  were  long  and  bunchy,  and,  collectively, 
contained  a  half  peck  of  cockle-burs  and  Spanish- 
needles,  irregularly  woven  in.  Their  hip  bones 
were  high  and  prominent,  and  their  backs  were 
curved  upwards,  till  they  neared  the  withers,  and 
the  joints  thereof  could  be  seen  from  a  remote  dis- 
tance. The  ribs  seemed  ready  to  come  to  the  light 
at  any  moment,  and  yet  they  appeared  to  press  in- 
wardly. Their  bodies  and  necks  were  lank  and 
slender,  and  their  legs  and  heads  disproportionately 
large.  Their  manes  were  jumbled  into  all  manner 
of  coils  and  knots,  and  irregular  complications,  and 
were  matted  and  cemented  with  innumerable  prick- 
les, barbs,  thistles  and  burs,  branching  around  in 


MISHAPS.  75 

notches,  forks  and  jagged,  wedge-shaped  tufts,  look- 
ing as  if  they  had  been  daubed  with  mortar,  to 
make  the  contents  permanent. 

One  of  these  horses  was  blind  in  his  left  eye, 
and  the  other  was  blind  in  both.  Their  ears  droop- 
ed and  flapped  about,  like  mullen  leaves  in  a  storm. 
The  bits,  and  a  single  rope,  extending  therefrom 
over  the  tops  of  the  horses'  heads,  formed  the  bri- 
dles ;  and  as  intimated,  the  reins  were  of  the  same 
material.  The  remainder  of  the  harness,  all  told, 
consisted  of  collars  and  hames,  trace  and  breast 
chains. 

As  there  were  no  arrangements  for  holding  back, 
the  wagon  would  run  against  the  horses'  heels  every 
time  they  went  down  hill.  But  the  hills  were  gen- 
tle in  their  slopes,  and  could  hardly  be  called  hills, 
so  the  horses  seemed  to  regard  the  wagon  running 
against  them  as  rather  a  luxury. 

"I'm  afeered  we'll  be  late ; — (git  up  !) — but  they'll 
be  no  meetin'  till  we  get  there.  I'm  afeered  no- 
body '11  think  to  bring  candles.  (G'lang !)  Is  this 
your  first  circuit,  Brother  Force?" 

"Yes,  sir,"  said  Philip,  his  sympathy  going  out 
for  the  horses. 

' '  Well,  this  trip  '11  help  break  ye  in.  (Get  up, 
there,  Ball !)  There's  not  many  members  up  to  our 
school  house ;  only  two  or  three  of  us ;  and  we've 
got  no  society  formed  yet ;  but  we  hope  we'll  have 
a  good  time  this  year,  and  get  a  good  start. 


/6  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

(G'lang,  there,  what  ye  mean,  Bull  and  Bounce  !) 
There's  all  sorts  o'  denominations  in  our  set- 
tlement: Campbellites,  Hard-Shell  Baptists,  Mis- 
sionary Baptists,  and  a  few  Presbyterians; — (g'lang, 
there,  what  ye  doin' !) — but  there's  no  regular 
preachin',  excep'  by  the  Methodist.  Now  and 
then  a  Campbellite,  or  Hard-Shell,  comes  along ; — 
(get  away,  there !) — the  Hard-Shell  preaches  on 
predestination,  and  the  Campbellite  on  immersion  ; 
and  we  want  to  keep  up  Methodist  meetin's  to 
preach  the  gospel  to  'em.  (Get  up,  ye  lazy 
whelps  !V 

It  was  dark  before  the  school  house  was  reached. 
And  as  Squillip  lived  a  mile  further  on,  and  it  was 
now  nearly  time  for  service,  it  was  deemed  expe- 
dient to  stop. 

About  one  square  acre  had  been  left  out  of  the 
corner  of  a  large  field  as  a  block  for  educational 
purposes ;  and  on  it  was  built  this  school  house, 
"  free  for  all  denominations. "  It  was  close  to  the 
edge  of  the  woodland,  and  was  built  of  round  logs, 
and  covered  with  clapboards.  The  door-latch  and 
handle  were  of  wood,  and  so  were  the  hinges.  The 
floor  was  of  puncheons,  dressed  with  an  ax,  and 
fastened  to  log  sleepers  with  wooden  pins.  A  log 
was  cut  out,  nearly  the  whole  length  of  the  building, 
on  each  side,  for  the  admission  of  light,  and  paper 
was  pasted  over  the  place,  and  made  half-way  trans- 
parent by  a  liberal  application  of  lard.  The  seats 


MISHAPS.  77 

were  made  of  smooth,  broad  rails,  supported  by 
legs  of  saplings,  as  thick  as  your  wrist.  An  aisle, 
three  feet  wide,  extended  from  the  door  to  the 
other  end  of  the  room ;  and  in  the  middle  of  it 
was  the  ten-plate  stove,  heated  several  degrees  be- 
yond the  demands  of  comfort.  The  indispensable 
water-bucket,  with  its  long-handled  gourd,  sat  on  a 
bench  behind  the  door.  Numerous  pegs  were 
sticking  in  the  logs  all  around  the  room,  and  were 
occupied  with  bonnets  and  hats.  There  was  no 
light  in  the  house,  except  what  gleamed  through 
the  cracks  around  the  stove-door,  and  the  meagre 
supply  of  greased  moonshine  that  struggled  through 
one  of  the  paper  windows. 

Mr.  Squillip  made  inquiries  of  several  persons 
concerning  candles  ;  no  one  had  thought  of  bring- 
ing them  ;  it  was  evident  that  all  present  expected 
him  to  furnish  all  such  accommodations.  A  half- 
grown  boy  was  finally  induced  to  go  to  the  nearest 
neighbor,  a  quarter  of  a  mile  away,  and  procure  a 
supply. 

While  they  were  seated  in  the  dark,  more  than 
half  the  congregation  visited  the  water- bucket;  and 
run  in  and  out,  keeping  the  hinges  creaking  con- 
stantly. When  they  came  in  from  the  cool 
atmosphere,  they  would  run  and  stand  close  to  the 
stove,  and  spit  on  it  with  gusto  and  vigor,  amusing 
themselves  with  the  music  of  boiling  saliva. 


7 8  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

One  old  lady,  with  a  sunbonnet  of  prodigious 
foreground,  sat  in  front  of  the  stove,  where  the 
light  gleamed  the  strongest,  and  with  spectacles  on 
her  nose,  was  busily  employed  knitting  a  coarse 
woolen  sock.  Two  or  three  others  were  afterwards 
discovered,  making  the  same  restless  effort  to  blend 
business  with  devotion.  Philip  thought  of  the 
admonition  of  the  Apostle,  "Diligent  in  business, 
fervent  in  spirit,"  and  so  forth. 

At  the  far  end  of  the  aisle  was  a  tottering,  batter- 
ed, whittled,  ink-bespattered,  old  table.  It  looked 
as  if  its  top  had  been  the  side  of  a  goods-box,  and 
its  legs,  bean-poles.  Behind  the  table,  and  next 
the  wall,  was  an  old  split-bottomed  chair,  with  the 
back  broken.  And,  between  the  table  and  the 
stove,  lay  two  large  yellow  dogs,  lounging  in  a 
state  of  profound  composure. 

At  last  the  candles  arrived  ;  but  when  the  youth 
unrolled  the  paper  containing  them,  it  was  discov- 
ered that,  somewhere  on  the  journey,  all  the 
candles  had  slipped  out,  save  one.  After  some 
consultation,  it  was  determined  that  the  lone  candle 
should  be  placed  on  the  table  for  the  accommoda- 
tion of  the  preacher.  A  further  question  arose,  as 
to  how  to  make  it  maintain  its  perpendicular.  The 
schoolmaster,  who  assumed  to  be  a  sort  of  master 
of  ceremonies,  and  who  claimed  to  be  familiar  with 
geometry,  cut  square  off  the  lower  end  of  the  can- 
dle, and  then  lit  the  small  end,  and  held  the  candle 


MISHAPS.  79 

over  on  its  side  till  there  had  dropped  from  its 
blazing  end  on  the  table  a  puddle  of  melted  tallow, 
and  in  that  puddle  he  held  the  flat  end ;  and  in  a 
few  seconds,  sure  enough,  the  light  stood  erect,  and 
the  exercises  proceeded. 

The  preaching  had  been  going  on  about  ten  min- 
utes, when  one  of  the  dogs,  lying  between  the 
table  and  the  stoVe,  concluding  it  would  add  to  his 
comfort  to  stretch,  rolled  over  against  the  ricketty 
table,  which  caused  such  a  tottering  of  its  bean-pole 
legs  that  it  fell,  leaving  the  house  in  total  darkness, 
excepting  a  few  rays  from  the  stove-door,  and  the 
faint  effort  of  greased  moonshine  mentioned  above. 

While  efforts  were  being  made  for  a  re-illumina- 
tion, Philip,  remembering  that  "darkness  and 
silence  were  twin  sisters,"  seated  himself  in  the 
broken-backed  chair,  and  meditated  in  a  desultory 
way,  as  follows: 

"  'Darkness  and  silence  are  twin  sisters.'  That 
may  be  poetry,  but  is  not  true  at  all  times. 
Darkness  is  here,  silence  is  not.  Wolves  howl  in 
the  dark,  and  are  answered  by  defiant  dogs,  cats, 
frogs  and  katy-dids.  Owls  hoot  and  screech  in  the 
dark.  Night  is  the  time  for  revelry  and  dissipation, 
curtain-lectures,  tears  and  hysterics ;  for  elope- 
ments and  lunacy ;  for  treason,  strategems  and 
spoils,  assassinations,  robbery  and  crime ;  the  time 
for  conscience  to  sit  in  judgment;  the  busy  day 
had  drowned  its  voice,  but  in  the  dark  its  grim, 


8o  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

rebuHng  face  makes  the  guilty  tremble.  Fires 
burn  wilder  and  fiercer  in  the  night,  and  lightning, 
flood  and  thunder  are  more  terrible.  Night-mares, 
witches,  spectres,  ghosts  and  goblins  glory  in  the 
night ;  plagues  and  pestilence  triumph ;  gates  and 
signs  are  stolen,  and  tricks  are  played  on  solemn 
professors.  Night  is  the  time  for  rioters,  mobs  and 
burglars  to  rifle,  waste  and  destroy ;  the  time  when 
cars  are  wrecked,  and  vessels  are  lost  at  sea.  If 
darkness  and  silence  are  twin  sisters,  they  often 
travel  separately.  Then,  we  must  allow  that  dark- 
ness has  a  bright  and  quiet  side.  Those  who  have 
a  quiet  conscience,  and  have  not  plowed  the  sloughs 
of  vice,  may  say,  that  night  is  'reason's  reign  and 
virtue's  too;'  when  the  smile  of  heaven  is  over  the 
slumbering  world ;  when  the  vast  majority  have, 
for  hours,  the  negative  side  of  piety,  doing  no  harm. 
They  may  say,  that  darkness  is  God's  curtain,  by 
which  he  shades  the  couch  of  his  sleeping  children ; 
the  time  when  care  is  gone,  and  thoughts  are  folded 
as  peacefully  as  flowers  waiting  for  the  morning ; 
the  time  when  man  can  commune  with  his  own 
heart  and  be  still ;  when  wayward  impulses  are 
checked,  when  pride  learns  its  nothingness,  when 
the  Infinite  Father  seems  nearer,  than  in  the  rough 
strife  and  struggle  of  the  day._  The  sun,  like  some 
mighty  arch-angel  in  his  brightness,  confounds 
and  overwhelms  me  with  his  sublimity.  I  stand 
abashed  in  his  presence ;  but  the  stars  and  moon, 


MISHAPS.  8 1 

like  gentle  seraphim,  would  kindly  lead  toward 
God." 

While  Philip  thus  soliloquized,  the  bustling 
schoolmaster  had  re-lit  the  candle,  and  studied  its 
possibilities,  and  took  out  his  three-bladed  knife, 
and  run  one  of  the  small  blades  through  the  candle, 
near  the  lower  end,  and  then  half-opened  the  big 
blade  and  thrust  it  forcibly  into  the  table,  and  once 
more  the  solitary  light  resumed  its  position  for 
shining,  and  Philip  proceeded  with  his  discourse. 

But  it  was  a  night  of  mishaps,  and  confusion 
seemed  to  reign  defiantly.  For,  as  he  neared  the 
end  of  his  remarks,  a  large,  young  man,  six  feet, 
and  fleshy,  who  occupied  a  seat  before  and  to  the 
right  of  him,  and  who  had  been  intently  regarding, 
with  open  mouth,  all  that  was  said,  was  violently 
seized  with  a  fit,  and  jumped  near  two  feet  high, 
and  threw  back  his  arms  and  head,  and  fell,  froth- 
ing at  the  mouth,  directly  on  the  two  yellow  dogs. 
The  dogs  yelled,  and  bolted  for  the  open  space 
under  the  table.  But  no  sooner  had  they  reached 
this  point  of  fancied  security,  than  the  man  in 
convulsions,  tearing  and  twisting  in  every  muscle, 
kicked  the  table  and  knocked  it  bottom-side  up, 
over  the  dogs.  Their  second  yell  was  worse  than 
the  first,  and  they  disturbed  Philip's  equilibrium  by 
dodging  against  his  legs.  Four  or  five  men  tried  to 
keep  the  floundering  maniac  in  the  neighborhood 
of  propriety,  with  but  ill  success.  For,  as  tV" 


82  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

young  schoolmaster  was  sweeping  the  flo<)r  with  hi 
hands,  searching  for  the  fallen  candle,  one  sweep  ( I 
the  crazy  man's  leg,  moved  by  an  extra  convulsio  \, 
knocked  him  diagonally  upwards  a  few  feet,  causing 
him  to  fall  against  two  or  three  bonnets,  which 
extorted  several  screams  from  female  voices.  When 
it  became  generally  known  that  diligent  search  was 
being  made  for  the  lost  candle,  a  boy,  sitting  before 
the  stove,  exclaimed : 

"I  seed  one  o'  them  'ar  dorgs  go  out  doas  with 
that  'ar  candle  in  his  mouf. " 

While  they  were  waiting  for  the  frantic  six-footer 
to  get  over  his  fit,  some  strong-lunged  disciple  con- 
cluded to  vary  the  exercises,  and  broke  out  singing  : 
"  How  tedious  and  tasteless  the  hours,"  etc. 

The  hymn  and  the  fit  ended  about  the  same  time, 
and  Philip,  having  lost  the  spirit  of  prophecy  for 
the  evening,  arose  and  pronounced  the  benediction, 
and  started  with  Squillip  for  his  night's  resting 
place. 


SQUILLIP  AND  THE  GIRLS.  85 


CHAPTER  IX. 

SQUILLIP  AND   THE   GIRLS. 

Gossamer 'clouds  were  flitting  over  the  path  of 
the  moon.  Dogs  were  jubilant  over  the  prospect 
of  returning  home.  Young  men  were  busy  select- 
ing the  partners  they  desired  to  see  over  the  way. 
Here  and  there  one  had  received  the  mitten  as  a 
reward  for  his  intended  gallantry.  There  were 
young  men  on  horses,  and  young  men  afoot ;  and 
young  women  to  mate  them.  There  were  girls  in 
groups,  and  young  men  in  the  same  condition  ;  and 
each  group  was  desirous  of  mingling  with  the  other, 
and  both  were  kept  from  each  other  by  bashful- 
ness. 

On  the  way  home,  Squillip  was  in  superior  spir- 
its, as  if  all  the  events  of  the  evening  had  been  a 
success ;  in  fact,  the  ludicrous  circumstances  of  the 
occasion  added  to  his  enjoyment.  But,  by  way  of 
apology  for  the  mishaps,  he  remarked  : 

"Now,  Brother  Force,  if  it  hadn't  been  for  that 
'ar  fit,  we'd  a'  had  a  good  meetin' ;  and,  to  my 
mind,  it  was  a  good  meetin'  as  'twas.  (Go  long, 
Ball!)  But  I  couldn't  help  thinkin'  old  Blogus 
ought  'o  kept  that  son  o'  his'n  at  home,  when  he 
knows  he  has  fits  so.  It  looks  to  me,  he's  more 


86  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

fits  at  meetin'   than  anywhere  else.       (Get  away, 
there,  laziness!)" 

Philip  answered  in  monosyllables,  seldom  further 
than  "yes"  or  "no;"  for  he  felt  subdued,  and 
dissatisfied  with  himself  and  the  rest  of  the  world, 
and  regarded  his  effort  as  a  failure.  The  Misses 
Magulty,  on  the  contrary,  were  abundant  in  words 
and  laughter. 

"I  don't  think  Mr.  Force  will  want  to  come  up 
to  your  place  to  preach  again,  where  candles  are  so 
scarce,  and  dogs  and  fits  so  plenty." 

"Oh,  well,  now,  Sister  Jane,"  said  Squillip, 
"you  know,  'twas  an  accident  that  we  didn't  have 
plenty  o'  candles.  Jo  Bates,  I  guess,  must  a'  been 
thinking  of  some  o'  you  girls,  so  he  let  all  the  can- 
dles slip  out  of  the  paper.  He  had  plenty  to  light 
the  whole  house  when  he  started  from  Blyrix'es. 
(What  are  ye  doin',  Ball  and  Bounce  !)" 

By  this  time  the  hazel  switch  was  far  worn  awaj- 
by  its  frequent  and  violent  application  upon  the  dry 
bones  of  the  poor  horses. 

"Just  such  another  night  of  accidents  and  I'd 
die  laughing,"  said  Julia. 

"  If  laughing  could  have  killed  you,"  said  Squil- 
lip, "you'd  been  dead  long  'go;  you're  always 
laughing.  (G'lang,  ye  brutes  !)" 

"No,  we're  not,  said  Julia;  "but  I'd  defy  any- 
one to  keep  from  laughing  at  such  performances  as 
we  were  treated  to  to-night.  It  was  almost  equal 


SQUILLIP  AND  THE  GIRLS.  87 

to  a  monkey  show.  If  I  were  Mr.  Force,  the  next 
time  I  preached  here  I'd  do  it  in  the  day  time,  and 
keep  big  men  subject  to  spasms,  and  great  dogs, 
out  of  the  congregation.  Mercy,  I  shall  laugh 
every  time  I  think  of  Bill  Blogus  kicking  the  pert 
little  schoolmaster,  who  looked  as  if  he  was  playing 
leap-frog  over  those  girls'  bonnets.  Sue  Jinks  and 
Kate  Miler  had  just  got  theirs  from  Doubletown, 
as  full  of  starch  as  a  pasteboard,  and  covered  with 
artificials ; — that  teacher  smashed  both  of  them  as 
if  they  had  been  tramped  on.  I  wouldn't  give  two- 
bits  for  both  of  'em  ;  they're  ruined.  I  thought  we 
had  hard  enough  times  in  meeting,  at  our  house, 
but  vie  give  in  to  your  school  house,  Mr.  Squillip." 

"I  call  this  a  first-rate  meetin' ; — (g'lang,  Ball!) 
— you  can't  expect  to  have  everything  go  like 
clock-work  in  a  new  country,  where  we've  not  got 
fairly  started  yet.  (G'lang  !)  Nothing's  no  account 
if  you  have  no  trouble  to  get  it.  The  gospel's  bet- 
ter to  me  than  it  is  to  some  folks,  because  I've 
trouble  to  get  it.  (Get-ep  !)" 

"I  shall  always  look  on  you,  then,  as  one  of  the 
greatest  lovers  of  the  gospel  I  know  of,"  said  Julia. 

"I  like  it,  sure.  Here's  the  place  I  stay;  get 
out,  girls.  You  take  Brother  Force  in,  and  I'll  put 
up  the  hosses." 

Philip  and  the  Misses  Magulty  climbed  the  rail 
fence,  before  the  door,  and  rapped  for  admittance. 


88  THE  Two    CIRCUITS. 

The  clouds   had  become  heavy,  and   it  was  quite 
dark. 

"  Go  right  in,"  said  Squillip,  in  a  loud  voice; 
"don't  wait  for  ceremonies;  I  s'pect  my  wife's  in 
bed." 

The  girls  pulled  the  latch-string  and  walked  in, 
while  Philip  loitered  without. 

' '  Who's  thar  ?     'S  that  you,  Jake  ?" 
•    "No,  ma'am;  it's  Jane  and  Julia  Magulty,   and 
the  preacher,  Mr.  Force.      Mr.   Squillip  will  be  in 
as  soon  as  he  puts  up  the  horses." 

"Well,  I'm  glad  to  see  you  all." 

Philip  wondered  how  Mrs.  Squillip  could  consist- 
ently make  such  remark,  when  there  was  no  light 
within,  and  you  could  scarcely  see  your  hand  before 
your  face. 

"If  I'd  knowed  you  was  comin',  I  would  have 
set  up,  but  I  was  awful  tired,  with  a  big  day's 
washin',  and  went  to  bed  early.  You'll  find  a  lamp 
on  the  table  there,  girls." 

The  girls  knocked  over  two  or  three  chairs,  or 
stools,  in  their  search .  for  the  lamp,  and  uttered 
some  indistinct  exclamations,  which  referred  to 
blows  received  about  the  knees. 

"What  kind  of  lamp  is  it,  Mrs.  Squillip?"  said 
Jane,  feeling  and  scraping  over  the  table. 

"Why,  we're  out  o'  candles;  I  had  to  make  a 
lamp  out  of  a  saucer." 

Jane  finally  succeded  in  running  her  whole  hand 


SQUILLIP  AND  THE  GIRLS.  89 

into  the  saucer-lamp,  in  the  soft  lard,  which  brought 
from  her  a  few  smothered  interjections  upon  the 
subject  of  grease,  and  spoiled  dresses.  She  took 
the  home-made  lamp,  and  stooped  down  and 
scraped  away  the  ashes  which  covered  the  fire,  and 
commenced  blowing  against  a  large  coal,  while  she 
held  the  wick  to  the  place  where  she  expected  the 
blaze  to  break  out.  Jane  ventilated  herself'  by 
rolling  out  innumerable  blasts  upon  the  obstinate 
coal  till  the  tears  ran  from  her  eyes  and  her  head 
reeled  with  vertigo.  *  With  hardly  enough  breath 
left  to  speak,  she  exclaimed  : 

"  Come,  Jule,  and  blow  at  this  coal ;  I'm  blowed 
out!" 

Julia  came  to  the  work  with  great  bellow's  power, 
for  her  lungs  were  capacious  enough  to  send  out  a 
small  tornado.  The  rag-wick  soon  ignited ;  the 
room  was  illuminated,  and^Philip  walked  in,  accom- 
panied by  Squillip,  who  by  this  time  had  turned  out 
his  horses. 

The  house  was  a  log  cabin,  with  a  lean-to*  in 
front,  and  a  lean-to  in  the  rear ;  both  of  which 
lean-tos  were  half  porch  and  half  bedroom.  The 
main  room  was  occupied  as  parlor,  sitting-room, 
dining-room,  kitchen,  bedroom,  milk-house,  pan- 
try, wardrobe,  laundry,  nursery,  reading-room,  and 
for  sundry  other  uses,  too  numerous  to  mention  ; 
and  the  garret,  or  loft,  served  for  another  bedroom, 
and  store-room  generally. 
7 


90  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

Squillip  pulled  off  his  home-made  jeans  coat 
and  vest,  and  hung  them  on  the  unpainted  and 
unvarnished  bed-post,  and  hung  his  straw  hat  over 
the  top  of  the  coat ;  and  pulled  off  his  cowhide 
shoes,  and  kicked  them  under  the  bed ;  and  the 
woolen  socks  were  sent  after  them ;  and  his  feet 
were  left  bare,  excepting  a  few  irregular  traces  of 
free  soil.  He  seated  himself  on  an  old  split- 
bottomed  chair,  and  thrust  his  long  fingers  through 
his  hair,  and  placed  his  feet  on  the  lower  chair- 
round,  and  leaned  his  back  against  the  log  wall, 
close  by  the  bed  where  his  wife  lay. 

"Brother  Force,  won't  you  and  the  girls  have 
somethin'  more  in  the  supper  line  ?  Some  preachers 
always  eat  after  preachin'.  Judy,  are  there  any 
victuals  left?" 

' '  Yes,  a-plenty  ;  I  sot  the  coffee-pot  there  in  the 
embers  to  keep  hot,  and  you'll  find  cook'd  truck  on 
the  shelf  there,"  said  Mrs.  Squillip. 

"  I  thank  you,  I  have  no  desire  to  eat  any  more 
to-night ;  the  young  ladies  can  speak  for  them- 
selves,"  said  Phillip. 

"We  would  choose  nothing  more,  thank  you, " 
replied  the  girls. 

"What  kind  of  a  meeting  did  you  have  to-night?" 
said  Mrs.  Squillip. 

' '  All  sorts  of  a  good  meeting,  Judy ;  and  would 
a'  had  a  jam  up  meeting  if  it  hadn't  been  for  Bill 
Blogus  goin'  and  takin'  a  fit. " 


SQUILLIP  AND  THE  GIRLS.  91 

"Mr.  Squillip,  you  forgot  about  the  dogs,  the 
candle  and  the  schoolmaster,"  observed  Julia. 

"Oh,  that's  not  much  for  us. " 

"  Was  poor  Bill  Blogus  there  with  his  fits  again  ?" 
said  Judy.  "Old  Blogus  ought  to  keep  him  at 
home,  and  not  let  him  run  around  time  o'  preach- 
ing, and  havin'  fits,  when  other  people  want  to 
listen.  But  it  seems  onpossible  for  some  folks  to 
be  considerate." 

"Well,"  said  Squillip,  as  if  he  was  half-way 
talking  to  himself,  "the  sermon  did  me  a  heap  o' 
good,  in  spite  of  fits  and  dogs.  I'm  not  goin'  to 
let  such  little  things  spile  my  enjoyment,  sure." 

"I  don't  think,"  said  Julia,  "that  those  dogs 
and  Bill  Blogus  were  little  things,  the  way  they  car- 
ried on  to-night.  Those  dogs  ought  to  have  been 
kicked  out  of  doors  before  meeting  begun  ;  and,  as 
Mrs.  Squillip  says,  old  Blogus  ought  to  have  more 
sense  than  to  let  Bill  come  there." 

"Well,  well,  if  you'd  been  thinkin'  more  of 
things  above  than  of  things  below,  you'd  not  a' 
been  so  terrible  bothered  about  them  matters,"  said 
Squillip. 

"  You  are  just  like  my  mother,  Mr.  Squillip  ;  you 
insist  that  we  always  ought  to  be  thinking  of  things 
above.  My  idea  is,  that  we  will  think  of  what  we 
have  most  to  do  with  ;  of  what  we  see  and  hear  and 
feel  the  most.  God  made  our  eyes  to  see,  our 
ears  to  hear,  and  our  senses  to  feel,  so  I  don't 


92  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

think  there's  any  great  harm  thinking  of  earthly 
things,  especially  when  we  don't  know  much  about 
anything  else." 

"But  the  right  way,  Julie,  is,  when  you  go  to 
meeting,  to  think  about  heavenly  things. " 

"  I  will,  when  there's  any  heavenly  things  there  to 
think  about ;  but  when  the  only  candle  in  the  house 
goes  out  twice ,  and  boys  and  men  spit  tobacco 
juice  over  the  stove  till  you  are  sick  with  the  flavor ; 
and  dogs  and  fits,  and  the  leap-frog  schoolmaster, 
cut  such  ridiculous  figures  at  meeting,  I  hope  we'll 
be  excusable  for  not  being  very  heavenly-minded." 

"Them's  my  sentiments,  Jule, "  said  Mrs.  Squil- 
lip. 

.  "  But,  Julie,  religion  was  designed  to  raise  the 
mind  above  this  world,  and  if  you'd  a'  had  more 
of  it,  you'd  not  a'  been  so  wonderful  disturbed  over 
these  small  hindrances." 

' '  You  and  I  differ,  Mr.  Squillip ;  I  believe  relig- 
ion was  designed  to  make  us  enjoy  this  world,  and 
esteem  whatever  of  true  and  beautiful  there  is  in  it, 
and  does  not  prevent  us  from  being  disgusted  with 
its  deformities,  or  amused  with  its  nonsense." 

"Ah,  Julie,  that's  some  of  the  book  ferlosophy 
you  learned  down  to  the  Macademy. " 

"  I  do  not  know  what  particular  philosophy  there 
may  be  in  it ;  I  think  it  is  simply  common  sense 
and  truth.  Just  as  I  became  interested  with  parts 
of  the  discourse,  and  was  entertained  and  instructed, 


SQUILLIP  AND  THE  GIRLS.  93 

that  dog  knocked  the  candle  over ;  but  I  got  over 
that,  and  was  listening  attentively  and  profitably, 
when  out  broke  the  fit,  and  the  schoolmaster  went 
kiting  over  those  girls'  bonnets,  and  the  dog  run  off 
with  the  candle.  For  the  life  of  me,  I  couldn't 
help  thinking  of  the  old  rhyme — 

« Hie  diddle,  diddle, 
The  cat's  in  the  fiddle, 

And  the  cow  jumped  over  the  moon, 
And  the  little  dog  laughed  to  see  the  sport, 

Of  the  dish  run  away  with  the  spoon.' 

Mercy  on  us,  it  was  too  much  for  my  nerves ;  I 
laughed  till  I  was  sore." 

Philip  laughed  heartily  over  Julia's  practical  illus- 
tration, it  being  his  first  free  laugh  for  the  evening. 
Mrs.  Squillip  shook  her  bed  with  a  perfect  jubilee 
of  giggles,  roars  and  titters  ;  and  something  far  in 
advance  of  a  quiet  smile  played  over  the  features  of 
her  husband.  But,  as  if  to  check  what  he  feared 
might  be  a  carnal  outburst  of  nature,  he  remarked : 

"Didn't  your  conscience  hurt  you,  Julie,  for 
laffin'  in  meetin'  ?" 

"No,  sir;  it  didn't  hurt  me  a  particle.  I  think 
the  laughing  did  me  good ;  it  settled  my  nerves  at 
any  rate.  Before  I  laughed,  I  felt  uneasy  and  dis- 
tressed over  the  mishaps  of  the  -evening,  but  when  I 
had  a  good  hearty  laugh,  my  nervousness  quieted 
down,  and  I  felt  far  better,  if  I  don't  feel  more 
religious." 


94  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"Yes,  yes,  so  we  go.  I  never  heard  you  talk- 
about  nerves  till  you  went  to  the  Macademy ;  and 
as  nerves  seem  to  be  a  powerful  misery  to  folks,  I 
hope  they'll  not  teach  'em  to  my  daughters,  if  ever 
they  goes  there.  I'm  opposed  to  their  goin',  but 
the  old  woman  wants  them  to  be  like  other  folks, 
and  is  determined  bound  they  shall  go  ;  and,  after 
they've  been  there  a  while,  they'll  come  home  dis- 
contented with  their  log  cabin,  and  live  growlin' 
and  miserable  the  rest  of  their  days, — poor  and 
proud,  like  the  old  woman's  peacock.  But  I  guess 
ye're  all  tired  and  want  to  go  to  bed.  Judy, 
where'll  they  all  sleep  ?" 


UPS  AND  DOWNS. 


CHAPTER  X. 

UPS  AND  DOWNS. 

'•  You'll  have  to  put  Brother  Force  in  the  front 
bed  room,  and  the  girls  up  loft,  or  Brother  Force 
up  loft  and  the  girls  in  the  front  bed  room,  which 
ever  they'd  ruther;  for  Jerry  Spildick  is  sleepin' 
with  our  Mose  in  the  back  bed  room,"  said  Mrs. 
Squillip. 

"  It  will  probably  be  more  convenient  for  the 
young  ladies  to  occupy  the  bed  room,  and  if  so,  I 
will  go  to  the  loft,"  said  Philip. 

"Come  ahead  then,"  and  Squillip  took  the  sau- 
cer lamp  and  began  climbing  a  very  steep  ladder 
in  one  corner  of  the  cabin.  "  Can  you  climb  a  lad- 
der, Brother  Force?" 

"I  can  climb  almost  any  thing,  sir,  intended  for 
that  purpose."  And  Phillip  commenced  rapidly 
following  Mr.  Squillip.  As  his  head  was  passing 
through  the  hole,  at  the  top,  it  went  too  far,  and 
his  hat,  was  smashed  against  the  clapboard  .roof, 
which  was  nearer  the  upper  end  of  the  ladder  than 
he  supposed.  The  hat  fell  to  the  lower  floor,  scat- 
tering his  postal  and  clerical  papers  about ;  and  the 
shocking  blow  gave  him  a  bewildered  vision  of  the 
starry  heavens.  Julia  ran  and§  gathered  his  papers 


96  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

and  handed  him  his  hat,  expressing  a  hope  that  he 
was  not  seriously  hurt. 

"Thank  you,  I  am  hurt  but  little;  "  at  the  same 
time  his  brain  was  so  whirled  about,  that  he  could 
scarcely  keep  from  falling  from  the  ladder.  Squillip 
made  the  remark  in  a  school-master  tone  : 

' '  Brother  Force,  we  must  learn  to  stoop  a  little, 
in  this  world."  ; 

Philip  made  no  reply,  but  carefully  crawled,  hat 
in  hand,  to  the  upper  floor,  rubbing  the  top  of  his 
head  to  satisfy  himself  that  no  part  of  his  phreno- 
logical territory  had  seceded  from  the  other,  in  the 
cruel  contact. 

"  I'll  hold  the  light  for  ye,  Brother,  while  ye  get 
in  bed." 

Philip  still  maintained  a  stooping  posture,  and 
surveyed  the  sleeping  apartment,  and  concluded  he 
had  taken  its  bearings,  and  calculated  the  distances, 
and  the  varied  relations  of  one  article  of  furniture 
to  another,  and  supposed  that  he  could  deposit  his 
exhausted  frame  in  the  position  for  repose  without 
any  further  illumination  on  the  part  of  Squillip. 

"  I  am  obliged  to  you,  sir,  I  will  not  detain  you 
with  the  lamp  any  longer ;  I  can  manage  very  well 
in  the  dark;  good  night,  Brother  Squillip." 

"Good  night,  Brother  Force;"  and  Squillip  de- 
scended, and  Philip  prepared  to  unrobe.  He  hung 
his  coat  and  vest  on  the  bed-post ;  and  while  he  was 
in  the  act  of  throwing  his  last  suspender  from  his 


THE  PLANK  FLEW  UP  AND  PHJLTP  FLEW  DOWN." 


'  UPS  AND  DOWNS.  97 

shoulder,  he  stepped  a  few  feet  forward,  and  not 
having  calculated  the  nature  of  the  floor,  in  the 
scope  of  his  observations ;  a  few  of  the  plank  being 
short,  did  not  meet  well  over  the  joists,  and  as  he 
placed  his  feet  on  the  ends  thereof,  the  plank  flew 
up  and  Philip  flew  down,  carrying  the  third  part  of 
the  planks  with  him.  His  descent  took  rather  an 
oblique  direction,  and  his  feet  landed  right  upon 
the  body  of  Mrs.  Squillip.  She  screamed  as  if  a 
panther  had  sprung  upon  her,  and  bounded  into  the 
middle  of  the  room.  Jane  was  sitting  close  by  the 
bed,  and  jumped  and  screamed  nearly  as  loud  as 
Mrs.  Squillip.  Squillip  had  seen  him  falling  and 
leaned  against  the  wall,  and  roared  with  laughter, 
and  forgot  his  seriousness,  and  in  a  rollicking 
humor  inquired  of  Philip:  "How  did  you  rest  up 
stairs?" 

Philip  was  not  in  a  mood  for  jocular  remark; 
and  Julia  admonished  Squillip  that  he  had  better 
look  to  things  above ;  that  here  was  a  practical  ne- 
cessity for  him  to  turn  his  thoughts  upward. 

Philip  felt  like  kicking  something,  or  knocking 
some  living  thing  in  the  head ;  but  as  there  was  no 
cat  or  dog  near  by,  he  smothered  his  wrath,  and 
quietly  indulged  in  some  of  the  imprecations  of  the 
Psalms,  where  David  prayeth  against  the  things  that 
conspire  against  him. 

Squillip  again  lighted  him  to  the  rickety  loft ;  the 
planks  were  replaced,  and  Philip,  exhausted  and 


98  THE  Two   CIRCUITS. 

discontented,  lay  down  to  rest.  Shortly  after  he 
had  composed  himself  to  sleep,  and  the  ragged 
edges  of  the  day's  care  were  knitted  around  in 
dreams,  a  storm  of  rain  came  pattering  and  rattling 
on  the  clapboard  roof.  Lightnings  flashed  and 
flamed  through  the  crevices,  between  the  logs, 
around  and  through  the  cracks  between  the  boards 
overhead.  Thunder  shook  the  earth  and  the  walls. 
Angry  winds  roared  and  howled  through  the  innu- 
merable openings,  and  rattled  the  loose  boards,  and 
drove  the  pouring  rain  in  spurts  and  shoots,  and 
little  cataracts,  all  over  the  inside  of  this  log  cabin. 
Philip  was  dreaming  of  water-spouts  and  whirl- 
pools, and  reviewing  his  studies  in  hydraulics ; 
he  dreamed  of  shower  baths,  and  anon  was 
engaged  in  discussing  the  questions  of  sprink- 
ling and  immersion ;  and  in  his  vision  he  was 
fishing  in  a  lake  with  a  net,  as  were  the  disciples 
of  old,  and  like  them  was  about  to  be  wreck- 
ed in  a  storm  at  sea.  And  as  time  and  space  count 
but  little  in  dreams,  in  a  moment  he  was  at  Niagara, 
and  then  at  the  brook  Kidron,  and  the  river  Jordan, 
and  was  with  Jonah  in  the  whale,  and  off  again  at- 
tending a  cold  water  society.  And  he  visited  Jacob's 
well,  and  was  with  the  Children  of  Israel  at  the  Red 
Sea.  And  then  he  dreamed  on,  that  a  half  dozen 
Bill  Blogus'es,  with  fits,  were  trying  to  drown  him 
in  a  tan  "rat;  that  a  woman  with  blue  lips  and  sun- 
bonnet  was  pushing  him  in  with  a  bean-pole  with 


PHILIP'S  DREAM. 


UPS  AND  DOWNS.  99 

an  old  brass  kettle  tied  to  the  end  of  it,  and  that 
little  Ben  Watkins  stood  on  the  edge  of  the  vat, 
laughing  at  the  fun.  How  fantastically  dreams  ar- 
range themselves.  Philip,  in  his  sleep,  struggled 
to  rid  himself  of  the  troubles  of  his  dream,  and 
awoke  to  find  that  a  delicate  waterfall  was  dancing 
on  his  pillow,  and  quite  a  little  dam  was  formed 
about  his  organ  of  firmness,  and  the  water  had  over- 
flowed about  his  ears,  and  had  formed  two  channels, 
one  inside  of  his  shirt  and  the  other  out,  and  both 
were  mingling  together  in  the  general  swamp  of 
feathers  and  bed-quilts,  down  below,  and  he  was  a 
sort  of  floating  island  in  the  midst. 

He  arose  hastily,  and  forgetting  his  calculation 
of  distances,  his  organ  of  benevolence  struck  one 
of  the  knots  on  the  horizontal  rafters,  which  gave 
him  another  glimpse  of  meteors,  and  he  thought  of 
Squillip's  admonition  to  stoop,  and  more  of  Da- 
vid's expressions  against  his  calamities,  and  con- 
cluded not  to  soak  in  his  present  locality  any  longer. 

He  clothed  himself,  and  his  garments  were  moist, 
and  he  was  damp  throughout,  and  chilled,  and 
longed  for  a  favorable  place  to  dry.  The  storm  be- 
gan to  lull ;  the  trickling  streams  grew  feeble ;  the 
roaring  wind  softened  into  sighs  ;  the  demons  of 
the  storm  mellowed  their  notes,  as  if  whispering  to 
the  heavens  and  the  earth  a  treaty  of  peace,  in  some 
great  echoing  hall ;  the  fierce  flashes  had  toned  down 


ioo  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

into  soft  and  wavy  lights,  dancing  mildly  through 
the  open  spaces. 

Philip  would  have  slept  again  if  he  only  could. 
But  sleep  and  comfort  generally  go  together ;  and 
how  can  a  man  be  comfortable  with  two  pounds  of 
rain-water  promiscuously  diffused  all  over  him  ? 
Sleep  may  come  to  weariness  when  it  is  dry  ;  it  may 
be  "heaven's  balm  for  weeping  eyes;"  and  "na- 
ture's sweet  restorer;  "  but  who  ever  knew  of  deli- 
cious sleep  coming  to  a  man,  while  wet  and  cold, 
from  head  to  foot,  and  every  thing  dripping,  trick- 
ling, and  soaking  around,  above,  and  underneath 
him?  Who  ever  went  to  sleep  while  undergoing 
immersion,  or  while  being  drenched  in  a  storm? 
Somnus  has  a  dread  of  water. 

Philip  slept  no  more  that  night.  But  how  was  he 
to  while  away  the  dark,  oozy,  idle  hours  ?  He  feared 
to  trust  his  weight  on  the  loose,  slippery  floor.  He 
sat  uneasily  on  the  edge  of  the  bed ;  which  was  like 
a  bank  of  moss  after  an  abundant  shower.  A  lamp 
and  books  would  have  been  blessings,  too  greatly  in 
contrast  with  the  ills  around  him.  To  sing,  might 
make  him  an  unwelcome  lodger ;  to  whistle,  might 
arouse  the  dogs.  Still  he  sat  upon  the  edge  of  his 
couch  and  waited  for  the  morning. 

He  tried  to  meditate,  but  his  thoughts  were  like 
worthless  shells  filled  with  water:  like  withered 
leaves  soaking  in  a  pool :  like  empty  bubbles  chasing 
each  other  down  a  crooked  stream.  The  Patriarch, 


UPS  AND  DOiVNS.  IOI 

Isaac,  went  out  at  eventide  to  meditate,  but  we 
have  no  account  that  he  did  so  when  it  rained. 
David  said,  that  he  meditated  with  delight  on  heav- 
en's statutes,  but  did  he  ever  enjoy  that  pleasure  in 
a  wet,  dripping,  log-cabin  garret.  He  tried  to  look 
over  the  sunny  spots  of  his  history,  and  tried  to 
say  with  the  king  of  Israel,  "  My  heart  is  inditing 
a  good  matter,  it  bubbleth  up  while  I — yes — bub- 
bleth  up."  Yes,  his  thoughts,  (Philip's,  I  mean,) 
"bubbled  up,"  and  like  all  bubbles,  ended  in  no 
profit.  The  fibres  of  his  heart,  like  those  of  his  body, 
were  flattened  and  enervated  by  the  surrounding  frig- 
idity and  mucuosity.  The  chain  of  his  memory  was 
like  a  rope  of  sand.  His  mental  treasures  no  longer 
floated  near,  where  they  could  be  gathered,  but 
were  sodden  and  sunk,  and  hid  from  reach.  The 
former  events  came  back  to  him  in  disorder,  like 
crippled  soldiers  on  crutches,  or  like  snatches  of  a 
forgotten  tune  heard  from  afar,  or  like  a  ghostly 
moan  from  some  gloomy  chamber,  giving  to  him  an 
indistinct,  half  remembrance,  that  he  had  heard  the 
like  in  former  days. 

But  hope,  the  mainspring  of  Philip's  enjoyment, 
was  still  strong,  although  the  wheels  of  his  mental 
machinery  had  received  a  momentary  jostle,  or 
were  water-logged  for  a  while.  The  rays  of  hope 
enlightened  his  gloom,  and  warmed  his  aching  limbs  ; 
its  elastic  spring  made  him  buoyant ;  it  echoed  from 
the  crowing  cocks,  laughed  in  the  stars  that  beamed 
8 


IO2  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

from  the  opening  clouds,  and  saved  him  from  the 
blues.  It  made  him  think,  that  the  darkness  and 
dampness  would  be  followed  by  sun-beams  and 
gladness ;  that  the  washings  and  drenchings  might 
tend  to  purify  and  educate  his  soul ;  that  the  rough 
and  murky  road  would  lead  to  success ;  that  these 
mists  and  vapors,  and  chilly  damps  were  some  of 
the  moral  tonics  to  brace  his  mind  and  give  it  a 
healthy  tone.  Hope  is  a  glorious  helper,  even  if 
half  its  promises  are  never  realized.  Somewhere 
in  the  future  its  prophecies  will  be  fulfilled. 


SQUILLIP'S  HOME.  103 


CHAPTER   XL 

SQIULLIP'S      HOME. 

Before  day  dawned,  Squillip's  voice  and  footsteps 
were  heard,  followed  by  the  rattle  of  pokers  and 
kindlings,  and  pots  and  kettles,  and  Mrs.  Squillip's 
preparations  for  breakfast.  Never  did  the  crack- 
ling of  fire  sound  more  musical  to  Philip's  ears  ; 
never  was  light  more  welcome  than  the  streams  of 
it  which  poured  through  the  cracks  of  the  boards 
beneath  him.  He  ventured,  very  cautiously,  to 
make  his  way  down  from  his  garret  prison.  As 
soon  as  he  appeared  below  the  loft  floor,  he  was 
greeted  by  the  head  of  the  household. 

"Good  mornin',  Brother  Force;  how'd  ye  rest 
last  night?" 

"Tolerably  well,  I  thank  you,  sir." 

"Did  the  rain  come  in  on  ye?"  inquired  Squil- 
lip. 

' '  Yes,  sir,  considerably ;  I  am  well  drenched 
from  head  to  foot,  and  have  been  awake,  it  seems 
to  me,  for  the  last  four  hours." 

"Well,  I'm  sorry;  it  leaked  some  on  our  bed 
too,  but  I've  got  so  used  to  it,  I  don't  mind  a  com- 
mon leak ;"  and  Squillip  gave  the  fire  a  kick,  and 
stuck  his  feet  upon  the  jamb,  and  leaned  back  in 


IO4  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

his  split-bottomed  chair  in  a  fresh,  good  humor, 
and  continued:  "Take  a  cheer,  Brother  Force,  and 
come  up  to  the  fire  and  dry  yerself,  and  ye'll  feel  as 
bright  as  a  dollar  by  breakfast  time.  Ye  slept 
some,  didn't  ye?" 

"  I  have  been  awake  since  the  storm,  sir;  but  I 
will  be  comfortable  sitting  by  this  fire  for  a  while  ;" 
and  he  drew  up  closer  by  the  side  of  Squillip,  who, 
until  this  moment,  had  scarcely  taken  a  good  view 
of  him. 

"Why,  ye  must  have  had  a  duckin'  time;  you 
look  like  a  dog  that's  been  huntin'  coons  through 
wet  grass.  Judy,  you'd  better  give  him  a  little 
pepper  tea  before  breakfast ;  it'll  warm  him  up,  and 
keep  him  from  takin'  cold." 

' '  No,  no,  I  thank  you,  sir ;  a  cup  of  coffee  at 
breakfast  will  be  all  sufficient." 

"  I  can  fix  ye  the  pepper  tea  in  a  minute,  Broth- 
er Force,  if  ye'll  drink  it,"  said  Mrs.  Squillip. 

' '  Not  at  all,  madam ;  I  never  was  partial  to  pep- 
per tea." 

Squillip  balanced  himself  again  on  the  hind  legs 
of  his  chair,  raised  his  feet  a  little  higher  by  the 
side  of  the  capacious  fire-place,  and  threw  both 
hands  together  on  the  back  of  his  head,  and  was 
the  picture  of  primitive  ease,  and  unambitious, 
simple  contentment.  Mrs.  Squillip  was  busy 
kneading  dough  in  a  large,  home-made  wooden 
bowl,  which  set  on  the  table.  An  earthen  crock, 


SQUILLIP'S  HOME.  105 

turned  bottom  side  up,  served  as  an  elevated  resting 
place  for  the  saucer-lamp,  of  last  night's  history. 
An  iron  skillet,  eighteen  inches  in  diameter  and 
three  inches  deep,  was  laid  to  heat  over  the  logs  of 
the  fire,  and  the  lid  of  the  skillet  was  undergoing 
the  same  process  by  its  side.  The  tea-kettle  set  on 
the  hearth,  close  by  the  fore  stick,  and  the  boiling 
water  would  sputter  occasionally  from  its  spout. 
A  large-sized  chicken,  well  dressed,  and  split  open 
the  whole  length  of  the  back,  hung  on  a  tow  string, 
so  that  it  came  within  the  roasting  power  of  the  fire  ; 
and  Squillip  would  occasionally  give  it  a  turn  with 
a  stick,  that  the  parts  might  all  be  equally  cooked. 
When  Mrs.  Squillip  had  set  the  hot  skillet  on  the 
hearth  and  filled  it  with  the  biscuit,  she  run  the 
wooden  poker  through  the  handle  of  the  hot  lid  and 
placed  it  over  them,  and  with  a  clapboard  fire- 
shovel  showered  this  lid  with  glowing  coals ;  and 
in  the  same  manner  threw  a  vast  abundance  of 
coals  under  this  miniature  bake  oven.  She  lifted 
the  lid  several  times,  to  note  progress,  and  re- 
peatedly turned  the  whole  baking  concern  around  ; 
and  when  the  contents  were  done  brown,  she  took 
them  out,  and  placed  them  in  a  large  earthen 
crock  by  the  fire,  to  keep  warm  till  time  for  eating. 
It  seemed  to  take  two  or  three  skillets'  full  before 
the  required  amount  of  biscuit  were  prepared. 
After  the  biscuit,  the  same  skillet  was  used  for  fry- 
ing great  slices  of  ham ;  and  the  ham,  in  its  turn, 


io6  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

took  its  place  in  a  dish  by  the  side  of  the  biscuit. 
The  same  skillet  was  also  used  for  frying  eggs ;  and 
after  the  eggs,  for  frying  potatoes  and  sliced  apples, 
— and  all  these  dishes  were  placed  on  the  earthen 
hearth,  to  keep  hot  till  breakfast  time.  Mrs.  Squil- 
lip  prevented  her  brains  from  roasting  by  keeping 
on  a  capacious  sunbonnet ;  and  when  stooping  over 
the  important  skillet,  would  hold  one  hand  before 
her  eyes,  to  shield  them  from  the  blazing  heat. 

The  shelves  which  held  the  queensware  and  other 
culinary  implements,  were  supported  by  pegs 
driven  into  two-inch  auger  holes  in  the  logs,  on  the 
left  hand  corner,  as  you  faced  the  fire.  The  lower 
shelf  was  wider  than  the  others,  and  served  as  a 
sort  of  half  table,  and  on  that  was  placed  the  crock 
and  lamp,  and  there  the  lamp  remained  until  the 
other  table  was  set. 

Day  was  beginning  to  dawn,  and  the  two  Miss 
Magultys  made  their  appearance. 

"Good  mornin',  girls,"  said  Squillip ;  "didn't 
get  any  o'  that  storm,  did  ye?" 

"Goodness!  I  feel  like  I'd  been  immersed,  and 
was  kept  under  the  water  longer  than  the  gospel 
required,"  said  Julia,  shuddering  with  cold. 

"  Well,  you  do  look  some  damp,  both  of  ye." 

"Damp?  Why,  I  could  wring  a  bucket  of 
water  out  of  my  clothes  now.  You  had  better  turn 
your  roof  the  other  way,  Mr.  Squillip." 

"Didn't  you  sleep  none,  girls?" 


SQUILLIP'S  HOME.  107 

' '  Oh,  yes ;  we  slept  till  the  storm  came,  and  the 
water  began  to  pour  on  our  bed.  Then  we  got  up 
and  crept  under  the  bed,  and  shivered  around  there 
awhile,  and  had  a  few  naps  laying  on  some  old 
clothes  and  sacks,  or  something  of  that  sort.  If 
we  had  only  thought  to  have  taken  our  dresses 
under  there  with  us,  we  would  have  done  better. 
But  the  dresses  are  about  ruined,"  said  Julia. 

Squillip  did  not  appear  to  have  the  slightest  con- 
cern over  their  misfortunes ;  in  fact,  they  rather 
amused  him.  His  wife,  however,  showed  some 
signs  of  regret  over  their  annoyance  from  the  rain. 

"  That's  too  oncommon  bad.  I've  been  at  Jake 
to  fix  them  roofs,  but  he  keeps  puttin'  me  off  and 
puttin'  me  off,  tellin'  me  he's  goin'  to  build  a  new 
house  afore  long." 

"Well,  Judy,  the  new  house '11  come  as  soon  as 
I  get  able.  I've  tried  to  tinker  up  the  old  roof, 
but  it's  no  go  ;  it  will  spill  through,"  said  Squillip, 
good  humoredly. 

"It's  outrageous  bad  to  spile  the  girls'  dresses, 
and  make  'em  sleep  so  dreadful  onpleasant. " 

"That's  so  ;  I'm  sorry  their  dresses  is  spiled,  and 
that's  more'n  they  was  when  Sue  Jinks  and  Kate 
Miler  smashed  their  bonnets.  Seems  to  me,  they 
were  tickled  powerfully  over  that ;  now  they're 
gettin'  paid  up." 

"Oh,    it's   no   matter,   Mr.   Squillip,  about   our 


io8  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

dresses,"  said  Jane;  "it  was  partly  our  own  fault; 
we  might  have  put  them  under  the  bed  with  us." 

"Never  mind,  girls;  when  I  get  rich  I'll  buy  ye 
a  dress  a-piece.  Ye  shall  sleep  dry  the  next  time 
ye  come  to  our  house,  if  I  have  to  stretch  my 
wagon-cover  over  the  roof.  Ye  see,  I  didn't  much 
think  it  would  rain  last  night." 

' '  Thank  you,  Mr.  Squillip ;  tell  us  how  you 
slept." 

"Oh,  I  slept  fustrate;  such  a  storm  harly  ever 
wakes  me.  I  wouldn't  a'  waked  last  night,  only 
the  young  one  screamed  so ;  and  thunder  wouldn't 
wake  Judy ;  so  I  had  to  jump  up  to  it,  and  found  the 
water  runnin'  a  stream  close  to  its  face,  and  I  tuck 
it  out  of  the  cradle,  and  laid  it  on  a  sheep-skin 
under  the  bed  ;  and  it  went  to  sleep  agin  in  two 
minnits;  and  I  wasn't  awake  long,  for  common 
rains  don't  'sturb  me." 

Jerry  Spildick  and  Moses  Squillip  now  came  in, 
and  the  two  Misses  Squillip,  who  had  slept  in  the 
trundle-bed,  were  added  to  the  group,  around  the 
fire. 

"Take  a  wash,  Brother  Force;"  and  Squillip 
filled  a  tin  basin  half-full  of  water,  and  set  it  with- 
out, on  the  front  doorstep ;  and  beckoning  Philip, 
told  him  to  "pitch  in. "  After  Philip  had  pitched  in 
and  out  again,  the  two  Miss  Magultys  performed 
their  morning  ablutions  in  the  same  manner,  and 
Jerry  and  Mose  followed  suit,  in  rapid  succession ; 


SQUILLIP'S  HOME.  109 

and  they  all  used  the  same  large  towel  to  absorb  the 
trickling  drops  from  their  faces. 

Mrs.  Squillip  now  set  down,  as  if  she  had  come 
to  one  little  resting  place  in  the  day's  labor,  and 
blew  out  a  long  breath  indicative  of  weariness,  and 
said : 

' '  Ready  for  prayers  no.w,  Jake  ?" 

Jake  went  to  a  small,  rough  shelf  under  the 
cracked  looking-glass,  and  handed  down  an  old, 
worn  bible  and  hymn-book,  and  laid  them  on  the 
corner  of  the  breakfast  table,  and  remarked : 

"Brother  Force,  take  the  books." 

The  boys  and  girls  had  been  making  a  vigorous 
use  of  an  old  coarse  comb,  to  straighten  their  wil- 
derness of  hair  ;  and  one  of  the  boys,  with  a  wry 
face,  was  still  tugging  away  at  his  tangled  locks  as 
Philip  took  the  book.  Squillip  resumed  his  posi- 
tion on  the  old  split-bottomed  chair ;  the  boys  sat 

• 

upon  an  old  goods-box,  which  had  been  converted 
into  a  chest,  with  leather  hinges,  and  the  girls 
occupied  the  chairs. 

The  chapter  was  short,  and  all  listened  as  though 
they  were  accustomed  to  such  exercises,  excepting 
Jerry  Spildick ;  he  looked  as  if  he  would  be  infin- 
itely obliged  to  some  one  who  would  come  and 
show  him  where  to  put  his  legs  and  arms,  and  tell 
him  how  to  arrange  his  eyes  and  mouth.  Jerry 
was  about  twelve  or  fourteen  years  old,  and  said 
afterwards  :  "We  never  have  meetin'  at  our  house. " 


no  THE  Two   CIRCUITS. 

All  except  Jerry  joined  in  the  singing,  and  it  was 
a  blessing  to  human  ears  to  listen  to  their  voices. 
All  the  quavers  and  crotchets  may  not  have  been 
strictly  observed  ;  no  one  thought  of  them  ;  there 
was  no  constraint  or  check  of  rules,  nor  squeamish 
desire  to  seem  refined.  It  was  a  grand  out-gush  of 
full-breasted  music ;  sweet,  loud  and  distinct,  ear- 
nest, and  majestic  enough  to  echo  through  the 
nave  of  a  cathedral.  And  then  they  all  bowed 
around  the  domestic  shrine,  and  poured  out  their 
simple  wants  to  the  Great  Father  as  if  their  souls 
were  hungry  for  the  bread  of  heaven,  excepting 
Jerry  Spildick,  who  wanted  to  go  home. 

Mrs.  Squillip  sat  at  the  head  of  the  table,  with 
the  tin  coffee-pot  and  an  array  of  calico-colored 
cups  and  saucers  before  her.  The  sugar  was  in  a 
tin-cup,  and  so  was  the  cream,  and  the  two  were 
conveyed  to  the  coffee  cups  with  an  iron  table- 
spoon ;  no  teaspoons  were  visible.  Squillip  stirred 
his  coffee  with  his  knife,  and  sat  at  the  end  of  the 
table  opposite  his  wife.  The  two  Miss  Magultys 
sat  on  one  side,  and  Philip  on  the  other,  and  Jerry 
Spildick  was  urged  to  occupy  the  vacant  seat  by 
Philip's  side.  But  he  would  as  soon  have  seated 
himself  on  the  throne,  by  the  side  of  the  Great 
Mogul ;  in  fact,  he  hardly  ventured  to  speak  above 
his  breath.  To  eat  by  the  side  of  a  preacher! 
Why,  he  would  have  choked  on  the  first  mouthful. 
Philip  tried  to  persuade  him,  and  talked  to  him 


SQUILLIP'S  HOME.  1 1 1 

good-humoredly ;  but  Jerry  hung  his  head,  quailing 
with  diffidence,  and  turned  away  his  eyes,  down- 
cast ;  and  his  whole  body  seemed  to  say :  "I 
exceedingly  fear  and  quake. "  Squillip  relieved  him 
by  ordering  Moses  and  him  to  go  and  feed  the 
hogs,  while  the  first  table  was  eating.  The  sight 
of  hogs  feeding  was  far  more  welcome  to  the  heart 
of  Jerry  than  the  sight  of  a  preacher,  and  their 
cracking  of  corn  more  grateful  to  his  ears  than 
words  of  comfort  from  a  minister.  Older  people 
than  Jerry  have  taken  more  pleasure  in  the  society 
of  hogs  than  in  the  society  of  those  they  regarded  as 
their  superiors.  Hundreds  of  young  men  have  been 
kept  from  warm  hearts  and  serviceable  attachments 
by  inward  misgivings  and  smothering  embarrass- 
ment ;  and  thus  brass  and  presumption  have  occu- 
pied places  of  profit  and  honor,  while  merit  has 
pushed  itself  off  to  consort  with  hogs,  horses  and 
cattle,  boxes,  barrels  and  brickdust. 


H2  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER  XII. 

RETURN  TO  MAGULTY's. 

Soon  after  breakfast,  Squillip  made  preparatii  as 
to  go  back  to  Mrs.  Magulty's,  to  attend  the  meet- 
ing there  at  eleven  o'clock.  The  two  old  horses, 
with  one  eye  for  both  of  them,  were  hitched  to  the 
rickety  wagon.  The  two  men  took  the  driver's 
seat,  Mrs.  Squillip  and  the  four  children  sat  flat  up- 
on the  straw,  which  half  filled  the  wagon  bed,  and 
the  two  Miss  Magulty's  had  their  chairs  near  the 
back  end-gate,  and  two  dogs  capered  in  the  road  be- 
fore the  team,  showing  signs  of  great  rejoicing. 

Mrs.  Squillip  held  in  her  arms  a  one  year  old 
specimen  of  depravity.  In  its  twelve  months'  life 
journey,  it  had  gone  very  far  from  original  right- 
eousness. Philip  says,  that  he  has  heard  of  people 
being  ' '  charmed  to  heaven  by  the  innocent  light  of 
childhood's  eye,"  but  he  affirms  that  the  light  from 
the  eye  of  this  young  Squillip,  was  suggestive  of 
something  else  besides  innocence  and  love,  and 
that  the  charms  of  heaven  would  hardly  be  increas- 
ed by  a  choir  of  such  voices.  He  had  also  heard 
of  "childhood  being  spotless  and  blameless,"  but 
this  little  suckling  seemed  to  spot  nearly  every- 
thing it  touched ;  and  fought,  scratched,  pinched, 


RETURN  TO  MAGULTY'S.  1 1 3 

and  pulled  the  hair  of  the  mother,  who  tried  to 
console  it.  "Yes,"  thought  Philip,  "they  are 
said  to  be  a  '  comfort  to  all  our  grief,'  "  but  this  one 
squalled  its  grief  in  the  face  of  all  comfort.  Some 
one  else  says  they  are  "living  poems."  "Yes," 
says  Philip,  "and  have  a  most  terific  chorus." 
Some  poet,  over  the  first  household  visitant  he  had 
of  this  kind,  breaks  out  thus  in  the  pride  of  his 
fatherhood : 

"  A  cherub  might  mistake  our  rosy  boy, 
yor  a  reposing  mate." 

If  a  cherub  had  made  such  a  mistake,  in  regard  to 
Squillip's  youngest,  it  would  show  that  cherubs  might 
have  less  sense  than  mortals,  and  that  they  might 
be  near  akin  to  fallen  angels.  The  principal  boast, 
that  the  father  had  to  make  of  this  baby,  was,  that, 
"it  slept  well  o'  nights."  And  this,  was,  not  only 
a  merciful  habit  for  the  parent,  but  also  for  the 
child,  when  we  consider  the  amount  of  kicking, 
scratching,  tumbling  and  yelling  it  had  to  do  while 
it  was  awake ;  for  every  muscle  seemed  to  dance  to 
the  music  of  its  temper,  and  its  temper  seldom  in- 
dicated that  it  had  slept  in  the  neighborhood  of 
cherubs. 

Mrs.  Squillip  was  thirty-five  years  old ;  but  one 
would  judge  her,  at  first  sight,  to  be  forty-five.  She 
might  once  have  been  considered  good  looking; 
but  the  sun  and  frost  had  rested  hard  upon  her 
face,  neck  and  hands.  There  were  long  seams 


1 14  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

across  her  forehead,  and  short  wrinkles  about  her 
eyes  and  mouth.  Whatever  of  beauty  she  may 
have  had  was  beginning  to  crisp  and  fade,  and  was 
passing  away  under  excessive  wear  and  toil.  She 
was  one  of  the  many  women  of  the  west,  who  are 
hurrying  to  their  grave  by  overworking.  She  rose 
early,  probably  was  the  first  astir.  She  cooked  in 
a  hampered,  huddled,  crowded  room,  three  meals 
a  day,  for  from  six  to  a  dozen  people ;  milked  from 
one  to  half  a  dozen  cows,  with'  calves,  now  and 
then,  to  be  attended  to,  at  the  same  time  ;  took 
care  of  the  milk,  in  all  its  stages ;  churned  the  but- 
ter; looked  after  whole  generations  of  chickens, 
ducks,  geese,  turkeys  and  many  similar  and-so-forths ; 
swept  the  house,  and  cleaned  up  the  yard,  if  it  was 
ever  cleaned  ;  gathered  beans,  potatoes,  corn,  toma- 
toes and  beets  in  their  season,  and  all  the  other  suc- 
culents and  esculents  for  the  coming  needs ;  stopped 
to  take  care  of  a  babe,  while  another  two  or  three 
year  old  was  squalling  for  help  or  food  ;  straightened 
the  beds  and  clothing,  for  the  one  had  been  tum- 
bled and  the  other  scattered  by  the  rising  family ; 
washed  all  one  day  of  the  week,  and  part  of  two  or 
three  other  days,  lifting  iron  kettles  and  wooden 
tubs,  that  would  each  hold  half  a  barrel.  On  an- 
other day  she  ironed  the  clothes  by  a  roasting  fire  ; 
and  baked  bread  nearly  every  other  day,  by  olher 
roasting  fires ;  prepared  innumerable  supplies  of 
victuals  for  winter;  set  up  late  at  night  to  mend 


RETURN  TO  MAGULTY'S.  1 1 5 

and  darn,  sew  on  buttons,  patch,  make  shirts, 
dresses,  bonnets,  caps,  pants,  coats,  and  socks,  for 
two  or  three,  or  half  a  score ;  and  took  up  her  spare 
time  in  spinning  and  weaving  a  variety  of  fabrics. 

More  than  half  the  farmers'  wives  in  the  west,  do 
more  work  every  day,  than  any  two  negroes  in  the 
south  could  ever  be  made  to  do  in  the  same  time. 
Cheap  jeans  and  cotton  goods,  and  cooking  stoves, 
and  latterly,  sewing  machines,  have  been  a  sort  of 
godsend  to  the  prairie  housewives.  Yet  many  a 
farmer  can  hardly  bring  himself  to  part  with  a  colt 
or  steer,  for  a  sewing  machine,  which  will  save  an 
overburdened  wife,  hours  and  days  of  weary,  te- 
dious toil. 

About  half  past  ten  o'clock,  all  on  board  of  Squil- 
lip's  slow  wagon  arrived  at  Mrs.  Magulty's.  Zep- 
haniah  met  them  at  the  gate,  and  his  first  words 
were : 

"  I  say,  Mr.  Force,  your  filly's  kicked  the  brains 
out  o'  one  o'  my  pups." 

"I'm  glad  of  that,  I  wish  she  had  kicked  the 
brains  out  of  both  of  them,  for  they  destroy  more 
than  they  are  worth,"  said  Julia. 

"  Jule,  you  hush;  you  don't  know  nuthin'  about 
pups.  I  wouldn't  a  tuck  ten  dollars  for  him." 

"I  am  sorry  your  dog  was  killed  by  the  filly," 
said -Philip,  as  he  jumped  out  of  the  wagon,  and 
prepared  to  assist  the  girls  to  alight. 


n6  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"You'd  better  look  out  for  your  own  brains, 
Mr.  Force,  for  that  wicked  filly's  so  fond  o'  kickin' 
that  she'd  jist  as  soon  kick  a  preacher  as  a  pup. 
Mr.  Squillip,  wont  ye  have  yer  hosses  put  up?" 

"No,  I  guess  not ;  I'll  juss  let  'em  stand  by  the 
fence ;  I  must  go  back  as  soon  as  meetin'  is  over. 


BLUNT.  117 


CHAPTER   XIII. 

BLUNT. 

Mrs.  Magulty  greeted  Philip,  as  he  ascended  the 
steps  of  the  porch,  and  introduced  him  to  several 
persons  sitting  and  standing  about  there,  who  had 
come  to  the  meeting.  Among  the  number  was 
Mr.  Blunt,  a  local  preacher,  who  lived  at  Spengler's 
Grove,  the  place  where  Philip  was  to  preach  the 
next  day.  Blunt  seemed  to  think  it  was  his  busi- 
ness to  take  special  charge  of  Philip,  and  appropri- 
ate him  to  himself.  He  was  a  heavy-set  man,  with 
a  short,  heavy-set  nose,  and  his  forehead  was  high, 
and  his  brain  was  of  unusual  diameter ;  his  eye- 
brows were  thick,  long  and  heavy-set ;  he  was 
slightly  cross-eyed,  but  somehow  when  he  began 
to  talk  his  eyes  would  straighten ;  his  hair  was  the 
color  of  old  wheat  straw,  and  was  heavy-sef  and 
short ;  he  shut  his  mouth  so  tight  that  it  gave  the 
middle  of  his  upper  lip  an  outward  and  upward  ten- 
dency. He  designed  that  his  countenance  should 
be  expressive  of  dignity  and  decision,  but  a  stranger 
might  have  mistaken  it  as  indicative  of  ferocity. 
He  would  draw  in  his  heavy-set  chin,  and  throw  out 
his  breast,  and  spread  out  his  heavy-set  legs,  and 
throw  his  weight  on  his  heels,  and  stick  his  thumbs 
9 


u8  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

in  the  arm  holes  of  his  vest,  and  speak  quick  and 
loud,  and  gesticulate  with  his  elbows,  reminding 
you  of  a  heavy-set  rooster  flapping  his  wings,  pre- 
paratory to  a  victorious  crow.  He  would  make  his 
words  emphatic,  by  significant  nods  and  winks,  and 
throwing  his  head  from  left  to  right,  and  from  right 
to  left,  as  far  as  his  short  neck  would  allow. 

On  being  introduced,  he  extended  his  right  hand 
to  Philip,  while  the  thumb  of  the  left  clenched  the 
arm  hole  of  his  jacket,  and  talked  away  quite  rap- 
idly: 

"Your  name  is  Force?  That's  a  good  name,  if 
you  have  the  nat'ral  grit  to  correspond  to  it.  This 
is  your  first  circuit?" 

"That  is  true,  sir,"  Philip  replied,  as  if  he  was 
shy  of  the  questioner. 

"  You're  college  bred,  I've  been  informed  ?  What 
might  be  your  age  ?  You'll  have  to  get  more  flesh 
on  your  bones,  before  you'll  be  able  to  stand  this 
circuit.  Where  are  you  from,  Brother  Force  ? 
How4ong  have  you  been  a  Methodist?  You  real- 
ly look  more  like  a  Blue-Stocking  Presbyterian, 
than  a  Methodist.  He  didn't  talk  Presbyterian 
fashion  last  night,  you  say,  Brother  Squillip ;  I'll 
take  your  word  on  that  point,  I  know  you  r  a  judge 
of  preaching,  Brother  Squillip.  I  see  from  your 
teeth,  Brother  Force,  that  you're  not  defiled  by  the 
use  of  tobacco ;  I  .am  glad  to  see  that  you  do  not 
serve  the  devil  in  the  way  of  smoking  or  chewing." 


BLUNT.  119 

"Mr.  Squillip,  give  me  a  chaw-tobaccer, "  and 
Mr.  Squillip  pulled  from  his  breeches  pocket  a  home- 
made twist,  about  six  inches  long  and  handed  it  to 
Zephaniah,  who  run  about  an  inch  and  a  half  of  it 
into  his  mouth,  and  twisting  it  between  his  teeth, 
close  in  the  range  of  Blunt' s  vision ;  and  the  latter 
drew  up  his  nose,  to  its  most  concise  abridgement, 
and  his  upper  lip  took  an  extra  curl,  and  Zephaniah 
turned  on  his  heel,  and  walked  away,  observing : 
' '  I  don't  see  how  men  get  along  without  chawin' 
tobaccer. " 

During  the  last  fifteen  hours,  Squillip  had  formed 
quite  an  attachment  for  Force ;  and  he  stood  close 
by  him,  with  his  hands  far  down  in  his  sack-coat 
pockets,  and  was  chewing  rapidly,  on  a  bulky  por- 
tion of  the  aforesaid  twist,  and  expectorated  with 
frequency  and  vigor,  and  assumed  an  attitude  of 
preparation  for  defence,  in  case  Blunt  should  make 
too  heavy  an  attack  on  Phillip  ;  evidently  not  enjoy- 
ing the  local  preacher's  remarks ;  but  kept  quiet, 
for  fear  he  might  say  too  much.  Blunt,  perceiving 
that  he  had  made  himself  slightly  repulsive,  both 
to  Squillip  and  the  young  preacher,  drew  up  close 
to  the  latter,  and  made  an  effort  to  look  kind  and 
conciliatory,  and  beckoned  to  Philip  to  step  to  one 
side,  as  if  for  secret,  friendly  intercourse.  But 
Squillip  kept  near  them,  not  appearing  to  hate 
Blunt,  but  fearing,  rather,  that  Philip  might  be 
over -annoyed,  by  his  rough  way  of  speaking. 


I2O  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"You'll  find  out,  Brother  Force,  that  rough, 
plain  spoken  folks  are  not  always  the  worst  friends. 
In  cutting  wood,  I  always  like  to  begin  on  the 
knotty  sticks,  and  top  off  on  the  smooth  ones. 
The  roughest  I've  got  in  the  shop,  generally  comes 
out  first ;  in  that  way  I  find,  often  in  a  few  minutes, 
what  sort  of  stuff  a  man's  made  of;  and  gets  him 
off  his  guard,  and  his  nature  works  out ;  it  draws 
him  out,  or  he  draws  in  ;  and  after  I  find  how  he 
stands  it,  I  come  at  him  with  something  smooth ; 
and  that  is  according  to  scripture,  '  The  best  of  the 
wine  at  the  last  of  the  feast. '  The  devil's  plan  is, 
to  put  out  the  best  first,  and  end  with  hard  trash. 
I  hope,  Brother  Force,  you'll  preach  a  short  ser- 
mon to-day,  for  I'm  going  to  pilot  you  over  the 
country,  to  our  grove,  and  I  want  to  get  home  be- 
fore dark.  I  wish  you  would  rebuke  the  men  who 
spit  tobacco  juice  on  Mrs.  Magulty's  floor.  It's  a 
filthy  practice  and  ought  to  be  stopped ;  I've  re- 
buked them  often,  and  they  spit  more  than  ever. 
Every  preacher  ought  to  preach  a  sermon,  once  a 
year,  on  tobacco  ;  its  worse  than  drinking  whisky  ; 
it  leads  to  drinking,  and  drinking  leads  to  tobacco, 
and  both  run  together,  like  the  streams  of  the 
south." 

"Well,  now,  Blunt,  that  tobacco  talk's  all  stuff; 
I  use  tobacco,  and  never  drunk  whisky,  and  nothin' 
else  stronger  than  your  apple  brandy,  you  like  so 
well." 


BLUNT.  121 

"Ah,  Brother  Squillip,  you've  got  so  much  good- 
ness in  you  ,  that  tobacco  can't  spile  you ;  but  its 
not  so  with  most  of  folks." 

Philip  was,  alternately,  amused  and  annoyed  with 
the  questions  and  remarks  of  Blunt;  and  as  he  rat- 
tled them  off  in  a  helter-skelter  style,  he  did  not 
interrupt  him  with  many  replies. 

"There's  getting  to  be  a  prodigious  amount  of 
pride  in  the  church,  and  it's  spreading  out  among  the 
preachers.  As  our  people  get  rich,  they  try  to  be 
like  other  rich  folks ;  and  I  guess  you'll  suit  them,  for 
they  say  you're  college  learned.  But  the  poor's  the 
majority,  Brother  Force.  Don't  get  starched  up 
above  common  folks;  preach  your  best,  and  go 
around  among  the  poor." 

"I  would  like  to  know  how  he'd  go  around 
among  any  other  sort  of  people,  in  this  section," 
said  Squillip. 

"You've  got  more  sense  about  books  than  I 
have,"  said  Blunt  to  Philip,  apparently  not  regard- 
ing Squillip's  interruption,  "but  I've  been  about 
the  world  not  a  little,  and  I  notice  that  stiff-necked, 
stuck-up,  and  swell-headed  people  almost  always 
bust  and  blow  up,  and  come  to  nothing  ;  like  rot- 
ten apples,  they  fall  before  they  are  half  ripe.  I'm 
naturally  proud  myself,  but  a  body's  a  great  fool  to 
show  it,  and  we  ought  to  have  grace  enough  to 
keep  it  under.  Then  there's  some  folks,  that  have 
nothing  to  be  proud  of,  and  so  they  try  to  make 


122  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

believe  it  is  religion  that  keeps  them  humble,  while 
all  the  time  its  poverty,  ignorance,  meanness  and 
hard  work.  Give  them  a  little  education  and  mon- 
ey so  that  they  can  do  nothing,  part  of  the  time, 
and  mercy,  what  airs  they  put  on,  and  their  pride 
and  vanity  becomes  a  perfect  disgust,  a  stench  be- 
fore heaven,  and  the  guardian  angel  has  to  hold  his 
nose  away  while  he  takes  care  of  them.  There 
comes  Brother  Flamer,  our  class-leader ;  that's  him 
hitching  that  sorrel  horse  to  that  jack-oak,  out  to 
the  left  over  yonder.  He's  a  good  man,  and  zeal- 
ous, and  nearly  everybody  has  faith  in  him  ;  I  tell 
you  he'll  do  to  tie  to  in  a  storm ,  no  blow  up,  or 
break  down  in  him ;  but  he  talks  a  little  too  long 
for  this  day  and  age  of  the  world,  in  his  class-meet- 
ings. People  can't  stand  so  much  talk  about  reli- 
gion now,  as  they  used  to  ;  they  tire  out  on  it ;  they're 
beginning  to  think  about  getting  rich,  refined,  proud 
and  intellectual.  But,  I  reckon,  when  a  man  talks 
so  everlasting  much,  about  even  the  best  things,  he 
mus4t  recapitulate,  till  he  becomes  tedious  and  weari- 
some, and  say  things  of  but  little  sense,  and  even 
get  nonsense  mixed  in  with  the  purest  subjects. 
When  a  sermon  has  but  little  sense  in  it,  it's  gener- 
ally long  winded.  When  a  man  gets  in  the  brush, 
preaching,  he  keeps  trying  to  get  out,  and  he  most- 
ly gets  deeper  in ;  and  when  he  sees  people  don't 
understand,  he  must  take  a  long  time  to  explain ; 
and  he  explains  away,  till  he  don't  understand  him- 


BLUNT.  123 

self;  and  then  he  exhorts  at  random  awhile,  till  he 
gets  to  a  place,  where  he  can  see  his  way  clear ; 
and  when  he  gets  were  he  can  see,  he  has  his  con- 
gregation where  they  won't  see  ;  and  then  he  must 
take  some  time  to  make  them  see ;  and  before  he 
makes  them  see,  he's  got  to  where  he  can't  see  him- 
self again,  if  he  ever  did  see ;  which  is  a  question ; 
and  then  the  people  begin  to  see,  that  he  is  beating 
the  air,  and  fighting,  or  glorifying  men  of  straw, 
and  he  closes  up  in  the  fog,  looking  for  light,  and 
getting  darker  all  the  time,  and  he's  very  hot  and 
full  of  sweat,  and  nearly  mad,  and  out  of  breath, 
and  has  been  out  of  ideas  nearly  all  the  way  through. 
It  would  be  a  wonderful  blessing  if  speakers  would 
simultaneously  run  out  of  breath  and  ideas.  Many 
a  crowd  would  be  saved  from  being  bored  with  little 
augers. " 

Blunt  moved  over  toward  the  outer  edge  of  the 
steps  of  the  porch,  and  motioning  with  his  hand, 
called  out : 

"Brother  Flamer,  step  this  way;"  and  Flamer 
came;  "this  is  our  young  preacher,  Brother 
Force." 

Flamer  grasped  the  skirts  of  his  coat  behind, 
with  his  left  hand,  and  extended  the  other  to  Philip. 

' '  I  am  glad  to  see  you,  Brother  Force ;  has  this 
brother  been  giving  you  counsel?" 

"No,  Brother  Flamer,  I've  been  examining  him 


124  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

some,  and  I  think  he'll  do  to  take  in,  on  probation 
any  how." 

' '  Brother  Force,  you  must  allow  some  margin 
for  what  Brother  Blunt  says,  for  he  is  the  kind  of 
man  who  generally  puts  it  out  rather  rough  at  first. 
You  are  coming  over  to  our  grove  this  afternoon,  I 
suppose?" 

"That  appears  to  be  the  arrangement,  sir." 

"  I  am  glad  of  that.  You  must  be  sure  to  come 
to  my  house ;  I  keep  a  room  for  the  prophets ;  and 
I  hope  you'll  consider  yourself  invited  all  the  time, 
whenever  it  suits  your  convenience,  come  on." 

"Thank  you,  sir,  I  shall  take  pleasure  in  calling. 
Is  it  not  time  now  for  service?" 

"Yes,  sir,  it  looks  as  if  it  was  eleven  o'clock, 
now,"  said  Blunt.  "My  rule  is,  to  begin  at  the 
hour,  congregation  or  no  congregation.  There'll 
be  more  here,  no  doubt;  but  I  wouldn't  wait ;  I'd 
begin  if  there  were  not  more  than  half  a  dozen. 
There's  no  use  of  dilly-dallying ;  the  more  you  wait, 
the  more  you  have  to  wait.  Those  who  are  on 
time  ought  not  to  be  made  to  pay  a  tariff  for  those 
that  are  behind  time.  Some  folks  are  too  late  with 
everything ;  it  looks  as  if  they  were  born  too  late, 
and  I'm  afraid  they'll  be  too  late  when  heaven's 
door  shuts  for  the  last  time  ;  I'd  begin  at  eleven 
precisely." 

Blunt  gesticulated  with  his  elbows,  and  closed 
his  mouth  very  tight  over  the  word  precisely ;  and 


HLUNT.  123 

his  nose  drew  up,  and  both  eyes  looked  toward  the 
lower  end  of  it,  and  he  raised  his  eyebrows  and 
widened  the  space  between  his  feet,  and  threw  back 
his  head,  and  drew  in  his  chin,  as  if  he  felt  that  he 
was  born  when  all  the  signs  were  favorable,  and  had 
a  free  pass  over  the  highways  of  time  to  the  better 
country, 


126  THE  Two   CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER    XIV. 

LOVE     NOT    SMOOTH. 

"Let  us  go  in,  Brother  Force,"  said  Blunt. 

And  they  went  in  ;  and  Blunt  hung  his  hat  on  a 
nail,  and  acted  as  master  of  ceremonies,  and  con- 
ducted Philip  to  a  chair  by  the  side  of  a  table, 
where  lay  the  bible  and  hymn-book;  and  seated 
himself  in  another  chair,  by  Philip's  side,  as  if  he 
were  proprietor  and  the  young  preacher  on  trial  in 
his  employ.  He  turned  his  chair  back  on  its  hind 
legs,  and  leaned  his  head  against  the  wall,  and  bal- 
anced his  heels  over  the  front  round  of  the  chair, 
and  pulled  out  his  red  and  yellow,  bandana  hand- 
kerchief, and  holding  a  diagonal  corner  in  each 
hand,  drew  it  with  great  precision  and  force  horizon- 
tally across  his  upper  lip,  and  then  pushed  it  over 
his  bristling  hair ;  and  the  hair  seemed  almost  to 
snap  and  crack  as  it  erected  itself  from  under  its 
folds ;  and  then  he  stretched  the  handkerchief 
across  his  lap  and  sighed  audibly,  and  looked  at  the 
clock,  and  coughed  a  few  times,  and  cleared  his 
throat,  and  commenced  singing  in  a  sharp,  loud 
key ;  and  his  face  grew  red,  and  he  kept  his  eyes 
shut  tightly,  and  his  feet  see-sawed  over  the  chair 
round,  keeping  time  with  the  tune. 


LOVE  NOT  SMOOTH.  127 

When  the  singing  commenced,  nearly  all  the 
people  outside  the  door  began  to  insinuate  them- 
selves into  the  room,  till  the  apartment  was  well 
filled,  and  several  were  still  remaining  on  the 
porch ;  and  others  continued  to  arrive  for  some 
minutes  after  the  exercises  commenced. 

All  the  big  and  little  dogs  had  to  rush  out  of  the 
room  and  off  the  porch  to  greet  the  new  arrivals  of 
dogs ;  and  they  made  an  immense  racket  with  their 
salutations;  and  some  of  them  (the  dogs)  even 
went  so  far  in  their  sacrilege  as  to  settle  some  of 
their  old  grudges  in  ferocious  style,  while  Philip 
was  opening  the  services  of  the  hour. 

Peace*  and  harmony  were  soon  restored,  or  rather 
came  of  their  own  accord;  and  Philip  proceeded 
and  concluded  under  favorable  auspices.  And  after 
dining  with  Mrs.  Magulty  and  family,  he  started 
with  Blunt  and  Flamer  for  Spengler's  Grove,  which 
was  about  six  miles  distant. 

Blunt  monopolized  most  of  the  conversation  on 
the  road.  Philip  had  not  yet  come  to  consider  it 
as  any  part  of  his  duty  to  take  the  lead  in  talking 
among  those  older  than  himself.  After  the  delivery 
of  his  sermon,  he  was  content  that  others  might 
lead  the  minds  and  give  character  to  the  thoughts  at 
that  time.  He  had  been  in  the  habit  of  listening 
to  more  experienced  men,  making  but  few  and 
brief  replies,  preferring  that  the  more  loquacious 


128  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

should  exhibit  -their  capacities  and  inclinations 
rather  than  make  a  display  of  his  own. 

When  fully  started  upon  the  road,  Blunt  began  : 

"  You  preached  a  pretty  good  sermon  to-day. 
But  as  you  are  young  and  I'm  getting  old,  I  hope 
you'll  not  take  it  out  of  the  way  if  I  should  criticise 
you  a  little?" 

"Not  at  all,  sir;  nothing  would  gratify  me  more 
than  to  have  my  faults  pointed  out,  that  I  may 
avoid  them  in  the  future."  Philip  felt,  at  the  same 
time,  as  if  he  was  about  to  undergo  a  surgical  oper- 
ation, the  pain  of  which  he  was  determined  to  bear 
with  what  grace  and  gladness  he  could. 

4 '  On  the  whole  that  sermon  rather  pleased  me ; 
but  you  had  rather  too  many  heads ;  and  you 
should  talk  slower  at  the  outset.  There  were 
several  places  in  it  where  you  might  have  borne 
down  heavier  on  common  sins — every  day  sins.  It 
was  too  much  like  an  essay  on  general  principles, 
and  nothing  in  particular.  When  I  go  to  shoot,  I 
want  to  see  the  game,  and  not  shoot  promiscuously 
at  the  whole  herd ;  but  single  out  one  deer,  and 
take  deliberate  aim  and  fetch  him.  If  a  man  fires 
his  whole  sermon  at  the  whole  lump  of  sin  in  gen- 
eral, why,  he  hits  none  so  as  to  hurt  them  much. 
And,  then,  you  talked  too  much  about  rainbows, 
flowers  and  gorgeous  clouds.  It  was  all  very 
pretty,  and  tickled  the  young,  and  made  the  women 
stare  and  wonder.  But  when  I'm  hungry  I  don't 


LOVE  NOT  SMOOTH.  129 

want  to  be  fed  on  pound-cake,  candy  and  custard  ; 
I  want  something  solid ;  something  that  will  stick- 
to  the  ribs  and  keep  the  stomach  from  falling  in  on 
itself.  And  what  is  more,  you  had  too  many  big 
words ;  for  instance,  procrastination.  Now,  there 
wasn't  a  half-dozen  persons  there  who  knew  what 
that  word  meant.  And  there  was  feasible.  Who 
ever  heard  of  feasible  out  here  on  the  prairie  ?  And 
there  was  ramify;  half  the  folks  there  thought  (if 
they  thought  at  all)  that  that  word  had  some  refer- 
ence to  rams.  And,  then,  you  had  something  to 
say  about  epicurians  ;  who  knew  whether  that  meant 
men,  monkeys  or  angels?  And,  then,  you  spoke 
about  intermittent  demonstrations  of  piety,  and  anoma- 
lous spasms  of  religious  emotion.  Now,  if  you  had 
said  fits  of  piety,  or  pious  spell*,  now  and  then, 
they  would  have  understood  you  better.  When  I 
feed  lambs,  I  don't  put  the  fodder  up  in  high  racks, 
where  they'll  strain  themselves  and  have  to  get  up 
on  their  hind  legs  to  get  a  nibble ;  I  put  it  down 
where  they  can  get  it  easy  ;  and  even  the  old  sheep 
like  it  that  way,  mostly.  Your  preaching  is  the 
kind  to  make  you  popular  with  many,  but,  gener- 
ally speaking,  it  is  not  the  kind  to  do  the  most 
good.  Even  simple-headed  folks  will  praise  you, 
because  they  think  it  great  and  learned,  and  away 
above  them ;  and  that  you  know  so  much  more 
than  they  do.  One  clever  brother  came  to  me  on 
the  porch,  and  says  he,  '  That's  as  good  a  sermon 


130  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

as  I've  heard  for  a  long  time  ;  I  think  that  Brother 
Force  is  the  making  of  a  great  man. '  I  asked  him 
what  made  him  think  so,  and  says  he,  'Why,  he 
had  so  many  great  words  in  that  sermon  that  I 
couldn't  understand. ' ' 

Philip  laughed  over  this  report,  and  ventured  to 
remark :  "  Is  it  not  better,  sir,  to  try  and  elevate 
the  people  to  a  high  and  proper  standard  than  for  a 
speaker  to  be  constantly  striving  to  come  down  to 
their  level?" 

"Yes,  that's  so,  too;  but  the  best  way  to  ele- 
vate them  is  to  get  down  by  the  side  of  them.  The 
Good  Samaritan  would  not  have  helped  that  dis- 
tressed man  much  if  he  had  set  on  his  horse,  and, 
with  great  dignity,  handed  his  medicine  and  oil 
down  to  him.  He  had  to  get  off' and  come  close 
to  him  before  his  kindness  could  do  him  any  good. 
Preachers  must  get  off  their  high  horses  of  big 
words  and  flowery  sentences,  and  come  right  at  the 
people,  and  try  to  lift  them  up.  I  tell  you,  it's  the 
way  to  make  them  feel,  and  make  them  do  some- 
thing." 

By  and  by,  they  reached  the  neighborhood  of 
Spengler's  Grove ;  and  as  they  were  about  to  turn 
at  a  right  angle  from  the  prairie,  into  a  lane  which 
led  to  Blunt's  house,  Blunt,  with  a  smothered 
voice,  told  his  companions  to  stop  and  keep  close 
to  the  bushes  that  grew  in  the  outside  fence  corners, 
as  persons  were  coming  up  the  road.  They 


LOVE  NOT  SMOOTH.  131 

crouched  along  under  the  thicket  as  closely  as  possi- 
ble, wondering  what  Blunt  should  mean. 

"What  is  it,  Blunt?"  said  Flamer.  "Who  are 
they  ?" 

"  Be  still,  you'll  spoil  everything  ;"  and  as  Blunt 
neared  the  mouth  of  the  lane,  he  kept  his  horse  in 
front,  and  motioned  the  others  to  keep  close  behind 
him.  There  was  no  time  for  explanations  or  spe- 
cific directions,  for  a  young  lady  and  two  young 
men  soon  came  galloping  up  to  the  mouth  of  the 
lane ;  and  Blunt  dashed  out  from  behind  the  bushes 
like  a  lion  from  his  lair,  and  caught  the  young 
lady's  horse  by  the  bridle,  exclaiming  in  loud  and 
excitable  tones : 

"Ah,  ha !  my  young  miss,  you  didn't  quite  make 
it  that  time !  You'll  just  go  back  to  your  mother 
a  while  longer;  and  you  rascals  can  ride  on.  When 
I  want  my  daughter  to  marry,  I'll  see  to  it;  she 
don't  marry  a  scoundrel. " 

Before  all  these  words  were  out  of  his  mouth,  he 
was  hurrying  his  daughter  and  her  horse  back  to- 
ward their  home. 

As  soon  as  he  had  begun  to  speak,  one  of  the 
young  men  dismounted  and  gave  his  bridle  to  the 
other ;  and  seizing  a  small  fence  rail,  rushed  toward 
Blunt,  to  rescue  his  lady-love.  But  Flamer  had 
dismounted  at  the  same  time,  and  had  handed  his 
bridle-reins  to  Philip,  and  ran  to  Blunt's  assistance. 


132  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

The  young  gallant,  seeing  he  was  about  to  be 
attacked  in  the  rear,  turned  quickly  around,  and  by 
a  well-directed  blow,  hit  Flamer  over  his  shoulder, 
and  sent  him  sprawling  among  the  weeds ;  and  by 
the  time  he  returned  to  renew  the  attack  upon  the 
main  enemy,  Blunt  was  out  of  reach,  hurrying 
homeward  with  the  lost  object  of  his  affections. 
He  followed  for  several  rods  with  the  uplifted  rail — 

"Impelled,  with  steps  increasing,  to  pursue 
Some  fleeting  good,  that  mocked  him  with  the  view  ; 
That,  like  the  circle  bounding  earth  and  skies, 
Allures  from  far,  yet  as  he  follows  flies." 

But  seeing  his  race  was  fruitless,  he  stopped  sud- 
denly and  threw  away  his  weapon  in  disgust,  and 
was  the  picture  of  hopeless  disappointment,  mingled 
with  contempt,  as  if  he  would  as  soon  melt  into 
nothing  now  as  at  any  time.  His  breath  came 
quick  and  fast  in  his  rage,  and  a  sheepish  vacuity 
swept  over  his  crimson  face ;  and  his  eyes  would 
roll  in  emptiness  and  defiance,  as  if  he  would  wither 
any  other  eyes  that  dared  to  look  into  them. 
Philip  says,  that,  for  the  moment,  he  felt  sorry  for 
him  ;  for  he  looked  like  a  lone  man  standing  on  a 
rock  in  a  wilderness  of  sea,  expecting  the  next 
rising  wave  to  bury  him,  and  that  he  was  now  curs- 
ing it  for  threatening  to  do  it. 

But  the  young  hero  had  but  a  short  time  to  look 
romantic  and  nurse  the  shades  of  alternate  hope 
and  disappointment,  or  roll  his  black  thoughts  over ; 


LOVE  NOT  SMOOTH.  133 

for  Flamer  was  coming  upon  him  like  a  Bull  of 
Bashan,  rail  in  hand,  evidently  in  a  suitable  state  of 
mind  for  warlike  exercises,  determined  to  break  the 
skull  of  the  fellow  that  knocked  him  down.  He 
was  dizzy  and  desperate,  and  knew  not  where  h& 
was,  and  didn't  care.  The  lightning  was  in  his 
veins,  and  vengeance  in  his  heart ;  the  spirit  of  the 
class-leader  was  out  of  him,  or  overpowered;  he 
was  sick  of  imitating  Job,  and  was  now  acting  Sam- 
son or  David. 

But  the  young  warrior  had  lost  the  object  of  his 
fight,  and  what  was  the  use  of  valor  now  ?  The 
fair  prize  was  in  the  dim  distance  traveling,  and 
why  war  any  more  ?  So  he  concluded  to  '  'cut  and 
come  again."  At  least  he  would  cut;  whether 
he  should  come  again,  was  a  coming  question.  He 
did  not  want  it  understood  that  he  would  run  away, 
so  he  leaped  upon  the  fence  and  turned  to  sneer 
at  Flamer,  and  put  his  thumb  upon  his  nose,  and 
worked  his  fingers  out  before  his  face,  and  looked 
him  in  the  eye,  as  much  as  to  say  that  this 


running 


Was  nothing  but  a  valorous  kind  of  cunning." 

— and  as  he  jumped  over  into  the  field,  he  ex- 
claimed : 

"  Don't  you  feel  like  you  was  leading  class,  old 
Flamer?" 

But  Flamer,  like  some  doctors  in  theology,  was 


1 34  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

more  bent  on  victory  than  piety  just  now.  So  he 
stopped,  and  a  sort  of  rapture,  not  exactly  heav- 
enly, lit  up  his  face  as  he  threw  the  rail  at  the  flying 
foe.  So  I  will  conclude  this  chapter  by  supposing 
that  "  the  best  of  men  relish  "  fighting, -as  well  as 
"  nonsense  now  and  then." 


SUE.  135 


CHAPTER  XV. 
i 
I 

SUE. 

While  matters  were  thus  progressing,  Philip  was 
not  permitted  to  be  a  quiet  spectator.  His  nervous 
budget  of  horse  flesh,  like  Job's  war  horse,  snuffing 
the  battle  afar  off,  and  finding  no  enemy  at  hand, 
began  to  exercise  her  combativeness  on  Flamer's 
sorrel  horse,  with  the  full  fury  of  her  heels.  But, 
while  old  sorrel  could  not  move  his  hoofs  as  rapidly 
as  the  filly,  yet  he  could  deal  a  heavier  blow  ;  and 
while  she  kicked  him  four  times,  before  he  got  his 
heels  in  range,  yet  one  blow  of  his  was  equal  to 
a  half  dozen  of  hers.  And  when  it  came  upon  her 
ribs,  she  shook  through  all  her  parts,  and  squealed 
with  amazing  power ;  and  in  her  rage,  seized  old 
sorrel  by  the  upper  lip,  till  he  roared  like  a  gang  of 
wolves.  Philip  did  his  utmost  to  quiet  them ;  but 
the  filly  danced  up  and  down,  and  made  desperate 
plunges  for  renewing  the  battle,  and  old  sorrel  pull- 
ed to  get  away,  as  if  disgusted  with  the  conflict, 
and  Philip  had  soon  to  determine  whether  to  hold 
to  the  filly,  or  to  the  horse.  As  his  fortunes  were 
somewhat  identified  with  the  fractious  little  mare, 
and  as  he  did  not  wish  to  be  responsible  for  the  loss 
of  another  horse,  and  as  old  sorrel  looked  as  if  he 


136  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

would  stay  in  the  neighborhood,  Philip  relieved  him 
from  his  service. 

Flamer  and  Force  being  in  possession  of  the 
field,  soon  made  their  way  on  to  Blunt's,  and  hitched 
their  horses,  and  walked  into  the  house. 

Blunt  was  pacing  the  floor  in  great  agitation, 
and  his  daughter  was  sitting  in  a  rocking  chair,  with 
bonnet  and  traveling  dress  still  on,  and  the  traces 
of  perplexity  and  tears  on  her  face. 

"Yes,  yes,  you  was  going  to  run  off  with  that 
scoundrel,  eh?" 

"  He's  not  a  scoundrel,  Pa ;  "  and  she  turned  her 
eyes  toward  her  father  with  a  desperate,  determined 
look,  as  much  as  to  say,  "  I'll  have  him  yet  in  spite 
of  you." 

"  It  was  the  father's  blood  looking  in  the  father's  face." 

"Shut  your  wicked  mouth;  I  tell  you,  he  is  a 
scoundrel,  or  he  wouldn't  have  tried  to  steal  you 
away  from  me." 

Blunt  pushed  his  heavy-set  fingers  through  his 
hair,  and  then  ran  his  thumbs  into  his  jacket  arm- 
holes,  and  shut  his  mouth  very  tight,  and  his  lips 
pouted  out  and  upward,  and  he  drew  his  nose  away 
up,  and  swung  his  elbows  back  and  forth,  and  set 
his  heels  down  solidly  on  the  floor,  and  went  on : 

"You  needn't  tell  me  he's  not  a  scoundrel;  I 
tell  you  he's  a  thief,  to  try  to  steal  my  child." 

"  He  didn't  try  to  steal  me,  I  went  of  my  own 
accord,  and  I'll  go  again,  when  I  get  a  chance." 


SUE.  137 

"  My  goodness,  gracious;  it's  too  much;  what's 
got  into  the  child  to  treat  me  that  way,  after  all  the 
trouble  of  raising  you.  You  know  Bob  Scates  is 
no  account,  on  the  face  of  the  earth.  If  he  was 
good  for  anything  in  the  Lord's  world,  I'd  say  go, 
or  I  would  have  you  marry  at  home ;  but  Bob  is  a 
trifling,  lazy,  drinking,  swearing  rascal. " 

"  I  never  saw  him  drink,  nor  heard  him  swear, 
and  he's  as  good  as  any  young  man  about  here." 

Sue  looked  red  and  threatening,  and  was  ready  to 
choke  with  rage  and  chagrin,  and  did  not  seem  to 
notice  that  any  one  was  present  but  her  father ;  and 
the  father  seemed  to  think  of  nobody  but  himself, 
his  daughter  and  Bob ;  and  Philip  feeling  ill  at 
ease,  went  with  Flamer  and  walked  about  the 
yard. 

"Of  course,  he  wasn't  drunk,  and  didn't  curse 
you,  when  he  was  trying  to  coax  you  to  run  away 
with  him  ;  where's  your  mother  ?  You  little  impu- 
dence." 

"She  went  over  to  Mr.  Blakes',  for  dinner." 

"Yes,  there  it  is,  I'll  venture  the  Blakes  had  a 
hand  in  this  business.  They  have  invited  your  mother 
over  there  to  eat  dinner,  while  I  was  gone,  and  then 
they've  put  Bob  up  to  running  off  with  you  ;  wasn't 
that  the  way  of  it,  say?" 

"I  don't  know." 

"  No,  of  course,  you  don't  know  anything ;  what 


138  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

in  the  name  of  sense  made  you  go  off  with  him, 
then?" 

"Because  I  wanted  to  go,  and  he  wanted  me." 

"  Why,  Sue,  my  child,  how  in  the  name  of  na- 
ture, can  you  want  to  go  off  with  such  a  fellow  as 
he  is?" 

"  I  don't  know;  but  I  want  to  go." 

"Why,  he'd  run  off  from  you,  like  as  not,  in  less 
than  a  month,  and  cuss  you  for  a  fool ;  and  then 
you  would  want  to  come  back  home,  and  your  rep- 
utation would  be  ruined.  Why  can't  you  be  con- 
tented at  home,  Sue  ?  I  will  do  anything  for  you, 
in  my  power,  rather  than  you  should  marry  that 
fellow." 

The  father  seemed  overcome,  and  drew  a  chair 
and  sat  close  by  the  side  of  his  child,  and  softened 
his  voice. 

"What  can  I  do  for  you,  Sue,  to  keep  you  from 
going  off  with  Bob?  It's  for  your  own  good:  you're 
only  about  seventeen,  and  you'll  see  the  day,  when 
you  will  wish  you  had  taken  your  father's  advice." 

The  daughter  yet  looked  sullen  and  obstinate,  and 
replied : 

"  I  don't  see  it  now." 

"My  child,  don't  talk  to  me  that  way,  you'll 
break  my  heart." 

"More  like  you'll  break  mine,  if  you  don't  let 
me  have  Bob." 

"Well, "and  Blunt's  voice  began  to  get  harsh 


SUE.  139 

again,  and  his  heart  showed  less  signs  of  breaking, 
"Bob  Scates  you  can't  have,  with  my  consent;  I 
would  sooner  see  you  shut  up  in  a  nunnery,  or  fol- 
low you  to  your  grave.  I  would  expect  nothing  else 
but  you  would  come  to  ruin." 

"  I  feel  like  I  would  come  to  ruin,  if  I  don't  get 
him." 

"  Is  my  child  crazy?  " 

' '  I  would  not  be  surprised  if  I.  was ;  but  if  I 
could  get  Bob  Scates,  I  would  come  to  my  right 
mind." 

"Yes,  I  guess  you  would  come  to  your  senses, 
but  it  would  be  too  late  to  do  you  any  good ;  you 
would  wake  up  before  long,  to  see  you  that  was 
ruined,  your  character  blasted,  society  despising 
you,  and  Bob  wishing  you  were  /dead,  and  you 
wishing  it  too." 

"  I  wish  I  was  dead  now." 

' '  My  child,  how  can  you  talk  that  way  ?  are  you 
losing  your  senses  ?  Is  your  reason  all  gone  ?  Have 
you  no  affection  left  for  your  father  and  mother  ? 
Will  you  murder  our  feelings  and  blast  our  hopes  ? 
Must  I  see  my  dear  child  go  from  my  house,  with 
the  curse  of  God  upon  her  ?  Great  God,  let  me  be 
taken  away  before  I  meet  this  calamity." 

The  man's  great  frame  shook  all  over,  and  he 
bowed  his  head,  and  the  great  tears  ran  over  his 
cheeks.  At  sight  of  this  Sue  was  conquered,  and 
spoke  up  in  a  tone  of  submission  and  persuasion : 


140  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"  Oh,  Pa,  don't  cry,  1  am  not  worth  crying  about ; 
scold  me,  call  me  hard  names,  do  any  thing,  but 
don't  give  away  that  way,  on  my  account,  I  can't 
stand  it,  now  don't. 

' '  I  would  be  willing  to  go  out  and  cry  a  week, 
if  I  could  save  you  from  this  ruin." 

"Well,  Pa,  don't  worry  over  it  any  more,  let  us 
arrange  it  some  way.  I'll  agree  never  to  try  to  run 
off  with  Bob  again,  and  will  not  marry  him,  -till  you 
consent,  if  that  will  suit  you." 

These  words  were  scarcely  out  of  her  mouth  be- 
fore the  father  had  her  in  his  arms,  and  was  praying 
all  manner  of  heavenly  and  earthly  blessings  upon 
her,  and  thanking  her,  and  thanking  the  Lord  at 
the  same  time ;  and  then  it  was  Sue's  time  to  cry. 

After  the  first  violence  of  her  feelings  had  sub 
sided,  and  she  had  wiped  her  tears,  she  straightened 
and  Philip  says,  she  looked  grand,  as  she  said  : 

' '  Now,  Pa,  it  is  no  use  to  say,  that  I  do  not  like 
Bob ;  and  it's  no  use  to  say,  that  I  don't  want  him, 
for  I  do.  But  now,  my  word  is  out,  and  I  will  not 
marry  him  till  you  are  willing.  He  may  not  be  as 
good  as  you  want  him  to  be,  so  you  must  help  me 
to  make  him  better." 

"  I  am  afraid  I  can't  help  you  much,  my  child." 

' '  You  will  not  lay  any  thing  in  the  way,  will 
you?" 

"Of  course,  I  will  not  hinder  you." 


SUE.  141 

"  If  I  cannot  get  him  to  be  something  near  what 
you  want  him  to  be,  I'll  give  him  up.  But  I  be- 
lieve the  material  is  in  him.  I  believe  he  will  do 
almost  any  thing  for  my  sake." 

' '  Well,  my  child,  make  your  own  plans,  after 
your  promise.  But  understand,  I  have  precious 
little  faith  in  those  fellows  that  reform  for  the  sake 
of  getting  married." 

"Give  us  a  fair  trial,  Pa;"  and  Sue's  hope  was 
so  high  that  she  almost  looked  triumphant. 

"  Well,  my  daughter,  we  will  say  no  more  about 
it  now ;  here  is  Brother  Force,  our  young  preacher. " 

' '  Miss  Blunt,  I  am  glad  to  meet  you  ;  I  am  hap- 
py to  see  that  you  and  your  father  have  come  to  an 
understanding  ;  I  hope  your  difficulties  will  all  be 
amicably  settled,  and  that  both  your  wishes  may  be 
gratified." 

"I  think  they  will  now.  I  have  more  faith  in 
this  case  than  Pa." 

' '  Your  affections  are  stronger  for  the  person  you 
desire  to  benefit;  hope  is  a  powerful  support  to 
faith  in  any  enterprise." 

"  As  you  are  our  preacher,  Brother  Force,  and 
you  will  have  an  opportunity,  I  wish  you  would 
help  me  ;  "  and  she  looked  at  Philip,  innocently  and 
confidingly,  as  though  she  had  known  him  from  his 
youth,  and  seemed  to  think  that  it  was  his  business 
to  relieve  difficulty,  and  scatter  trouble.  "I  hope 
you  will  take  pains  to  get  acquainted  with  Bob 


142  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

Scates,  and  induce  him  to  do  right,  so  that  pa  will 
like  him,  and  I  will  be  a  thousand  times  obliged  to 
you  ;  and  you  will  be  doing  good  besides.  I  know 
Brother  Flamer  will  help  me,  he's  always  doing 
good  to  some  one." 

' '  I  don't  know  so  well  about  that,  Sue,  Bob  hit 
me  an  awful  rap  over  the  shoulder  with  that  fence 
rail,"  said  Flamer. 

"  Well,  I  would  have  hit  you  too,  just  then.  But 
let  by-gones  be  by-gone s  ;  I  know  you'll  help  me  to 
get  Bob  straightened  up,  to  somewhere  near  my 
father's  standard." 

"  Certainly,"  said  Flamer,  "  I'll  forgive  him,  and 
do  anything  for  you  I  possibly  can." 

"And  you  may  rely  on  me,"  said  Philip,  "  to  do 
what  I  can  consistently,  and  with  your  father's  con- 
sent." 

' '  Oh,  yes,  go  ahead  ;  you  may  all  do  Bob  Scates 
all  the  good  you  can,  for  he  needs  it,  bad ;  but  my 
judgment  is,  you'll  find  him  hard  timber  to  work 
on ;  you  can't  make  fine  furniture  out  of  jack- 
oaks. " 

"Now,  Pa,  remember,  you  are  not  to  lay  any- 
thing in  the  way." 

"  And  you  must  not  forget,"  said  Flamer,  "  the 
power  of  religion  to  change  human  character  for 
the  better." 

"Exactly  so, "  said  Blunt,  v/ith  a  doubting  ac- 
cent; "but  if  Bob  is  changed,  it  will  be  more  for 


SUE. 


SUE.  143 

the  love  of  Sue  than  the  love  of  religion,  and  I 
have  not  much  faith  in  such  changes ;  but,  go  on,  I 
won't  hinder  you.  I  wish  you  success  as  Sue  is  so 
bent  on  him." 

Sue  rose  from  her  chair,  and  went  into  another 
room,  and  Blunt  continued : 

' '  Sue  has  been  one.  of  the  best  girls  in  the  world  ; 
pretty  like  her  mother,  and  self-willed  like  her 
father ;  but  generally  she  is  one  of  the  best  of 
daughters.  As  for  Bob  Scates,  he's  a  rakish  sort 
of  fellow ;  spends  all  he  makes ;  goes  to  all  the 
dances  and  frolics  he  can  get  to  ;  runs  horse  races, 
and  drinks  whisky.  I  never  saw  him  drunk,  but  he 
associates  with  them  that  do  drink,  and  now  you 
don't  wonder  that  I  was  opposed  to  having  Sue  tied 
to  such  a  fellow  for  life;  and  they  are  both  too 
young,  if  there  was  nothing  else  in  the  way." 

Philip  thought  of  what  Herodotus,  or  some  other 
old  Greek  had  said  about  the  stealing  of  Helen  from 
Troy.  It  run  about  thus :  ' '  First,  it  is  very  wicked 
to  steal  a  woman.  Second,  it  is  very  foolish  to 
make  a  fuss  about  such  a  theft.  Third,  for  I  have 
noticed  that  no  woman  is  ever  stolen  unless  she 
wants  to  be."  True,  now,  thought  Philip,  as  it  was 
three  thousand  years  ago. 


ii 


144  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER  XVI. 

IS   MAN   A   MORAL   AGENT  ? 

Sue  was  handsome,  one  of  nature's  beauties. 
Her  hair  was  as  fine  as  if  spun  out  of  sunbeams  and 
gold ;  her  eyes  were  as  blue  as  the  unclouded  skies, 
and  yet  there  was  fire  lurking  there.  Her  cheeks 
were  like  transparent  flowers  which  let  the  sun 
shine  through  them.  Her  eyebrows  and  eyelashes 
were  a  shade  darker  than  her  hair,  and  would  have 
served  as  a  model  for  a  painter.  Her  form  was 
almost  perfect  in  its  symmetry.  She  was  naturally 
graceful,  but  for  want  of  society  she  was  slightly 
lacking  in  ease  and  self-possession  among  strangers. 
When  fully  absorbed  and  excited  over  some  pur- 
pose or  plan,  she  lost  sight  of  all  constraint  or 
embarrassment,  and  seemed  to  be  an  embodiment 
of  natural  dignity,  grace,  beauty  and  force,  min- 
gled with  rather  too  much  of  her  father's  rough 
manner  of  speaking.  Self-will  smiled  in  the  curl 
of  her  lips  and  the  dimples  of  her  chin,  and  de- 
cision and  firmness  played  along  the  lines  of  her 
lovely  mouth. 

' '  Brother  Force,  you  and  Brother  Flamer  con- 
tent yourselves  here,  and  I'll  go  and  put  up  the 
horses." 


Is  MAN  A  MORAL  AGENT?  145 

'  No,  I  thank  you,  sir ;  I  am  going  home,  and 
Brother  Force  had  better  go  home  with  me,"  said 
Flamer. 

"No,  sir,  not  a  bit  of  it;  I  can't  spare  him  to- 
night," said  Blunt. 

' '  Come  when  you  can,  and  stay  as  long  as  possi- 
ble ;  my  house  is  a  home  for  you,  Brother  Force, 
at  all  times.  I  shall  be  always  glad  to  see  you," 
said  Flamer,  as  he  started  to  go. 

"Thank  you,  sir,"  said  Philip;  "I  shall  avail 
myself  of  the  privilege  whenever  convenient." 

"  Good  evening  to  all ;"  and  Flamer  shook  hands 
with  Philip  and  Blunt,  and  the  latter  walked  with 
him  to  the  door. 

"  Flamer,  did  that  rascal  hurt  you  much  when  he 
knocked  you  over?" 

"He  stunned  me  for  a  minute.  If  I  had  got  a 
pop  at  him,  I  would  have  laid  him  low ;  but  I  will 
not  meddle  with  him  any  further  if  he  will  let  me 
alone.  I  will  be  glad  if  he  ever  gets  good  enough 
for  Sue.  I  can't  see  what  there  is  in  him  to  make 
her  like  him  ;  but  there  is  no  telling  what  notions 
possess  the  girls  when  they  determine  to  marry." 

' '  That  is  so,  Flamer ;  if  there  is  any  fool  in  a 
girl,  it  comes  out  when  she  wants  to  marry.  But, 
then,  I  reckon  we  must  make  allowance  for  them, 
fo'r  I've  seen  some  old  widowers  that  acted  the 
double-distilled  fool  when  they  were  running  after 
their  second  or  third  wife,  as  if  the  Lord  had  left 


146  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

them  to  themselves  and  some  whimsical  devil,  to 
make  them  disgusting  enough  to  turn  any  ordinary 
stomach  ;  so  I  guess  we'll  have  to  give  the  young- 
sters a  little  margin." 

Flamer  started  in  haste,  and  made  no  reply,  and 
looked  soberly  down  his  nose,  with  his  front  toward 
the  open  door.  He  had  his  second  wife,  and  his 
face  was  turned  to  no  one  as  he  said : 

"  Good  evening  to  all." 

' '  Good  evening,  sir.  If  you  see  my  wife  on  the 
way  send  her  home,"  Blunt  called  out. 

In  a  few  minutes  Mrs.  Blunt  came  in,  bringing 
with  her  the  two  youngest  children.  Blunt,  -with  a 
hearty  welcome  in  his  face,  met  her  at  the  door. 

"Well,  Ruth,  you  came  very  near  losing  your 
daughter  while  you  were  over  at  Blakes',  visiting." 

"  How  so  ?"  said  the  mother,  alarmed. 

' '  Why,  Bob  Scates  had  started  to  run  off  with 
her,  and  I  just  happened  to  meet  them  at  the  end 
of  the  lane,  and  nabbed  Sue  and  brought  her  back ; 
but  she  has  promised  not  to  have  him  until  I'm 
willing. " 

The  mother  looked  relieved  and  thoughtful,  as 
she  replied  :  "I  am  not  certain  but  we  had  as  well 
be  willing  first  as  last,  for  when  young  people  get 
it  into  their  heads  to  marry,  it  seems  nothing  short 
of  death  can  stop  them  ;  you  cannot  convince  therh  ; 
you  might  as  well  try  to  convince  a  Baptist  to 


Is  MAN  A  MORAL  AGENT?  147 

sprinkle  his  babies.  I  suppose  it  is  nature.  I 
don't  know,  but  Bob  may  come  out  all  right ;  lie's 
a  good-hearted  fellow.  May  be  he'll  settle  down 
all  straight  when  he  is  married." 

' '  I  have  very  little  faith  in  him,  Ruth.  This  is 
our  young  preacher.  You  must  excuse  me,  Broth- 
er Force,  for  not  introducing  you  to  my  wife  when 
she  first  came  in ;  my  head's  almost  fuddled  over 
that  Bob  Scates  affair.  Brother  Force,  make  your- 
self at  home,  and  I'll  go  and  put  up  the  horses." 

"  I'll  go  with  you,  sir;"  and  Philip  laid  down  the 
old  newspaper  which  he  had  held  before  him  during 
part  of  the  conversation  that  had  been  going  on  for 
the  last  hour,  but  his  reading  was  a  sort  of  make- 
bclime. 

' '  No,  sir,  you  will  not  go ;  young  preachers 
must  study,  and  the  people  ought  to  help  them  to 
read.  Anybody  can  put  up  horses  and  tend  to 
them,  but  there  are  but  few  that  can  preach.  You 
will  get  plenty  of  exercise  riding  to  your  appoint- 
ments and  visiting  your  members ;  that  is  your  bus- 
iness. Let  them  tend  to  horses  that  make  it  their 
business;  you  stay  in,  sir." 

At  this  Blunt  picked  up  his  hat,  and  walked  out 
with  as  much  self-complacency  and  assurance  as  if 
he  had  settled  the  destiny  of  a  State.  Mrs.  Blunt 
busied  herself  hanging  up  her  own  and  the  chil- 
dren's clothing,  and  putting  the  room  in  order.  As 
her  father  went  out,  Sue  came  in,  looking  as  if  she 


148  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

had  been  taking  her  mother's  forbidden  fruit,  and  at 
the  same  time  made  a  decided  effort  to  bring  her 
countenance  to  indicate  innocence  and  independ- 
ence ;  but  the  presence  of  Philip  disturbed  her 
self-command. 

"You  got  back  safely,  mother?  How  are  they 
all  over  at  Mr.  Blake's." 

"  All  well,  except  the  old  grandmother;  she  has 
the  hypo  as  usual  and  seems  determined  to  be  un- 
happy when  others  are  in  a  good  humor,  and  growls 
when  other  people  are  glad." 

Mrs.  Blunt  looked  as  free  and  easy  as  if  all 
things  had  been  going  on  smoothly  during  her 
absence. 

' '  Oh,  that  is  nothing ;  she  is  always  finding 
fault  and  croaking,  and  takes  a  sort  of  pleasure  in 
making  herself  disagreeable.  She  thinks  there  is 
no  good  place  on  earth  like  Boston,  where  she  came 
from.  I  wonder  how  she  will  manage  when  she 
gets  to  heaven  for  something  to  be  disgusted  at. 
But,  then,  if  heaven  is  like  Boston,  I  guess  she 
will  be  satisfied." 

Sue  and  her  mother  now  passed  into  another 
room,  to  make  preparations  for  supper,  and  Philip 
concluded  to  "give  attention  to  reading.''  He 
drew  from  his  saddle-bags  the  first  volume  of 
"Watson's  Institutes,"  and  tried  to  banish  other 
thoughts  and  bend  his  mind  to  the  ideas  before 


Is  MAN  A  MORAL  AGENT?  149 

him.  But  the  evening  was  chilly,  and  between  the 
cold  and  thinking  of  the  novel  events  of  the  past 
few  days,  he  could  proceed  no  farther  than  the  first 
chapter.  He  gathered  from  it  that  there  must  have 
been  some  law  of  the  Creator  previous  to  all 
human  rules  and  observations,  which  law  of  the 
Creator  determined  the  quality  of  a  moral  action. 
Then  the  idea  was  forced  upon  him,  by  the  supe- 
rior power  of  the  cold  upon  his  body,  that  it  would 
materially  assist  him  in  thinking  if  he  would  build  a 
fire  in  the  old  ten-plate  stove  that  stood,  grim,  gloomy 
and  solitary,  at  one  side  of  the  room.  Accordingly 
he  went  out  to  the  wood-pile,  at  the  rear  of  the  house, 
but  found  no  stove-wood  prepared.  Being  bent, 
however,  on  the  pursuit  of  knowledge  under  diffi- 
culties, he  seized  the  ax,  and  commenced  on  some 
knotty,  jack-oak  poles,  to  convert  them  into  appro- 
priate fuel.  When  he  had  an  armful  ready,  Sue 
came  out,  seeking  for  something  to  raise  the  heat 
in  the  cooking  department,  and  was  gathering  chips 
into  her  basket,  at  sight  of  which,  Philip  insisted 
that  she  should  take  his  armful ;  and  he  proposed  to 
carry  it  in  for  her.  Of  course  she  objected ;  and 
of  course,  too,  Philip  paid  no  attention  to  her  ob- 
jections, excepting  that  he  felt  flattered,  and 
regarded  them  as  so  many  evidences  of  apprecia- 
tion of  the  favor  he  was  conferring. 

He   returned  and  renewed  his   attacks    on    the 
jack-oak  poles.      By  this  time  he  was  warmed  with- 


150  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

out  fire,  and  imagined  that  the  weather  had  mode- 
rated. Still  he  accomplished  his  purpose,  and 
carried  in  his  pile  of  stove-wood,  and  went  into  the 
kitchen  for  a  shovelful  of  live  coals.  Mrs.  Blunt 
protested  that  he  should  not  trouble  himself;  Mr. 
Blunt  would  attend  to  that  when  he  came  in.  But 
as  her  protestations  had  the  tone  of  apologies, 
Philip  proceeded  to  carry  out  his  plan.  He  pulled 
open  the  already  half-open  stove-door,  and  depos- 
ited the  glowing  coals  therein,  and  commenced 
laying  on  the  small  sticks  ;  and  being  desirous  of 
their  speedy  combustion,  he  came  down  upon  his 
knees,  and  stooping  forward,  made  a  bellows  of  his 
lungs,  and  the  smoke  rolled  up  in  clouds ;  and 
when  he  was  looking  for  the  blaze  to  break  out,  an 
old  cat  broke  out,  bounding  over  Philip's  head, 
scattering  ashes  and  smoke  in  his  eyes,  and  carrying 
a  kitten  in  her  mouth.  Philip  jumped,  for  he  was 
nervous  on  the  subject  of  cats,  and  for  the  moment 
he  was  not  certain  whether  the  kitten  was  in  his 
mouth  or  its  mother's.  After  he  had  sneezed  and 
coughed,  and  rubbed  the  ashes  from  his  eyes,  he 
renewed  his  puffing  and  blowing,  for  he  was  now 
determined  to  have  a  fire.  But  no  sooner  did  he 
get  in  position  for  the  second  blast  than  the 
old  cat  came  pitching  over  his  head  and  into  the 
stove  again,  and  was  out  in  an  instant  with  another 
young  cat ;  and  so  kept  on,  until  four  kittens  were 


Is  MAN  A  MORAL  AGENT?  151 

thus  taken  from  the  stove.  Philip  held  back  in 
amazement  at  this  grand  display  of  cat  affection 
and  fireworks.  By  this  time  all  he  could  remember 
of  the  first  chapter  of  "Watson's  Institutes"  was, 
"Man  a  Moral  Agent,"  and  he  was  not  certain 
whether  that  was  true  under  all  circumstances. 


152  THE  Two   CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER  XVII. 

DOCTOR  HEATEM,  THE  REFORMER. 

Philip,  having  the  stove  heated  to  his  mind,  sat 
down  to  the  consideration  of  the  second  chapter  of 
the  "  Institutes."  He  soon  came  to  a  note  in  the 
margin  quoted  from  ' '  Ellis'  Knowledge  of  Divine 
Things,"  &c,  and  here  he  stopped  to  talk  with  him- 
self: "I  wish  I  had  Ellis'.  What  breadth  of 
knowledge  can  a  man  obtain  from  a  pair  of  saddle- 
bags half  full  of  books?  But,  then,  I  read  some 
where,  or  I  heard  some  one  say,  that  a  few  books 
carefully  read  are  of  more  value  than  large  libraries, 
hastily  noticed  ;  that  a  man  is  more  likely  to  exer- 
cise his  own  thinking  powers,  where  he  has  but  few 
books  ;  and  whoever  was  the  author  went  on  to  say, 
'  A  few  books  and  much  observation  are  better  for 
training  the  mind  to  useful  thought,  than  many 
books  and  little  or  no  observation. '  What  precious 
observations  I  have  had  for  the  last  few  days.  They 
have  shown  me,  that  there  were  many  of  life's  pet- 
ty realities  that  I  knew  but  little  about.  I  have 
heard  it  said  somewhere,  that  it  is  what  we  call  pet- 
ty things  that  make  up  the  majority  of  life's  events. 
It  is  the  petty  tempers,  choices,  emotions  and  feel- 
ings of  the  heart,  that  combine  to  make  all  one's 


DOCTOR  HEATEM.  153 

history  black  or  bright,  and  a  nation's  and  world's 
history  too.  It  is  the  little  details  symetrically  and 
appropriately  arranged  that  give  grandeur  to  any- 
thing. But  I  would  like  to  know,  how,  in  the 
name  of  reason,  the  details  of  life,  I  have  met  for 
the  last  few  days  are  to  be  productive  of  any  grand 
or  useful  result.  Where  did  I  leave  off  in  this  book? 
That  girl  is  too  good  for  Bob  Scates.  But  I  must 
study  this  book.  Let  me  see,  '  Man  a  Moral 
Agent. '  There  comes  Blunt ;  what  a  curious  com- 
pound he  is.  I  was  told  that  the  life  of  an  itiner- 
ant afforded  an  excellent  field  for  study,  and  the 
application  of  the  truths  studied,  at  the  same  time ; 
it  is  my  experience  thus  far,  that  the  field  for  appli- 
cation is  far  wider  than  the  field  for  study." 

Blunt  bustled  into  the  room,  and  took  a  seat, 
assuming  the  popular  attitude  of  leaning  his  chair 
back  against  the  wall,  and  his  feet  upon  the  round, 
and  occasionally  he  would  rest  his  heels  on  the  top 
of  the. stove;  he  looked  the  picture  of  health  and 
contentment.  There  was  a  kindly  expression  lurk- 
ing under  his  hard-set  features  ;  and  the  more  you  be- 
came acquainted  with  him,  the  more  agreeable  did 
his  rugged  face  -and  home-spun  manners  appear. 
He  was  so  frank  and  out-spoken  at  times,  that  he 
seemed  to  have  but  a  slight  regard  for  the  feelings 
of  others ;  but  he  had  adopted  that  habit  in  imita- 
tion of  some  one,  whom  he  considered  a  great  man, 
who  like  Dr.  Johnson  had  acted  foolishly  in  that 


154  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

particular.  If  there  is  any  boorish  odclness,  or  ec- 
centric whims,  belonging  to  a  great  man,  these  will 
have  forty  imitators,  where  his  virtues  have  one. 

Blunt  with  all  his  independence,  assurance  and 
conceit  was  a  strong  believer  in  great  men.  A 
bishop,  with  him  was  the  reflex  image  of  one  of 
the  greater  Apostles,  and  their  sayings  were  as  ora- 
cular as  the  Proverbs  of  Solomon.  He  thought 
that  John  Wesley  was  divinely  inspired  ;  and  that 
Charles  Wesley's  hymns  were  equal  to  the  Psalms 
of  David ;  that  Adam  Clark  was  second  only  to  the 
writers  of  the  New  Testament ;  that  the  editor  of 
the  "Western  Christian  Advocate"  was  nearly  as 
infallible  as  truth  itself.  When  he  found  in  the 
"Advocate"  the  advertisement  of  a  patent  medi- 
cine, he  instinctively  felt  like  sending  for  a  bottle, 
that  its  virtue  might  add  to  the  vigor  of  his  already 
healthy  body.  He  even  thought  that  every  D.  D. 
in  his  church,  was  a  living  Cyclopedia  of  wisdom, 
theology  and  holiness ;  that  a  presiding  elder  was 
in  the  regular  succession  from  the  Evangelists ;  that 
the  preacher  in  charge  was  reaching  out  toward  the 
same  high  standards,  and  that  the  junior  preacher 
was  a  sort  of  embryo  growing  in  the  same  direction. 
While  he  made  free  to  talk  in  his  rough  manner  to- 
ward the  latter,  yet  it  was  not  because  he  was  lack- 
ing in  respect  for  him,  but  because  he  thought  the 
rude  style  would  impress  him  with  a  lively  sense  of 


DOCTOR  HEATEM.  155 

the  speaker's  importance,  and  that  it  would  be  re- 
garded as  a  sign  of  superior  native  talent. 


Nothing  unusual  occurred  till  the  hour  arrived  for 
the  meeting  the  next  day,  Thursday.  On  account 
of  the  rain,  and  the  drenching  at  Squillip's,  and 
other  causes,  Philip  had  taken  a  violent  cold.  Chill 
and  fever  flashed  and  darted  alternately,  through 
and  through,  and  up  and  down  his  whole  system. 
He  had  redness  of  eyes  and  nose,  as  if  they  were 
inflamed  by  the  heat  of  the  brain.  His  head  throb- 
bed and  ached,  and  his  pulse  beat  as  irregular  as 
the  swing  of  a  flower  shaken  by  the  breeze.  His 
nerves  were  excited  as  if  invisible  files  were  smooth- 
ing his  bones,  and  unseen  pincers  fitting  the  joints 
in  their  sockets.  His  stomach  was  burdened,  and 
his  sleep  disturbed.  There  was  a  vitiated  state  of 
fluid  about  his  eyes  and  nose,  and  elsewhere. 

From  all  this,  it  may  be  readily  supposed,  that 
Philip's  preaching  at  the  Spengler  Grove  Church,  was 
done  with  inconvenience  and  suffering.  Blunt  took 
pains  to  introduce  him  to  most  of  the  congregation  ; 
and  among  the  rest,  he  was  made  acquainted  with 
Dr.  Heatem,  who  was  regarded  by  many  as  the 
greatest  man  in  the  neighborhood.  This  doctor 
combined,  in  his  own  ponderous  person,  the  attri- 
butes of  physician,  farmer,  mechanic,  inventor,  re- 
former and  preacher,  and  various  other  and-so-forths. 


156  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

In  his  church  relations,  he  claimed  to  be  most  in 
harmony  with  what  he  called,  "The  Christian  Or- 
der;'' but  his  neighbors  called  him  a  "  Campbell- 
ite."  This  latter  appellation  grew  out  of  the  fact, 
that  Dr.  Heatem  was  wont  to  say,  that  Alexander 
Campbell  agreed  with  him,  on  Scripture  interpreta- 
tions, especially  on  the  great  question  of  water  bap- 
tism. 

As  there  were  none  of  Dr.  Heatem's  "  Christian 
Order,"  in  his  immediate  neighborhood,  he  was 
very  liberal  toward  the  Methodists,  and  generally 
accomodated  them  by  giving  their  preachers  the 
benefit  of  his  presence  at  their  appointments,  and 
they  returned  the  compliment  by  employing  Heatem 
to  do  their  doctoring. 

Heatem  appeared  to  have  been  born  a  reformer ; 
and  he  carried  his  disposition  to  re-form  things  into 
all  the  departments  of  his  life.  He  had  the  latest 
inventions  of  seven  defunct  patent  plows  piled  up 
in  one  corner  of  his  stable  lot ;  and  there  were  ex- 
ploded patent  corn-shellers,  and  corn-planters,  and 
fanning-mills,  and  harrows  laying  about  promiscu- 
ously in  the  fence  corners.  All  around,  inside  of 
the  house,  were  patent  candle-sticks,  apple-parens, 
sausage-stuffers,  sheep-shears,  churns,  washing  ma- 
chines, fly-killers,  goose-yokes  and  rat-traps.  He 
had  made  a  reform  on  the  old  fashioned  horse  col- 
lar and  hames,  for  which  he  intended  to  apply  for  a 
patent;  and  new  fashioned  traces  for  pulling  the 


DOCTOR  HEATEM.  157 

wagon  forward ;  and  a  patent  way  for  holding  it 
back ;  and  a  patent  machine  for  locking  it ; 
and  a  patent  greasing  machine  to  lubricate  the  spin- 
dle without  taking  off  the  wheels.  The  principal 
difficulty  with  this  last  mentioned  machine  was, 
that  most  of  the  grease  got  upon  the  outside  of  the 
hub.  Then  he  had  a  patent  hog-marking  machine, 
which  he  affirmed,  was  equally  well  adapted  to 
marking  cattle,  and  was  as  easily  worked  as  setting 
type.  He  had  patent  cooking  machines  for  boiling 
corn  and  rutabagas  for  stock.  Most  of  these  patent 
articles  were  his  own  inventions,  and  he  soon  ex- 
pected to  realize  a  large  fortune  from  some  of 
them. 

He  was  always  among  the  first  to  seek  an  intro- 
duction to  strangers,  who  might  come  into  the 
neighborhood ;  and  if  no  one  volunteered  to  intro- 
duce him,  he  would  suggest  it  to  some  of  his  friends, 
or  would  introduce  himself.  He  was,  in  many  re- 
spects, an  interesting  man,  and  could  make  himself 
agreeable,  and  withal  was  inclined  to  be  generous 
and  hospitable,  and  people  spoke  well  of  him,  and 
called  him  clever,  but  said  he  was  an  awful  bore  on 
all  reforms  and  patents. 

No  one  ever  went  to  his  house,  and  escaped  be- 
ing invited  into  his  log  shop ;  where  he  kept  his 
tools  for  constructing  reformed  machinery ;  and  kept 
many  books  on  reform  ;  and  where  he  had  shelved, 
and  laid  away  in  paper  bags,  and  old  stockings,  all 


1 58  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

the  latest  reformed  vegetables,  which  had  been  dis- 
covered by  the  reformed  school  to  be  the 
great  elixirs  for  the  prolongation  of  human  life. 
Before  he  would  allow  you  to  pass  out  from  his 
reform  office,  he  would  tell  you  of  the  great  prin- 
ciple of  perpetual  motion,  which  he  said  had  baf- 
fled the  inventive  genius  of  the  greatest  philoso- 
phers, but,  like  all  other  great  reforms,  was  "hid 
from  the  wise  and  prudent,"  and  was,  as  it  were, 
"revealed  unto  babes."  He  would  tell  you  how 
he  had  labored  upon  it  long,  and  brought  all  the 
powers  of  the  latest  reformatory  measures  to  bear 
upon  it,  till  at  last  the  wonderful  hidden  secret  had 
broken  upon  his  mind.  And  then  he  would  go 
off  into  a  magniloquent  discource  on  the  achieve- 
ments of  genius,  and  the  incalculable  debt  the 
world  owed  to  inventors.  With  your  mind  thus 
prepared,  he  would  lead  you,  with  the  assurance 
and  solemnity  of  an  ancient  priest,  to  one  corner 
of  his  log  shop,  and  carefully  lift  an  old  blanket, 
from  his  nearly  completed  machine.  Here  you 
beheld  something  that  looked  like  the  inside  works 
of-  a  clock,  and  a  small  saw  mill  combined,  with 
two  or  three  miniature  thrashing  machines  attached. 
.  No  ordinary  mind  was  expected  to  fathom  its  intri- 
cate and  marvelous  complications. 


HEATEM  AND   HIP.  159 


CHAPTER  XVIII. 

HEATEM      AND      HIP. 

On  the  shelves,  opposite  the  medicines,  were  the 
reform  books.  Foremost  among  these  were  the 
works  of  Dr.  Thompson,  who  was  the  chief  of  all 
the  steam  doctors,  and  the  powerful  advocate  for 
the  curative  agents,  lobelia,  steam  and  cayenne  pep- 
per ;  and,  according  to  Heatem,  the  most  profound 
and  distinguished  medical  reformer  of  the  age,  and 
before  whom  all  the  lights  of  allopathy  were  but  as 
the  stars,  that  'must  pale  before  the  sun.  And  here 
were  nearly  all  the  publications  of  "  Fowler  and 
Wells'-'  on  health,  gymnastics,  phrenology,  Fourier- 
ism,  free-love,  mesmerism  and  spiritualism.  And 
here  were  the  works  of  Andrew  Jackson  Davis, 
the  clairvoyant,  who,  Heatem  declares,  has  been 
nearer  heaven  than  Paul  was,  before  he  died,  and  saw 
nearly  as  much  of  the  Divine  mystery  as  Moses. 
And  near  to  these  were  Horace  Greeley's  "Hints 
toward  Reforms,"  and  a  file  of  the  "New  York 
Tribune."  It  is  Heatem's  opinion  that  Greeley 
ranks  next  to  Davis  in  the  catalogue  of  reformers, 
and  that  he  sees  nearly  as  much  while  he  is  awake 
as  Davis  does  while  he  is  asleep.  Near  at  hand 
was  a  volume  of  Joseph  Miller's  Lectures  on  th? 
12 


160  ,      THE  Two   CIRCUITS. 

end  of  the  world.  The  owner  of  the  volume  had 
great  faith  in  Miller,  and  although  he  missed  the 
fraction  of  a  cycle  or  two  in  closing  up  all  earthly 
affairs,  yet  he  thinks  the  grand  alarm  his  theory 
occasioned  was  productive  of  reform  ;  and  whoever 
is  a  reformer,  is  a  benefactor  of  his  race.  Here, 
also,  was  Jo  Smith's  "Book  of  Mormon."  Heatem 
says  that  Smith  was  doubtless  a  reformer,  but  his 
followers  have  not  produced  the  most  desirable 
kind  of  fruit.  The  theological  part  of  his  library 
consisted  of  the  works  of  Alexander  Campbell,  and 
a  file  of  the  "Millennial  Harbinger,"  and  the 
"Journal  of  Lorenzo  and  Peggy  Dow." 

Heatem  had  nearly  completed  a  machine  invent  ed 
by  him,  and  to  work  on  phrenological  principles,  to 
produce  a  well-balanced  brain.  It  is  to  be  applied  to 
the  heads  of  infants  in  such  a  way  that  all  the  good 
organs  will  be  allowed  their  proper  development, 
while  the  depraved  bumps  will  be  restrained  by  a 
nicely  adjusted  pressure  of  thumb-screws.  Heatem 
expected  to  have  fine  success  in  using  this  instru- 
ment in  connection  with  his  medical  practice.  He 
contends  that  the  brain  of  a  child  is  like  a  broken 
leg :  if  it  is  set  properly,  it  will  be  strong  and 
healthy  in  its  action ;  and  this  machine  was  to 
accomplish  that  desirable  result. 

Dr.  Heatem  had  with  him  a  young  student,  who 
occupied  his  time  in  compounding  medicines,  tak- 
ing care  of  the  horses  and  cows,  cutting  stove-wood, 


HEATEM  AND  HIP.  161 

keeping  the  office  in  order,  studying  medicine,  and 
studying  how  to  reform — not  himself,  but  the  world 
at  large.  The  name  of  this  young  medical  student 
was  Hippocrates  Sweatman. 

Now,  Dr.  Heatem  attended  the  preaching ;  and 
perceiving  that  the  young  man  who  was  striving  to 
address  him  was  laboring  under  a  violent  cold,  felt 
a  benevolent  inclination  to  reform  him.  He  could 
hardly  listen  with  patience  when  he  saw  the  imped- 
iments and  pain  of  the  speaker,  which  he  felt  him- 
self competent  to  remove  in  a  very  few  hours.  He 
had  a  kindly  longing  for  setting  in  order  and 
harmony  the  disordered  physical  functions  of  the 
young  orator. 

Philip  was  introduced  to  him  by  Blunt  as  soon 
as  the  benediction  was  pronounced.  The  doctor 
invited- him  to  his  house,  and  told  him,  in  a  sooth- 
ing manner,  that  he  should  be  cured,  sound  and 
well  by  the  next  morning ;  that  his  head  should  be 
as  clear  as  a  bell ;  his  mucous  membrane  purified  ; 
his  nerves  made  free  from  pain,  and  his  system  thor- 
oughly renovated,  and  so  he  would  be  better  quali- 
fied for  his  exalted  mission  here  below. 

Philip  required  but  little  persuading,  for  he  never 
had  been  troubled  much  with  sickness  during  his 
life,  and  so  knew  not  what  medical  treatment  he 
needed.  He  was  in  pain,  and  was  ready  to  adopt 
the  first  proposal  for  relief. 


1 62  THE  Two   CIRCUITS. 

"  Doctor  Heatem  is  just  the  man  to  make  you  all 
right,"  said  Blunt.  And  the  doctor  looked  kind, 
cordial  and  persuasive,  and  Philip  went  with  him. 

While  he  was  unhitching  his  little  filly,  Flamer 
came  riding  close  to  him,  and  stooping  over,  whis- 
pered in  his  ear: 

"  Brother  Force,  that  old  Heatem  is  an  old  hum- 
bug;" and  as  Flamer  was  trying  to  tell  him  more, 
in  the  same  strain,  Blunt  called  out  in  a  shrill,  loud 
voice,  that  he  and  the  doctor  were  waiting  for  him ; 
and  all  that  Flamer  could  say  further  was,  that 
Heatem  was  good-hearted  and  clever,  but  knew 
nothing  of  medicine.  Blunt  was  trying  to  hold  his 
mettlesome  horse,  waiting  for  Philip,  while  Heatem 
had  gone  on  to  give  an  old  lady  medical  advice  con- 
cerning her  daughter,  who  was  troubled  with  the 
rickets. 

The  doctor's  house  consisted  of  three  rooms,  or 
rather,  three  log  houses,  joined,  or  disconnected  (as 
you  please),  by  a  sort  of  hall  or  pass- way,  covered 
by  clapboards.  One  of  these  rooms  was  the  doc- 
tor's office,  as  already  described ;  the  second  and 
front  one  was  the  setting  room  and  bed  room,  and 
the  third,  which  set  back  by  the  side  of  the  office, 
was  the  kitchen  and  dining  room,  with  two  beds 
in  it. 

Philip  was  ushered  into  the  front  room,  and  was 
introduced  to  Mrs.  Heatem,  a  very  tidy,  plain, 
amiable  looking  woman ;  and  to  the  daughter,  Lucy 


HEATEM  AND   HIP.  163 

Stone  Heatem,  a  modest,  comely  young  lady  of 
eighteen ;  and  to  Hippocrates  Sweatman,  the  medi- 
cal student.  Hippocrates,  who  was  usually  called 
Hip,  was  a  short,  heavy-set,  fat  and  flabby,  sallow- 
visaged  individual  of  nineteen  summers,  who 
reached  his  hair  and  picked  his  teeth  with  a  goose- 
quill  when  he  talked,  and  moved  slowly,  and  was 
hardly  ever  known  to  sit  in  the  presence  of  stran- 
gers. His  method  of  resting  was  by  leaning  against 
the  bed  or  wall,  or  hanging  to  the  mantle  with  one 
hand  and  lifting  one  foot  at  a  time,  like  a  tired 
horse. 

' '  Mr.  Force,  take  a  seat,  sir,  in  my  new,  patent, 
fanning,  fly-scattering  rocking-chair. " 

' '  Thank  you,  Doctor ;  this  is  ceartainly  a  new 
invention,"  said  Philip,  as  he  seated  himself. 

'  'That  is  one  of  my  own  inventions,  Mr.  Force.  It 
is  a  great  labor-saving  machine.  You  will  perceive 
that  under  the  seat  is  a  pair  of  bellows,  which 
rise  and  fall  as  you  rock  the  chair.  There  is  a  rod 
extending  from  the  bellows  to  the  floor,  and  at  the 
end  of  the  rod  is  a  roller  ;  and  as  you  rock,  the  bel- 
lows work  up  and  down.  From  this  bellows  there 
is  a  tin  tube  extending  up  the  back  of  the  chair, 
till  it  comes  opposite  the  cranium,  where  arms  of 
the  tube  branch  out  in  each  direction,  till  they 
come  on  each  side  of  your  face.  By  another  in- 
genious arrangement,  I  transform  these  arms  into 
fly-brushes,  which  will  keep  every  insect  from 


164  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

your  countenance ;  that  is,  if  you  keep  the  chair  in 
a  state  of  rocking  agitation." 

' '  This  is  certainly  a  very  curious  contrivance, 
Doctor. " 

"It  will  add  very  much,  Mr.  Force,  to  luxurious 
ease  and  comfortable  living  in  sultry  weather,  and 
when^ies  and  mosquitoes  are  troublesome." 

The  doctor  now  turned  to  Hippocrates,  who  was 
hanging  to  the  rough  mantle  with  one  hand,  and 
picking  his  teeth  with  a  goose-quill,  and  looking 
with  wonder  and  admiration  at  the  rocking-chair. 

' '  Hip,  I  want  you  to  prepare  a  quart  of  strong 
composition  for  Mr.  Force.  He  has  come  to  spend  the 
night  with  me,  and  take  a  thorough  course  of  medi- 
cine ;  so  you  will  bring  that  composition  in  just  as 
soon  as  you  can  by  any  possibility  do  so. " 

Hip  set  down  his  foot,  and  went  out  to  obey 
orders. 

' '  Mr.  Force,*  I  would  be  gratified  to  have  you 
visit  my  office  while  my  young  student  is  getting 
the  tea  ready,  if  you  think  it  will  not  disturb  the 
peace  and  quietude  of  your  physical  system." 

They  went  in,  and  Philip  was  shown  all  the  books, 
and  medicines,  and  inventions ;  and  last,  and  most 
important,  in  the  doctor's  esteem,  the  perpetual 
motion.  This  done,  they  walked  back. 

By  this  time  the  composition  tea  was  ready  and 
set  by  the  fire  on  some  coals,  in  a  large  queensware 
bowl,  covered  with  a  calico-colored  saucer. 


HEATEM  AND    HIP.  165 

"Brother  Force,  you  will  please  excuse  me  for  not 
being  able  to  enjoy  your  society  all  this  afternoon, 
as  I  have  some  important  professional  visits  to 
make;"  and  Heatem  stooped  over  the  tea  and 
poured  some  in  the  saucer,  and  commenced  blow- 
ing it  before  he  rose  up  fully,  and  continued  his 
remarks,  stooping  and  blowing  at  each  punctuated 
point  in  his  sentences  : 

"I  want  you  now,  Brother  Force,  to  drink  all 
this  tea  that  your  stomach  will  contain,  between 
now  and  dark.  If  you  should  desire  more  than 
there  is  here,  Hip  will  prepare  it  for  you.  In  re- 
gard to  this  tea,  Mr.  Force,  you  will  be  careful  to  bear 
in  mind,  the  greater  the  abundance,  the  nobler  the 
consequences  ;  please  to  remember  that  last  remark, 
for  the  amount  is  vejy  important.  You  will  also 
be  careful  to  keep  in  the  house,  Mr.  Force ;  and 
if  you  feel  inclined  to  rest,  you  will  repose  upon 
one  of  these  couches  here." 

He  now  arose  to  his  feet,  still  blowing  at  the 
saucer  and  touching  it  with  his  lips,  to  see  if  it  was 
cool  enough  to  drink ;  and  looked  so  comfortable 
and  happy  that  Philip  thought  it  must  be  agreeable 
tea. 

"Hip,  you  will  bring  in  more  wood,  and  keep  a 
warm  fire,  and  see  that  Mr.  Force  has  all  the  tea 
he  needs." 

Hip  started  for  the  wood,  and  Mrs.  Heatem  and 
her  daughter,  Lucy,  passed  out  with  him. 


1 66  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"What  a  man's  system  needs,  Mr.  Force,  is 
heat.  The  great  leading  principle  of  this  reform 
school  is  this,  'Heat  is  life,  and  cold  is  death. '  You 
may  have  noticed,  Mr.  Force,  that  when  a  man 
dies  he  is  always  cold ;  so  if  you  can  keep  the  heat 
in  a  man,  there  is  very  little  possibility  of  his 
dying." 

"  How  does  your  theory  hold  in  fever,  Doctor  ?" 
' '  The  best  in  the  world,  sir ;  we  add  heat  to  heat 
till  it  culminates  into  perspiration,  and  exudes  from 
the  cuticle.  Men  always  lose  their  fever  before 
they  die ;  it  is  one  of  the  great  truths  of  nature  and 
nature's  God,  that  '  Heat  is  life,  and  cold  is  death. ' 
You  will  now  try  a  portion  of  this  life-giving  tea, 
remembering,  the  more  the  quantity,  the  finer  the 
effect ;"  and  the  doctor  held  out  the  saucer  invit 
ingly,  and  Philip  arose  to  receive  it ;  and  not  being 
in  the  habit  of  taking  medicine,  he  tried  to  obey 
orders  to  the  letter.  He  filled  his  mouth  to  its 
utmost  capacity  and  gave  a  great  swallow,  when 
instantly  he  rushed  to  the  fire-place,  reminding  you 
of  forty  bottles  of  ginger-pop  foaming  at  once,  or 
the  successive  explosions  of  a  pack  of  Chinese  fire- 
crackers. The  composition  flew  from  his  mouth 
and  nose,  and  tears  from  his  eyes,  and  Philip  affirms 
that  the  hot  water  ran  out  of  his  ears,  and  he  jerked 
and  danced,  and  cracked  his  throat  as  if  in  a  spasm 
of  whooping-cough,  and  thought  of  the  Psalms, 
where  they  speak  of  "hailstones  and  coals  of  fire. " 


HEATEM  AND  HIP.  167 

The  doctor  appeared  disgusted,  and  remarked  : 
' '  Mr.  Force,  you  must  summon  your  determina- 
tions and  have  more  decided  control  over  your 
muscular  powers,  or  the  cold  will  never  be  eradi- 
cated from  your  system ;  'Heat  is  life,  and  cold  is 
death.'" 

"  My  dear  sir,"  said  Philip,  endeavoring  to  com- 
pose himself,  ' '  I  think  it  is  eradicated  now  ;  I  feel 
as  if  I  would  not  be  cold  again  for  a  month." 

"Your  view  is  seriously  erroneous,  Mr.  Force. 
It  is  evident  to  me  that  you  are  a  stranger  to  the  in- 
fallible virtue  of  the  reform  practice." 

His  voice  assumed  the  tone  of  dignified  rebuke 
and  patronizing  wisdom,  and  his  countenance  indi- 
cated sympathy  for  suffering  and  pity  for  ignorance. 

"I  would  convey  to  you  the  intelligence,  Mr. 
Force,  and  my  age  and  experience  should  give 
weight  to  what  I  say,  that  this  reform  treatment,  if 
taken  in  its  fullness,  will  permeate  your  whole  sys- 
tem, and  disembogue  the  coagulated  ducts,  and 
purify  the  lacteals  and  rejuvenate  your  whole  con- 
servatory. I  would  enjoin  upon  you,  therefore, 
that  you  introduce  into  your  stomach  all  contained 
within  that  bowl,  ever  bearing  in  mind,  Mr.  Force, 
that  heat  is  life,  and  cold  is  death." 

' '  Why,  sir,  I  would  as  soon  swallow  a  pound  of 
red  pepper,  and  wash  it  down  with  aqua-fortis. " 

' '  There,  again,  you  would  see  a  very  wide  and 
material  difference,  Mr.  Force.  Allow  me  to  in 


1 68  THE  Two  CIIRCUTS. 

duce  you  to  try  another  saucer  of  this  tea ;  and  a 
few  more  persistent  and  resolute  efforts  and  your 
great  repugnation  will  be,  in  a  measure,  sur- 
mounted." 

Philip  would  have  given  half  his  saddle-bag 
library  to  have  the  progress  of  this  reform  treat- 
ment stopped,  and  his  cold  allowed  to  take  its  natural 
course.  But  as  he  had  committed  his  case  to  Dr. 
Heatem,  he  thought  it  would  be  hardly  courteous 
to  abandon  him  now ;  so  he  made  an  effort  to  fol- 
low his  directions,  and  began  to  sip  cautiously  from 
the  saucer,  reminding  you  of  a  rat  approaching  the 
bait  of  a  trap. 

After  the  doctor  had  extorted  a  promise  from 
Philip  that  he  would  swallow  all  the  tea  he  could 
during  the  afternoon,  he  left  him  to  himself  and  his 
own  reflections.  Philip  says  that  he  forced  into 
his  stomach  about  a  pint  of  the  burning  tea,  and 
the  other  pint  he  spilled  in  the  fire-place. 


HEAT  is  LIFE — COLD  is  DEATH.  169 


CHAPTER  XIX. 

• 

HEAT  IS  LIFE — COLD  IS  DEATH. 

Hippocrates  would  call  in,  now  and  then,  to  wit- 
ness the  progress  of  affairs,  and  see  that  the  needs 
of  the  patient  were  supplied.  Philip  requested  a 
cup  of  cold  water. 

"The  Old  Doc.  don't  allow  any  one  that  is  tak- 
ing composition  tea,  to  drink  cold  water;  you  can 
have  some  warm  water  if  you  like  it." 

"  Hump,  that  would  be  refreshing,  truly." 

Hippocrates  held  to  the  mantle,  and  stood  on 
one  foot,  and  his  eyes  sparkled  with  delight  as  he 
looked  on  Philip  drinking  composition. 

"  Heat  is  life,  Mr.  Force,  don't  you  feel  it  rami- 
fying your  whole  system  ?  " 

' '  I  feel  as  if  my  stomach  was  rammed  with  pep- 
per pods  and  hot  water." 

"  It  will  entirely  recuperate  your  system,  Mr. 
Force;  this  is  hardly  a  beginning;  you'll  see  sights, 
and  think  you  eat  'em,  before  you  get  through. 
Composition  is  a  baby  to  lobecty,  but  it  will  be  the 
makin'  o'  your  consertution. " 

"  A  man  ought  to  have  a  constitution  like  a  Sal- 
amander, to  endure  this  tea,  without  being  con- 
sumed ;  if  lobelia  is  worse  than  this,  I  would  rather 


170  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

be  excused  from  taking  it,  especially  in  this  connec- 
tion ;  one  at  a  time,  if  you  please." 

"I'll  leave  it  to  yourself,  when  you're  takin'  the 
iobeely,  which  is  the  .post  delicious.  Shall  I  make 
you  another  bowl  of  this  tea?  " 

"  Not  a  drop  more  ;  I  thank  you." 

It  was  now  nearly  dark,  and  Dr.  Heatem  made 
his  appearance. 

"  How  do  you  come  on,  Mr.  Force,  drinking  the 
tea?" 

"  I  think  it  is  all  gone,  sir." 

"  Ah  !  Hip,  you  will  prepare  another  bowl,  about 
half  full ;  I  want  the  stomach  filled  to  its  utmost 
capacity,  with  this  truly  noble  tea." 

' '  I  would  not  choose  another  particle  of  it ;  I 
am  very  much  obliged  to  you,  indeed,  Doctor," 
said  Philip. 

' '  When  persons  are  sick,  Mr.  Force,  they  do 
not  fully  comprehend  what  is  to  their  greatest  ad- 
vantage. Hip,  you  will  put  a  table  spoonfull  of 
Number  Six  into  the  next  bowl  of  tea." 

An  exulting  smile  played  upon  the  face  of  Hip 
as  he  slowly  retired  to  obey  orders ;  and  Philip  be- 
gan to  feel  like  a  martyr  doomed  to  the  stake.  The 
second  bowl  with  the  Number  Six  attachment  was 
produced,  and  Philip  was  solemnly  directed  to  drink 
of  it,  as  much  as  possible.  He  had  supposed  that  the 
Number  Six  would  be  some  kind  of  a  mollifier  of 
the  former  heat;  but  no,  it  was  like  adding  pitch 


HEAT  is  LIFE — COLD  is  DEATH.  171 

to  a  hot  fire.  Philip  consumed  as  much  of  this 
second  bowl  as  he  could  not  smuggle  into  the  fire- 
place. 

Heatem  and  Hip  having  finished  their  suppers, 
brought  lights  and  sundry  medical  necessities  into 
Philip's  room. 

' '  Hip,  you  will  arrange  and  prepare  the  split- 
bottomed,  medical  chair,  and  the  iron  bake-oven, 
and  put  the  rocks  in  the  fire  to  heat  up,  and  put 
plenty  of  coals  under  the  tea  kettle." 

"Yes,  sir." 

' '  Mr.  Force,  I  never  knew  a  single  intelligent 
individual  that  took  a  thorough  course  of  the  reform 
medical  treatment,  but  what  became  a  zealous  ad- 
vocate of  the  same.  It  has  rescued  many  a  hopeless 
case  from  an  untimely  grave.  It  is  slightly  unpleas- 
ant to  the  patient,  at  first,  but  in  its  final  wind-up, 
it  leaves  no  mineral  deposits  in  the  bones  or  bow- 
els ;  you'll  come  out  with  an  excellent  appetite,  and 
in  a  delightful  serlubrious  condition." 

Hip,  having  arranged  the  needed  articles  in  their 
proper  places,  Heatem  continued : 

"Now,  Mr.  Force,  divest  yourself  of  all  your 
raiment,  and  have  this  blanket  pinned  about  your 
neck." 

Philip  obeyed,  and  the  Doctor  was  precise,  dig- 
nified and  patronizing. 

' '  Hip,  you  will  hand  me  the  chair ;  there,  set 
down  in  this,  Mr.  Force.  Be  careful  to  notice, 


i/2  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

Hip,  that  the  blanket  comes  down  close  to  the  floor 
all  around ;  Mr.  Force,  you  will  keep  the  blanket 
pinned  close  around  your  neck,  leaving  no  open 
space  for  the  cold  to'strike  in;  for  heat  is  life  and 
cold  is  death.  You  will,  in  a  few  short  hours,  feel 
like  a  new  man,  entirely;  you  will  be  ready  to 
'  mount  up  on  wings  as  eagles. '  Hip,  you  will  pay 
very  strict  attention  to  my  directions :  you  will  now 
insert  the  iron  bake-oven  under  the  chair  of  the  pa- 
tient, and  be  careful  not  to  elevate  the  blanket  any 
higher  than  you  can  help ;  now  pour  the  hot  water 
from  the  tea  kettle  into  the  oven." 

The  moisture  and  gentle  heat  from  the  hot  water 
was  rather  enjoyable,  and  Philip  thought  that  the 
better  part  of  the  reform  treatment  had  come.  In 
a  few  moments, .by  the  direction  of  Heatem,  Hip 
took  the  tongs  and  brought  one  of  the  red  hot  rocks 
from  the  fire,  and  insinuated  it  under  the  blanket 
into  the  old  skillet  of  water,  and  the  steam  flew  up 
fiercely,  and  so  did  Philip,  to  the  height  of  a  foot ; 
and  he  floundered  about,  like  a  huge  fish,  just  pull- 
ed from  the  water. 

"Mr.  Force,  you  will  endeavor  to  remain  quiet ; 
you  will  disarrange  the  animal  heat." 

"I  am  no  animal,  I  thank  you;  you  are  not 
scalding  hogs,  sir.  I'm  boiled,  Doctor,  from  my 
ankles  up." 

And  Philip  thought  of  Shadrach  and  Abednego 


HEAT  is  LIFE — COLD  is  DEATH.  173 

in  the  furnace,  and  of  the  beloved  Apostle  in  the 
chaldron  of  boiling  oil. 

"Mr.  Force,  you  are  undoubtedly  mistaken, 
your  nerves  are  very  much  disturbed.  I  have 
steamed  hundreds  of  people,  and  never  boiled  any- 
body yet.  Always  bear  in  mind,  heat  is  life  and 
cold  is  death." 

And  the  Doctor  stood  upon  the  folds  of  the 
blanket,  and  Hip  stooped  down  to  hold  it  to  the 
floor;  but  occasionally  Philip  would  kick  out  a 
small  hole  to  let  in  the  cool  air.  After  they  had 
put  in  another  rock  or  two,  and  Philip  had  made 
as  many  plunges  toward  the  ceiling,  Heatem  took  off 
the  blanket  and  told  him  to  stand  up,  and  he  would 
make  all  the  heat  go  into  the  vital  parts,  where  it 
ought  to  be,  and  where  it  would  invigorate  the  sys- 
tem, and  drive  all  cold  away.  As  soon  as  Philip 
stood  up,  a  bucket  of  cold  water  was  poured  over 
his  head,  and  the  effect  in  producing  bounding  and 
jumping,  was  equal  to  the  effect  of  the  steam.  And 
Philip  says,  he  felt  as  if  some  one  had  struck  him 
with  an  icicle,  and  knocked  him  from  the  torrid  zone 
into  Symms'  Hole ;  and  he  thought  of  Milton's  de- 
mons, who  felt 

"  by  turns  the  bitter  change 


Of  fierce  extremes,  extremes  by  change  more  fierce, 
From  beds  of  raging  fire,  to  starve  in  ice." 

Heatem  and  Hip  now  attacked  Philip  with  coarse 


174  THE.  Two  CIRCUITS. 

towels,  and  rubbed  him  till  every  pore  felt  as  if  it 
was  filled  with  salt  and  pepper. 

"That  will  do,  I  thank  you  ;  be  kind  enough  not 
to  rub  the  skin  off  me.  " 

"  This  kind  of  friction  is  indispensably  necessary, 
Mr.  Force,  to  bring  out  the  heat  to  the  cuticle,  and 
thus  preserve  an  equilibrium.  There,  I  presume 
that  is  a  sufficiency ;  you  will  now  put  on  your  shirt 
and  drawers,  and  lay  down  in  that  bed,  sir." 

"Thank  you,  Doctor;  I  feel  better,  and  if 
it  will  suit  your  convenience  just  as  well,  sir,  I 
would  prefer  that  this  performance  should  end  here. " 

"That  idea  cannot  be  entertained  for  a  moment, 
Mr.  Force ;  the  mention  of  ending  the  treatment 
here,  shows  how  erroneous  your  ideas  are  ;  the  whole 
mucous  membrane  of  your  stomach  needs  purifica- 
tion, and  that  can  only  be  done  by  that  noble  anti- 
dote, lobelia." 

By  the  word,  "noble,"  Philip  imagined  that  there 
might  be  something  pleasant  about  it,  so  he  resigned 
himself  to  his  fate. 


THE  REFORM  TREATMENT.  175 


CHAPTER  XX. 

THE    REFORM    TREATMENT. 

"Hip,  you  will  place  the  tub  on  the  chair,  by 
the  side  of  Mr.  Force's  bed  ;  and  hand  me  the  jar 
of  lobelia,  and  a  tea-cup  half-full  of  warm  water. 
Let  me  examine  your  pulse,  Mr.  Force.  Ah, 
you'll  be  all  right,  sir,  after  you  have  taken  this  ex- 
hilerating  emetic,  and  you'll  have  a  devourin'  appe- 
tite. Hip,  did  you  tell  Mrs.  Heatem  to  have  some 
toast  and  chicken  ready  for  my  patient,  when  his 
appetite  rises?  " 

"How  long  before  it  rises,  Doctor,"  said  Philip. 

"I  think,  sir,  it  will  be  up,  inside  of  an  hour, 
more  or  less.  Now,  Mr.  Force,  I  want  you  to 
drink  this  medicine,  and  do  not  stop  to  investigate, 
question,  look,  smell  or  taste ;  the  tea-cup  is  only 
about  two-thirds  full,  you  will  endeavor  to  take  the 
whole  dose  without  removing  the  cup  from  your 
lips." 

It  was  done  nearly  that  way ;  and  in  a  moment 
or  two,  Philip  began  to  be  as  sick  as  if  he  had 
swallowed  the  contents  of  a  snuff-box. 

"Good  heavens,  Doctor,  you  have  killed  me, 
this  time;  I  never  was  so  sick  in  my  life,  sir;  such 
nausea,  such  loathsome  distress." 


176  THE  Two   CIRCUITS. 

"Be  as  calm  as  you  can,  Mr.  Force,  it  discovers 
the  immensely  disorded  state  of  your  stomach  ;  it 
will  remedy  itself  in  a  few  minutes ;  when  you  feel 
like  ejecting  anything  from  your  interior,  you  will 
hold  your  head  over  this  tub." 

Now,  Philip  had  not  vomited  since  the  days  of 
his  infancy ;  and  had  even  forgotten,  as  to  that ;  his 
system  seemed  to  rebel  against  it ;  he  felt  deathly 
sick ;  great  drops  of  sweat  stood  out  all  over  him  ; 
for  a  full  half  hour  he  rolled  about  the  bed  in  agony ; 
he  would  raise  up  and  fall  over,  and  writhe  and 
sneeze  and  gasp,  and  his  muscles  would  become 
distorted,  and  he  would  collapse  and  condense,  ex- 
pand and  contract,  and  his  nausea  grew  worse  and 
worse. 

"I  think  I  shall  have  to  administer  to  you  an- 
other dose,  Mr.  Force. " 

"  My  soul,  Doctor,  my  stomach  is  moving  like  an 
earthquake,  now.  I  shall  die ;  you  had  as  well 
send  for  the  Coroner,  now,  I  shall  never  see  the 
daylight  again  ;  whew !  mercy  !  " 

"  You'll  emerge  from  this  momentous  occasion, 
like  the  Phoenix  from  its  ashes,  straight  as  a  ramrod, 
and  clean  as  a  new  rifle.  You  will  now  admit  an- 
other dose  into  your  stomach,  it  will  fix  you." 

"Yes,  yes,  I  think  it  will  fix  me;  "  said  Philip 
convulsively;  "but  I  guess  I'd  as  well  take  it,  as  I 
am  gone  beyond  all  hope." 


THE  REFORM  TREATMENT.  177 

The  first  dose  was  like  an  earthquake,  and  this, 
added  thereto,  was  like  an  earthquake  and  volcano 
combined,  and  yet  there  was  no  eruption.  Heat- 
em,  for  a  few  moments,  was  perplexed. 

"I  never  knew  a  stomach  admit  so  large  an 
amount  of  lobelia  as  yours,  and  not  make  a  success- 
ful effort  to  reject  it.  Hip,  you  will  bring  me  a 
saucer  half-full  of  warm  water,  and  a  piece  of  sal- 
eratus  the  size  of  a  walnut ;  which,  I  think,  Mr. 
Force,  will  cut  your  bile,  and  thus  allow  the  lobelia 
to  perform  its  noble  functions." 

Philip  was  bounding  and  floundering,  as  if  he 
were  in  a  bed  full  of  hornets. 

"Wrath  and  destruction,  Doctor,  do  as  you 
please ;  nothing  can  make  me  worse.  Oh,  dear 
me,  I'll  swallow  anything  that  promises  relief.  Mer- 
cy, I  shall  burst  with  this  awful  load  on  my  stom- 
ach." 

"Now,  Mr.  Force,  I  will  introduce  into  your 
digestive  organs,  this  alkaline  mixture ;  it  will  dis- 
integrate the  acidity  of  your  duodenum,  and  cut 
your  bile ;  and  the  bile  cut,  you'll  have  immediate 
relief." 

"  If  there  is  any  relief  in  it,  let  me  have  it  quick, 
whew !  " 

And  sure  enough,  almost  as  soon  as  Philip  had 
swallowed  it,  the  contents  of  his  stomach  began  to 
rush  from  his  mouth  and  nose,  and  Philip  declares, 
that  no  small  quantity  came  from  his  ears  and  eyes. 


1 78  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

Heatem  whirled  him  across  the  bed,  and  tucked  his 
head  under  his  arm  as  in  a  vice.  Hip  jumped  on 
top  of  the  bed,  and  wedged  the  toes  of  the  patient 
in  the  cracks  between  the  logs,  to  keep  him  from 
going  up ;  and  all  that  was  within  him  was  called 
upon  to  come  out;  he  even  thought  at  the  time 
that  every  joint  of  his  back-bone  would  pitch  through 
his  throat ;  he  says,  he  felt  as  if  some  infernal  ma- 
chine had  been  run  through  him,  and  was  fastened 
on  the  lower  part  of  him,  and  was  jerking  him  wrong 
side  out.  Every  time  he  sent  out  a  fresh  volley, 
Hip  would  give  Philip's  toes  an  extra  shove  into 
the  crack  between  the  logs,  and  talk  to  himself: 

"That's  beautiful,  that  shows  the  perdigious 
power  of  the  reform  practice ;  he'll  want  to  eat  po- 
tatoes and  fat  meat,  in  half  an  hour." 
'  Just  here,  one  of  Philip's  feet  escaped  confine- 
ment, and  in  turn  tried  to  kick  Hip's  head  into  the 
crack,  but  only  succeeded  in  barking  his  nose  on 
one  of  the  logs.  Hip  finally  gathered  it,  with  the 
other,  in  his  arms,  and  wedged  them  in  as  before, 
his  mind  still  contemplating  the  workings  of  the 
reform  practice. 

"That'll  expurgate  his  duodenum,  and  rectify  his 
diertetical  repository." 

"  Hippocrates,"  said  Heatem,  "  I  want  you,  par- 
ticularly, to  notice  the  remarkable  workings  of  this 
superb  system  ;  "  and  Philip  nearly  jerked  his  head 
from  under  his  arm;  "you  will  please  maintain  as 


THE  REFORM  TREATMENT.  179 

great  quietness  as  possible,  Mr.  Force ;  Hip,  you 
will  perceive  how  the  perspiration  exudes  from  the 
cuticle ;  you  will  also  perceive  the  perdigious  pro- 
jectile power  of  the  stomach ;  it  is  the  centre  of 
the  inner  man :  the  tabernacle  of  the  heart,  and 
the  very  centre  of  physical  power,  and  nothing  so 
moveth  this  centre  to  mighty  working,  as  that  in- 
valuable curative  agent,  lobelia.  Mr.  Force,  don't 
you  feel  like  you  were  nearly  through?" 

' '  Through !  I  should  think  I  was,  to  all  intents 
and  purposes,  "  said  Philip,  languidly;  and  out  came 
another  libation  to  the  reform  practice. 

"Ah!  I  perceive,  Mr.  Force,  that  all  the  defile- 
ments of  your  alimentary  canal  are  not  entirely  ex- 
purgated." 

"Whew,  another  such  expurgation  and  I  am 
gone,"  said  Philip,  convulsively,  and  exceedingly 
prostrated ;  "I  feel  as  if  my  legs  had  started 
to  come  through  my  mouth." 

"  I'll  hold  your  legs,  Mr.  Force  ;  "  and  Hip  gave 
them  another  punch  into  the  crack. 

Heatem  laid  Philip  back  on  the  pillow,  and  Hip 
straightened  his  feet  down  in  the  bed  and  covered 
them,  and  went  to  the  mantle  and  held  to  it  with 
one  hand,  and  rested  on  one  foot,  and  picked  his 
teeth  with  the  goose  quill. 

Heatem  stood  by  the  side  of  the  bed,  looking  as 
if  he  were  about  to  read  the  funeral  service  over  a 


i8o  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

grave,  and  at  the  same  time  was  greatly  resigned  to 
the  dispensation  of  providence,  and  proceeded  to 
remark : 

"The  human  stomach,  Mr.  Force — Hippocrates, 
you  will  pay  attention  to  my  words,  they  are  to 
profit  you  in  after  years ;  "  and  Hip  pricked  up. 
like  a  horse  looking  for  something  to  frighten  him  ; 
— "I  was  going  on  to  say,  the  human  stomach  is 
enormously  carpacious;  its  heights  and  depths, 
lengths  and  breadths,  in  all  their  profundity,  were 
never  explored  and  revealed,  until  brought  to  light 
by  the  unparalleled  power  of  lobelia.  Now,  men 
can  truly  and  understandingly,  say,  '  we  are  fearful- 
ly and  wonderfully  made ; '  and  he  put  his  hands  on 
his  hips,  and  looked  Philip  full  in  the  face,  as  he  lay, 
weak  and  panting  upon  his  pillow.  "When  you 
perceive,  Mr.  Force,  the  vast  amount  contained  in 
your  alimentary  receptacle,  you  will  know  that, 
that  poet  was  a  conservative  old  fogy,  who  said : 

1  Man  wants  but  little  here  below. 
Nor  wants  that  little  long.' 

It  is  very  clear,  from  man's  receptive  carpacity, 
(here  he  brought  his  hands  together,  and  pressed 
them  on  the  lower  button  of  his  jacket)  that  he 
wants  a  perdigious  great  deal." 

"I  have  received  far  more  than  I  want,"  said 
Philip. 

"In  some  respects,  Mr.  Force,  your  remark  is 
correct;  but  the  world  of  mankind  at  large,  has 


THE  REFORM  TREATMENT.  181 

never  been  sufficiently  reformed,  to  equalize  wants 
and  supplies." 

"I  shall  not  feel  that  the  world  is  equalized,  till 
I  see  you  trying  to  contain  a  gallon  of  pepper  tea, 
and  a  pint  of  water,  thickened  with  lobelia,  and 
then  stirring  it  up  with  a  gill  of  dissolved  saleratus, 
and  then  I  want  the  satisfaction  of  boiling  you  for 
half  an  hour  over  a  skillet  of  water  and  hot  rocks." 

"If  you  were  skilled  in  the  reform  practice,  Mr. 
Force,  and  my  system  was  as  seriously  infected  with 
defilement  as  yours  was,  I  would  be  "delighted  to 
submit  to  this  grandest  and  most  efficacious  rem- 
edy;  "  and  Heatem  kindly  wiped  the  moisture  from 
Philip's  brow.  "  Do  you  feel  like  eating  now?  " 

"No,  sir;  I  do  not  feel  that  I  would  have  any 
appetite  for  a  month." 

' '  I  expect  to  see  you  eat  a  hearty  supper,  before 
I  lay  down.  Hip,  you  will  go  and  tell  Mrs.  Heat- 
em,  that  my  patient  is  now  quiet,  in  bed,  and  that 
I  desire  that  she,  or  Lucy  Stone,  should  bring  in 
the  chicken  and  toast,  that  the  renovated  powers  of 
his  stomach  may  have  some  palatable  substance  on 
which  they  can  play,  to  invigorate  the  flaculent 
system." 

"Yes,  sir;"  and  Hip  went  out. 

Mrs.  Heatem  and  Lucy  soon  made  their  appear- 
ance with  a  very  attractive  looking  supper ;  and 
Philip  was  so  urged,  upon  all  sides  to  partake  of 
it,  that  he  feebly  submitted.  He  rather  admire-' 


1 82  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

the  Doctor's  handsome  daughter,  and  was  pleased 
with  his  kind  and  amiable  wife,  and  thought  that 
Heatem  was  possessed  of  many  kindly  feelings, 
and  that  even  Hippocrates  was  a  good  natured 
dunce ;  yet  from  that  day  till  now  Philip  has  an 
abhorrence  of  professional  reformers ;  and  when- 
ever he  sees  one  of  them,  in  any  department  he 
has  a  strong  desire  to  administer  to  them  a  thor- 
ough course  of  the  reform  treatment. 


SNUBBED.  183 


CHAPTER   XXI. 

SNUBBED. 

Philip  was  roused,  in  the  morning,  from  his  fitful 
slumbers  by  Blunt,  Heatem  and  Hip  coming  into 
his  room. 

"  Good  morning,  Brother  Force.  How  are  you 
this  morning  ?" 

' '  Good  morning,  Brother  Blunt ;  I  feel  as  if  I 
had  been  fighting  with  the  beasts  of  Ephesus,  and 
that  the  beasts  were  too  many  for  me;"  and  Philip 
turned  over,  as  if  a  prairie  wolf  had  seized  him  in 
the  back.  "How  are  you  and  all  the  family, 
especially  Sue  ?" 

"All  well,  sir." 

"Mr.  Force's  system,"  said  Heatem,  "was 
perdigiously  deranged,  Mr.  Blunt,  and  there  was  a 
tremenjus  necessitary  for  a  thorough  course  of  medi- 
cal treatment." 

' '  The  course  has  been  so  thorough,  Doctor,  that 
I  think  I  will  not  want  another  during  a  lifetime," 
said  Philip. 

' '  How  did  you  like  it,  Brother  Force  ?  You  felt 
elegant  after  it  was  over?"  and  Blunt  looked  as  if  he 
wanted  to  be  kind  and  consoling,  and  as  if  he  felt 
elegant  himself.  • 


184  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

'  Yes,  I  feel  elegant  as  a  frozen  man  would  when 
thawed  to  life;  as  a  burned  child  pulled  from  the 
fire." 

"He'll  be  entirely  recuperated,  Mr.  Blunt,  when 
he  partakes  of  a  little  nourishment." 

The  breakfast  was  soon  announced,  and  after 
Philip  had  eaten,  Blunt  offered  his  services  to 
accompany  him  to  the  next  appointment.  Dr.  and 
Mrs.  Heatem  and  Lucy  Stone  protested  against  his 
leaving  the  house  that  day. 

"  I  would  prefer,  Mr.  Force,  that  you  would 
remain,  and  let  me  invigorate  your  flaxulent  system 
with  some  of  my  serlubrious  tonics,  and  thus  give 
strength  to  your  renovated  powers." 

Philip  declined  to  partake  of  the  serlubrious  tonics  ; 
and  after  thanking  the  household  for  their  kindness, 
in  company  with  Blunt,  went  on  to  his  appointment, 
five  miles  distant. 

"  Here  is  the  place,  Brother  Force.  This  old 
brother  is  rich ;  look  at  those  stacks  of  hay,  and 
that  big  barn,  and  the  flocks  of  sheep,  and  the 
herds  of  cattle  and  hogs  ;  and  he  has  more  than  a 
thousand  acres  of  the  best  land  in  the  county.  He 
has  but  little  taste,  however,  for  the  hog-lots  and 
wood-pile  are  in  front  of  the  house." 

The  dwelling  was  a  two-story  brick,  with  a  porch 
extending  the  whole  length  of  the  front.  On  this 
porch  were  old  saddles,  harness,  bags  of  grain, 
balls  of  carpet-rags,  spinning-wheels,  huge  bundles 


SNUBBED.  185 

of  wool,  pumpkins,  squashes,  apples,  onions, 
spades,  doubletrees,  axes,  grubbing-hoes,  scythes, 
ox-yokes,  tubs,  washboards,  and  old  barrels  run- 
ning over  and  empty,  and  various  other  things. 
An  aisle  was  left,  barely  large  enough  to  admit 
persons  into  the  door. 

"  Come  in  ;"  and  Philip  and  Blunt  walked  in. 

' '  Good  morning,  Sister  Grabdime ;  how  are  you 
all  this  morning  ?" 

"  Wall,  jist  middlin'  like.  Take  a  cheer,  both  of 
ye."  And  Mrs.  Grabdime  hardly  moved  in  her 
seat,  and  kept  on  sewing ;  nor  did  she  lift  her  spec- 
tacles, but  simply  turned  her  head,  with  as  much 
unconcern  as  if  two  of  her  own  children  had  come 
in  the  door.  And  when  Blunt  introduced  Philip  to 
her,  she  carelessly  repeated,  "Take  a  cheer,  both 
of  ye."  And  they  helped  themselves  to  a  cheer, 
and  drew  up  to  the  fire,  for  the  air  was  chilly,  and 
Philip  was  shivering. 

"  Mr.  Blunt,  didn't  ye  see  nothin'  of  my  ole  man 
as  ye  come  down  the  lane?"  and  she  never  raised 
her  head,  but  sewed  away  on  the  linsey  dress  she 
had  in  hand. 

"  I  saw  nothing  of  him,  madam." 

' '  That's  cur'us ;  he  went  up  there  to  look  after 
some  colts.  I  guess  he'll  be  back  d'reckly. " 

"All  right,  Sister  Grabdime;  I  can  put  up  our 
horses.  Brother  Force  is  not  well ;  he  took  a 
course  of  medical  treatment  at  Dr.  Heatem's  last 


1 86  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

night,  so  I  came  with  him  to-day,  to  take  care  of 
him,"  and  Blunt  rose  to  his  feet,  and  ran  the  fingers 
of  his  left  hand  through  his  hair,  and  pushed  his 
lips  up  and  out  as  if  his  dignity  was  rising. 

And  Mrs.  Grabdime  pushed  her  needle  through 
the  linsey  dress  as  if  she  had  a  spite  at  the  cloth, 
and  jerked  it  out  as  if  she  was  wreaking  vengeance 
on  the  thread ;  and  remarked,  with  a  savage  snap, 
as  if  she  was  making  an  effort  to  bite  a  ten-penny 
nail  in-two : 

"We're  not  havin'  meetin'  to  our  house  now, 
any  more." 

' '  Oh,  I  was  not  aware  of  that.  Where  is  it  to  be 
held  ?  We  supposed  it  was  at  your  house,  as  it 
was  last  year." 

"No,  sir;"  she  still  appeared  to  bite  the  nail. 
"  We  got  mighty  tired  havin'  meetin'  to  our  house 
an'  feedin'  nearly  all  the  people  an'  their  hosses ; 
an'  it  made  so  much  dirt  and  muss,  an'  tuck  so 
much  time,"  and  the  old  woman  looked  straight  at 
her  sewing,  and  drove  the  needle  as  if  she  were 
punching  holes  in  leather. 

Philip  began  to  feel  for  his  hat,  and  Blunt's  lips 
went  up  and  his  eyebrows  came  down,  and  the  end 
of  his  nose  rose  up  toward  them. 

"Where  do  you  propose  to  have  the  meeting, 
Sister  Grabdime?"  - 

"I    don't   propose  nuthin'  about  it,   and    don't 


SNUBBED.  187 

know  where  they'll  have  it,  and  don't  care.  The 
ole  man '11  be  in  d'reckly;  mebby  he  kin  tell  ye." 

"What made  you  have  it  taken  from  your  house?" 

"I  tole  ye  wunst  'twas  too  much  bother,"  and 
with  great  vigor,  .  she  pushed  her  spectacles  up 
against  her  eyes,  and  gave  the  needle  an  extra 
punch.  "  An'  then,  to  be  plain,  the  ole  man  didn't 
like  the  last  preacher,  and  I  didn't  like  him  nuther  ; 
he  was  so  hidebound  that  he  wouldn't  ernounce  after 
meetin'  that  we  had  honey  for  sale ;  an'  he  was 
allus  talkin'  about  the  children  havin'  larnin,  an' 
hopin'  people  would  build  a  school  house'  by  taxin' 
them  that  didn't  want  'em  ;  an'  was  every  now  and 
then  fussin'  about  'scribing  for  newspapers,  when 
we  don't  read ;  an'  kept  jawin'  about  folks  not 
buildin'  a  meetin'  house,  as  much  as  to  say  our 
house  wasn't  good  enough  for  him.  An'  he  jawed 
the  old  man  because  he  kept  bitters  in  the  house ; 
and  if  I'd  been  him,  I'd  a-broke  the  bottle  over  one 
preacher's  noggin. " 

Philip  says  that  when  Mrs.  Grabdime  made  this 
last  remark  she  looked  at  him  as  much  as  to  say  if 
he  opened  his  head,  she  would  prove  it  to  him. 
By  this  time  Philip  had  his  hat  in  his  hand,  and 
turning  to  Blunt  suggested  that  they  look  after  the 
place  of  meeting.  But  Blunt  was  inclined  to  fur- 
ther conversation  with  Mrs.  Grabdime,  and  in- 
quired: 

"Where  do  you  have  meeting  now?" 


1 88  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

' '  I  told  you  this  twiste,  now,  that  I  don't  know 
an'  don't  care,  an'  haint  hearn  nobody  say.  We 
kept  meetin'  to  our  house  long  enough,  and  I'd 
never  had  it  here  in  the  fust  place  if  I'd  a'had  my 
way.  But  the  ole  man  uste  to  think  the  preachers 
was  pretty  nigh  angels,  but  I  knowed  they  wasn't." 

Here  Blunt  tried  to  put  in  a  word,  but  she  was 
too  fast  for  him. 

"Don't  talk  to  me,  Blunt,  till  I'm  done.  When 
you  preachers  get  us  to  meetin',  ye  say  what  ye 
please,  and  a  body  like  me  haint  no  chance  to  say 
nuthin' ;  I'm  talkin'  now.  I  was  sayin'  that  the 
ole  man  uste  to  think  religin  was  better' n  anything 
else;  that  grass  wouldn't  grow,  and  water 'd  turn 
bitter  if  he  didn't  pray  and  have  preachin'.  But  I 
knowed  better ;  but  I  didn't  say  nuthin'  for  a  good 
while,  an'  let  him  have  his  way,  an'  let  the  preach- 
ers blarney  him,  an'  it  tickled  him,  an'  made  me  mad. 
But  I  didn't  let  'em  know  it,  till  they  had  a  dis- 
tracted meetin'  to  our  house  for  more'n  two  weeks, 
an'  kept  the  house  full  most  o'  the  time,  an'  I  got 
so  mad  I  jist  tole  the  ole  man  that  that  meetin'  cost 
us  more'n  twenty  dollars,  an'  he  was  fool  enough  to 
say  it  did  him  twenty  dollars  worth  of  good.  But 
after  while  I  argyed  him  out  of  it,  an'  showed  him 
that  prayin'  wasn't  money,  preachin'  wasn't  makin' 
money,  an'  meetin'  to  our  house  was  a-losing 
money ;  an'  all  this  to  do  about  religion  was  jist 
takin'  money  out  of  our  pockets  an'  puttin'  none  in, 


SNUBBED.  189 

an'  there  'd  be  no  end  to  our  givin'  money  if 
the  thing  wasn't  stopped.  At  last  the  ole  man, 
like  a  pup,  got  his  eyes  open  an'  got  some  sense ; 
an'  we  jist  both  together  said  if  the  folks  about 
huyr  wanted  meetin',  they  could  get  some  place 
else  to  put  it." 

And  the  old  woman  laid  down  her  needle  and 
slapped  one  hand  on  her  sewing,  and  raised  her 
spectacles  with  the  other,  and  pushed  back  her  sun- 
bonnet,  and  turned  her  face  toward  Blunt,  with  an 
air  of  defiance  and  triumph. 

"Why,  Sister  Grabdime,  you're  going  crazy  on 
the  subject  of.  money." 

"Ye  needn't  Sister  me  much;  all  but  the  crazy. 
I'm  jist  comin'  to  my  senses;  there's  not  much 
sense  in  anything  but  money.  Give  me  the  money 
an'  you  take  the  religion,  an'  see  which'll  come  out 
ahead.  Religion's  a  mere  nuthin';  it  won't  buy  vit- 
tles,  nor  clothes,  nor  steers,  nor  won't  sell ;  an' 
won't  pay  debts,  an'  won't  build  yer  houses,  an'  get 
nuthin'  for  yer  back  an'  stomach." 

' '  Would  you  like  to  have  everybody  without  re- 
ligion, and  have  none  of  it  in  your  neighbood  ?" 

"  I'd  jist  as  lief,  an'  a  little  liefer." 

"Why,   Sister!" 

"kDon't  Sister  me,  if  you  please,"  and  she  looked 
as  if  she  could  shave  the  stubble  from  his  head  with 
a  butcher  knife,  and  cut  the  end  from  his  nose  with 
the  same  instrument,  and  do  it  with  pleasure. 


190  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"Well,  Mrs.  Grabdime,  then;  let  me  tell  you 
how  your  neighborhood  would  be  if  there  was  no 
religion  here.  Your  property  and  your  life  would 
not  be  safe,  and  your  neighbors  would  soon  come 
to  be  like  savages ;  and  people,  stronger  than  you, 
would  turn  you  out  of  your  house,  and  steal  your 
cattle  and  hogs,  and  eat  up  your  grain,  and  burn 
your  rails,  and  plunder  all  you've  got.  Where 
there  is  no  religion,  that  is  about  the  way  they  do. 
When  education  and  religion  prevail,  there  is  more 
peace  and  quiet ;  more  safety  to  women  and  chil- 
dren, and  more  security  to  all,  and  every  thing 
worth  living  for.  The  way  you  do,  and  if  your 
ideas  were  carried  out,  would  bring  us  all  back  to 
savages,  and  then  your  money  would  be  but  little 
account;  you  can't  enjoy  money  unless  you  have 
peace,  quiet  and  safety.  People  need  the  checks 
and  restraints,  and  the  culture  of  religion  and  edu- 
cation to  keep  them  in  proper  bounds ;  to  make 
them  respect  the  rights  of  their  neighbors.  I  am 
surprised,  Mrs.  Grabdime,  that  you  talk  as  you  do ; 
you  have  so  much  property,  and  so  many  children, 
and  so  much  at  stake." 

The  old  woman  looked  sullen  and  rather  baffled, 
and  turned  her  eyes  toward  Blunt  like  a  setting  hen, 
winking  at  the  sun,  and  Blunt  continued : 

"Look  at  some  of  the  people  that  don't  go  to 
meeting;  gamblers,  counterfeiters,  horse-stealers, 
drunkards,  and  lazy,  lounging  loafers.  Do  you  want 


SNUBBED.  191 

to  belong  to  such  a  crowd  as  they  are  ?    I  am  sorry, 
Mrs.  Grabdime^  that  you  have  backslid  so." 
"Thank  ye,  sir,  I  never  frontslid  much." 
"Well,  I'm  sorry,  anyhow,  that  you  have  come 
to  this  way  of  thinking,  for  it  is  the  wrong  way 
even  to  make  money,  and  the  sure  way  never  to 
enjoy  it;  and    the  sooner  you  get   out  of  it,  the 
better." 


192  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER  XXII. 

THE  GRABDIME  FAMILY. 

"Sail,  go  in  the  kitchen  an"  see  if  that  meat's 
boiled  dry."  And  Mrs.  Grabdime  kicked  the  fore- 
stick  in  the  fire-place,  with  a  full  mule  power,  and 
sewed  more  rapidly  and  spitefully  than  ever,  and 
pulled  her  sun-bonnet  down  over  her  face ;  and  Sail 
started  for  the  kitchen,  as  if  she  saw  no  necessity 
for  the  command,  yet  dared  not  disobey. 

To  all  human  appearance,  Sail  was  about  seven- 
teen years  old.  She  was  nearly  the  same  size 
around  the  waist,  as  around  the  shoulders.  Her 
only  display  of  clothing,  was  a  linsey  dress,  striped 
and  checkered  with  dingy  green,  yellow  and  black. 
It  was  buttoned  up  behind,  and  had  about  three 
breadths  in  the  skirt,  and  reached  within  ten  inches 
of  the  floor.  Her  eyes  were  grey  and  sleepy,  and 
her  large  lips  lay  loose  about  her  large  teeth.  She 
had  a  listless,  lounging  manner,  as  if  she  did  not 
care  whether  she  sat  up  or  laid  down,  but  would 
rather,  if  anything,  prefer  the  latter.  Her  hair  was 
the  color  of  unbleached  domestic,  slightly  scorched ; 
and  her  eyebrows  and  eyelashes  were  of  the  same 
hue.  Her  eyes,  nose  and  lips  had  the  appearance 
of  being  bitten  by  the  frost,  and  had  not  healed  up 


THE  GRABDIME  FAMILY.  193 

yet.  Previous  to  her  going  into  the  kitchen,  she 
had  sat  in  the  corner  of  the  room,  vainly  endeavor- 
ing to  make  some  imitation  of  feminine  graces,  for 
the  benefit  and  admiration  of  the  visitors. 

' '  Zedekiar,  you  go  out  this  minnit  and  fetch 
some  wood,  before  this  fire  goes  out;"  and  Mrs. 
Grabdime  made  another  plunge  at  her  sewing,  as 
her  growl  died  away. 

Zedekiah  was  a  worthy  mate  for  his  sister ;  but 
was  a  few  years  younger.  He  wore  a  dilapidated, 
low  crowned,  wool  hat,  which  was  large  enough  for 
a  man ;  and  several  holes  were  punched  through 
the  top  of  it,  and  his  flaxen  locks  were  pulled 
through  the  holes  as  far  as  the  roots  and  entangle- 
ments would  permit,  and  were  knotted  together 
with  cockle-burs  on  the  outside,  as  if  to  keep  the 
hat  from  blowing  off.  His  clothing  consisted  of 
tow-linen  shirt,  and  trowsers  of  the  same,  and  the 
latter,  in  places,  seemed  stiff  with  something  besides 
starch,  and  they  were  kept  from  inclining  down- 
ward by  a  solitary  suspender,  said  to  have  been 
made  of  the  same  kind  of  dry  goods  as  the 
breeches. 

Zedekiah  made  several  sleepy  yawns  before  he 
was  fairly  on  his  feet,  and  moved  as  if  he  was  un- 
der the  influence  of  morphine  ;  finally  the  lone  sus- 
pender, which  had  slipped  from  the  shoulder  to  the 
elbow,  was  hitched  up  into  its  proper  position,  and 
he  started  for  the  wood  pile,  and  it  was  supposed 


194  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

he  would  make  the  trip  and  return,  in  the  course  of 
an  hour.      Philip  ventured  to  inquire : 

"  Is  your  clock  right,  Mrs.  Grabdime?" 

"  Yes,  sir  ;  "  and  the  two  monosyllables  came  out 
as  if  two  bites  were  snapped  from  the  ten-penny 
nail. 

"Brother  Blunt,  let  us  look  after  the  place  of 
meeting." 

Philip  felt  as  if  this  was  the  roughest  welcome 
he  had  met  since  he  had  come  on  the  circuit. 

"I  thought  we  would  wait  till  Brother  Grabdime 
came  in  ;  probably  he  can  tell  us  something  about 
it." 

At  this  juncture,  Grabdime  made  his  appearance. 
He  was  a  tall,  raw-boned,  stoop-shouldered  man  ; 
and  by  turns  looked  meek  and  selfish,  savage  and 
soothing.  He  had  very  heavy  eyebrows,  and  his 
hair  was  iron  grey,  and  his  nose  was  long,  and 
pinched  together  at  the  nostrils ;  and  he  wore  a  red, 
flannel  shirt,  and  a  ragged  coat  and  pants  of  jeans, 
and  a  dirt-colored,  low-crowned  wool  hat,  and  cow- 
hide shoes. 

"Good  morn',  Blunt;"  and  he  shook  Blunt  by 
the  hand  in  an  absent-minded  kind  of  way. 

"This,  Brother  Grabdime,  is  Brother  Force,  our 
young  preacher." 

"How   de'do,  Brother  Force?" 

Philip  says,  that  he  witnessed  as  much  warmth 
and  cordiality  in  the  grasp  and  shake  of  Grabdime's 


THE  GRABDIME  FAMILY.  195 

hand,  as  he  would  have  witnessed  in  shaking  the 
old  coat-sleeve,  without  the  hand  in  it. 

He  seated  himself  by  the  fire,  and  kicked  the 
fore-stick,  and  coughed  fiercely,  and  took  a  large 
chew  of  tobacco,  and  doubled  himself  upon  a  split- 
bottomed  chair,  and  looked  like  a  loose  bag  of  rags, 
and  commenced  a  ferocious  ejection  of  saliva  under 
the  fore-stick. 

' '  I  am  told,  you  have  changed  the  place  of  meet- 
ing, Brother  Grabdime  ?" 

"  Wa-11,  ya-es ; "  what  he  lacked  in  vigor  of 
speaking,  was  more  than  made  up  in  the  vigor  of 
spitting;  "we  'lowed  as  how,  we'd  had  it  to  our 
house  long  enough ;  we're  gittin'  ole,  like,  and  it 
vas  gittin'  to  be  a  power  of  trouble." 

' '  Where  do  you  expect  to  hold  it  ?  I  believe 
you're  one  of  the  stewards?" 

"  Wa-11,  n-n-o-o,  ya-es  ;  I  don't  exactly  know." 

"  Ycr  not;  of  course  ycrnot;  yc  never  'greed 
to  sarve." 

"  I  know  it,  ole  woman  ;  don't  tar'  yer  clothes." 

"An'  ye  shan't  nuther;"  another  nail  was  snap- 
ped. 

"  I  tole  'cm  they  mout  have  it  in  my  ole  house, 
whar  I  ustc  to  live." 

"It  wants  a  quarter  of  eleven  o'clock,  now;  let 
us  go  over,  Brother  Grabdime." 

"Ya-es,  n-n-o-o,  I  hadn't  cal'clated  much  on 
goin'." 


196  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"  Oh,  come  and  go  with  us;  we  have  come  five 
miles." 

"D'ye  feel  like  goin',  ole  woman?" 

"No,  I  don't;  "  a  nail  bit;  "an*  you'd  a  great 
sight  better  be  lookin'  after  them  calves,  'stead  o' 
wastin'  an'  foolin'  away  yer  time  goin'  to  meetin'." 
And  she  kicked  her  foot  out  savagely,  from  under 
the  folds  of  her  dress,  and  the  shoe  was  stringless 
and  slip-shod,  and  the  hole  in  the  toe  opened  out 
like  the  mouth  of  a  dead  fish. 

"  Don't  tar'  yer  clothes,  ole  woman;  I  guess  I'll 
go,  Blunt ;  I'll  walk  across  the  fields,  an'  youens 
kin  ride  'round  the  road ;  I  want  to  look  after  some 
calves  'tween  huyr  and  thar. " 

Philip  and  Blunt  bid  good-bye  to  Mrs.  Grab- 
dime,  who  simply  responded,  "Good-bye,"  very 
sharply,  without  as  much  as  turning  her  eyes  to- 
ward them. 

There  was  a  slight  snow  upon  the  ground ;  and 
the  air  was  cool ;  and  Blunt  and  Philip  soon  made 
the  half  mile  around  the  fields  to  the  old  house  ap- 
propriated to  religious  service.  It  was  a  one-story 
log  tenement,  without  a  window ;  for  the  glass  and 
sash  had  been  removed,  and  clapboards  were  nailed 
over  the  openings.  The  front  door  stood  half-open, 
and  there  were  no  signs  of  a  congregation.  Some 
persons  had  been  there  a  few  days  before,  and  made 
some  rough  benches,  and  daubed  the  cracks  between 
the  old  logs  ;  and  no  small  share  of  the  daubing 


THE  GRABDIME  FAMILY.  197 

was  still  on  the  benches  and  floor.  The  calves  and 
sheep  had  made  a  shelter  of  the  establishment,  du- 
ring the  snow  storm  of  the  night  previous.  The 
boards  had  been  taken  off  the  joists  overhead,  and 
many  seams  of  sky  light  were  to  be  seen  through 
the  clapboard  roof;  and  the  walls  were  decorated 
with  innumerable  spider-webs,  and  mud-daubers' 
nests,  with  two  or  three  hives  for  hornets. 

Philip  busied  himself  pulling  splinters  from  the 
rails  of  the  fence  near  by,  while  Blunt  went  to  a  lit- 
tle cabin,  forty  rods  off,  for  fire  and  an  ax.  Brush 
and  rails  were  soon  cut  to  pieces,  and  the  old  tum- 
ble-down fire-place  was  soon  made  to  glow  with 
fervent  heat.  Blunt,  using  a  clapboard  for  a  shovel, 
scraped  the  dirt  and  mortar  from  the  floor  and 
benches,  and  brought  in  a  handful  of  hazel  brush 
and  weeds,  and  converted  them  into  a  broom,  there- 
with removing  the  thickest  of  the  dust  and  dirt ; 
and  he  and  Philip  sat  by  the  fire,  waiting  for  the 
"  streams  of  humanity  "  to  turn  in  that  direction. 

Two  wandering  hounds  introduced  themselves  first 
to  notice,  and  snuffed  around  the  room,  in  apparent 
scorn,  as  if  they  had  expected  better  accommoda- 
tions, when  they  attended  on  ministerial  service's. 
They  were  followed  by  four  curs,  a  rat-terrier,  and 
two  bull-dogs,  and  a  half  grown  Newfoundland 
pup,  and  they  all  began  to  interest  themselves,  by 
cultivating  their  social  qualities,  and  renewing  their 
former  acquaintance,  and  brought  their  enjoyment 


198  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

to  a  climax,  by  converting  the  room  into  an  arena, 
for  the  display  of  dog -gymnastics.  As  "coming 
events  cast  their  shadows  before,"  so  these  dogs 
had  preceded  their  masters  and  mistresses  ;  for  it 
was  not  long  before  twenty  or  thirty  persons  were 
seated  around  the  fire,  ready  to  hearken  to  the 
counsels  of  truth. 


DISCOURSE  ON  TABERNACLES.  199 


CHAPTER  XXIII. 

DISCOURSE    ON    TABERNACLES. 

According  to  previous  arrangement,  Blunt  occu- 
pied the  piilpit.  There  was  neither  chair,  nor 
stand,  nor  table,  nor  box,  nor  barrel,  nor  any 
such  thing  to  serve  for  a  book-board ;  there  were 
no  notes,  no  manuscript,  and  no  place  to  put 
them.  Blunt  brought  forth  his  hymn-book  from 
his  coat  pocket,  and  rose  suddenly  before  the  small 
crowd  and  announced : 

"  Our  hymn  is  found  on  the  397th  page;  short 
metre.  I  hope  all  the  congregation  will  join  in 

singing  : 

"  'How  beauteous  are  their  feet 
Who  stand  on  Zion's  hill.' " 

Blunt  started  the  tune  in  one  of  the  highest  keys 
ever  reached  in  mortal  song,  and  every  auditor 
except  Philip  did  their  utmost  to  scream  somewhere 
in  the  neighborhood.  When  he  gave  out  the  other 
two  lines,  either  from  his  love  of  variety,  or  from 
carelessness,  or  from  lack  of  capacity  to  keep  it 
right,  or  from  forgetfulness,  he  missed  the  tune,  and 
ran  off  on  a  common  metre.  But  by  main  force 
and  awkwardness  he  pulled  it  through.  And  when 
he  came  to  the  last  line  of  the  stanza, 
"  And  words  of  peace  reveal," 


2oo  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

he  was  assisted  out  of,  or  run  further  into,  his  con- 
fusion by  a  profound  howl  from  one  of  the  hounds. 
The  perspiration  on  Blunt's  face  and  neck  was  pro- 
fuse ;  the  fire-place  was  sending  out  considerable 
heat,  and  he  reached  back  his  stubble,  and  gave  out 
the  two  lines  of  the  second  stanza : 

"  How  charming  is  their  voice  ;" 

and  he  started  with  renewed  vigor  to  hunt  up  the 
first  tune  ;  and  after  he  had  blundered  and  roared 
through  the  first  line,  and  was  pushing  through  the 
second,  it  was  discovered  that  he  was  sweeping 
through  the  loftiest  notes  of  "  Old  Hundred,"  and 
he  blended  the  beauties  and  harmonies  of  two  or 
three  tunes  before  he  came  to  the  last  words. 
When  he  announced  the  third  stanza, 
"  How  happy  are  our  ears," 

(the  color  of  Blunt's  ears  did  not  indicate  perfect 
happiness)  a  large  man,  with  a  vast  mouth,  hurried 
to  take  the  lead  and  start  off  on  the  right  measure ; 
but  he  began  with  "Lennox,"  and  bounded  and 
struggled  and  closed  up  the  two  lines  with  the 
dying  notes  of  old  "Windham."  But  Blunt  perse- 
vered over  all  obstacles,  and  sang  the  final  two 
stanzas  appropriately,  and  made  an  appropriate 
prayer,  and  arose  and  announced  his  text.  By  this 
time  Grabdime  made  his  appearance,  and  seated 
himself,  shivering,  as  close  to  the  fire  as  possible. 
"My  text  is  found  in  the  Eighty-fourth  Psalm  and 


DISCOURSE  ON  TABERNACLES.  201 

first  verse,  '  How  amiable  are  tJiy  tabernacles,  0 
Lord  of  hosts  ! ' 

1 '  This  text  refers  to  the  place  where  the  Jews 
worshiped,  and  I  am  going  to  apply  it  to  the  place 
where  we  worship  ;  not  that  it  would  be  true  to  call 
this  old  trap  amiable,  but  I  use  the  words  to  rebuke 
us  for  attempting  to  worship  in  such  a  hole,  when 
we  might  do  better. 

"The  word  amiable  means  lovely,  beautiful, 
attractive,  and  hence  we  conclude  that  a  place  of 
worship  ought  to  be  lovely,  beautiful,  attractive. 
Now,  Brethren  and  Sisters,  how  do  you  think  that 
applies  to  us  here  ?  Does  it  make  a  man  feel  amia- 
ble to  look  at  the  dirt  on  this  floor  ? — no  ceiling 
overhead,  cobwebs  and  mud  all  over  the  logs,  and 
hornets'  nests  about  the  roof.  It  is  well,  my 
friends,  that  it  is  not  the  season  for  hornets  to  be  in 
active  business,  or  they  would  show  you,  in  feeling 
terms,  how  amiable  this  tabernacle  is.  The  roof  is 
split  in  forty  places  to  let  the  rain  in  ;  and  all  the 
light  we  get  comes  through  the  cracks  and  through 
the  door,  which  has  to  be  left  open  when  it  is  cold 
enough  to  have  it  shut.  Will  a  man  feel  amiable 
when  he  is  hot  on  one  side  and  cold  on  the  other  ? 
and  when  the  air  is  tainted  with  the  odor  of  calves 
and  sheep  ?  These  things  might  do  if  you  were  not 
able  to  do  better.  But  I  know,  and  you  know,  and 
the  Lord  knows,  and  so  does  the  Devil,  that  many 


2O2  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

of  you  have  comfortable  and  nice  houses  at  home. 
Do  you  expect  to  put  off  the  Lord  with  such  an 
old  sheep-trap  as  this,  which  Brother  Grabdime  has, 
in  a  manner,  thrown  away?  You  need  not  calcu- 
late that  the  Lord  is  going  to  be  satisfied  with  any 
such  a  concern  as  this,  when  He  has  millions  of  beau- 
ful  places  where  He  can  go.  I  have  no  idea  He  will 
come  within  forty  feet  of  any  such  a  filthy  place, 
when  all  creation  is  full  of  lovely  places,  and  when 
you  have  better  ones  yourselves. 

' '  You  need  not  tell  that  the  Savior  was  born  in  a 
stable ;  I  know  He  was.  But  it  was  because  the 
people  were  too  indifferent  or  mean  to  give  Him  a 
better  place.  Do  you  want  to  be  like  those  old 
Jews?  If  you  do,  you  have  not  come  far  short  of 
it.  I  would  not  be  surprised  if  that  stable  in  Beth- 
lehem was  a  better  building  than  this  house.  And 
the  Savior  is  born  now,  and  He  is  not  seeking  to- 
live  in  such  places  as  this,  unless  it  is  where  people 
cannot  do  better. 

"You  need  not  tell  me  that  a  good  house  might 
make  you  proud  ;  you  are  all  willing  to  risk  it  when 
you  are  able  to  build  a  good  house  for  yourselves. 
And  a  man  that  is  so  afraid  of  being  proud  that  he 
cannot  be  decent,  had  better  come  to  the  mourner's 
bench  and  be  converted  over.  A  clean  heart  will 
make  a  man  want  to  be  clean  outside,  and  have  a 
clean,  comfortable  place  for  his  heart  to  worship  in. 

' ' '  How   amiable    are   thy    tabernacles. '     These 


DISCOURSE  ON  TABERNACLES.  203 

words  show  that  the  Lord's  tabernacles  are  amiable 
or  lovely ;  but  this  sheep-den  of  a  tabernacle  is  not 
lovely,  therefore  this  tabernacle  is  not  the  Lord's, 
but  belongs  to  Brother  Grabdime ;  and  it  seems  to 
me  useless  to  endeavor  to  coax  the  Lord  to  come 
into  it.  These  are  my  views  about  it.  Brother 
Force,  here,  is  not  responsible  for  what  I  say ;  yet  I 
have  no  doubt  he  agrees  with  me  in  the  main  idea, 
and  so  do  all  of  you,  who  think  over  the  matter 
with  any  care.  I  speak  plainly ;  judge  ye  what  I 
say.  You  all  know  me,  and  I  know  you ;  and  I 
would  advise  you  to  get  over  your  indifference,  and 
some  of  you  over  your  stinginess,  and  open  your 
hearts  and  purses,  put  your  hands  to  work,  and 
build  a  decent  meeting-house.  I  know  some  of  you 
have  but  little  money,  but  you  have  muscle,  and 
teams.  You  can  haul  rock,  and  building  material, 
and  cut  down  trees,  and  take  them  to  the  saw-mill. 
And  some  of  you  are  tolerably  good  rough  car- 
penters, and  you  can  come  together  and  work  a 
week,  with  some  good  workman  to  direct.  There 
is  no  excuse." 

Here  Mr.  Grabdime  gave  out  several  shrill,  sharp, 
disapproving  coughs,  and  kicked  the  hound  which 
lay  at  his  feet,  and  cut  his  tobacco  very  fast,  and 
spit  like  an  engine  into  the  fire,  and  looked  Blunt  in 
the  face,  and  rolled  out  a  few  vigorous  sighs  and 
groans ;  and  his  mouth  resembled  the  queen  of 


V 

2O4  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

the  night,  just  going  into  the  dark  of  the  moon, 
with  the  points  down.  But  Blunt  was  oblivious  to 
all  slight  disapprovals,  arid  proceeded  dauntlessly : 

"I  know  some  of  you  do  not  like  this  kind  of 
preaching;  you  would  rather  I  would  tell  you  how 
to  get  happy  and  shout ;  you  would  rather  I  would 
tell  something  of  how  much  the  Lord  has  done  for 
you.  But  it  is  no  use.  If  I  were  to  tell  you  what 
the  Lord  has  done,  you  would  think  you  had  done 
it  yourselves  ;  and  you  would  get  full  of  conceit,  and 
give  the  Lord  but  little  credit  for  it,  and  do  nothing 
for  Him.  It  shows  how  much  you  think  the  Lord 
has  done  for  you,  when  you  are  contented  to  go  on 
and  try  to  worship  in  such  a  rotten  old  hole  as  this. 
You  think  the  Lord  must  help  you  get  good  dwell- 
ings, and  big  farms,  and  make  your  corn  grow,  and 
keep  off  the  milk-sick,  and  keep  you  from  shaking  to 
pieces  with  the  ague,  and  then  you  want  to  put  Him 
off  with  such  an  old  hulk  as  this.  I  tell  you,  it 
will  not  win.  I  would  not  be  surprised  if  the  Lord 
would  shake  some  of  you  out  of  your  old  shoes,  if 
you  don't  do  better,  and  do  it  soon. 

"Yes,  yes,  you  would  rather  I  should  preach,  and 
tell  you  how  to  get  happy.  Well,  I  have  just  told 
you.  Doing  right,  and  happiness  go  together.  All 
the  happiness  you  will  have,  till  you  go  to  work,  and 
build  a  fitting  house  for  the  Divine  service,  will  be 
mostly  animal  happiness,  mere  animal  excitement. 


DISCOURSE  ON  TABERNACLES.  205 

What !  a  man  be  happy  in  such  a  crazy,  tumble- 
down spider-trap  as  this  !  It  is  perfectly  preposter- 
ous to  think  of.  Nothing  but  an  animal  could  be 
happy  in  such  a  place  as  this ;  even  those  hounds, 
when  they  first  came  in,  snuffed  at  it  with  con- 
tempt, till  you  came  in  and  made  them  contented. 
You  might  be  happy  in  it  if  you  were,  persecuted 
and  had  to  run  into  it.  But  you  are  not ;  you  go 
in  of  your  own  free  will  and  accord  ;  you  put  up 
with  it  to  save  your  pockets,  and  encourage  your 
laziness.  '  How  amiable  are  thy  tabernacles  !' ' 

This  is  but  an  imperfect  synopsis  of  Blunt's  dis- 
course. He  occupied  about  a  half  hour  in  its 
delivery,  and  then  called  on  Mr.  Grabdime  to  pray. 
Grabdime  seemed  to  be  taken  aback,  and  jumped 
as  if  he  had  been  struck  ;  and  with  an  eye  to  economy, 
he  rolled  the  quid  of  tobacco  from  his  mouth  into 
his  hand,  and  from  his  hand  into  his  coat-pocket, 
and  dropped  to  his  knees,  apparently  more  with  a 
spirit  for  tearing  up  the  floor  than  for  prayer.  His 
supplications  indicated  but  little  acquaintance  with 
the  Most  High,  but  showed  that  he  was  inclined  to 
cu'tivate  further  intimacy.  He  struggled  through 
as  if  he  were  trying  to  conciliate  an  ennmy,  and 
had  some  hope  of  success ;  and  he  wound  up  by 
asking  the  Lord  to  "  bless  the  few  broken  remarks  of 
tlie  Brother  just  up." 

As  soon  as  he  rose  from  his  knees,  he  drew  the 


206  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

half-chewed  quid  from  his  coat-pocket  (economy 
again),  and  threw  it  into  his  mouth  as  if  he  intended 
it  to  strike  the  palate,  and  gathered  his  hat  from 
under  the  bench,  and  jerked  it  down  over  his  eyes, 
and  made  his  way  through  the  half-open  back-door, 
and  left  over  the  fields  for  home. 


BLJNT'S  TACTICS.  207 


CHAPTER  XXIV. 
BLUNT'S  TACTICS. 

Blunt  asked  if  he  should  leave  another  appoint- 
ment ?  One  man  spoke  up  saying,  "You  may  have 
meeting  at  my  house  till  there  are  other  arrange- 
ments." 

' '  Well,  then,  I  will  announce  preaching  at 
Brother  Sibert's,  this  day  two  weeks ;  Brother  Ce- 
lebs or  Force  will  be  present  at  that  time.  Brother 
Force  would  have  preached  to-day,  but  as  he  was 
not  well,  I  consented  to  occupy  his  place ;  he  may 
want  to  make  some  remarks  in  conclusion." 

Philip's  remarks  were  few,  and  the  audience  was 
dismissed,  without  another  effort  at  singing.  Sev- 
eral of  the  company  asked  Philip  and  Blunt  to  ac- 
company them  to  dinner ;  but  Blunt  feeling  his  re- 
sponsibility replied : 

"Thank  you  all,  very  much  indeed,  but  we  must 
go  to  Brother  Grabdime's,  I  want  to  talk  to  him 
about  building  a  church." 

At  this,  all  the  crowd  laughed,  a  loud,  incredu- 
lous laugh,  and  one  of  them  said  : 

"  You  had  as  well  ask  Grabdime  to  build  a  rail- 
road to  the  moon  ;  who  ever  heard  of  him  giving 


208  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

anything  to  any  object  on  earth,  unless  it  would 
pay  twenty  per  cent." 

But  Blunt  persisted  in  his  purpose,  and  he  and 
Philip  started  together. 

Grabdime  was  in  the  front  yard,  throwing  corn 
into  the  hog  lots.  He  paid  not  the  slightest  atten- 
tion to  Philip  and  Blunt,  as  they  alighted  and  hitch- 
ed their  horses  to  the  worm  fence  before  the  door. 

"How  are  you,  by  this  time,  Brother  Grab- 
dime?" 

"  I  guess,  I'm  well." 

This  was  said  gruffly,  without  lifting  the  head. 
Philip  and  Blunt  climed  over  the  rickety  style, 
and  sauntered  around  toward  where  Grabdime  was 
industriously  converting  corn  into  pork ;  Philip  de- 
siring all  the  time  to  go  elsewhere,  any  where  but 
there ;  but  he  was  amused  and  curious  over  the  pur- 
pose of  Blunt. 

"We  thought,  Brother  Grabdime,  that  we  would 
come  'round  and  take  dinner  with  you,  and  look  at 
your  fine  stock  and  splendid  farm.  I  couldn't 
think  of  going  home  without  taking  a  good  look  at 
them  ;  for  everybody  knows,  that  you  have  one  of 
the  best  farms,  and  the  finest  stock  in  the  country." 

Blunt  gave  out  his  most  persuasive  tones,  and 
came  close  to  Grabdime's  side,  and  with  an  over- 
flow of  humor  and  laughter,  patted  him  now  and 
then  over  the  shoulder,  as  the  grim  old  farmer  stood 


BLUNT'S  TACTICS.  209 

transferring,  by  hand,  the  corn  from  the  crib  to  the 
hog  lot. 

Grabdime  melted  slowly,  and  it  was  some  mo- 
ments before  it  was  clear  that  Blunt's  remarks-  af- 
forded him  any  pleasure.  But  the  local  preacher 
went  on,  and  praised  his  house  and  barn,  and  hogs, 
horses  and  cattle,  until  Grabdime  asked  him  and 
Philip  into  the  house,  when  he  started  to  go  in  him- 
self. 

There  sat  the  old  woman,  apparently  in  the  same 
position  and  mood,  that  she  was  in  when  they  left 
her  in  the  forenoon.  Sail  was  setting  the  dinner 
table  in  the  same  room,  with  no  perceptible  change 
in  manners  or  style  of  beauty.  Zedekiah  lay  on 
his  back  on  the  hearth,  and  two  lubberly  pups  were 
playing  over  him,  and  he  was  making  sundry  strug- 
gles to  shove  his  feet  up  the  jamb  of  the  fire-place 
toward  the  mantle. 

"  How  do  you  do,  Sister  Grabdime?  I  thought 
I  would  come  back  and  take  dinner  with  you. 
Brother  Force  and  myself  had  many  invitations, 
but  we  declined  all  in  your  favor ;  I  knew  you  cook- 
ed just  like  my  wife,  and  I  know  she  is  one  of  the 
best  in  the  country." 

Mrs.  Grabdime  answered  with  a  low  growl,  not 
easily  understood.  Blunt,  however,  in  excellent 
humor  with  himself,  talked  on. 

"I  noticed  one  of  your  girls  in  an  adjoining 
room,  as  I  passed  in,  weaving  a  piece  of  jeans ;  and 


2io  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

that  reminded  me,  Sister  Grabdime,  that  I  saw  a 
bolt  of  jeans  at  Mr.  Kettlebottom's  store,  you 
know,  in  Doubletown,  the  other  day,  which  they 
said  was  made  by  your  own  hands ;  and  Judge 
Tibballs,  and  Squire  Thimblerash,  and  Col.  Bostet- 
ter,  and  two  or  three  other  first  rate  judges  remark- 
ed that  it  was  the  best  jeans  they  ever  saw  ;  and 
wondered  that  any  woman  could  be  found  in  this 
part  of  the  country,  who  could  make  such  an  excel- 
lent quality  of  cloth." 

Under  the  influence  of  these  words,  Mrs.  Grab- 
dime  began  to  show  that  she  still  had  elements 
within  her,  common  to  a  woman.  She  allowed  the 
sewing  to  lay  idle  upon  her  lap,  and  raised  her  head, 
and  pushed  back  her  sun-bonnet,  and  shoved  her 
spectacles  up  to  where  the  organ  of  benevolence  is 
supposed  to  be,  and  her  eyes  were  resting  on  Blunt, 
with  a  metalic  glare  of  satisfaction ;  and  the  harsh 
lines  of  her  mouth  were  running  into  the  neighbor- 
hood of  a  smile. 

"You  must  have  the  best  kind  of  sheep,  for  the 
wool  was  very  fine  ;  and  it  was  so  smooth  and  even, 
that  it  will  bring  more  money  than  any  other  jeans 
I  ever  saw." 

"I  took  a  mons'us  sight  o'  pains  with  that  'ar 
piece  o'  jeans,  an'  I  jus'  know'd,  Brother  Blunt, 
that  it  was  better'n  anybody  else  could  make,  in 
this  part  o'  the  country;  bring  yer  cheer  closer  to 


BLUNT'S  TACTICS.  211 

the  fire,  you  and  Brother  Force,  both  of  ye,  ye 
must  be  chilly.  I'm  goin'  to  show  ye  another  piece 
jus'  out  o'  the  loom,  which,  I  think,  beats,  a  little 
ways,  the  piece  ye  seed  in  Doubletown.." 

And  the  old  woman,  with  a  step  of  pride  and 
superiority,  walked  into  an  adjoining  room,  and 
brought  forth  the  bolt,  and  submitted  it  to  Blunt's 
inspection. 

"I  don't  know,  Sister,  but  that  is  even  better,  if 
such  a  thing  can  be,  than  the  other." 

And  he  examined  the  texture,  and  descanted  up- 
on the  weaving  and  spinning,  and  the  care  and  skill 
it  must  have  required,  and  said  that  no  other  per- 
son in  this  country  was  competent  to  produce  its 
like ;  and  that  her  fame  was  made,  and  that  she 
ought  to  set  up  a  manufactory  of  jeans,  and  con- 
duct it  herself;  and  that  he  would  want  no  better 
fortune ;  and  that  every  man  of  sense  must  praise 
such  remarkable  ingenuity. 

' '  I  have  two  looms  runnin'  now,  but  I  haf  to 
look  after  'em  myself,  an'  haf  to  hannel  all  the 
pieces  with  my  own  hans,  an  haf  to  azamine  the 
work  with  my  own  eyes." 

"That  is  elegant  cloth." 

And  with  these  words  Blunt  handed  her  the  bolt, 
and  took  off  his  hat,  and  set  it  on  the  floor,  and 
leaned  back  in  his  chair,  and  looked  dignified  and 
patronizing.  Philip  seconded  his  efforts  to  praise 
the  jeans,  which  was  of  really  superior  quality. 


2 1 2  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

But  he  had  so  little  esteem  for  the  maker,  that  his 
words  of  commendation  almost  choked  in  his 
throat ;  and  he  was  astonished,  when  he  looked 
upon  the  table,  that  Blunt  could  intimate  that  the 
cooking  was  anything  like  Mrs.  Blunt's.  He  had 
not  acquired  the  talent  of  carrying  the  smile  of  ap- 
proval in  his  face,  while,  rebuke  was  in  his  heart. 
His  heart  and  face  were  yet  too  close  together  for 
dissembling.  The  false  world  had  not  yet  pushed 
them  far  enough  apart,  to  prevent  the  one  from 
being  an  exponent  of  the  other. 

' '  Sail,  blow  the  horn,  thar,  for  'em  to  come  to 
dinner."  And  Sail  gave  the  tin  horn  such  a  blast, 
that  it  sounded  like  the  clangor  of  a  war  trumpet, 
and  it  reached  the  ears  of  all  upon  the  farm.  Three 
stalwart  sons  of  Grabdime  came  in  from  the  fields, 
and  three  equally  stalwart  daughters  came  from  the 
looms,  or  from  somewhere  else.  The  young  men 
threw  their  hats  on  the  floor,  and  each  one  seized  a 
chair  and  hurried  to  the  table,  and  panted  for  the 
work  to  commence.  Each  of  the  daughters  imita- 
ted the  sons,  and  Zeddy  was  foremost  in  the  fray. 
Blunt  gave  Philip  a  wink,  and  they  rallied  with  the 
crowd  around  the  festal  board.  As  soon  as  Blunt 
dropped  into  his  seat,  he  asked  a  blessing,  which 
added  to  the  impatience  of  the  stalwart  sons  and 
daughters. 

The  refreshments  were  attacked  with  great  ardor 
and  vehemence,  especially  by  the  younger  members 


BLUNT'S  TACTICS.  213 

of  the  family.  The  fat  pork  was  in  the  middle  of 
the  table,  and  any  one  sliced  at  pleasure.  No  Grab- 
dime  raised  an  eye  or  spoke  a  word.  There  was  a 
plate  of  corn  bread  at  each  end  of  the  table,  and 
the  way  they  reached  over  and  thrust  at  the  pieces 
with  their  forks,  reminded  you  of  the  exercise  of 
giggm&  eels>  at  l°ng  range.  Each  one  had  a  tin- 
cup  of  water,  by  the  side  of  his  plate.  The  water, 
corn  bread,  meat  and  potatoes,  the  latter  boiled 
with  the  skin  on,  made  about  the  sum  total  of  the 
wealthy  farmer's  dinner. 

Blunt  made  a  laudable  effort  to 

^  Mingle  with  the  friendly  bowl, 

The  feast  of  reason  and  flow  of  soul." 

The  two  older  Grabdimes  looked,  quietly  compla- 
cent, and  allowed  them  to  mingle ;  and  the  stalwart 
sons  and  daughters,  and  Zedekiah  and  Sail,  per- 
mitted nothing  to  mingle  with  them  but  the  vict- 
uals ;  and  all  these  younger  Grabdimes  seemed  to  be 
running  a  race,  as  if  to  determine  which  of  the 
eight  could  push  the  largest  load  through  their 
mouths,  in  the  shortest  time ;  and  every  huge 
swallow  seemed  to  add  fresh  joy  to  their  hearts;  for 
with  them,  heart  and  stomach  were  nearly  the  same. 
One  after  another,  as  they  became  satisfied,  dropped 
away  like  full-fed  flies,  and  lolled  around  the  room 
on  split-bottomed  chairs. 

Blunt  had  poured  his  best  assortment  of  flattering 
oil  on  the  two  old  people,  until  their  tough  hearts 


214  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

were  suppled ;  gleams  of  humane  feelings  began  to 
show  themselves;  they  were  growing  tame,  and 
talked  of  being  generous.  He  praised  everything 
they  had,  worthy  of  praise,  and  a  few  things  that 
were  not.  They  listened,  and  smiled,  and  nodded 
approval,  as  if  such  a  gracious  outpouring  had  not 
been  received  for  many  a  day ;  the  temper  of  these 
two  Grabdimes  was  growing  sweet,  for  the  time, 
under  the  stream  of  honeyed  words. 


THE  SMOOTHING  PROCESS.  215 


CHAPTER  XXV. 

THE  SMOOTHING   PROCESS. 

How  a  little  well-set  praise  will  make  old  folks 
seem  young  again,  and  its  droppings  on  hard  and 
stony  hearts  will  make  them  soft  and  pliable.  How 
its  delicate,  insinuating  oil  will  heal  the  bruises  of 
the  soul,  and  bring  a  dewy  calmness  to  stormy  pas- 
sions, and  make  even  a  harsh,  mean  man  feel 
innocent.  A  wise  man  will  almost  love  a  fool  who 
has  sense  enough  left  to  praise  him.  Adroitly 
praising  a  good  quality  in  which  a  man  is  deficient, 
will  sometimes  make  him  eagerly  seek  for  more  of 
it.  No  man  need  envy  him  who  cannot  praise  an- 
other, even  if  that  other  has  faults.  Its  power  for 
good  is  a  thousand  times  greater  in  a  household 
than  fault-finding.  If  a  child,  a  woman,  a  man,  a 
student,  an  employee,  or  any  one  that  serves  you,  or 
whom  you  are  directing,  does  well,  for  God's  sake 
let  them  know  it.  Do  not  mope  and  hug  your  ap- 
proval in  silence.  Judicious  praise  will  do  good  in 
nine  cases  out  of  ten.  It  is  entirely  too  scarce  in 
this  rough  world  of  ours. 

Blunt  praised  nearly  all  that  Grabdime  had.  He 
talked  of  the  powerful  intellect  of  his  children  ;  how 
cultivation  might  make  them  leaders  in  society,  and 


216  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

perhaps  in  the  councils  of  the  nation ;  and  how  it 
required  a  strong  mind  to  amass  and  keep  in  order 
so  much  property  as  he  saw  around  him.;  how  the 
daughters  here  might  shine  in  the  circles  of  beauty 
and  intelligence  ;  how  education  would  polish  them  ; 
how  they  had  the  native  brain  power,  inherited 
from  their  parents ;  and  he  had  forty  other  remarks 
of  a  similar  kind,  until  the  two  Grabdime  parents 
were  hoping  that  there  was  a  school  close  at  hand, 
where  young  Grabdimes  could  be  trained  and  de- 
veloped and  accomplished.  And  Philip  joined 
with  Blunt,  and  the  ambition  for  growth  and  im- 
provement began  to  swell  the  hearts  of  the  stalwart 
sons  and  daughters. 

They  awoke,  looked  and  listened  to  what  Philip 
had  to  say  of  the  advantages  of  education,  and  he 
grew  eloquent  in  praise  of  its  benefits ;  and  the 
young  hearers  were  seemingly  impatient  to  enjoy 
them,  and  looked  hopefully  toward  their  parents, 
whose  frigid  selfishness  had  been  thawed  under  the 
sunshine  of  praise,  so  copiously  bestowed. 

Philip  and  Blunt  remained  with  the  Grabdime 
family  till  three  o'clock  in  the  afternoon.  Before 
they  left,  Mr.  Grabdime  had  agreed  to  donate  an 
acre  of  land  on  which  a  new  church  should  be 
built,  and  that  all  the  lumber  needed  for  its  erection 
might  be  selected  from  his  timber. 

The  family  spirits  seemed  to  be  improved.  A 
couple  of  the  stalwart  sons  wanted  ;o  know  of 


THE  SMOOTHING  PROCESS.  217 

Philip  when  he  would  be  around  again,  and  hoped 
he  would  come  to  their  house ;  and  even  Mrs. 
Grabdime  invited  her  two  visitors  to  call  again. 

As  they  sauntered 'along,  leisurely,  on  horseback, 
Blunt,  as  was  his  custom,  nearly  monopolized  the 
conversation.  The  cool  air,  and  the  prostration  of 
Philip's  physical  energies,  made  talking  on  his  part 
a  laborious  effort.  Blunt's  talking  machinery  was 
tireless,  and  no  stress  of  weather  could  stop  him. 

' '  Now,  you  see,  Brother  Force,  that  you  have  to 
talk  soft  solder  to  some  folks  before  they  will  under- 
stand you.  Nearly  everybody  has  that  door  of 
their  hearts  unlocked,  and  they  have  thrown  away 
the  key,  and  all  you  have  to  do  is  to  pull  the  latch- 
string  and  walk  in.  And  you  are  nearly  always 
welcome  when  you  come  in  at  that  door,  and  you 
get  the  best  they  have,  and  you  can  take  your  time 
to  go  away. 

' '  There  are  many  people  that  cannot  understand 
what  you  say  about  duty,  for  they  don't  like  duty 
well  enough  to  get  acquainted  with  just  plain  duty, 
without  embellishments.'  It  is  no  use  to  address 
their  intelligence,  for  that  is  feeble.  It  is  no  use  to 
tell  them  what  the  Lord  wants  them  to  do,  for  they 
never  saw  Him,  and  think  He  is  a  million  miles 
away,  and  cares  mighty  little  about  them ;  but  just 
say  good  things  to  them  about  themselves,  and  you 
have  them,  sure.  But  don't  begin  too  sudden,  or 
they  will  suspect  something.  If  they  have  but  lit- 


218  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

tie  sense,  give  them  fire  and  brimstone  at  first. 
You  must  tilt  against  them  for  a  while,  till  they 
begin  to  respect  you.  For  the  nearer  a  man  gets 
back  to  an  animal,  the  more  he  will  respect  your 
opinion  if  you  give  him  a  little  judicious  kicking. 
They  think  a  man  is  great  as  he  shows  bold,  and 
looks  fierce  and  contrary. 

"  Some  of  these  old  settlers  and  cattle  men  have 
steers,  and  have  studied  their  habits  so  much  that  they 
judge  of  men  and  women  as  they  do  of  cattle.  If 
you  will  thrash  and  bang  a  steer  around  awhile,  he 
will  stand  in  awe  of  you,  and  respect  you ;  and 
then  if  you  will  turn  around  and  rub  and  smooth 
him  down  long  enough  he'll  follow  you  all  around  the 
field.  If  you  praise  people,  that  is  smoothing  them 
down,  and  then  they  may  follow  you.  There  is  an 
infinite  difference,  as  well  as  similarity,  in  people. 
Many  of  them  are  hunting  around  for  truth,  and 
ready  to  pick  it  up  any  where,  and  you  can  hand  it 
out  to  them  in  almost  any  manner,  and  they  are 
glad  to  get  it.  But  with  many  others,  that  are 
tight  and  selfish,  and  conceited,  you  have  to  use 
strategy ;  and  generally  there  is  nothing  better  than 
smoothing  them.  You  are  just  throwing  away 
your  breath  till  you  do  this.  They  can't  see  your 
wisdom  till  you  see  theirs.  When  they  see  that 
you  have  discovered  wisdom  in  them,  then  they 
conclude  that  you  can  discover  wisdom  almost  any 
where,  and  they  recognize  you  as  a  man  of  ability 


THE  SMOOTHING  PROCESS.  219 

at  once.  Make  them  feel  that  you  think  they  are 
sensible,  and  then  they  have  the  highest  proof  that 
you  are  a  sensible  man.  These  kind  of  people  sel- 
dom think,  but  they  always  feel.  Feeling  goes 
before  thinking  with  them.  By  the  way,  nearly 
everybody  is  that  way.  Great  learned  men  have  a 
very  low  estimate  of  your  sagacity  until  you  show 
them  that  you  think  they  are  great  and  learned.  A 
schoolmaster  regards  those  students  the  most  tal- 
ented who  say  the  best  things  about  him.  A 
bishop  is  not  apt  to  look  on  a  young  man  as  likely 
to  make  much  of  a  preacher,  if  he  does  not  show  that 
he  stands  somewhat  in  awe  of  the  bishop's  vast 
superiority.  If  any  man  helps  you  to  love  your- 
self, it's  delicious.  You  are  almost  certain  to  help 
him  in  return,  and  then  you'll  get  more  of  the  same 
sort." 

"But,"  said  Philip,  "suppose  Ihave  an  aversion 
to  a  man,  must  I  flatter  or  praise  him  ?" 

"Just  as  you  please,  Brother  Force ;  it  is  a  free 
country.  But  if  you  don't  honey  him,  he'll  be  apt  to 
sting  you.  If  you  measure  out  to  him  a  gallon  of 
dislike,  he'll  probably  measure  out  to  you  a  bushel 
of  injury." 

"  But  must  I  act  the  hypocrite,  and  pretend  to  like 
a  man,  when  I  really  dislike  him?" 

"  That  is  not  acting  the  hypocrite.  You  may  see 
things  about  him  you  do  not  like  ;  that-  you  can  see 
about  yourself,  unless  you  are  better  than  anybody 
16 


22O  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

I  know.  But  nearly  every  man  has  qualities  hid 
away  in  him  that  you  would  like  if  you  could  call 
them  out;  and  the  way  to  call  them  out  is  to 
smooth  him.  If  a  horse  balks,  beating  him  is  not 
likely  to  force  him  to  pull ;  but  strategy  and  kind- 
ness may  bring  him  to  it.  If  you  dislike  a  man,  he 
will  dislike  you,  and  do  as  little  for  you  as  possible. 
I  am  put  up  on  the  knock  down  and  drag  out  prin- 
ciple myself;  but  I  never  made  it  pay.  It  has  got 
me  into  being  knocked  down  and  dragged  out  more 
than  once.  '  With  what  measure  ye  mete,  it  shall 
be  measured  to  you  again. '  That  is  gospel,  Brother 
Force." 

"  I  might  differ  with  you  in  gospel  interpretation. 
If  I  discover  meanness  in  a  man,  I  cannot  help  dis- 
liking him." 

"That  may  be,"  said  Blunt,  "  and  the  best  thing 
you  can  do  for  yourself  is  to  choke  the  dislike  out 
of  you,  or  smother  it  down.  Don't  let  it  flame 
out;  that  makes  mischief;  runs  from  bad  to  worse. 
If  you  have  an  opportunity,  show  the  man  that 
you  think  he  has  the  better  \n  him,  and  then  the  bet- 
ter will  generally  come  out.  If  you  ask  for  vinegar 
at  the  store,  you'll  get  it,  if  it  is  there ;  if  you  ask 
for  sugar,  you  will  get  sugar,  if  it's  there.  But 
who  is  going  to  give  you  sugar,  when  you  are 
looking  for  and  expecting  vinegar?" 

"It  occurs  to  me  that  you  did  not  act  on  your 
plan  in  the  affair  with  Bob  Scates. " 


THE  SMOOTHING  PROCESS.  221 

"That  is  so,  Brother  Force;  for,  as.  I  told  you, 
I  am  naturally  fiery  and  combative.  Yet  I  do  not 
see  that  I  acted  against  this  principle  in  that  Scates 
matter.  It  is  my  duty  to  take  care  of  my  child ; 
and  if  I  think  an  unworthy  man  is  trying  to  bring 
her  into  trouble,  I  am  bound  to  defend  and  protect 
her,  and  oppose  him.  Yet  if  I  could  do  Bob 
Scates  a  favor,  I  suppose  I  ought  to  do  it ;  but  it 
would  not  be  right  to  favor  him,  to  the  injury  of  my 
daughter.  ,1  may  not  benefit  one  person  in  such  a 
way  as  to  injure  another.  If  I  am  trying  to  benefit 
a  man,  and  I  find  he  is  making  use  of  my  benefits 
to  injure  others,  it  is  time  for  me  to  stop  benefiting 
him  in  that  way,  and  look  out  for  some  other  chan- 
nel in  which  to  do  him  good.  You  must  '  love 
your  enemies.'  ' 

"  I  know  that  is  one  of  the  gospel  requirements, 
and  one  to  which  I  have  never  attained,  and  am 
fearful  I  never  will." 

"  Yes,  Brother  Force,  it's  a  tough  duty,  .and  but 
few  do  it.  If  a  man  tramps  on  my  toes  intention- 
ally, I  want  to  weigh  three  hundred  pounds,  and 
tramp  on  his  toes.  That  old  law,  '  An  eye  for  an 
eye,  and  a  tooth  for  a  tooth,'  was  a  good  law,  and 
it  would  be  a  check  to  a  majority  of  people  yet. 
For,  if  a  man  would  pull  out  one  of  my  eyes,  I 
would  want  instantly  to  pull  out  both  of  his ;  and 
if  he  would  knock  out  one  tooth  of  mine,  I  would 


222  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

want  to  knock  every  tooth  down  his  throat.  That's 
the  animal  in  us.  This  old  spirit  of  retaliation  must 
be  restrained  before  a  man  is  complete.  I  suppose, 
however,  that  we  are  not  required  to  love  our 
enemies  to  the  same  degree  that  we  love  our  friends. 
The  bible  tells  how  it  is  to  be  done  :  if  a  man 
curses  me,  I  am  not  to  curse  back,  but  bless  him  ; 
if  he  treats  us  despitefully,  we  are  to  pray  for  him  ; 
we  are  to  do  him  all  the  good  we  can,  and  as  little 
harm  as  possible.  That  is  my  notion  of  gospel.  I 
have  no  idea  that  the  Savior  loved  those  hypocriti- 
cal old  Pharisees  to  the  same  degree  that  He  did 
John  and  Peter.  He  took  a  whip  and  drove  a 
crowd  of  them  out  of  a  temple,  once.  Sometimes 
a  man  needs  a  club  to  make  him  better  ;  it  may  be 
the  only  argument  he  can  see  and  feel,  and  so  it 
may  be  an  instrument  of  righteousness  to  him  ;  it 
may  be  the  very  thing  his  thick  skull  and  rhinoceros 
hide  need  to  fetch  him  where  kindness  and  good- 
ness can  reach  him.  There  are  some  men,  if  you 
are  kind  to  them,  will  ride  over  you  like  ravening 
wolves,  and  make  demons  of  themselves,  and  a  fool 
of  you,  if  you  treat  them  gently.  Personal  safety, 
and  the  good  of  society,  require  that  all  such 
beasts  should  be  knocked  in  the  region  of  propriety. 
As  I  said,  you  have  to  pitch  into  them  till  you 
make  such  animals  respect  you.  Do  you  see  that 
old  meeting-house  over  yonder  ?" 


THE  SMOOTHING  PROCESS.  223 

•"'  That  large  log-house,  on  the  right  of  the  road, 
before  us?" 

"Yes,  that  is  it.  That  is  an  old  Hard-Shell, 
Feet- Washing  Baptist  Church.  Some  people  call 
them  Iron  Jackets.  I  don't  know  the  reason,  unless 
it  is  because  nothing  but  time,  sickness  and  whis- 
key can  make  any  impression  on  them.  Some 
folks  call  them  Forty-Gallon  Baptists,  because  they 
love  whiskey  and  use  it  freely.  They  held  an 
Association  here  last  summer.  Bill  Migus  and 
Jake  Dodlum  are  the  principal  members,  and  live 
close  by,  and  had  to  entertain  most  of  the  brethren 
that  were  in  attendance.  Bill  asked  Jake  one  day 
how  much  whiskey  he  had  laid  in  for  the  use  of 
those  who  should  be  at  the  Association.  Jake  said 
that  he  had  bought  a  barrel.  '  A  barrel, '  said  Bill, 
'  that's  not  up  to  your  share  ;  you're  worth  twice  as 
much  as  me,  and  ought  to  do  twice  as  much  to 
support  the  gospel ;  and  I've  laid  in  two  barrel. ' 
From  all  I  could  learn  it  tfiok  the  three  barrels  to 
run  the  Association.  Let  us  get  off,  and  go  in 
and  warm,  and  you'll  see  something  you're  not 
used  to." 

"Very  well,  sir;  something  new  and  a  good 
warming  will  be  acceptable." 

There  were  about  fifty  people  present,  giving 
careful  attention  to  the  preacher,  who  was  a  model 
of  independent  awkwardness.  His  speaking  cos- 
tume consisted  of  shirt,  pantaloons,  stockings  and 


224  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

shoes.  No  folded  neck-tie  impeded  the  action  of 
the  muscles  of  his  throat.  His  pantaloons  had 
either  been  cut  too  short,  or  had  crawled  up  under 
the  fulling  process  of  wear  and  tear,  for  the  bot- 
toms thereof  hung  about  mid-way  between  the 
knee-joint  and  the  tops  of  the  brogans,  and  the 
half-hose  had  refused  to  fill  up  the  intervening 
space,  and  rolled  their  mottled  folds  over  the 
tops  of  the  shoes,  displaying  a  full  develop- 
ment of  muscle  for  six  inches,  from  the  ankle 
upwards.  In  his  left  hand  he  grasped  a  hand- 
kerchief, which  once  had  been  white,  and  which  he 
pressed  tightly  against  his  right  cheek,  leaning  his 
head  over  upon  it,  with  an  expression  of  counte- 
nance indicative  of  toothache.  He  seemed  stoically 
indifferent  of  the  frowns  or  approval  of  enemies  or 
brethren.  It  was  a  kind  of  inexorable  resignation, 
as  if  he  were  not  to  be  disturbed,  whether  they 
laughed  or  prayed.  Half  the  sound  of  his  voice 
seemed  to  come  through  his  nose.  It  was  on  a 
tolerably  high  key,  and  see-sawed  between  whin- 
ing and  singing,  giving  an  emphatic  drawl  some- 
times in  the  middle,  but  generally  at  the  latter 
end  of  a  sentence,  topping  it  out  with  a  peculiar 
kind  of  humming  and  moaning  of  the  word  "ah" 
His  words  were  rather  indistinct,  and  jumbled, 
but  his  style  of  utterance  seemed  to  be  cus- 
tomary with  him.  His  appearance,  his  tooth- 
ache pressure  with  the  old  handkerchief;  and  the 


THE  SMOOTHING  PROCESS.  225 

frequent,  die-away  drawl  upon  the  word  "ah;" 
and  his  effort  to  continue  his  sing-song  speaking 
while  he  was  spitting  little  lumps  the  size  of  a  dime 
and  as  white  as  cotton,  were  all  so  ludicrous  and 
novel  to  Philip  that  he  could  with  difficulty  refrain 
from  laughter. 


226  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER  XXVI. 

THE  "HARD  SHELL"  PREACHER. 

Philip  made  an  effort  to  observe  a  due  sobriety, 
and  determined  to  listen  to  the  concluding  portion 
of  the  odd  looking  speaker's  discourse. 

By  and  by  he  came  around  upon  the  subject  of 
the  unconditional  perseverance  of  the  saints.  He  said 
the  Methodists  believed  in  falling  from  grace,  and 
lived  up  to  it;  even  if  they  failed  to  observe  any 
other  of  their  articles  of  faith.  He  endeavored  to 
illustrate  what  he  regarded  as  the  true  ground  in 
the  following  style ;  we  may  succeed  in  giving  his 
ideas,  but  his  manner  and  tone  are  utterly  beyond 
description. 

' '  My  breathering  and  sistering ;  when  I  was  a 
boy,  my  father  had  a  cow,  and  her  name  was 
Brin-ah-h-h-ha. "  He  would  keep  up  his  sing-song 
tone,  while  he  spurted  the  little  lump  of  cotton  from 
his  mouth.  "  We  called  her  Brin  because  she  was 
a  brindle  cow,  my  brethering — ah.  One  day  old 
Brin  got  lost — ah,  and  was  lost  the  next  day,  for 
she  didn't  come  home — ah.  Then  my  father  told 
me,  'John,  my  son,  you  must  go  and  hunt  for  Old 
Brin,  for  I'm  afeered  she's  lost,'  my  breathering — 
um-a-ha.  I  started  down  the  creek,  and  among  the 


"THE  HARD-SHELL  PREACHER. 


THE  "HARD  SHELL"  PREACHER.  227 

farms  and  over  the  hills,  hunting  for  poor  Old  Brin- 
ah.  Every  time  I'd  come  to  a  little  rise  in  the 
ground,  I'd  stop,  to  see  if  I  could  hear  the  old  bell 
— ah-h-h-ha.  Well,  after  a  great  deal  of  hunting 
and  searching,  I  hearn  the  old  bell  a  goin'  ting-de- 
tong,  ting-de-tong — um-ma-ha.  Well  now,  my 
Father's  children,  I  still  hunted  on  and  on,  in  the 
direction  of  the  sound — ah,  and  when  I  got  to 
where  I  thought  Old  Brin  ought  to  be,  I  still  hearn 
the  old  bell  a  goin',  ting-de-tong,  ting-de-tong — ah. 
And  I  hunted  on  and  on — ah,  and  still  kept  huntin' ; 
and  at  last,  my  breathering  and  sistering,  whar  d'ye 
think  I  found  her — ah?  Why,  my  breathering,  she 
wasn't  lost  at  all — ah,  but  was  up  to  her  knees  in 
a  clover  field — ah-h-h-ha,  and  the  bell  was  still  goin' 
ting-de-tong,  ting-de-tong — ah.  So  it  is  with  my 
Father's  children  ;  when  you  think  they'r  lost,  and 
gone  off  in  sin  forever,  why,  then  they'r  just  up  to 
their  knees  in  the  clover  patch  of  God's  grace — um- 
ma-he,  and  the  bell  still  goes  ting-de-tong — ah. " 

This  was  about  the  conclusion  of  his  discourse ; 
and  he  immediately  gave  orders  that  water  and  tow- 
els should  be  passed,  that  his  Father's  children 
might  wash  each  other's  feet.  A  large  iron  kettle, 
holding  nearly  half  a  barrel  of  water  sat  in  the  great 
fire-place.  Around  the  earthen  hearth  were  four 
or  five  wooden  buckets.  Two  of  the  breatJiering,  as 
ordered  by  the  speaker,  came  forward,  and  one 
took  a  bucket  and  the  other  a  towel,  and  began  to 


228  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

pass  around.  The  same  was  done  by  two  of  the 
sistering ;  the  latter  going  to  their  side  of  the  house, 
and  the  breatJiering  to  theirs.  Shoes  and  stockings 
were  removed,  and  the  feet  placed  in  the  water 
buckets,  and  then  dried  by  the  towels,  the  speaker 
meanwhile,  giving  directions,  explaining  the  nature 
of  the  ordinance,  and  urging  its  observance,  as  a 
sacred  duty  ;  and  concluded  by  saying  : 

"  I  pussieve  that  Brother  Blunt,  of  the  Metho- 
diss  persuasion,  is  present,  and  p'raps  would  like  to 
make  a  few  remarks.  He  may  have  some  objec- 
tions to  this  awd'nance,  but  we'd  be  glad,  if  he'd 
improve  the  time,  a  little,  by  speakin'." 

The  orator  of  the  occasion  sat  down  with  an  in- 
viting look  toward  Blunt ;  and  the  latter  came  to 
his  feet  immediately. 

' '  I  do  not  feel  prepared,  at  this  time,  my  friends, 
to  make  any  remarks.  The  brother,  however,  is 
mistaken  in  supposing,  that  I  am  opposed  to  this 
ordinance  ;  I  feel  almost  to-day  convinced,  that  it  is 
a  very  useful  ordinance  indeed ;  from  the  change 
for  the  better,  wrought  upon  some  feet  I  see  before 
me,  I  am  satisfied,  it  would  be  well,  if  this  exercise 
were  attended  to  oftener. " 

Blunt  took  his  seat,  and  the  volunteering  in  the 
foot  service  seemed  to  abate,  and  after  a  few  an- 
nouncements, the  audience  was  dismissed,  and  Phil- 
ip and  Blunt  journyed  on. 


THE  "HARD  SHELL"  PREACHER.  229 

Mrs.  Blunt  had  supper  prepared  when  they  ar- 
rived ;  and  the  exercises  of  the  day,  and  the  cool 
air,  and  the  plain  dinner  at  Grabdime's,  all  quali- 
fied them  to  appreciate  her  superior  cooking.  Sue 
was  light  of  heart  and  cheerful,  as  if  all  her  plans 
had  been  prospered  for  the  last  six  months.  After 
supper,  Blunt  kindled  a  roasting  fire  in  the  ten- 
plate  stove,  and  sat  a  lighted  candle  upon  the  table, 
and  Philip  was  invited  to  enjoy  himself,  in  his  own 
way.  Blunt  had  his  stock  to  look  after,  and  then 
had  to  go  and  see  a  neighbor  a  mile  away,  and  the 
balance  of  the  family,  for  the  most  part,  remained 
in  the  kitchen. 

Philip  concluded  that  he  would  improve  the  spare 
moments  of  the  evening  by  looking  again  into 
"  Watson's  Institutes."  It  was  true,  his  blood  was 
shooting  about  unpleasantly,  and  his  nerves  seemed 
to  be  jarring  against  each  other,  and  a  drowsy  at- 
mosphere crept  over  him,  and  all  his  physical 
wheels  ran  sluggish  and  heavy,  and  the  silver  cords 
of  life  were  like  sodden  ropes,  drooping  with  their 
own  weight. 

Before  he  had  concluded  the  second  chapter,  he 
was  interrupted  by  a  dog  chasing  a  cat  through  the 
room,  and  bringing  on  a  roaring  entanglement  un- 
der the  bed.  And  by  the  time  this  categorical  and 
dogmatical  affray  was  in  the  height  of  its  fury,  two 
small  children  came  from  the  kitchen,  through  the 
half-open  door.  One  of  these  children,  moved  with 


230  THE  Two   CIRCUITS. 

a  desire  to  be  useful,  snuffed  out  the  candle,  by 
Philip's  side,  and  then  started  for  the  kitchen,  to 
re-light  it ;  and  looking  too  high,  and  the  room  be- 
ing dark,  she  tumbled  over  a  chair,  and  smashed 
the  candle,  and  knocked  herself  into  a  spasm  of 
squalling.  But  the  storm  soon  subsides ;  the  dog 
and  cat  are  turned  out,  the  lighted  candle  is  re- 
placed, and  Philip  resumed  his  reading.  But  each  of 
the  children  was  possessed  with  a  desire  to  impart 
and  acquire  knowledge  to  and  from  each  other. 
They  enter  into  several  spicy  debates  on  the  subject 
of  dolls,  strings  and  toys  ;  and  as  to  which  of  them 
owned  all  the  calves,  colts,  pigs,  sheep  and  cats,  on 
the  place.  They  twisted  together  strips  of  paper, 
and  lit  the  ends  in  the  stove,  and  whirled  them  rap- 
idly over  their  heads.  But  Philip  persevered  in 
"Watson,"  and  made  out,  that  creation  implies 
government,  and  government  implies  law ;  and  this 
law  must  be  made  known  to  the  governed,  must  be 
revealed  from  the  ruler ;  and  that  this,  revelation 
may  be,  first  by  acts,  second  by  words.  Theists 
admit  the  first  has  been  done,  the  Christian  admits 
both. 

By  the  time  Philip  had  gone  through  a  chapter  or 
two,  and  transplanted  the  thoughts  into  the  garden 
of  his  memory,  one  of  the  little  Blunts  came  run- 
ning in  from  the  kitchen,  where  her  mother  had 
been  fitting  upon  her  a  new  dress,  and  bounding 
along  like  a  fawn,  mounted  a  chair  under  the  look- 


THE  "HARD  SHELL"   PREACHER.  231 

ing-glass,  and  began  that  never  dying  employment, 
that  has  interested  so  many  wiser  and  older  heads 
— admiring  self.  Her  little  veins  swelled  with  ec- 
stacy  ;  she  started  and  quivered,  jumped  and  shout- 
ed, enraptured  with  her  own  beauty ;  and  every 
time  she  turned  around,  she  would  look  at  Philip, 
with  a  persuasive  laugh,  and  exclaim,  "Look  at 
me,  Buvver  Force." 

Philip  tried  again  to  follow  the  teachings  of 
"Watson,"  and  essayed  to  investigate  the  third 
chapter;  but  his  thoughts  took  off  after  the  child's 
expression,  "  Look  at  me. " 

' '  Yes,  yes,  that  is  what  we  are  all  hungering, 
thirsting  and  working  after,  may  be  too  much,  to 
have  the  world  look  at  us.  I  might  write  an  essay 
on  that,  for  a  text,  '  look  at  me ;'  if  I  was  in  school 
again  I  would  try  it.  It  might  be  made  to  fit 
a  great  many  cases.  But  I  must  not  let  my  thoughts 
wander  off  that  way,  I  must  buckle  down  to  this 
book."  And  so  he  read  on  about  half  a  page,  and 
discovered  that  he  was  not  gathering  a  single  idea 
from  the  printed  lines,  but  was  thinking  of  the  text, 
dropped  by  the  child,  "  look  at  me." 


232  THE  Two   CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER  XXVII. 

BLUNT    "STOVE    UP." 

"We  have  had   quite  a  pleasant  day,  Miss  Sue." 

"Quite,  indeed,  sir;  more  pleasant  to  you,  prob- 
ably, than  the  evening,  I  was  afraid  my  little  sis- 
ters would  interrupt  you,  by  coming  into  the 
room." 

"  Not  at  all ;  I  am  rather  fond  of  their  visits." 

"The  coming  of  preachers,  to  our  house,  Mr. 
Force,  we  look  upon  as  a  pleasant  event,  and  it 
seems  impossible  to  keep  the  young  ones  from  an- 
noying them,  and  we,  who  are  older,  can  hardly 
keep  from  it  ourselves." 

' '  There  is  no  annoyance  whatever,  Miss  Sue  ; 
there  are  times  when  a  change  of  company,  from 
books  to  children,  is  agreeable." 

"  I  didn't  suppose  young  men  liked  such  changes. 
I  know  when  I  want  to  study  my  lessons,  I  don't 
want  children  in  hearing  distance,  but  as  I  have  to 
put  up  with  them,  they  often  annoy  me." 

' '  That  may  be  accounted  for,  on  the  ground  that 
you  are  with  them  so  much." 

' '  I  suppose  likely.  By  the  way,  how  did  you 
like  the  folks  at  Mr.  Grabdime's,  and  the  preaching 


BLUNT  "  STOVE  UP.  "  233 

place  over  there?  "said  Sue,  with  a  mischevious 
smile. 

' '  I  have  seen  people  and  places  that  I  admire 
more,  on  first  acquaintance,  but  both  were  interest- 
ing to  me ;  on  the  whole,  I  rather  enjoyed  the  occa- 
sion, for  its  novelty,  if  nothing  else." 

' '  I  thought  you  ought  to  have  stayed  in  the 
house  to-day,  after  being  so  fearfully  treated  by  that 
old  steam  doctor,  last  night.  You  must  be  very 
tired ;  it  would  be  enough  to  make  me  sick  to  take 
dinner  at  Grabdime's. " 

"  Well,  I  don't  think  a  person  is  likely  to  over- 
eat himself,  dining  at  Brother  Grabdime's ;  espe- 
cially, when  he  expects  to  take  supper  at  your 
house." 

"Thank  you,  sir;  if  I  had  to  keep  fast  day,  I 
would  choose  that  day  to  visit  there,  if  I  had  to  go 
at  all.  Mrs.  Grabdime  is  as  hateful  as  she  can  live  ; 
she  works  like  a  slave,  and  cares  for  none  of  her 
neighbors." 

"And  as  a  consequence,  Miss  Sue,  I  suppose 
none  of  her  neighbors  care  for  her?  "  said  Philip. 

"It  was  too  bad;  going  over  there  when  you 
were  so  sick  last  night."  Sue  moved  her  chair 
nearer  the  stove,  and  that  brought  her  nearer  to 
Philip. 

' '  I  would  not  have  missed  going,  under  any  cir- 
cumstances,"  said  Philip.  "I  learned  more  of  a 
certain  kind  of  human  nature  there,  in  one  day 
17 


234  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

than  I  would  have  learned  from  books  in  a  month." 

"Yes,"  said  Sue  with  a  rougish,  mischevious 
laugh  ;  "that  old  doctor  and  his  little  fool  Hip,  and 
Grabdime's  folks,  were  more  lessons  in  human  na- 
ture, of  that  kind,  than  I  would  want  to  take  in  six 
weeks ;  and  you  took  them  all  in  twenty-four 
hours." 

"So  it  was  twenty-four  hours ;  I  had  the  impres- 
sion the  time  was  much  longer;  yet  all  the  circum- 
stances and  persons  were  amusing  and  instructive." 

"  Is  there  nothing  I  can  do  for  you,  Mr.  Force? 
You  must  feel  prostrated  after  what  you  passed 
through.  That  old  doctor's  treatment  must  have 
been  amusing;  "  and  Sue  laughed  heartily.  "Why 
I'd  almost  as  soon  go  through  an  examination  for 
torture  at  an  inquisition." 

"  Thank  you  ;  I  feel  quite  comfortable.  I  have 
a  growing  antipathy  for  medicine ;  I  had  enough 
last  night  to  satisfy  any  reasonable  man  for  a  few 
years." 

"  Mercy,  I  should  think  so.  That  old  doctor  has 
succeeded  in  pulling  the  wool  over  father's  eyes  ;  for 
he's  never  sick,  and  he  thinks  we'll  all  live  to  be  as 
old  as  Methusalah,  if  the  old  doctor  can  be  allowed 
to  dose  us." 

"I  rather  think,  Miss  Sue,  that  the  old  doctor  is 
a  kind-hearted  old  gentleman  and  means  to  do  for 
the  best." 


BLUNT  " STOVE  UP."  235 

"  Perhaps ;  but  he's  half  crazy,  and  Hip  is  a  fool, 
and  the  old  doctor  is  a  humbug,  and  father  thinks 
he's  a  perfect  Solomon.  I  would  almost  as  soon 
die  at  once,  as  to  let  him  and  that  little  dunce,  fool 
around  me.  Thank  the  Lord  I  am  never  sick. 
You  will  not  go  to  your  appointment  to-morrow, 
Mr.  Force  ?  You  had  better  rest  for  a  day  or  two. 
I  wouldn't  go  out  doors  for  a  week,  if  I  had  gone 
through  the  hands  of  that  old  doctor,  as  you 
have." 

"  O,  yes,  I  feel  quite  vigorous,  I  wouldn't  miss  an 
appointment  if  I  could  possibly  get  there." 

"  May  be,  the  old  doctor  and  Hip  have  converted 
you  into  a  belief  in  their  reform  practice?  "  and  Sue 
laughed  with  great  glee. 

"Not  if  I  understand  myself,  Miss  Sue;  it  is 
true  I  felt  enough  broken  up  during  the  process,  to 
be  converted  to  almost  anything,  yet  what  I  exper- 
ienced of  their  system  was  too  severe  for  my 
tastes." 

Mrs.  Blunt  now  entered  the  room,  and  seated 
herself  on  the  opposite  side  of  the  stove  from  Philip 
and  Sue. 

"This  has  been  quite  a  chilly  day,  Brother 
Force." 

"Tolerably  chilly,  Madam;  but  not  enough  to 
be  uncomfortable,  after  the  frost  of  the  morning 
had  passed  away." 


236  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"I  don't  see  what  keeps  Mr.  Blunt;  he  ought 
to  have  been  home  an  hour  ago." 

This  was  said  in  an  abstract  tone  of  anxiety  as  if 
she  was  talking  to  herself.  Sue  evidently  partook 
of  her  mother's  fears,  but  made  an  effort  to  conceal 
them,  and  cheerfully  observed  : 

' '  O,  you  know,  Mother,  that  when  father  gets  in 
one  of  his  ways  of  talking,  he  never  thinks  how 
time  flies." 

"  Yes ;  "  and  it  was  evident  the  wife's  fears  were 
growing ;  ' '  but  he  seldom  stays  out  so  late,  unless 
he's  at  meeting ;  and  he  rode  that  young,  wild  colt, 
that  is  hardly  broke  yet;  "  and  Mrs.  Blunt  closed 
the  sentence  by  dismally  sighing  out  the  two  syl- 
ables,  "Hie,  ho." 

And  she  rose,  and  went  to  the  door  and  looked 
down  the  road ;  and  there  remained,  leaning  against 
the  door-post,  and  peering  into  the  darkness,  till 
Sue  came  and  leaned  upon  her  shoulder,  and  looked 
out  in  the  same  direction.  Finally  she  said,  with  a 
very  musical  voice,  and  full  of  tenderness,  yet 
touched  with  decision : 

"O,  there's  no  use  being  alarmed,  Mother; 
father  has  lived  here  too  long  to  be  hurt  by  wolves. 
Let's  go  in,  and  go  to  bed  ;  it  is  getting  late ;  father 
will  come  when  he  gets  ready,  and  not  before,  and 
our  looking  for  him,  and  being  anxious  about  him, 
will  not  bring  him  any  sooner." 


BLUNT  "  STOVE  UP."  237 

The  mother  kept  her  place  at  the  door,  and  Sue 
resumed  her  seat  by  the  stove,  but  she  sat  uneasily, 
and  would  look  toward  her  mother,  as  if  she  wanted 
her  to  come  and  be  seated  too. 

"I  hear  somebody  coming  up  the  road,"  said 
Mrs.  Blunt.  % 

"O,  Mother,  you're  always  hearing  something 
no  one  else  can  hear." 

"Hush,  Sue,  and  come  here  and  listen,  and  see 
if  you  can't  hear  some  body  talking." 

Philip  ruminated  on  the  question  ,  how  can  things 
be  seen  by  hearing  ?  and  concluded  that  many 
truths  were  seen  that  way. 

Sue's  nerves  were  becoming  disturbed,  and  after 
listening  by  her  mother's  side  for  a  moment,  she  said 
with  a  quick  breath  : 

"I  believe  I  do  hear  some  persons  coming  up 
the  road;  Mr.  Force,  come  here  and  listen." 

Philip  came  to  the  door,  and  walked  into  the 
yard,  and  sure  enough,  voices  were  approaching 
the  house. 

"Let  us  go  in,  Mother;  I  don't  believe  father's 
in  that  crowd  ;  we'll  appear  like  dunces,  standing 
in  the  door,  this  time  o'  night,  when  strangers  are 
passing  along  the  road." 

The  mother  went  in  reluctantly,  and  Sue  closed 
the  door,  and  Philip  walked  slowly  toward  the  front 
fence,  and  could  distinctly  hear  two  or  three  men, 
not  far  off,  coming  that  way.  Presently,  he  saw 


238  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

three  men,  walking  close  together,  approach  the 
gate  near  where  he  was  standing.  He  could 
discover,  by  the  dim  moonlight  that  two  of  them 
were  lifting  Blunt  along,  as  if  he  were  unable  to  walk 
alone.  Philip  quietly  withdrew  from  their  observa- 
tion, and  went  round  to  the  back  ctoor,  and  en- 
tered the  room,  where  were  Sue  and  her  mother. 
Both  of  them  sprung  to  their  feet,  and  with  eager 
looks  came  close  to  Philip,  as  if  to  catch  in  the 
shortest  possible  time  what  he  had  to  say. 

"  Miss  Sue,  you  and  your  mother  must  be  calm  ;" 
and  after  a  little  hesitation  given  for  them  to  grow 
quiet,  which  they  did  not  do,  he  coolly  observed, 
they  looking  as  if  they  expected  a  ghost  to  stalk 
out  of  the  dead  wall : 

"I  think  Brother  Blunt  is  injured;"  here  Mrs. 
Blunt  put  in  a  scream,  and  Sue  looked  as  if  she 
wanted  to;  "  two  men  are  bringing  him  home." 

By  this  time  the  mother  and  daughter  were  great- 
ly alarmed,  and  their  expressions  of  grief  and  dread 
came  in  such  rapid  and  confused  succession,  that  it 
was  difficult  to  tell  from  which  of  the  two  the  words 
proceeded. 

At  this  juncture  the  front  door  opened,  and  Blunt 
was  lifted  into  the  house  by  Bob  Scates  and  Jo 
Weldon,  At  sight  of  the  blood  that  covered  her 
husband's  face  and  shoulders,  Mrs.  Blunt  gave  a 
shriek,  and  fell  senseless  to  the  floor.  Sue  came  up 
to  her  father  crying  and  inquiring,  alternately,  of 


BLUNT  " STOVE  UP."  239 

him  and  Bob,  if  her  father  was  killed,  and  what  had 
hurt  him. 

"Sue,"  said  Blunt,  in  a  husky  voice,  "I  am  not 
killed  by  a  long  jump ;  be  still  and  tend  to  your 
mother  there." 

Philip  had  run  to  the  kitchen,  and  brought  water, 
and  was  bathing  Mrs.  Blunt's  face  as  she  lay  on  the 
floor,  and  with  the  assistance  of  Sue,  she  was  soon 
partially  restored,  and  laid  upon  the  lounge,  where 
she  commenced  exclaiming: 

"Tell  me,  is  he  killed?  what  hurt  him  ?  "  and  so 
on. 

At  the  first  sound  of  her  voice,  Blunt  called  out 
in  stifled  tones  : 

"I'm  not  hurt  much,  Ruth,  only  stove  up  a  lit- 
tle, and  the  blood  knocked  out  of  me ;  keep  cool, 
Ruth." 

"Thank  God,  you're  not  dead,  then?" 

' '  Dead !  no,  I'm  worth  forty  dead  men  yet, 
Ruth." 

"  Hadn't  we  better  send  for  the  doctor,  father?" 
said  Sue,  leaning  over  the  pillow  where  he  lay,  and 
bathing  his  head  and  face  to  remove  the  blood. 

"What's  the  use  of  that?  What  do  I  want  a 
doctor  for?  I'll  be  all  right  before  long.  Take 
these  bloody  clothes  off  me." 

Mrs.  Blunt  soon  recovered,  and  Blunt  was  washed 
and  cleanly  dressed,  and  set  propped  in  the  bed, 
looking  somewhat  haggard  and  bruised. 


240  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"I  wish  one  of  you  would  go  for  the  doctor," 
said  Sue,  trying  in  vain  to  smooth  his  stubbed  hair. 

Bob  Scates  tendered  his  services  before  any  one 
else  had  time  to  speak. 

"No,  you  needn't  go  for  the  doctor;  I  tell  you 
I'm  not  hurt  much,  only  banged  up  a  little." 

But  Bob  was  gone ;  and  in  less  than  an  hour, 
Dr.  Heatem  and  young  Dr.  Svveatman  were  in 
the  room,  each  bearing,  on  his  arm  a  huge  pair 
of  saddle-bags,  and  were  puffing  and  perspiring, 
like  race-horses,  after  a  laborious  stretch.  And 
Mrs.  Heatem  and  her  daughter,  Lucy  Stone  Heat- 
em,  were  added  to  the  anxious  group,  and  all  were 
eager  to  find  out  what  could  be  done  for  the  general 
welfare. 

Blunt  had  made  known,  that  about  eight  o'clock, 
he  was  on  his  way  home,  riding  the  fractious  colt, 
when  it  took  fright  and  threw  him,  bringing  his  head 
against  a  fence  rail  that  lay  upon  the  ground.;  and 
he  knew  nothing  more,  till  he  found  himself  being 
led  home  by  Bob  Scates  and  Jo  Weldon. 


AN  OBSTINATE  PATIENT.  24.1 


CHAPTER   XXVIII. 

AN    OBSTINATE     PATIENT. 

Dr.  Heatem  was  so  absorbed  with  the  eventful 
scene  that  he  saluted  no  one  by  the  way,  but 
quietly  laid  down  his  saddle-bags,  and  deposited  his 
hat  and  overcoat  on  the  first  chair  he  came  to,  with 
as  great  gravity  as  a  prelate  would  fold  away  his 
robes  ;  and  then,  with  a  measured  step  and  averted 
eyes,  and  lips  closed  with  weighty  reflections,  he 
walked  to  the  bedside,  and  sedately  lifted  the  hand 
of  his  patient,  as  if  he  were  a  high  priest  about  to 
remove  the  golden  censer.  He  felt  his  pulse,  and 
observed  : 

"  Mr.  Blunt,  my  dear  friend,  you  are  perdigiously 
shattered  indeed,  sir.  It  becomes  profoundly 
necessary,  Mr.  Blunt,  for  me  to  introduce  into  the 
interior  of  your  aliamentary  receptacle  the  soothing 
aperient,  nervine." 

"Do  you  mean,  Doctor,  by  that  bursting  sen- 
tence, that  you  want  to  give  me  some  medicine?" 

"  I  am  happy  to  perceive,  Mr.  Blunt,  that  you 
have  sufficient  sagacity  left  in  your  debilitated  state 
to  form  a  correct  estimate  of  my  meaning." 

' '  Now,  Doctor,  I  would  as  soon  take  medicine 


242  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

from  you  as  from  any  other  man  alive  ;  but  I  don't 
think  I  need  it.    I'll  be  all  straight  in  a  short  time." 

To  this  remark  of  Blunt's  the  doctor  replied,  with 
a  show  of  profound  dignity  and  solemnity : 

"  Mr.  Blunt,  you  do  not  by  any  means  compre- 
hend at  all  the  magnitude  of  the  dangerous  criti- 
cality  of  your  situation.  The  contusion  upon  the 
side  of  your  head,  I  am  very  much  afraid,  indeed, 
sir,  has  fractured  your  skull  bone,  and  seriously 
shaken  the  equilibrium  of  your  cranium." 

"Oh,  the  equilibrium  of  your  granny!  Nothing 
short  of  thunder  and  bullets  could  crack  my  head," 
and  Blunt  ran  his  fingers  through  his  hair,  and 
worked  his  scalp  back  and  forth  as  .if  to  test 
whether  his  thinking  machinery  was  in  order ;  and 
an  expression  of  content  on  that  point  rested  on 
his  features,  as  he  called  to  Sue  to  bring  him  a 
drink  of  water. 

Sue  had  the  water  to  her  father's  lips  in  a  mo- 
ment, and  Blunt,  in  an  undertone,  inquired  of  her  : 

"Is  Bob  here   yet?" 

And  Sue,  observing  the  same  tone,  replied : 

"Yes,  father;  do  you  wish  to  see  him  ?"  and  she 
held  her  ear  close  to  her  father's  face,  and  rubbed 
his  forehead  and  temples  with  her  hands,  and  kissed 
him. 

Philip  says  that  the  effect  upon  Mr.  Robert  Scates 
of  this  last  mentioned  token  of  kindness,  on  the 
part  of  Sue  to  her  father,  reminded  him  of  a  person 


AN  OBSTINATE  PATIENT.  243 

shocked  through  sympathy,  while  looking  at  a 
friend  touched  by  an  electric  battery.  And  for  a 
moment  or  two  Philip  was  trying  to  unravel  the 
mysterious  philosophy  of  the  question  as  to  why 
Mr.  Scates  was  more  thrilled  by  that  kiss  than  Mr. 
Blunt. 

"I  want  to  speak  to  Bob  before  he  goes  away. 
You  had  better  fix  to  have  those  boys  stay  all 
night.  I  might  not  have  gotten  home  at  all  if  it 
hadn't  been  for  them." 

These  remarks  were  made  to  Sue  and  her  mother, 
who  were  both  standing  by  his  bedside ;  and  were 
made  as  if  no  one  else  was  expected  to  hear  them. 
Raising  his  voice  to  its  usual  key,  he  called  out : 

"  Bob,  you  and  Jo  are  not  to  go  away  from  here, 
to-night,  after  all  this  trouble  and  fuss  getting  me 
home." 

"Thank  you,  Mr.  Blunt,  I  can't  stay;  our  folks 
will  be  expecting  me.  I  shall  have  to  go,  unless 
my  services  should  be  needed.  As  you  seem  to 
have  enough  company  here  to  attend  to  you,  you 
will  have  to  excuse  me." 

Young  Mr.  Weldon  replied  to  the  same  effect. 

"There  is  no  use  of  talking,  boys;  you're  not 
going,  either  of  you.  You  needn't  tell  me  that  you 
never  stay  from  home  of  nights  without  asking  the 
old  folks  about  it;  so  you  are  going  to  stay,"  and 
he  turned  his  face  toward  the  doctor,  who  stood  by 


244  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

his  bedside,  wrapt  in  searching  thought  and  inscru- 
table reflections.      Blunt  inquired : 

"  What  was  you  going  to  say,  Doctor?" 
' '  I  was  going  to  remark,  Mr.  Blunt,  that,  in  the 
judgment  of  one  who  stands  ready  and  anxious  to 
restore  you  to  perfect  soundness,  the  more  com- 
posed your  exhausted  frame  kin  be,  and  the  less  you 
participate  in  the  exercise  of  thought  and  speech, 
the  more  favorable  will  be  the  effect  upon  your 
shattered  system." 

"  Oh,  Doctor,  my  system  is  very  little  shattered." 

"Right    at    that    point,    Mr.    Blunt,    is    where 

patients    are   exceedingly   liable   to    be    mistaken. 

They  are  often  non  compos  mentis  judges  of  the  true 

criticality  of  their  endangerments. " 

"Don't  talk  so  big,  Doctor,  to  a  common  man. 
If  you  were  speaking  to  Brother  Force  there,  then 
that  big  talking  might  do." 

The  doctor  made  no  reply,  and  it  was  pleasant  to 
witness  his  self-complacency  as  he  stood  over  his 
patient  with  a  parental  regard,  gravely  dovetailing 
the  fingers  of  both  hands  together  over  the  lower  but- 
ton of  his  capacious  waistcoat,  looking  forbearing, 
patronizing  and  dignified,  while  both  eyes  were  wisely 
contemplating  a  delicate  drop  that  had  formed  from 
perspiration  on  the  end  of  his  large  nose.  Finally, 
his  mind  took  a  practical  turn,  and  with  gentle  vigor 
he  drew  one  hand  across  his  upper  lip,  and  turning 
to  Sue,  remarked : 


AN  OBSTINATE  PATIENT.  245 

"  Suzin,  will  you  procure  for  my  accommodation 
and  your  father's  comfort,  a  little  water  at  boiling 
heat,  in  a  bowl  with  a  covering?" 

"Yes,  sir,"  and  Sue  hastened  from  the  side  of 
young  Scates,  and  ran  for  the  water. 

The  doctor  resumed  his  directions  in  a  tone  of 
command,  throwing  into  his  words  as  much  of 
sternness  as  the  gentleness  of  his  nature  would 
permit. 

"Hippocrates,  do  you  perceive  that  I  am  con- 
versing with  you?" 

"I  do,  sir,"  and  Hip,  in  nervous  haste,  pulled 
the  toothpick  from  his  mouth. 

"  Hippocrates,  you  will  immediately  remove  that 
hand  from  the  clock-shelf,  and  place  both  feet  upon 
the  floor,  and  give  careful  and  profound  attention 
to  my  instructions.  You  will  look  in  the  third 
poc'ket  of  Saddle-bags  Number  Two,  and  find  a 
diminutive  cotton  bag,  marked  nervine.  That  you 
will  speedily  hand  to  me,  without  derangement  of 
the  other  contents." 

"  Yes,  sir,"  and  he  entered  upon  his  search  with 
as  much  calm  enthusiasm  as  is  manifested  by  a  gov- 
ernment paymaster,  when  he  is  about  to  settle  with 
a  regiment. 

While  Hip  was  making  the  search,  the  doctor 
turned  to  Philip  and  remarked : 

"  I  am  glad  to  meet  you  again,  Mr.  Force  ;  and 
it  gratifies  me  to  see  you  looking  so  resuscitated. 


246  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

How  is  the  condition  of  your  system  this  evening?'' 
and  the  old  doctor  gradually  removed  one  hand 
from  the  lower  waistcoat  button  to  his  forehead,  and 
with  the  other  drew  a  large  cotton  handkerchief 
from  his  coat-pocket,  and  wiped  his  face,  which  was 
quite  red,  and  which  was  covered  with  drops,  re- 
sembling glass  beads  set  in  red  putty, 

Philip  turned  his  attention  from  Mrs.  Heatem, 
with  whom  he  was  conversing  on  the  lounge,  and 
replied  : 

"I  feel  considerably  improved,  Doctor." 

"I  knew,  Mr.  Force,  that  the  thorough  treat- 
ment you  transpired  through  last  evening  would 
vastly  rejuvenate  your  flaxulent  system.  I  feared, 
howsomever,  that  your  convalescence  might  be 
checked  by  the  frigidity  of  the  atmosphere,  or  the 
over-burdensome  laboriousness  of  your  ministerial 
functions  during  the  day." 

"Thank  you,  Doctor,  I  feel  very  much  better 
indeed,  sir." 

' '  The  fact  rejoices  me  to  a  very  high  degree,  Mr. 
Force  ;  both  because  of  your  own  betterment,  and 
also  for  the  great  elevation  it  will  give  to  my  grow- 
ing reputation,  for  this  Reform  System  is  yet  in  its 
infancy,  and  I  am  its  chief  representative  in  this  part 
of  the  continent." 

"  I  would  conclude  that  your  Reform  System  will 
have  a  wonderful  efficiency  when  it  reaches  its 


AN  OBSTINATE  PATIENT.  247 

maturity,  for  I  can  testify  that  it  has  remarkable 
power  in  its  infancy,"  said  Philip. 

' '  I  am  immeasurably  gratified,  Mr.  Force,  to 
hear  the  candor  with  which  you  express  yourself. 
I  should  be  happy  to  have  you  come  over  and  stay 
with  me  a  day  or  two,  and  I  will  talk  to  you  of  this 
sublime  system  in  extenso,  when  we  have  a  large 
abundance  of  leisure  hours.  You  will  now  please 
excuse  me,  Mr.  Force,  from  conversing  further 
at  this  critical  time ;  Mr.  Blunt's  alarming  symptoms 
call  for  undivided,  Herculean  effort." 

' '  Certainly,  Doctor,  certainly  ;  by  all  means  give 
Mr.  Blunt  your  care  and  attention." 

Philip  was  glad  that  the  conversation  was  broken, 
for  he  perceived  that  the  doctor  had  given  a  signifi- 
cance to  his  words  he  had  not  intended. 

' '  Lucy  Stone,  my  daughter,  you  will  go  to  the 
adjoining  room  called  the  kitchen,  and  bring  to  me 
a  bucket  half- full  of  hot  water." 

There  was  a  blush  on  Lucy's  cheek  as  she  has- 
tened from  the  side  of  Jo  Weldon  to  obey  her 
father.  Philip  says  it  looked  as  though  friend- 
ship had  written  its  story  between  them,  and  had 
added  to  the  end  of  it,  "  to  be  continued." 

"  Hippocrates,  are  you  paying  strict  attention  to 
me  ?" 

"  I  am,  sir,"  and  he  said  the  words  so  quick  that 
he  dropped  his  toothpick. 

' '  You  will  search  in  my  Compound  Saddle-bags, 


248  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

Number  One,  middle  row,  and  procure  for  me  the 
buckskin  bag  marked  'cayenne  pepper;'  and  in  the 
same  saddle-bags,  first  row,  remember,  you  will 
carefully  take  out  a  bottle  labeled  '  Number  Six, ' 
and  put  three  table-spoonsful  of  the  cayenne  pep- 
per, and  two  tea-spoonsful  of  the  Number  Six, 
into  the  hot  water  brought  by  Lucy  Stone." 

Hip  took  the  hand  from  the  shelf,  put  down  the 
foot  that  was  up,  and  held^the  goose-quill  in  his  teeth, 
and  leisurely  obeyed  his  master's  commands,  mut- 
tering to  himself: 

"He  lets  on  that  I  don't  know  anything 'bout 
them  medical  saddle-bags ;  jus'  as  if  I  hadn't  put 
'em  all  in  there  and  marked  'em  with  my  own 
hands.  He's  trying  to  show  off  big."  As  he  still 
fumbled  in  the  old  saddle-bags,  he  gave  a  grin  of 
mischievous  cruelty  and  a  chuckle  of  joy,  as  he 
continued  to  whisper  to  himself:  "  I'll  make  Blunt 
howl,  if  I  can  get  this  hot  stuff  between  his  toes." 

How  Hippocrates  succeeded  in  his  designs  will 
be  recorded  in  the  next  chapter. 


BLUNT  BESET.  249 


CHAPTER  XXIX. 

BLUNT  BESET. 

The  doctor  had  profusely  saturated  some  cotont 
batting,  with  the  "  Number  Six,"  and  removed  the 
handkerchief,  which  Sue  and  her  mother  had  at  first 
tied  over  the  patient's  wound,  and  with  a  stately 
bearing,  observed : 

"Mr.  Blunt,  I  will  now  administer  some  of  this 
'  Number  Six'  to  your  contusion." 

"  My  what?"  Blunt  was  not  paying  very  careful 
attention. 

"The  contusion,  Mr.  Blunt,  on  the  side  of  your 
cranium." 

' '  I  wish  you  would  talk  English  to  me,  Doctor ; 
is  it  my  head  you  want?" 

"Assuredly  it  is,  Mr.  Blunt;"  and  the  doctor 
drew  Blunt's  head  over,  and  held  it  against  his 
breast  with  his  left  arm,  and  carefully  laid  bare  the 
ugly  wound,  and  applied  the  saturated  roll  of  soft 
cotton. 

"Fire,  thunder  and  brimstone,  Doctor;"  and 
Blunt  jumped  as  if  a  torpedo  had  exploded  between 
him  and  the  bed  cords  ;  ' '  what  infernal  stuff  is  that 
you  are  burning  into  me?  " 


18 


250  THE  Two   CIRCUITS. 

Blunt  struggled  to  pull  it  off,  and  the  doctor 
struggled  to  hold  it  on,  and  clasped  his  head  with  a 
tenacious  grasp  closer  between  his  left  arm  and  his 
breast^  and  remarked  with  dignity  slightly  ruffled : 

"Heat  is  life,  Mr.  Blunt;"  Blunt  all  the  while 
bobbing  down,  as  if  he  expected  something  dread- 
ful to  strike  him  from  above,  and  the  doctor 
now  used  both  hands  to  hold  him  fast ;  ' '  heat  is 
life,  Mr.  Blunt;  you  will  endeavor  to  compose 
yourself;  heat  is  liable  to  evaporate  by  this  unnatu- 
ral aperture,  and  thus  a  part  of  your  life  go  out, 
and  this  is  a  chirurgical  interception,  to  prohibit  its 
escapement." 

' '  Goodness,  gracious  !  Doctor,  do  you  mean  that 
I  am  too  hot?  " 

"I  do  not,  but  contrariwise,  Mr.  Blunt." 

"Then  you  are  fooled,  for  I'm  almost  roasted  ;  " 
and  Blunt  drew  a  long  breath,  and  continued  to 
dodge  his  head  down  between  his  shoulders;  and 
the  doctor  replied : 

"That  is  one  of  the  deceptivities  of  your  ner- 
vous commotion.  You  will  please  use  your  best 
endeavors,  Mr.  Blunt,  to  remain  in  a  state  of  quies- 
sence.  You  will  now  place  your  body  in  an  upright 
position,  setting  on  the  edge  of  the  bed,  and  insert 
your  extremities  into  this  medicated  water,  which 
you  see  placed  here  for  your  benefit." 

"Do  you  mean  my  feet?  " 


BI/JNT  BESET.  251 

' '  That  is  a  correct  understanding  of  my  request, 
Mr.  Blunt." 

Blunt  obeyed,  with  rather  an  unyielding  grace, 
and  Hip  put  forth  his  utmost  efforts  to  hold  his  feet 
in  the  bucket. 

"  I  guess,  Hip,  you  needn't  clinch  them  feet  so 
tight,  I'm  able  to  hold  them  in  myself,"  said  Blunt, 
harshly. 

Hippocrates  did  not  appear  to  notice  Blunt's  re- 
marks, but  braced  himself  to  tighten  his  grasp.  In 
about  four  seconds,  Blunt  roared  out,  that  the  water 
was  burning  the  skin  off,  and  struggled  to  jerk  his 
feet  out,  exclaiming: 

"Let  go  there,  you  little  Doc.,  or  I'll  kick  you  a 
rod." 

But  Hip,  evidently  feeling  complimented  by  being 
called  the  "little  Doc.,"  made  no  reply,  but  pushed 
the  feet  further  down,  holding  them  with  more  des- 
perate determination  than  ever.  The  old  doctor 
sat  by  Blunt's  side,  and  held  him  around  the  arms ; 
but  he  finally  succeeded  in  kicking  over  the  bucket, 
and  kicking  Hip  over  against  the  stove,  which 
brought  from  the  bounding  youth  a  very  vehement 
and  impious  interjection,  which  Philip  says  began 
with  a  capital  G.  Blunt  at  the  same  time  exclaim- 
ing, under  considerable  excitement : 

"Whoop'ee!  Blessed  Maria!  my  feet's  scald- 
ed;" the  old  doctor  tried  to  say,  with  becoming 
gravity,  that,  heat  was  life,  but  before  he  could 


252  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

fairly  conclude  the  sentence  Blunt  cut  it  short,  by 
fiercely  shouting:  "If  heat  is  life,  I  am  bound  to 
live  from  this  on  ;  "  and  he  stooped  over  to  examine 
the  sanitary  condition  of  his  toes.  "  Great  Jupiter ! 
my  toe-nails  are  nearly  scalded  out  by  the  roots. 
Whew  !  Sue,  open  that  door ;  I  wish  I  had  kicked 
that  little  doc.,  inside  of  the  stove." 

"  Mr.  Blunt,  you  will  endeavor  to  control  your 
excitations.  The  hyperboreal  inclemency  intro- 
duced through  that  open  door,  will  greatly  militate 
against  the  calorific  salubriety  of  my  reform  medi- 
cal treatment.  Caloric  is  existence,  Mr.  Blunt." 
\ 

"I  am  very  much  obliged  to  you,  the  open  door 
feels  better  than  the  medicine.  I  would  not  choose 
any  more  reform  treatment." 

Heatem  stood  by  the  bedside  with  a  look  of  of- 
fended majesty,  and  dovetailed  his  hands  over  the 
lower  button  of  his  waistcoat,  and  the  glass  beads 
began  to  stand  out  on  the  red  putty.  And  poor 
Hippocrates  resumed  his  posture  of  standing  on 
one  foot,  while  holding  to  the  clock  shelf  with  one 
hand ;  and  instead  of  picking  his  teeth  with  the 
other,  he  was  using  it  to  soothe  the  lower  part  of  his 
back,  where  it  had  struck  the  red-hot  stove.  He 
looked  wickedly  towards  Mr.  Blunt,  and  occasion- 
ally cast  jealous  glances  towards  Jo  Weldon,  who 
was  seated  by  the  side  of  Lucy  Stone,  and  who  was 
rollicking  with  laughter  at  the  part  the  young  re- 
former had  played  in  the  drama.  Philip  was  seated 


BLUNT  BESET.  253 

by  the  side  ot  Mrs.  Heatem,  and  Bob  was  setting 
by  the  chair  made  vacant  by  Sue,  when  she  rose  to 
open  the  door ;  and  all  excepting  the  old  and  young 
doctors,  and  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Blunt,  were  laughing 
violently ;  the  latter  was  leaning  anxiously  over  her 
husband's  pillow,  sad  and  perplexed,  because  the 
doctor  looked  so  grave. 

It  was  easy  to  be  seen,  that  Blunt  felt  as  savage 
and  determined,  as  Christian  propriety  would  per- 
mit, and  as  he  laid  himself  back  on  the  pillows,  he 
said : 

' '  Now,  Doctor,  I  tell  you  what  it  is  ;  I  am  not 
sick  enough  to  be  drenched,  peeled  and  cooked 
alive,  yet.  I  didn't  want  them  to  trouble  you  by 
bringing  you  over  here  to-night ;  these  women  were 
scared  more  than  I  was  hurt,  and  sent  for  you.  If 
you  please,  Doctor,  let  me  rest  till  morning,  and  if 
I  feel  worse  by  that  time,  I  will  send  for  you,  and 
submit  my  case  to  your  hands." 

Blunt  spoke  with  such  emphasis  and  decision, 
that  there  was  clearly  no  prospect  of  his  changing 
his  mind. 

"I  had  contemplated,  Mr.  Blunt,"  and  the  doc- 
tor's countenance  as  he  made  the  remark,  indicated 
a  feeling  of  baffled  benevolence — "yes,  I  had 
concluded,  Mr.  Blunt,  to  subject  your  deranged  sys- 
tem to  a  thorough  course  of  the  reform  medical 
treatment,  which  would  have,  I  sanguinarily  hope 


254  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

and  firmly  believe,  rejuvenated  you  into  the  alacrity 
of  youthful  health  and  vigor." 

"/What!  did  you  intend  to  put  me  through  lo- 
belia, steaming  and  all,  besides  burning  my  head 
and  scalding  my  feet?  " 

"Most  assuredly,  Mr.  Blunt;  but  you  will  be 
pleased  to  take  notice,  that  you  are  neither  burned 
on  one  end  nor  scalded  on  the  other ;  heat  is  life, 
Mr.  Blunt." 

' '  Well,  Doctor ;  if  I  need  any  more  heat,  I  will 
let  you  know  in  the  morning.  But  you  had  all  bet- 
ter stay  all  night. " 

"  It  is  highly  important  and  indispensable,  Mr. 
Blunt,  that  this  noble  restorative,  nervine,  should 
be  introduced  into  the  interior  of  your  stomach." 

"  Is  it  hot?"  inquired  Blunt,  abruptly. 

"Not  by  any  means,  very  disagreeably  so,  Mr. 
Blunt;  but  heat  is  always  life." 

' '  Blast  your  old  heat,  I  have  had  enough  of  it ; 
let's  have  it,  if  it's  not  hot." 

' '  That  is  correct,  Mr.  Blunt ;  caloric  is  existenee 
forever." 

The  Heatem  family  were  soon  on  their  way  home  ; 
Jo  Weldon  accompanying  Lucy,  and  Hip  looking 
wickedly  at  Jo  for  so  doing.  Young  Scates  was 
still  sitting  by  the  side  of  Sue,  talking  in  a  tone,  no 
one  but  themselves  could  hear,  but  their  satisfac- 
tion therein  seems  to  have  been  mutual  and  com- 
forting. 


BLUNT  BESET.  255 

"  Bob,  come  up  here  close  to  me,  I  want  to  talk 
to  you."  Bob  stepped  to  the  bed  with  some 
embarrassment,  and  yet  with  a  roguish  twinkle  in 
his  eye.  Sue  started  for  the  kitchen,  and  Philip 
attempted  to  follow  her;  but  Blunt  called  out: 

"Stop,  I  want  both  of  you  to  stay  here;"  and 
turning  his  face,  so  that  he  might  look  Bob  in  the 
eye  ;  and  Bob  turning  his  eyes  so  that  he  looked  at 
the  clock  or  the  ceiling,  rather  than  submit  to  the 
intended  inspection  ;  Blunt  began  : 

"  Bob,  I  am  under  obligations  to  you  for  helping 
me  home  to-night." 

"  Not  at  all,  not  at  all,  sir ;  I  was  glad  to  be  able 
to  do  anything  for  you  at  such  a  time." 

"  But  Bob,  you  ought  not  to  have  attempted  to 
run  off  with  Sue,  without,  at  least,  asking  me  for 
her ;  if  I  had  refused  you,  you  would  have  had 
more  excuse.  I  don't  say  I  would  have  consented, 
remember." 

Young  Scates  fumbled  in  his  button  holes  with 
his  left  hand,  and  did  not  seem  to  know  what  to  do 
with  his  right ;  his  eyes  moved  about  uneasily,  and 
he  coughed,  and  shuffled  his  feet,  and  cleared  his 
throat  several  times,  before  he  knew  exactly  what 
to  say. 

"Well,  (a-hem)  Mr.  Blunt,  (a-hem-hem)  that's 
all  over  now,  it's  over,  Mr.  Blunt,  ^coughs,  not  very 
spontaneously)  I  did  not  get  her.  I  supposed  you 
would  not  consent,  (here  Scates  began  to  bracr 


256  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

himself)  and  I  was  determined  to  have  her  on  any 
terms,  if  I  could." 

Bob  rested  here  and  took  a  long  breath  of  relief, 
and  Blunt  replied  : 

"That  was  not  right,  Bob.  But  I  want  to  tell 
you  why  I  was  opposed  to  you.  You  see,  you 
have  been  rather  fond  of  sowing  wild  oats,  and  I 
was  afraid  you  wouldn't  be  fit  to  take  care  of  her 
unless  you  steadied  up.  Now,  Sue  says,  she  will 
not  try  to  run  off  with  you  again ;  and  I  have  con- 
sented, that  after  a  time,  when  you  have  proven 
yourself  competent  to  do  it,  and  have  straightened 
up,  and  quit  your  bad  habits,  you  can  be  married." 

Bob  moved  his  head  about  uneasily,  and  replied : 

"  I  will  make  every  effort  in  my  power,  sir." 

"I  told  Sue,  that  I  hadn't  much  faith  in  your  re- 
forming, just  for  the  sake  of  marrying  her,  and  that 
all  such  reforming  would  blow  out  after  you  were 
married.  Now,  look  here,  I'll  give  you  six  months 
probation,  and  if  you  can  fetch  yourself  up,  pretty 
nigh  straight,  by  that  time,  I  will  consent  that  you 
may  have  her  ;  how  will  that  do  ?  " 

"That  looks  reasonable,  sir;  any  thing  will  do, 
that  suits  you  and  Sue." 

"Will  that  do,  my  daughter?  " 

"Yes,  sir,"  said  Sue,  sitting  at  the  other  side  of 
the  room,  and  looking  toward  the  floor,  and  the 
color  flashing  in  her  face,  and  her  expression  of 


BLUNT  BESET.  257 

countenance  seemed  to  indicate,  that  she  was  will- 
ing to  take  him  now,  without  the  tedious  probation. 

' '  Let  me  tell  you  now,  Bob,  there  is  no  reform 
that  will  hold,  unless  the  heart  is  set  right ;  the 
choices  and  preferences  of  a  man  must  reach  out 
for  that  that  is  right  and  true  and  pure,  you  must 
be  more  anxious  to  please  your  Heavenly  Father 
than  to  please  Sue." 

' '  I  suppose  that  is  all  right,  but  I  know  Sue  bet- 
ter than  I  do  Him ;  I  understand  better  what  will 
please  her,  than  I  do  what  will  please  Him." 

"  Cease  to  do  evil  and  learn  to  do  well,  that's 
what  will  please  Him.  Put  your  whole  force  into 
trying  to  correct  your  tastes  and  habits,  and  He'll 
help  you.  He  thinks  more  of  you  than  Sue  does." 

Bob  swung  his  head  around  slowly  from  side  to 
side,  looking  alternately  at  the  ceiling  and  stove- 
pipe, and  his  eye  seemed  to  say  that  he  doubted 
whether  any  being  thought  as  much  of  him  as  Sue 
did ;  and  Sue  looked  at  him  in  such  a  manner,  as  if 
to  say,  that  she  doubted  it  too. 

"  Do  you  think,  Bob,  that  you  want  to  be  a  bet- 
ter man,  not  on  Sue's  account,  so  much,  as  to  please 
your  Heavenly  Father?" 

"  Well,  that  is  dividing  the  thing  up  so,  that  I 
can  hardly  tell  how  it  is.  I  never  saw  God,  I  have 
but  a  confused  idea  of  Him.  I  never  heard  Him, 
and  what  He  says  so  many  interpret  differently.  I 
have  heard  a  preacher  say  that  to  love  your  neigh- 


258  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

bor,  was  like  loving  God,  and  that  your  neigh- 
bor was  the  one  nearest  to  you.  If  that's  so,  Sue  is 
nearest  to  me,  and  God  can  make  sure  that  I  love 
Him,  if  loving  Sue  is  loving  Him." 

"But  then,  Bob,  what  does  you  and  Sue  loving 
each  other  amount  to,  if  you  do  not  try  to  please 
each  other,  and  work  for  each  other's  advantage ; 
and  so  what  does  it  signify  to  say  we  love  God,  if 
we  don't  try  to  please  Him,  do  as  He  says ;  without 
this  all  professed  love  is  a  mere  whim,  an  abstrac- 
tion, a  phantom  worse  than  nonsense,  leading  to 
mischief.  Now  it  pleases  God,  when  we  cease  to  do 
mil  and  learn  to  do  well. " 

"  I  shall  try  it,  sir." 

"  That  is  all  I  have  to  say  now,  Bob.  You  had 
better  stay  all  night." 

' '  I  am  obliged  to  you,  sir,  I  will  have  to  go 
home." 

Sue  followed  him  to  the  gate,  and  had  not  re- 
turned to  the  house,  when  Philip  went  to  an  upper 
room  to  rest  for  the  night,  wondering  how  much  of 
dew,  frost  and  cool  air  young  girls  can  endure  un- 
der Sue's  circumstances. 

Sue  and  Bob  will  figure  again  in  these  pages. 


THE  PEDLER.  259 


CHAPTER  XXX. 

THE    PEDLER. 

The  next  day  being  Saturday,  Philip  started  for 
Rose  Chapel,  where  he  was  to  preach  on  the  coming 
Sabbath.  Blunt  parted  from  him  with  reluctance, 
saying  they  would  meet  again  at  the  Quarterly 
Meeting  in  a  few  weeks.  Philip  was  directed  to  call 
on  Mr.  Scatterlip,  who  lived  near  the  chapel,  as  in 
many  respects  the  most  desirable  place  to  spend  the 
night. 

Philip  had  not  yet  become  completely  hardened 
to  the  saddle.  In  fact,  he  had  come  to  the  conclu- 
sion that  a  saddle  was  not  a  cushion  of  down. 
Therefore,  after  riding  but  a  few  miles,  and  the 
fractious  filly  dancing  up  and  down,  and  trotting 
sideways,  and  plunging  and  rearing,  and  champing 
the  bit  as  if  impatient  for  the  luxury  of  a  race, 
jumping  and  shying  and  backing  as  if  every  fence 
corner  was  regarded  as  a  battery  about  to  open  fire 
upon  her ;  and  thus  had  worked  herself  into  a  pro- 
fuse perspiration,  and  her  rider  into  a  paroxysm  of 
uneasiness,  Philip  concluded  he  would  vary  his 
misery  by  walking.  The  first  step  upon  the  soil 
brought  him  three  inches  deep  into  the  mud.  Any 
one  at  all  familiar  with  the  prairie  muck,  knows  very 


260  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

well  that  when  it  is  filled  with  water  it  is  about  the 
color  of  tar,  and  equally  as  adhesive.  He  had  not 
gone  a  dozen  steps  before  about  three  pounds  of 
the  clammy  mixture  was  sticking  to  each  boot ;  and 
by  the  time  he  had  walked  forty  rods,  his  centre  of 
gravity  was  brought  down  somewhere  in  the  neigh- 
borhood of  his  knees.  The  night  before  there  had 
been  considerable  frost,  and  the  morning  sun  was 
now  changing  its  sparkling  gems  to  vapor,  and  the 
flinty  roads  to  the  consistence  of  loblolly.  The 
prairie,  was  almost  a  dead-level.  The  lane  was  very 
long  and  lonely.  The  farm  houses  were  ever  so  far 
off  in  the  edges  of  the  groves  and  timber,  and 
looked  like  sloops  anchored  by  an  island  or  main- 
land. The  rail  fence  was  high,  and  frowned  dis- 
mally, like  the  rusty  bars  of  a  prison,  made  to  keep 
all  intruders  off  the  mottled  turf  inside,  and  keep 
them  in  the  mire  outside.  There  was  no  friendly 
stump,  nor  welcome  rock ;  no  lost  plank,  nor 
genial  piece  of  cord-wood  ;  no  logs,  nor  limbs  of 
trees ;  no  broken  fragment  of  wagon  or  sled ;  no 
inviting  piece  of  sod  big  enough  to  hold  two  black- 
birds standing  abreast;  nothing  on  which  Philip 
could  rest  his  feet  and  feel  that  he  was  out  of  the 
mud.  He  thought  of  the  Psalmist  sinking  in  the 
deep  mire  where  there  was  no  standing.  There  was 
this  difference,  that,  instead  of  sinking  very  deep 
in  the  mire,  the  mire  was  coming  up  over  him.  It 
had  already  pushed  its  ponderous  rolls  above  his 


THE  PEDLER.  261 

ankle-bones,  until  he  felt  it  necessary  to  stop  and 
tuck  the  lower  part  of  his  pantaloons  into  the  top 
of  his  boots.  This  was  accomplished  with  no  little 
difficulty  ;  for,  what  with  balancing  himself  on  his 
sliding  foundation,  and  the  sudden  jerks  of  the 
mettlesome  filly,  his  head  and  feet  several  times 
were  on  the  point  of  changing  places. 

The  frosty  air  was  softening,  so  was  the  mud.  The 
filly  was  softening,  but  only  in  the  dewy  smoothness 
of  t  her  hair.  Philip  was  softening,  not  into  patience, 
but  into  dampness  of  body  and  spirits ;  and  he 
breathed  like  a  man  who  had  run  a  race.  He  wad- 
led  some  distance  in  this  style,  and  the  lane 
looked  as  long  as  ever,  and  his  breath  was  shorter 
than  ever,  and  his  body  was  damper  than  ever  for 
that  day,  and  the  filly  was  as  much  of  a  fool  as 
ever ;  so  he  concluded  he  would  resign  himself  to  a 
quiet  rest  by  leaning  against  the  fence. 

As  he  cast  a  glance  over  the  path  he  had  trav- 
eled, he  saw  a  well-trimmed  peddling  wagon 
approaching,  and  its  two  horses  moving  in  a  slug- 
gish walk.  Philip  scanned  the  burly  driver  from  his 
broad-rimmed,  drab,  felt  hat  to  his  red-top  boots. 
His  hair  and  whiskers  were  the  color  of  varnished 
oak,  and  further  resembled  the  oak  where  the  knots 
were  many,  and  where  no  human  sagacity  could  tell 
which  way  the  grain  run.  His  coat  was  a  dust- 
colored  sack,  with  two  stories  and  an  attic  of 
pockets.  From  the  largest  upper  pocket,  on  his 


262  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

left  side,  was  seen  an  inch  of  round,  smooth  cork 
set  in  a  glass  rim.  From  a  similar  pocket,  on  the 
other  side,  hung  the  corner  of  a  bright-figured  ban- 
dana. The  coat  buttons  were  the  size  of  a  silver 
quarter,  and  had  a  changeable  shade  like  green  bot- 
tles. The  hues  of  his  vest  were  as  flashy  and  varied 
as  the  most  gorgeous  Brussels  carpet,  and  the 
buttons  thereof  looked  like  the  eggs  of  a  red  bird 
split  in  halves,  with  the  round  side  out.  His  pan- 
taloons had  an  imitation  of  the  Wabash  River 
running  down  each  seam,  and  the  spaces  between 
looked  like  a  variegated  map  of  Kentucky,  where 
no  county  has  a  straight  line  on  either  side.  His 
feet  were  thrown  over  his  reins,  and  his  hands 
swung  loosely  by  his  side ;  and  his  chin  had  drop- 
ped upon  his  breast  till  the  broad  hat-rim  nearly  hid 
his  face.  Philip  thought  he  was  the  picture  of 
reckless  resignation. 

As  soon  as  the  horses  came  opposite  to  where 
Philip  was  standing  they  stopped,  and  were  appa- 
rently filled  with  envy  at  the  freedom  of  the  little 
filly.  No  sooner  had  this  traveling  store-house  been 
checked  in  its  sluggish  career  than  the  proprietor 
quickly  and  confusedly  raised  his  head  and  rubbed 
his  eyes,  and  grabbing  the  reins,  called  out, 
"Whoa!"  This  ejaculation  was  entirely  unneces- 
sary, for  the  horses  had  anticipated  him  by  about 
four  seconds. 


THE  PEDLER.  263 

"Good  day,  sir,"  said  Philip,  still  resting  against 
the  fence. 

"By  George!  I've  been  asleep;  h'ar'-ye,"  and 
the  pedler  looked  around  as  if  he  were  seeking  the 
person  who  addressed  him. 

' '  You  must  find  it  comfortable  traveling  to  be 
able  to  cheat  the  night,  sir,"  said  Philip,  smiling. 

' '  Oh,  yes,  yes,  I  see  you  now.  Yes,  when  I 
get  into  one  of  these  confounded  long  lanes,  where 
there  is  nothing  but  a  canal  of  mud,  walled  in  by 
fence  rails,  I  just  let  my  coveys  have  their  own 
way,  and  I  have  mine,"  (here  was  a  great  stretch 
and  a  yawn,  and  a  couple  of  deep  grunts).  "Which 
way  are  you  traveling,  stranger?" 

"  In  the  same  direction  as  yourself,  sir." 

"I'm  glad  o'  that;  we'll  be  company.  This 
Illinois  is  the  blamedest  quiet  State  I  ever  traveled 
in.  A  man  can  roll  half  a  day,  and  hear  nothing 
but  the  click  of  his  own  horses  and  wagon,  and  the 
whirl  of  a  prairie-chicken  now  and  then.  I'm  glad 
to  see  you.  How  long  is  this  lane?" 

"  About  four  or  five  miles." 

"y<?-rusalem !  I've  come  two  or  three  miles 
in  it  already.  Glory  to  Gideon !  Eight  miles  ? 
Whew!"  and  the  pedler  looked  off  toward  the  end 
before  him,  as  if  he  felt  all  the  fatigue  in  him  now 
that  he  and  his  horses  would  feel  when  its  terminus 
would  be  reached,  and  he  drew  a  great  breath  and 
blew  it  out  again,  and  went  on:  "  I'd  like  to  see 


264  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

the  man  who  built  that  fence ;  he  must  have  had  the 
patience  of  Job.  I'd  just  as  soon  undertake  to  sail 
'round  the  world  in  a  flatboat  as  to  be  tied  down  to 
building  a  fence  like  that.  To  come  out  in  the 
morning,  and  look  ahead  on  such  a  dead-stretch  of 
straight  line  as  he  must  have  set  up — why,  it  would 
have  tired  me  to  death  at  one  full-breasted  look.  I 
M  ish  he  had  made  a  jog  or  two  in  it.  Have  you 
traveled  far,  stranger,  with  that  little  abridgement 
of  hoss  springs?"  And  here  he  leaned  his  elbow 
on  the  arm  of  his  wagon  seat,  and  sleepily  regarded 
Philip. 

"  Only  a  few  miles,  sir,"  said  Philip. 

"  Why,  you  look  as  if  you'd  a-traveled  forty. 
Been  walking  to  rest  yourself?" 

"I  have  walked  but  a  short  distance,  sir." 

"  Great  Margaretta,  man  !  Don't  say  any  thing's 
short  in  this  country.  If  I  were  to  travel  here  for 
six  months  the  short  way  of  my  eyes  would  get  the 
longest,  straining  at  these  infernal  long  stretches  all 
around  me.  Did  you  ever  notice  how  pop-eyed  all 
the  people  in  this  country  are  getting  to  be?" 

During  these  remarks  of  the  pedler,  Philip  was 
exercising  himself  scraping  the  mud  from  one  foot 
against  a  fence  rail,  and  abstractedly  replied  : 

"No,  sir,  I  had  not  perceived  it. " 

"Well,  it's  so.  They  all  tend  to  corpulency; 
that  is,  if  they  live  much  out  of  doors,  and  haven't 
run  the  flesh  off  from  chasing  after  cattle  and  hogs. 


THE  PEDLER.  265 

Why,  it  beats  the  world  for  fat  cattle  and  hogs  now ; 
they  develop  faster  than  men.  In  a  hundred  years 
or  two  the  prairie  race  will  be  as  fat  as  walruses. 
It's  the  most  spreading  country  that  ever  was,"  and 
the  pedler  took  a  long  breath,  and  glanced  with  a 
look  of  anxious  inquiry  toward  the  region  of  his 
waistband,  as  if  he  felt  the  expansive  influence 
already  taking  hold  of  him. 

And  Philip,  putting  the  foot  that  he  had  been 
cleaning  down  deeper  into  the  mud  than  ever, 
doubtingly  replied : 

"  The  idea  had  not  occurred  to  me." 

' '  I  know  from  the  look  of  your  eye  that  you 
doubt  the  theory.  But  you  haven't  been  long  in 
this  country?  And  you  look  as  if  you  had  been 
through  something,  and  didn't  have  a  fair  chance. 
You  look  sickly ;  consumptive,  mebbe  ?  or  had  the 
ager,  or  the  milk-sick,  eh?" 

"  Neither,  sir,"  and  Philip  ceased  to  lean  against 
the  fence,  and  straightened  up  erect,  and  made  as 
well  developed  and  vigorous  a  show  of  the  physical 
man  as  he  could. 

"  Now,  just  look  at  one  of  these  easy  Illinois 
farmers,"  said  the  pedler,  "  or  a  good-natured  cattle 
drover,  or  one  of  these  traveling  chicken-eaters  ; 
nearly  all  of  them  are  fat,  and  they  are  nearly  all 
pop-eyed.  You  would  think  the  bump  of  language 
was  powerful  in  them ;  but  it's  not  the  organ  of 
language  that  pushes  their  eyes  out,  it's  the  bump 


266  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

of  stretch.  The  half  of  them  sleep  with  their  eyes 
open.  They've  strained  them  so,  looking  at  prairie 
all  day,  that  by  night,  especially  in  summer,  they 
haven't  enough  eyelid  to  cover  'em.  I've  seen 
'em  sleep  with  their  mouths  wide  open,  so  as  to  let 
the  skin  go  up  to  cover  their  eyes,  and  then  it 
wouldn't  do  it.  And  I've  seen  some  of  'cm  pray 
with  their  eyes  wide  open. " 

' '  I  am  inclined  to  think  you  are  joking,  stran- 
ger,"  said  Philip,  and  he  began  to  button  up  his 
overcoat  as  if  preparing  for  another  start. 

"  Not  at  all,  not  at  all,  sir;  and  you'll  find  it  out 
if  you  live  long  in  this  flat,  swelled-out,  roomy 
country,"  and  the  pedler  gathered  up  his  reins  as  if 
he  was  making  ready  to  travel.  ' '  I  am  going  to 
get  me  a  pair  of  telescopic  goggles  while  I  stay  in 
Illinois,  to  keep  the  strain  off  from  my  eyes,  and 
bring  things  closer  to  me." 

Here  the  pedler  leaned  away  over  on  his  left  side, 
and  pushed  his  right  foot  out  between  the  dash  and 
the  seat  till  it  touched  the  front  wheel,  threw  back  his 
head  and  shoulders,  and  pulled  up  the  right  skirt 
of  his  coat,  and  thrust  his  right  hand  far  down  into 
the  right  pocket  of  his  pantaloons,  and  pulled 
therefrom  a  slender  twist  of  tobacco,  and  thrust  it 
into  his  mouth,  to  a  remote  distance,  and  let  his 
teeth  come  upon  it  like  a  pair  of  tinner's  shears, 
and  returned  about  four  inches  and  a  half  of  said 


THE  PEDLER.  267 

twist  to  its  usual  resting-place,  and  assumed  a  look 
of  indescribable  enjoyment,  and  winked  at  Philip 
as  if  all  the  ills  of  life  were  solaced  by  the  roll  in 
his  mouth ;  and  he  straightened  his  reins  in  one 
hand  and  his  whip  in  the  other,  and  put  both  feet 
against  the  dash-board  and  whistled  to  his  horses, 
and  they  resumed  their  former  sluggish  pace. 

The  little  filly  was  soon  plunging  up  and  plung- 
ing down,  and  capering  alternately  on  both  sides 
of  the  road,  and  snorting  in  the  air,  and  throwing 
her  ears  back,  and  kicking  at  the  pedler's  horses. 

"That's  a  mighty  frisky  little  budget,  that  mar' 
o'  yourn.  What'll  you  take  for  her?" 

"  She  does  not  belong  to  me,  I  am  glad  to — " 

Here  an  extra  plunge  of  the  filly  cut  short  the 
sentence,  and  it  required  considerable  skill  and 
strength  on  the  part  of  Philip  to  keep  square  in  the 
saddle. 

"  If  I  had  her  I'd  put  her  in  the  lead,  and  drive 
a  three-hoss  team.  I'd  fetch  the  wire  edge  off  o' 
her." 

And  the  pedler  gave  emphasis  to  his  words  by  a 
fierce  crack  of  his  whip,  which  caused  a  desperate 
leap  in  the  air  on  the  part  of  the  little  steed ;  at  the 
close  of  which  exploit  Philip  was  found  to  occupy 
the  space  between  the  back  of  the  saddle  and 
the  filly's  tail.  But  he  instantly  resumed  his  appro- 
priate seat,  observing,  with  forced  calmness : 


268  THE. Two  CIRCUITS. 

"She  has  about  taken  the  wire  edge  off  from 
me." 

"S'pose  you  hitch  her  to  the  back  o' my  wagon, 
and  get  up  and  ride  with  me?" 

Philip  was  glad  to  accept  the  proposal,  and  soon 
ensconsed  himself  by  the  pedler's  side. 


A  NEGATIVE  BATTERY.  269 


CHAPTER  XXXI. 

A   NEGATIVE   BATTERY. 

Many  observations  were  made  by  Philip  and  the 
pedler,  upon  the  weather  and  soil,  the  climate  and 
the  crops,  the  roads  and  people  who  travel  them, 
the  dwellings  and  those  who  inhabit  them,  politics 
and  those  who  live  by  them,  and  forty  other  com- 
mon-places that  have  been  stereotyped  for  nobody 
can  tell,  how  long.  The  filly  was  walking  meekly, 
as  a  pet  lamb,  in  the  rear ;  and  Philip  began  to  feel 
at  ease,  and  the  conversation,  with  its  numberless 
variations,  finally  turned  upon  religion ;  and  the 
pedlar  remarked,  that  for  his  part  he  never  went  to 
church. 

"  The  fact  is,"  said  he,  "  I  don't  believe  in  reli- 
gion, no  how;"  and  he  straightened  himself  and 
sat  erect,  and  braced  his  back  against  the  seat,  and 
threw  his  hat  over  his  left  ear,  and  looked  pro- 
foundly at  Philip,  and  both  eyes  drooped  with  a 
knowing,  consequential  depth  down  his  nose,  and 
the  cork  with,  the  glass  ring  seemed  to  rise  in  his 
left  pocket.  He  evidently  intended  this  last  remark 
to  be  the  strongest  indication  of  his  intelligence,  of 
any  thing  he  had  said  during  the  day  ;  and  he  con- 
tinued : 


2/o  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"  Religion's  a  humbug,  the  bible's  a  humbug, 
and  all  these  chicken-eaters  are  humbugs." 

"Who  do  you  mean  by  'chicken-eaters'?"  in- 
quired Philip,  who  now  began  to  discover  that  he 
was  by  the  side  of  a  negative  battery. 

"  Why,  I  mean  all  preachers,  especially  the 
Methodist  circuit  riders,  ha,  haw,  ho,  he."  His 
laugh -was  a  sort  of  triumphant  applause  over  the 
brilliance  of  his  wit. 

"Now,  Mister,  you  look  like  a  right  clever  fel- 
low; let  me  introduce  you  to  one  of  my  best 
friends."  Here  he  spurted  the  quid  from  his 
mouth,  and  grasped  the  cork  and  the  glass  rim,  and 
pulled  a  pint  bottle  of  whisky  from  his  pocket. 
"Now,  sir,  just  take  a  jorum  o'  that,  and  see  how 
it'll  lift  you  up  ;  it's  worth  all  the  religion  in  king- 
dom come,  to  calm  your  fears,  and  soothe  your  sor- 
rows, and  heal  the  wounds  and  stop  the  aches,  that 
flesh  is  heir  to ;  go  it,  Mister ;  it's  the  real  Old 
Bourbon." 

And  he  handed  it  toward  Philip,  with  sundry 
nods  and  winks  and  smacking  of  lips,  indicating, 
one  hardly  knew  what. 

"  I  am  very  much  obliged  to  you,  sir,  I  never  in- 
dulge in  spirits. "  At  the  same  time  he  felt  that  the 
offer  was  made  as  a  token  of  friendliness. 

"What!  don't  drink?" 

"Not  any,  sir;  I  drink  nothing  stronger  than 
coffee,"  said  Philip. 


A  NEGATIVE  BATTERY.  271 

"Great  Barbara!  where  were  you  raised?"  and 
lowering  his  tone  into  a  persuasive  cadence,  he  con- 
tinued: "  Oh,  now,  Mister,  take  a  drop  ;  it'll  fetch 
your  spirits  up ;  take  some,  it's  the  real  Simon  Bar- 
jona,  none  o'  yer  sod-corn." 

"Thank  you,  very  much,  indeed,  sir;  I  am  a 
confirmed  cold  water  man,"  said  Philip,  politely. 

"Gracious  Jerusha !  you'll  die  with  the  ager, " 
said  the  pedler,  apparently  disappointed,  that  Philip 
should  lack  the  capacity  to  appreciate  comfort ;  and 
withdrawing  the  bottle  he  had  extended  to  him,  he 
brandished  it,  adroitly  and  lovingly,  before  his  own 
eyes,  exclaiming : 

"I  tell  yon,  Mister,  if  you'd  keep  this  article 
about  you,  and  soak  your  inwards  with  it  several 
times  a  day,  it  would  fetch  color  to  your  cheeks, 
flesh  to  your  bones,  and  joy  to  your  heart,"  and 
the  mouth  of  the  bottle  and  of  the  speaker  came  with- 
in a  few  inches  of  each  other,  and  he  elevated  his 
chin,  and  threw  back  his  head,  and  the  bottle  fol- 
lowed ;  and  with  a  tone  of  one-fourth  singing  and 
three-fourths  speech-making  he  addressed  himself  to 
Philip. 

"  Here's  to  your  little  filly,  long  may  she  canter. 
I  take  the  spirits  down  to  bring  the  spirits  up." 
And  the  spirits  went  down  to  a  considerable  amount. 
"I  tell  you,  Mister,  it's  wholesome."  '''And  he 
smacked  his  lips  and  placed  the  bottle  in  his  pocket, 
and  assumed  an  air  of  ease  and  satisfaction  as  if 


272  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

with  that  draught,  all  ills  were  forgotten,   and  all 
comforts  possessed. 

"You  seem  to  enjoy  the  beverage,"  said  Philip. 

"Huge,  huge;  I  tell  you,  Mister,  you  don't 
know  what's  good,  you're  losing  one  of  the  main 
springs  o'  luxury." 

"I've  seen  too  many  people  ruined  by  that  lux- 
ury." 

"O,  get  out;  that's  because  they  didn't  under- 
stand how  to  manage  the  precious  juice.  I've  been 
sipping  the  exhilerating  nectar,  ever  since  I  can  re- 
member, and  it's  been  the  making  of  my  constitu- 
tion." 

' '  I  am  afraid,  sir,  that  it  will  prove  the  wreck  of 
your  constitution,  as  it  has  been  to  thousands," 
said  Philip,  adding  more  energy  to  his  enuncia- 
tion. 

"Well,  mebbe  so;"  and  the  pedler  cracked  his 
whip,  and  looked  straight  at  his  horses,  as  if  he 
would  enjoy  a  change  in  the  conversation  ;  "all  I've 
got  to  say,  is,  just  let  her  wreck.  The  water  bears 
up  the  ship,  till  the  timbers  rot,  and  then  the  water 
wrecks  her ;  but  the  ship  would  be  no  account  with- 
out the  water;  so  I'd  be  no  account  without  this j 
heavenly  consolation." 

"It  occurs  to  me,"  said  Philip,  "that  I  have 
seen  some  of  its  effects  that  were  not  very  heavenly ; 
where  its  consolations  were  desolations.  And  I  am 
firmly  of  opinion,  that  your  constitution  would  be 


A  NEGATIVE  BATTERY.  273 

stronger,  and  your  life  longer,  and  your  enjoyments 
greater  without  it.  It  is  a  depraved  taste  and  habit 
that  will  grow,  till  it  becomes  master,  a  tyrant,  and 
you  a  slave." 

"Glorious  slavery,  delightful  bondage,  heavenly 
master,  hallelujah  and  the  doxology.  Young  man, 
I  could  kiss  such  chains  as  these;"  and  he  gave  sev- 
eral friendly  pats  upon  the  bottle.  "Yes,  sir,  I 
could  kiss  such  chains  as  these  till  bed-time,  then 
dream  of  gliding  to  heaven  on  a  rainbow,  rolled  up 
like  Elijah,  in  a  chariot  of  greased  lightning,  ha, 
haw,  haw,  he,  he,  he." 

"If  you  should  leave  this  world  at  such  a  time, 
you  might  miss  the  track  Elijah  took,  and  go  off  in 
another  direction." 

"But  I'd  get  to  the  same  place;  and  however 
that  may  be,  I  am  going  to  get  as  much  heaven  out 
of  this  world,  as  I  can,  and  there's  lots  o'  heaven 
gone  from  that  old  bottle  into  me."  And  the  ped- 
ler  for  an  instant  looked  down  at  the  right  fore 
wheel  of  liis  wagon,  as  if  he  were  calculating  the 
amount  of  mud  that  was  rolling  around  with  it, 
and  then  asked  :  "Do  you  believe  in  the  bible, 
Mister  ?  " 

' '  O,  yes,  sir,  I  am  a  strong  believer  in  the  bi- 
ble." 

"Well,  I'm  not;  I've  been  cured  of  that  for 
some  years.  You  are  not  quite  as  old  as  I  am,  and 
when  you  lived  as  long,  and  seen  as  much  as  I  have, 


274  THE  Two    CIRCUITS. 

you'll  be  cured  of  all  such  superstitions.  Still  I 
believe  some  of  the  bible  is  very  good,  I  take  of  it 
what  my  judgment  approves,  and  let  the  rest  go." 

"Have  you  always  disbelieved  the  bible?"  in- 
quired Philip. 

' '  No,  sir ;  my  father  was  a  Blue  Stocking  Pres- 
byterian, strict  as  lightning.  He  was  an  elder,  and 
used  to  make  us  go  to  meeting  twice  every  Sunday ; 
and  we  had  to  take  an  hour  every  Sunday,  to  read 
the  bible,  verse  about,  by  the  whole  family.  We 
were  not  allowed  to  spit  cross-ways  on  Sunday ; 
and  we  were  made  to  eat  cold  bread,  and  cold  meat, 
and  had  nearly  every  thing  else  cold,  except  coffee, 
on  Sunday.  And  he  had  family  prayers  twice  a 
day,  and  the  prayer  was  as  long  as  this  lane.  He 
and  mother  generally  went  to  sleep,  while  the  old 
preacher  read  a  sermon,  an  hour  and  a  half  long, 
on  the  greatness  and  goodness  of  God,  and  the 
feebleness  and  wickedness  of  man.  These  were  all 
the  subjects  I  could  remember  his  ever  talking 
about.  Nobody  on  earth  could  understand  him, 
and  he  didn't  understand  himself.  While  he  would 
preach,  the  old  folks  generally  went  to  sleep,  and 
we  boys  chewed  paper  wads  and  fired  at  each  other 
and  the  girls ;  and  were  in  all  other  kinds  of  mischief. 

"  I  was  taught  to  believe  that  I  was  a  miserable, 
wicked  sinner ;  and  I  tried  to  feel  miserable,  but  I 
couldn't  make  it,  except  when  the  old  preacher 
talked  to  me  about  religion.  I  got  the  idea,  that 


A  NEGATIVE  BATTERY.  275 

the  more  miserable  I  felt,  the  better  God  would  be 
pleased  with  me.  When  the  preacher  looked  at 
me,  with  one  of  his  earnest  looks,  I  thought  he  was 
calculating  how  soon  I  would  be  ready  for  the  devil 
to  roast.  I  looked  on  that  preacher  for  a  long 
time,  as  one  especially  commissioned  to  hunt  up 
wicked  boys,  and  have  them  packed  to  their  brim- 
stone prison.  When  I  was  fifteen  years  old,  I  went 
to  live  with  an  uncle,  who  kept  a  drug  store  in  Cin- 
cinnati. He  owned  a  pew  in  the  Presbyterian 
church  for  the  benefit  of  his  wife  and  niece,  for  he 
had  no  children.  My  uncle  appeared  to  be  always 
just  on  the  point  of  joining  the  church,  and  that  kept 
the  preacher  and  nearly  all  the  members  among  his 
customers.  Every  few  nights  he  was  off  some 
where,  and  stayed  from  eight  to  ten  o'clock.  His 
wife  didn't  seem  to  care  where  he  went,  so  he  fur- 
nished her  the  rocks,  to  flourish  and  put  on  style. 

"After  a  while,  I  found  out  that  he  spent  those 
two  hours  with  a  club,  with  a  few  friends,  where 
they  had  a  social  time,  and  many  othef  sorts  of  a 
time.  The  club  finally  came  to  meet  in  a  room  over 
the  drug  store.  I  saw  that  my  uncle  kept  his  at- 
tendance at  this  club,  a  secret  from  his  Presbyterian 
friends.  I  slept  in  a  little  room,  separated  from 
this  club  room,  only  by  a  plank  partition.  They 
would  talk  and  dispute  and  read  there,  sometimes 
till  twelve  o'clock  at  night.  There  was  a  large  book 
case  in  that  room,  and  I  could  hear  them  lock  it 


276  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

every  night,  just  before  they  left.  Their  talking 
excited  my  curiosity,  and  I  determined  to  get  into 
that  book  case,  and  see  what  they  were  up  to.  For 
a  little  while,  for  a  number  of  days,  and  for  one 
whole  Sunday,  I  worked  on  that  book  case,  but 
could  find  no  key  that  would  unlock  it.  I  felt 
mean  over  my  curiosity,  and  felt  that  it  was  a  little 
business,  and  resolved  several  times  to  let  the  old 
thing  go.  But  every  time  the  club  met,  my  curios- 
ity would  get  the  better  of  me,  and  I  would  go  at 
it  again.  I  was  afraid  there  might  be  something 
alive  in  it,  and  that  it  would  jump  out  as  soon  as  I 
opened  it,  and  thus  betray  me. 

"At  last  I  got  a  key  that  turned  the  bolt,  and 
Great  Jehosophat !  there  was  nothing  in  the  old 
thing,  but  books-and  pamphlets.  I  was  disgusted, 
for  the  old  concern  and  all  its  contents,  didn't  pay 
for  my  loss  of  self-respect,  in  prying  around  where 
I  had  no  business.  But  when  the  club  met  again, 
and  were  so  greatly  interested,  and  made  so  much 
ado,  my  curiosity  was  up  again,  and  so  I  set  in,  the 
first  chance,  to  examine  the  books  and  papers.  If 
they  had  shown  no  caution  or  secretiveness  about 
these  documents,  I  never,  probably,  would  have 
read  any  of  them. 

' '  Nearly  all  these  books  were  against  the  bible, 
and  the  churches,  and  preachers,  and  religion  gen- 
erally. Here  were  the  works  of  Volney,  Paine, 
Voltaire,  Andrew  Jackson  Davis,  Harriet  Marti- 


A  NEGATIVE  BATTERY.  277 

neau,  H.  G.  Atkinson,  Theodore  Parker,  and  many 
others  of  the  same  sort. 

' '  I  read  their  journal,  in  which  they  kept  a  synop- 
sis of  their  discussions  and  conclusions,  and  from 
that,  and  reading  those  books,  I  come  to  the  con- 
clusion that  the  bible  and  religion  were  humbugs." 


278  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER   XXXII. 

VIEWS    VARY. 

"  Did  your  uncle  embrace  the  same  views?"  in- 
quired Philip. 

' '  Of  course  he  did ;  but  he  never  let  his  Presby- 
terian friends  know  it,  and  I  was  careful  never  to 
allude  to  the  subject.  About  a  year  after  I  had 
looked  into  that  old  bookcase,  the  club  and  library 
were  moved  to  other  quarters.  But  before  they 
went  I  got  an  inkling  that  they  were  going,  so  I  set 
down  a  list  of  all  the  books  I  had  not  read  up  to 
that  time,  and  got  them  afterwards." 

"Are  you  better  satisfied  with  your  new  princi- 
ples than  with  your  former  belief?" 

' '  Well,  the  fact  is,  Mister,  I  had  no  belief  at  all 
before  I  read  them  books.  I  sort  o'  felt  that  what 
father  and  mother  said  and  done  was  right,  without 
knowing  the  reason  why." 

"Would  you  advise  a  young  man  to  discard 
religion  and  the  bible  as  unworthy  of  belief?" 

"  Well,  no,  not  exactly.  When  I  say  the  bible 
and  religion  are  humbugs,  I  *mean  they  are  the  way 
the  preachers  generally  interpret  and  explain  them. 
There  are  many  good  things  in  the  bible,  and  man 
is  naturally  a  religious  being.  I  believe  in  what  I 


VIEWS  VARY.  279 

call  a  liberal  religion,  and  liberal  views  of  the  Scrip- 
tures. I  believe  there  is  a  God,  and  that  He  is 
everywhere  present,  and  in  everything,  and  that 
everything  is  a  part  of  God.  He  is  the  essence  of 
the  universe,  and  all  things  are  developments  of 
God." 

"That  would  appear  to  destroy  the  personality 
of  deity;  it  would  seem  to  do  away  with^His  indi- 
viduality and  identity." 

' '  Of  'course  it  does.  That  old  idea  of  there 
being  a  tremendous  God,  who  holds  the  power  to 
bless  and  curse  us  everlastingly,  is  about  played  out. 
It  was  got  up  by  preachers  to  frighten  men  and 
women,  and  keep  them  at  their  mercy.  I  tell  you, 
Mister,  that  old  theology  is  about  exploded." 

"Then  you  do  not  regard  the  Christian  religion 
or  its  founder  as  divine  ?" 

' '  Well,  in  some  respects  they  are,  but  not  as 
preachers  preach  it.  Christianity  brings  about  .a 
higher  development  of  humanity  than  old  heathen- 
ism. Christ  was  divine  because  He  was  in  advance 
of  His  age,  and  had  in  Him  a  high  development  of 
the  Absolute.  As  Mr.  Emerson  says,  'We  are  all 
parts  or  particles  of  God,'  and  as  he  says  again, 
'The  soul  of  man  is  the  highest  intelligence  in  the 
universe ;'  so,  where  there  is  the  most  soul,  there 
is  the  most  deity ;  and  as  Christ  had  a  great  soul, 
He  was  a  noble  manifestation  of  deity." 

"  According  to  that  teaching,  God,  manifested  in 
20 


280  THE  Two  CIRCUITS 

Christ,  is  only  a  higher  developmt/it  of  God  mani- 
fested in  a  brute.  And  if,  as  you  say,  man  is  the 
highest  intelligence  in  the  universe,  who  has  any 
right  to  call  him  to  account  for  his  conduct?  And 
your  theory  seems  to  abolish  the  distinction  between 
right  and  wrong ;  for  how  can  deity  offend  against  it- 
self? And  if  God  is  everything,  and  everything  God, 
why  everything  has  a  right  to  do  as  it  pleases." 

"Oh,  well,  now,  Mister,  this  old  notion  about 
good  and  evil  is  all  bosh ;  for,  as  Mr.  Emerson  says, 
'Evil  is  good  in  the  making. '  He  tell  us,  beauti- 
fully, '  The  divine  effort  is  never  relaxed  ;  the  car- 
rion in  the  sun  will  convert  itself  into  grass  and 
flowers  ;  and  man,  though  in  brothels  or  jails  or  on 
gibbets,  is  on  his  way  to  all  that  is  good  and  true. ' 
This  old  idea  about  sin  is  pretty  much  gone  up." 

"  It  occurs  to  me,  then,  according  to  your  theory, 
if  a  man  steals  and  lies,  and  gets  drunk  and  kills 
his  neighbor,  he  is  on  the  road  to  all  that  is  good 
and  true.  It  don't  seem  to  work  right.  "• 

"I  see,  Mister,  you  don't  understand  it,  that's 
all.  It  is,  as  Mr.  Emerson  says,  'the  deity  working 
out  of  him  in  another  way  we  are  not  skilled  in. '  ' 

"  I  should  call  it  the  devil  working  out  of  them 
in  a  way  too  many  of  them  are  skilled  in.  And 
your  doctrine  don't  seem  reasonable  ;  for  if,  as  you 
say,  God  is  everything,  and  everything  God,  the 
question  occurs,  who  made  all  things?  Did  one 
thing  make  another,  or  did  everything  make  itself? 


VIEWS  VARY,  281 

Does  it  look  reasonable  that  myriads  of  things  can 
be  made  and  have  no  maker  ?" 

"Oh,  Mister,  these  things  are  developments  and 
products  of  certain  laws  of  the  universe." 

"  Well,  then,  who  made  the  laws,  and  who  origi- 
nated all  things  ?  They  must  have  had  a  maker 
superior  to  and  distinct  from  them.  Your  wagon  is 
not  the  wagonmaker,  nor  the  wagonmaker  the 
wagon  ;  that  fence  is  not  the  builder,  and  the  builder 
is  not  the  fence ;  those  rails  are  not  the  men  who 
split  them,  neither  are  the  men  who  split  them  the 
rails.  It  does  appear  to  me  that  the  maker  is  always 
distinct  from  and  superior  to  the  things  made. 

"And  then  again,  you  are  not  me,  nor  am  I  you, 
and  neither  of  us  is  anybody  else.  I  know,  think, 
approve  and  disapprove  for  myself.  In  these,  and 
many  other  respects,  I  am  not  everybody,  nor  is 
everybody  me.  And  as  I  have  an  identity  and 
individuality  and  thinking  of  my  own,  distinct  and 
separate  from  all  others,  does  it  not  look  reasonable 
that  the  Great  Maker  of  us  all  possesses  capacities 
and  powers  superior  to  all  created  intelligences  com- 
bined ?  How  can  he  impart  capacities  and  powers 
he  does  not  possess?" 

"Didn't  I  just  tell  you  that  we  believe  that  the 
soul  of  man  is  the  highest  intelligence  in  the  uni- 
verse;  it  is  the  highest  development  of  deity." 

"Still  your  theory  looks  unreasonable,  for  there 
are  millions  of  things  that  a  man  cannot  do ;  mil- 


282  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

lions  of  effects  that  he  has  no  capacity  to  produce. 
Now,  look  at  that  crow  upon  the  fence.  Suppose 
I  should  kill  it ;  who  has  skill  enough  to  give  it  life 
again  ?  and  who  could  give  it  life  in  the  first  place, 
and  power  of  motion,  and  the  tone  of  its  voice, 
harsh  as  it  is?  It  seems  very  clear  to  me,  my 
friend,  that  a  wiser  mind  and  a  stronger  hand  than 
ours  plans  and  directs  the  affairs  of  creation." 

' '  Now,  Mister,  I  see  you  are  getting  a  little  too 
tough  for  me.  I  don't  think  you  understand  the 
high  and  sublime  truths  of  Emerson  and  Parker." 

"  Well,  I  do  not  know  very  much  about  what 
they  teach,  but  if  your  expositions  of  their  teach- 
ings are  correct,  it  don't  take  much  knowledge  of 
truth  to  prevent  me  from  accepting  such  theories." 

"Blame  it  all,  Mister,  I  think  you  are  preju- 
diced." 

"I  do  not  see  how  that  can  be.  I  have  no 
prejudice  against  you,  certainly  ;  and  I  have  none 
against  Mr.  Emerson,  or  Parker ;  and  if  your  rep- 
resentations of  their  sentiments  be  fair,  and  I  have 
no  reason  to  doubt  they  are,  I  think  it  would  hardly 
pay  to  give  much  attention  to  them. 

' '  But  you  will  please  excuse  me ;  here  is  the 
road  where  I  must  turn  off.  I  am  very  much 
obliged  to  you,  for  this  ride ;  it  has  been  a  great 
relief  to  me." 

The  pedler  stopped  his  wagon,  and  in  an  abstract 
way,  observed  : 


VIEWS   VARY.  283 

"Under  no  obligations  at  all,  sir;  I  am  glad  to 
have  had  your"  company.  You  baulked  me  a  little 
in  the  argument,  but  you  did  it  cleverly.  I'd  like  to 
know  your  name,  and  where  you  live,  and  what 
you  follow.  Here  you  have  been  riding  with  me 
for  some  miles,  and  you  have  pumped  me,  or  helped 
me  to  pump  myself,  till  I  have  told  my  name,  busi- 
ness and  opinions,  and  I  don't  know  who  you  are, 
nor  what  you  drive  at." 

"  My  name  is  Force;  I  am  a  Methodist  preacher 
on  this  circuit." 

The  pedler  drew  back  and  up  in  amazement  and 
confusion,  and  stared  at  Philip,  exclaiming : 

"Great  Margaretta  Almighty!  Are  you  a 
preacher  ?  Thunderation  !  I  beg  pardon,  I  wouldn't  • 
said  so  much  against  preachers  if  I'd  known  you 
was  one.  Tell  ye  what  it  is,  Force,  you've  got  to 
put  on  a  straight  coat  and  white  cravat,  and  look 
more  sadly  sour  and  savagely  humble,  if  you  want 
a-body  to  know  you're  a  preacher  on  sight.  If  I'd 
been  shooting  among  a  thousand  men  for  a  preacher, 
I'd  never  snapped  at  you." 

By  this  time  Philip  was  making  efforts  to  re- 
mount his  uneasy  charger,  and  the  pedler  kept  on 
talking,  gently  handling  the  neck  of  his  bottle. 

"  Gr-whillikens !  Mr.  Force,  I  believe  I  sort  o' 
like  ye  after  all.  I'm  going  to  think  on  your  notions, 
and  maybe  we'll  meet  again  some  time."  (His  fin- 
gers still  fumbling  with  the  bottle-cork.)  "  On  the 


284  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

whole,  Mr.  Force,  don't  put  on  the  white  cravat 
and  die-away  face ;  be  a  man  like  you  are  now,  as 
well  as  a  preacher ;  you'll  get  hold  of  the  people 
better.  Good-bye.  I'll  think  on  what  you  said 
about  the  bottle  too ;  but  I  believe  I  must  have 
another  jerk  at  it  before  I  think  much.  And  he 
stood  up,  and  bringing  the  bottle  to  his  lips,  ex- 
claimed :  ' '  Here's  to  your  snorting  filly ;  long  may 
she  canter." 

And  he  replaced  the  bottle,  observing : 

"Ah,  it's  wholesome,  Mr.  Force,  but  I'll  think 
on  what  you  said  about  it.  Good-bye,  Mr.  Force." 

' '  Good-bye,  Mr.  Sackett.  Heaven  save  you 
from  the  bottle,  and  from  opposition  to  the  bible." 

"  111  think  on  both  of  'em.     Good-bye." 


SCATTER  LI  p.  285 


CHAPTER -XXXIII. 

SCATTERL1P. 

After  riding  a  short  distance  from  the  main  road, 
Philip  came  to  one  of  those  places,  where  several 
roads  branch  in  as  many  different  directions;  and 
for  some  moments  he  was  puzzled  about  which  of 
the  several  he  should  take.  While  he  was  calcula- 
ting the  chances,  he  saw  a  young  man  on  horseback 
coming  to  meet  him.  The  attire  of  this  youth  was 
of  primitive  simplicity  ;  and  there  were  a  great  many 
other  things  about  him  that  were  primitively  simple. 
Philip  addressed  him : 

"  Good  morning,  my  young  friend." 

"How-de-do;"  and  the  rustic  looked  as  if  he 
had  suddenly  lost  all  his  friends,  and  regarded  Philip 
as  the  pioneer  of  all  his  enemies,  and  essayed  to 
pass  on. 

"  My  young  friend,  which  of  these  roads  leads  to 
Rose  Chapel  ?  " 

The  youth  reined  in  his  horse,  and  timidly  re- 
plied : 

"  D'ye  mean  the  Methodis'  meetin'  house?" 

"Yes,  sir." 

"  Wall,  are  ye  goan'  thar  ?  "  and  the  young  man 
brightened  slightly. 


286  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"Yes,  sir;  can  you  direct  me?" 

"Wall,  I  reckon,  you  mout  go  down  thar ;  " 
pointing  to  what  might  be  either  of  two  or  three 
roads  ;  "till  ye  git  to  Sloat's  bawn  ;  an'  if  ye  take  to 
the  right  thar,  ye'r  in  the  wrong  road,  for  that  road 
goes  to  Spodark's  mill. " 

"  How  will  I  know  Sloat's  barn  ?  " 

"Thought  everybody  know'd  Sloat's  bawn,  go  to 
the  left  hand  at  the  bawn,  till  ye  come  agin  a  fence  ; 
I  split  most  o'  the  rails  in  that  fence,  and  froze  my 
heels  one  winter,  and" — 

Philip  cut  this  sentence  short,  by  inquiring : 

' '  What  course  shall  I  take,  when  I  get  to  the 
fence?" 

"  Wy,  you'll  go  right  up  it,  till  ye  come  fornenst 
a  hay-stack,  an'  when  ye'r  thar,  ye'r  purty  nigh  in 
sight  o'  the  meetin'  house,  an'  a'  most  anybody 
thar  kin  tell  ye  whar  'tis." 

"Which  of  these  roads  will  I  take?  " 

"  Take  the  middle  one." 

"  But  there  two  or  three  middle  ones." 

"Wall,  take  the  middlest  one." 

"What  sort  of  a  barn  is  Mr.  Sloat's  ?" 

"  It's  middlin',  old  like." 

"Is  it  log  or  frame?  " 

"It's  pretty  much  log;  Sloat's  goan'  to  build  a 

new    one  next  spring;  he's  got   most   the   timber 
out  a'  ready." 


SCATTERLIP. 

"  Much  obliged  to  you  my  young  friend  ;  good 
day." 

"Good  day." 

After  much  searching  and  wandering,  and  inqui- 
ring and  retracing  of  steps  out  of  wrong  roads,  and 
laying  down  fences,  and  encountering  several  regi- 
ments of  dogs,  Philip  reached  the  premises  of  Mr. 
Scatterlip.  He  found  that  gentleman  employed  in 
unloading  wood  from  his  wagon,  before  the  door  of 
his  humble  dwelling.  The  fire-wood  was  limbs  of 
trees,  of  small  sizes,  and  from  twelve  to  sixteen  feet 
long. 

"Good  day,  sir;"  said  Philip,  "does  Mr.  Scat- 
terlip live  here?  " 

The  person  addressed,  threw  from  his  wagon,  one 
of  the  fourteen  feet  sticks,  which  was  so  crooked 
that  it  was  a  long  time  before  it  would  lie  still,  after 
touching  the  ground ;  and  he  balanced  himself  on 
one  of  the  ram's  horn  sticks,  on  top  of  the  load, 
and  faced  Philip,  and  threw  his  hat  over  on  the  back 
of  his  head,  and  exclaimed  : 

"  H'ar  ye'r  ?  fine  day ;  good  crops  ;  signs  o'  rain  ; 
how's  it  whur  you  live?  what's  the  news?  stranger 
in  these  parts?" 

Philip  pushed  in  a  word,  intimating  that  he  was 
the  preacher. 

"  O,  ah,  em,  yes;  beg  pardon,  yes;  glad  to  see 
you ;  get  off,  get  off;  come  in,  come  in  ;  yes,  bin 
lookin'  for  ye ;  thought  you'd  be  here  to-day ;  fine 


288  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

.day;  looks  like  rain;  'spected  Brother  Celebs;  sick 
mebbe  ?  gone  some  whur  ?  hear  he's  married  ;  good 
wife  ?  preachers  ought  to  have  good  wives ;  fact, 
ought,  of  course,  of  course." 

By  the  time  the  sluice  of  words  had  run  thus  far, 
both  parties  had  reached  the  ground,  and  were 
shaking  hands  ;  but  there  was  no  cessation  of  words 
with  Scatterlip. 

' '  Bin  sick,  Brother  Force  ?  look  feeble,  sickly, 
bin  down  ?  come  in,  come  in ;  "  and  he  opened  the 
front  door,  ' '  git  out,  git  out,  I  say,  Rig,  Trig  and 
Tiber,  and  ye  two  pups,  git  out ;  they  won't  bite, 
come  in,  Brother  Force,  come  in." 

Mr.  Scatterlip  walked  a  step  or  two  in  advance, 
looking  backwards  and  forwards,  bowing  and  scrap- 
ing, and  kicking  at  the  pups,  and  pulled  off  his  hat 
and  turned  around  several  times,  and  dodged  along 
sideways  and  all  ways,  and  rubbed  his  hands  and 
slapped  his  sides,  run  his  fingers  through  his  hair, 
and  assumed  every  imaginable  posture,  except 
standing  on  his  head,  or  walking  on  all-fours. 

' '  Take  a  cheer,  take  a  seat,  be  seated,  take  the 
rocking-cheer — git  out,  every  one  of  ye,  git  out 
there;"  and  the  kicking  was  very  active,  on  the 
part  of  Scatterlip,  which  brought  several  piercing 
yelps  from  the  inquisitive  pups,  and  landed  them 
out  of  doors.  Their  master  walked  to  the  half- 
open  door  of  the  next  room,  and  called  out : 

' '  Come  in  Sary,  come  in,  come  Sary,  come  in — 


SCATTERLIP.  289 

git  out,  geet-tout,  every  dog  of  ye,  git  out."  The 
dogs  had  applied  the  call  to  themselves,  and  for  their 
misunderstanding  were  kicked,  with  unceremonious 
vigor,  over  the  threshold. 

"Come  in  Sary;  O,  well  Sary,  come  in;  jist  lay 
ye'r  work  down,  and  come  in  ;  yes,  you'd  as  well 
come  in,  Sary;"  and  Sary  came.  "This  is  our 
young  preacher,  Sary;  Brother  Force,  this  is  my 
wife ;  take  a  seat,  Brother  Force,  take  the  rockin'- 
cheer  ;  sit  down,  Sary." 

Philip  wondered  how  so  handsome,  modest,  and 
sensible  looking  woman  ever  consented  to  become 
the  wife  of  such  a  rattle-brained  man. 

"  Let  me  have  ye'r  hat  and  overcoat ;  it's  gettin' 
warmer ;  have  rain  ;  fallen'  weather ;  bad  roads  ; 
early  winter ;  geese  gone  south ;  cloudin'  up ;  feels 
like  snow ;  hope  we'll  have  a  good  day  to-morrow ; 
— git  out  there ; "  and  the  noses  of  the  two  pups 
retreated  from  the  door. 

Scatterlip,  talking  all  the  while,  seated  himself, 
and  put  his  right  elbow  on  the  table,  and  threw  his 
right  hand  under  his  chin,  and  the  left  over  the  back 
of  his  chair,  where  it  thumped  and  whacked  out  sev- 
eral loud  snatches  of  tunes.  He  pulled  his  whis- 
kers briskly,  and  put  on  and  off  his  hat  twenty 
times,  and  ran  his  fingers  through  his  hair,  and 
picked  his  teeth  with  a  darning  needle,  which  he 
had  jerked  out  of  the  window  curtain,  close  by  his 
right  ear.  He  kept  both  feet  teetering  and  patter- 


290  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

ing  about  the  floor,  in  a  vehement  effort  to  make 
them  keep  time  with  his  left  hand.  He  changed 
hands  and  legs  and  darning  needle  every  few  mo- 
ments ;  and  pulled  his  chair  away  from  the  wall  and 
pushed  it  back  again,  and  pulled  it  out  again,  often  ; 
and  at  last  tilted  it  over  on  its  hind  legs,  and  leaned 
against  the  wall,  and  threw  both  feet  on  the  table, 
where  they  see-sawed  and  rattled  away,  with  in- 
creased speed  and  noise  ;  and  he  dovetailed  both 
hands  together  back  of  his  head,  thereby  forming  a 
cushion  to  protect  his  organ  of  self-esteem.  His 
lips  were  thin  and  long-drawn  out,  and  their  con- 
tracting and  expanding  power  was  equal  to  the  most 
flexible  rubber.  His  eyes  were  variegated  and 
changeable,  and  rolled  rapidly  every  way,  in  the  vain 
effort  to  keep  time  with  his  lips.  His  nose  was  thin 
and  short,  yet  was  never  the  same  length  for  more 
than  four  consecutive  seconds  ;  it  would  seem  that 
its  foundations  were  so  constantly  unsettled,  that  it 
never  continued  long  enough  in  one  stay,  to  grow 
into  respectable  proportions.  He  played  on  the  fife, 
and  eat  pepper  sauce,  drank  sasafrass  tea,  practiced 
the  water-cure,  and  believed  in  the  speedy  coming 
of  the  millenium. 

' '  There's  a  show  in  the  church  to-night,  Brother 
Force ;  it's  a  fine  show,  a  panoramic  show ;  mor- 
al and  religious ;  the  showman's  a  good  man ; 
church  member,  I  guess ;  didn't  jist  say  so ;  guess 
he  is ;  think  pretty  certain  he  is ;  his  face  looks  like 


SCATTERLIP.  29! 

it ;  he's  no  juggler ;  he  looks  good,  religious,  moral 
showman ;  most  know  it ;  guess  'twont  hurt  the 
church  ;  do  you  ?  Brother  Murky  opposes  it ;  he 
hates  all  shows,  any  way ;  says  they're  wicked  ; 
devil  in  'em  ;  pollute  the  church ;  worldly ;  sacra- 
lige ;  making  the  Lord's  house  a  den  of  theives ; 
place  for  money  changers. 

' '  The  trustees  agreed  to  let  him  in  in  spite  of 
old  Murkey,  if  he'd  keep  the  organ  out ;  it's  a  hand 
organ  ;  I'm  opposed  to  organs  myself;  we  keep  the 
organ  out ;  it  ought  to  be  kept  out ;  it's  a  very 
worldly  thing  and  oughtn't  to  be  let  in,  by  no  man- 
ner of  means  whatsomever.  It's  your  opinion, 
Brother  Force,  it  ought  to  be  kept  out?  I  know  it 
ought ;  it  would  be  a  bad  day  for  Rose  Chapel,  to 
let  an  organ  in ;  would  be  a  very  dangerous  prece- 
dent, very;  indeed  it  would.  Everybody  wants 
the  show,  but  old  Murky ;  an'  he's  not  so  much  op- 
posed to  it,  when  he  heard  the  organ's  kept  out ; 
it's  all  right  to  keep  it  out;  I  was  agin'  its  goin'  in 
myself;  it  'ud  spile  things;  of  course  it  would. 
First-rate  showman ;  has  best  kind  of  reccommen- 
dations,  from  great  men  and  ministers ;  most  know 
he's  religious,  moral.  And  the  show's  good  for 
children  ;  raises  a  thirst  for  knowledge,  stirs  up  the 
mind,  to  make  it  inquirin' ;  all  the  children  want  it ; 
it'll  please  'em  ;  well,  it'll  be  good  for  'em  ;  the 
young  minds  in  these  parts  needs  stirrin'  ;  yes,  it's 
a  good,  great,  attractive,  splendid  show ;  the  show- 
21 


292  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

man  told  me  so  with  his  own  mouth  ;  he  told  me 
almost  in  so  many  words,  sir,  confidentially ;  most 
know,  certainly,  he's  religious,  sure ;  his  walk  is  so 
soft  and  majestic,  he  looks  like  a  man  that  walked 
by  faith.  He  sent  you  a  free,  gratis  ticket ;  first- 
rate  man,  may  do  good  in  the  church ;  glad  he's  in. 
You'll  go,  Brother  Fore?  By  all  means  go.  The 
showman  was  particular  on  that ;  oh,  you  must  go. 
He's  a  good  man ;  an'  the  show's  principally  scrip- 
ture scenes  and  history ;  good  as  a  sermon ;  the 
showman  told  me  so ;  he  assured  me,  he  pledged 
himself,  and  warranted  his  show  to  be  one  of  the 
most  grand,  elegant  and  elevating  shows  in  this 
country;  I  wouldn't  miss  it ;  you'll  go?  It  encour- 
ages morals  and  religion,  and  ought,  consequently, 
to  be  sustained  by  all  good  men  ;  now,  Brother  Force, 
those  are  almost  the  very  words  of  the  showman 
himself.  We  must  go  early,  it'll  be  crowded;  it 
always  is ;  everybody  goes ;  showman  said  so.  It 
is,  without  a  livin'  doubt,  great,  magic,  grand, 
elevatin',  moral,  religious ;  them's  about  the  show- 
man's own  words.  All  go.  Like  as  any  way,  old 
Murky  will  be  there  himself;  you're  goin'  certain?" 

At  the  end  of  this  harangue,  Philip  rushed  out 
into  the  open  air.  Mrs.  Scatterlip  had  quietly 
withdrawn  into  another  room  before  her  husband 
was  half  through  recommending  the  "great,  moral 
and  religious  show." 

In  the  evening,  Philip,  in  company  with  Scatter- 


SCATTERLIP.  293 

lip,  went  over  to  Rose  Chapel  to  witness  this  "el- 
ervating"  exhibition;  which  proved  to  be  a  display 
of  panoramic  scenes,  and  was  decidedly  "rich, 
rare  and  racy."  The  exhibitor,  Mr.  Cicero  Pufifex, 
was  originally  a  Connecticut  Yankee,  but  had  been 
long  enough  in  the  western  country,  to  have  fixed 
upon  him  many  of  its  habits.  It  was  difficult  for  a 
casual  observer  to  determine,  whether  he  was  really 
an  ignoramus,  or  whether  he  was  purposely  acting 
the  clown,  for  the  amusement  of  his  audience ;  for 
his  whole  performance  was  a  strange  commingling 
of  sense,  nonsense  and  absurdity.  Philip  declares 
that  he  was  never  before,  in  his  life,  so  completely 
overpowered  by  a  sense  of  the  ridiculous.  The 
showman  was  about  six  feet  high,  and  apparently 
about  forty-five  years  old.  His  garments  were  sug- 
gestive of  a  second  hand  clothing  store,  and  his 
voice  had  a  deep  nasal  twang. 


294  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER   XXXIV. 

PROFESSOR    CICERO    PUFFEX's    SHOW. 

As  soon  as  Philip  entered  the  door  of  the  chapel, 
the  showman  whispered  to  the  residents  of  the 
neighborhood,  and  then  came  across  the  seats,  and 
introduced  himself,  and  expressed  great  happiness 
at  meeting  the  minister  on  this  occasion. 

' '  Yes,  Mr.  Fose,  it  affords  me  great  pleasure  to 
meet  you,  sir.  My  name  is  Professor  Puffex.  I'd 
like  to  be  prevailing  on  ye,  Mr.  Fose,  to  cum  forrid 
and  open  the  exercises  with  prayer." 

' '  Thank  you,  Professor ;  as  I  am  not  acquainted 
with  the  nature  of  your  exhibition,  I  would  rather 
be  excused,  sir." 

"Oh,  Mr.  Fose,  it's  highly  moral  and  elevatin'  in 
its  towin.  It's  pretty  metch  scriptorial ;  ye'll  be 
dulighted  with  the  vuze.  It  would  be  gratifien'  on 
me  metch,  to  have  you  pray  at  my  opcnin'." 

"lam  obliged  to  you,  Professor;  I  will  decline 
with  your  leave,  sir." 

Whereupon,  the  Professor  went  to  the  other  end 
of  the  room,  to  commence  the  display  of  his  at- 
tractions. After  repairing  several  little  defects  in 
the  working  of  his  machinery,  and  much  arranging 
and  re-arranging,  and  disarranging  and  arranging 


PROFESSOR  CICERO  PVFFEX. 


PROFESSOR  PUFFEX'S  SHOW.  295 

again,  and  after  Philip  had  endured  numberless 
punches  and  whispers  from  the  ever  restless  Scatter- 
Up,  the  Professor  bowed  to  the  audience,  and  there 
was  great  quiet  (excepting  Scatterlip),  and  the  show 
began. 

' '  This  is  a  Scripter  scene,  and  as  I  be  not  metch 
of  a  Scriptorian,  I'll  ask  the  Reverend  Mr.  Fose 
to  cum  forrid  and  splain  it  to  the  awe-jence." 

Philip  arose  and  declined  the  honor. 

"Well,  we'll  do  the  best  we  kin  undaw  the  suc- 
kamstances.  I  thought  I'd  be  tellin'  on  it  before  you 
feound  it  eout,  that  I  be  not  vust  in  Scripter  lore. 

"This  vu  you  may  take  to  be  the  Carding  of  Eding 
bcamin'  with  buty,  pleasure  and  glory.  That  persin 
leaning  agin'  a  tree  there  (the  Professor  pointed  out 
the  figures  with  a  long  hazel  switch),  I  take  him  to 
be  Addim,  as  I  don't  see  any  other  man  abeout. 
That  womin  ye  see  reclinin'  on  a  soff  pile  o'  moss, 
that's  Eve,  to  the  best  of  my  knowledge  and  belief. 
That's  a  river,  and  them  be  wile  beasts  of  prey  on 
the  other  side.  It  seems  to  be  spring  or  summer, 
for  the  grass  is  growin'  and  the  flowers  bloomin'. 
That  apple-tree  loaded  with  fruit — I  guess  to  be  pip- 
pins, as  they're  the  best  apples  there  is.  There  be 
no  flies  nor  muskeeters  ;  them  come  since  Eding 
was  shet  ep.  There  be  no  serpents  ;  the  devil  sent 
in  the  fust  one,  and  it  abeout  ruined  the  happy 
family,  and  gave  to  their  children  a  hatred  to 
snakes. 


296  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"Now,  boy,  ye  may  move  on  a-nuther  picter.  I've 
not  a  mite  o'  deoubt  you'd  all  like  to  look  at  that 
picter  all  night,  but  things  of  buty  pass  witheout 
lastin'  long. 

' '  Now,  if  you  know  what  this  picter  means,  ye 
have  right  smart  o'  knowledge.  That  man  there, 
with  wings,  and  a  long-tailed  coat  of  gauzy  folds, 
and  an  ox's  tail  into  his  hand,  that  I  think  to  be  an 
angel.  Ye  can't  see  his  face,  for  he's  looking  at 
our  foreparents,  and  has  his  back  to  ye.  He  'pears 
to  be  drivin'  on  'em  out  somewheres  over  the  fence. 
Ye  can't  see  the  fence,  but  I  s'pose  there's  a  very  high 
one  somewheres  abeout,  or  they'd  run  back  hum. 
Eve  'pears  to  be  crying.  Addim  looks  mad,  mad 
as  thundaw ;  guess  he'd  like  to  whip  the  devil' 
neow.  The  awtist,  you  will  all  pussieve,  has  Sattin 
behind  that  sycamore  tree  grinnin'  after  'em,  with 
the  thumb  on-tew  his  nose.  That's  the  way,  frens, 
Sattin  gits  ye  to  do  wrong,  and  then  laughs  at  ye 
for  being  a  fooL 

"  Boy,  you  may  push  that  picter  off,  I  don't  like 
to  behold  it. 

"There,  the  picter  before  you  is  the  flood,  some- 
times called  the  deluge,  sometimes  Noer's  flood,  and 
some  classic  authors  call  it  the  antiluvian  flood.  It's 
the  greatest  flood  that  ever  wuz  or  ever  will  be.  I 
b'lieve  it  tuck  forty  months  to  be  gettin'  oh  it  up. 
I  am  not  metch  vust  in  riggers  and  dates ;  if  I  be 
makin'  any  mistakes,  Reverend  Mr.  Fose  will  please 


PROFESSOR  PUFFEX'S  SHOW.  297 

set  me  straight.  The  object  there  that  looks  like 
half  boat  and  half  steam-mill,  that's  said  to  be  the 
aivk.  It's  three  stories  high.  Noer  is  the  captin. 
That's  him  with  a  long  beard  and  a  Quaker  hat, 
looking  eout  of  the  upper  winder,  to  see  if  the  ole 
thing's  goin'  agin  a  tree.  His  three  sons  take  turns 
in  steerin'.  I  furget  their  names,  and  you'd  furget 
'em  too,  for  they're  very  oncommon.  The  heads 
ye  see  snorting  in  the  briny  deep,  them's  hosses' 
heads.  They're  swimmin'  for  life,  but  I  deon't 
think  they'll  get  any.  Them  folks  ye  see  climin' 
a  meountin — I  don't  know  who  they  be.  The 
water  is  half  way  up  that  tree  now,  and  if  it  keeps 
on  raining — and  it  expects  tew — it'll  be  over  the 
tops  in  less'n  a  month  more.  Them  slantin'  lines 
be  rain,  and  ye  see  it's  coming  thick  and  fast.  I 
can't  tell  who  that  may  be  in  a  curnew  tryin'  to 
ketch  ep  with  the  awk,  but  he  won't  win ;  and  if  he 
did  ketch  ep,  I  don't  think  Noer  stopt  for  passen- 
gers. If  I  make  any  mistake,  the  Reverend  Mr. 
Fose  will  be  so  good  as  to  correck  me ;  for,  as  the 
Scripter  sez,  'to  err  is  human,  to  forgive  is  divine.' 

"  Boy,  you  may  push  ep  a-nuther  picter.  I  never 
like  to  look  at  floods  since  I  swum  the  Connecticut 
River,  with  a  three-hoss  peddling  wagin  full  o'  tin. 
I  tell  ye,  I  could  pity  Noer  then.  Them  boys  in 
the  awe-jence  mustn't  whistle  and  laugh  ;  this  is  no 
theatre,  but  a  great  moral  and  religious  show. 

"  Come,  boy,  anything  wrong  with  them  fixin's" 


298  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

Ah,  here  she  comes !  That  looks  like  the  big  fire  I 
saw  when  I  wuz  a  boy  in  Bosting.  But  this  place  is 
not  Bosting;  it's  a-nuther  teown  pretty  near  as 
bad,  called  Sodim.  Ye  see  it  blazin'  in  the  dis- 
tance. The  blaze  runs  down,  that's  because  it  cum 
from  above.  The  clouds  yer  see's  yeller;  that's 
because  they're  brimstun.  Ye  see  a  streak  of 
lightning  shootin'  threw  them  clouds;  that's  what 
set  the  whole  thing  on  fire.  That  man  running 
there,  that's  Mr.  Lot ;  and  them  two  wimmen  with 
him,  's  his  girls.  Mr.  Lot  is  hatless,  that's  because 
it  blew  off  into  the  blaze.  The  woman  ye  see 
standin',  is  Mrs.  Lot.  She  looked  back,  which  wuz 
the  means  of  turnin'  her  into  a  piller  of  salt,  with 
her  clothes  burnt  off  of  her  entirely.  She'd  abeout 
as  well  stayed  in  Sodim.  Lot  had  sold  his  farm 
(that's  my  vu)  a  few  years  before,  and  gone  into 
Sodim  to  speculate  in  teown  property,  and  educate 
his  daughters.  He'd  better,  a  great  sight,  stayed  in 
the  country.  Sodim  wuz  a  very  bad  place,  and  had 
to  be  burnt  up  to  keep  its  badness  from  spreading. 
Salt  Lake  is  the  place  where  Sodim  wuz.  The  Mor- 
mons live  there  now ;  and  from  all  accounts  of  the 
wickedness  of  them  Mormons,  I  wouldn't  be  a  mite 
supprised  if  there'd  be  a-nuther  fire  there  before  the 
millennium.  I  have  no  idee  the  millennium  kin 
cum  with  the  Mormons  into  it.  I  lost  a  hundred 
dollars  by  the  old  Kirtland  Bank  in  Ohio.  I'm 
'posed  to  Mormons.  They're  the  descenders  of  some 


PROFESSOR  PUFFEX'S  SHOW.  299 

Sodimites  that  wuz  off  visiting  when  the  city  wuz 
conflagrated.  The  Book  of  Mormon  is  Sodim 
Scripter,  revised  by  Jo  Smith.  These  be  my.  pri- 
vate vuze,  after  metch  study  and  work  in  clarviance 
and  spiritualism. 

"Let's  hev  a-nuther  picter,  boy! 

' '  Ah  !  you  may  well  say  that's  a  splendid  picter, 
very.  It's  the  fust  peerrymid  that  wuz  ever  built, 
and  is  called  the  Tower  of  Babylon  ;  and  it  is  said  to 
be  built  by  Nimrod,  who  wuz  a  mighty  huntah  of 
wile  beese  of  prey,  and  wuz  one  of  the  ancestors  of 
Daniel  Boone.  He  intended  to  make  that  peerry- 
mid fire  and  water-proof,  but  he  woke  up  one  morn- 
ing and  feound  all  his  han's  deaf  and  dumb.  After 
that  the  ole  concern  wuz  used  for  a  deaf  and  dumb 
hosspittle.  It  wuz  the  fust  hosspittle  of  the  kind 
ever  used,  for  no  one  wuz  deaf  and  dumb  before 
that  age.  Some  got  over  their  deafness,  but  hed  to 
lern  another  languidge  after  that  tryin'  time.  And 
that  was  the  start  of  Dutch'and  Irish,  and  all  other 
furrin  languidges  but  our  own,  which  is  the  bible 
languidge.  And  that's  what  makes  the  Dutch  and 
Irish  such  good  hod-carriers — they  begun  on  that 
tower.  That's  a  vu  of  mine,  that  last  remark. 

"  Let's  hev  another,  picter,  boy !  Come,  be 
shoving  on  it  up  ! 

"Now,  all  intelligent  folks  will  agree  with  me 
that  that  is  a  superb  picter.  That's  Moziz  being 
picked  eout  of  the  River  Ganges.  I'm  not  just  cer- 


3oo  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

tain  'bout  the  name  of  the  river,  but  it's  some  big 
river,  at  any  rate,  none  of  us  ever  seen.  That  in- 
fant 'pears  to  be  just  kicking  the  top  off  of  his  wilier 
cradle,  which  wuz  made  to  go  by  land  and  water. 
That's  a  negro  wadin'  eout  to  ketch  him.  The 
young  one  seems  wild  and  'feerd  of  niggers.  That 
merlattah  female,  with  a  creown  ontew  her  head,  is 
said  to  be  Pharoe's  daughter,  king  of  Egypt.  She 
raised  Moziz  by  hand,  and  sent  him  to  skewl  till  he 
graduated,  when  he,  I  think,  run  off  from  her  be- 
cause she  wanted  him  to  be  naturalized  and  take  the 
oath.  That  beautiful  house  yender  is  where 
Moziz's  female  parent  lived  for  a  summer  residence, 
I  suppose.  Them  things  swimmin'  I  take  to  be 
ducks.  That  large  bird  upon  a  tree,  you  may  take 
to  be  an  anna-condor,  which  populates  the  banks  of 
the  Ganges.  Alligators  is  the  principal  inhabitants 
of  this  river,  which  is  said  to  be  fifteen  thousand 
miles  long,  more  or  less.  Some  astronomers  say  it 
takes  its  risin'  in  the  Meountins  of  the  Mewn,  but 
I  am  too  old  to  be  fooled  by  enny  setch  stuff  as 
that.  I  never  could  believe  in  planting  potatoes 
and  redishes  in  the  mewn,  much  less  a  river  headin' 
on  it  up  in  the  mewn. 

"  We'll  take  another  picter,  boy  ! 

"  That's  a  historical  scene.  That's  a  wolf.  That's 
Romulus  and  Rebus  sucking  the  wolf.  They  wuz 
the  discoverers  of  Rome,  and  built  the  city  of  Rome. 
By  looking  you  will  see  Romulus  is  the  biggest,  and 


PROFESSOR   PUFFEX'S  SHOW.  301 

when  he  wuz  greown  he  wuz  boss,  and  wuz  the 
strongest,  and  killed  Rebus  because  he  made  fun  of 
his  city.  When  he  wuz  a-givin'  him  the  last  blow 
he,  fust  of  all,  used  the  memorable  sentence, 
'  When  ye  be  in  Rome,  ye  must  do  as  Rome  does  !' 
He  founded  the  Roman  Catholics,  and  wuz  the  fust 
pope,  and  that  accounts  for  the  fearful  fack  that  the 
Catholics  is  so  wolfish  when  they  gets  the  power. 
Ye  see,  Romulus  sucked  the  wolf  intew  him  from 
his  ma's  breast.  The  child  is  more  like  the  one 
that  raises  it  than  like  the  one  that  has  it  fust. 

"  Shove  us  up  a-nuther  picter,  boy  ! 

"Here  you  have  a  most  sublime  picter,  very. 
That's  "the  destruction  of  the  cities  Herculem  and 
Pompous  by  the  bustin'  of  the  meountin  of  Vesu- 
vius. The  centre  of  the  uth,  I  guess  to  be  all  fire, 
and  Vesuvius  is  one  of  the  chimneys  to  let  off  the 
smoke.  It  got  choked  up  for  many  years,  and  the 
folks  thought  the  fire  had  died  eout,  and  these  tew 
cities  wuz  built  at  the  foot  of  that  meountin.  And 
one  time,  when  they  wuz  holding  the  State  Fair 
there,  and  two  circuses  and  a  perlitical  meeting,  the 
top  blowed  off  the  meountin,  and  the  liquid  fire 
belched  forth  from  its  blazin'  meouth,  and  rolled 
down  its  lofty  summit,  and  covered  its  millions  un- 
der the  clods  of  the  valley  without  grubbin'-hoe  or 
pick-ax.  That  wuz  a  dreadful  time,  to  be  sure ; 
but  it  wuz  wuss  felt  than  told. 

"  Boy,  you  may  shove  up  a-nuther  scene! 


3O2  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"Now,  here  you  have  it!  That's  David  killin' 
Collier.  Collier  wuz  a  giant,  seventeen  foot  high, 
ancient  measure.  David  wuzzent  bigger  to  him 
than  Tom  Thumb  to  a  common  man.  David  hit 
him  in  the  forrid  with  a  slung-shot ;  and  as  Collier 
had  the  big  head,  he  wuz  stunned  and  keeled  up 
quick.  Them  you  see  in  the  distance  is  Collier's 
folks.  That  job  made  David  king.  That  little 
feller,  I  take  to  be  David.  That's  Collier  there; 
he  looks  like  a  hoss  standin'  ontew  his  hine  legs. 
His  hat  looks  like  a  two-story  cooking  stove,  and 
the  spear  in  his  hand  looks  like  a  liberty  pole.  He 
'pears  to  be  hollerin'  at  David,  and  his  meouth  is 
like  an  open  carpet-sack,  and  his  nose  like  untew  a 
big,  red  beet ;  guess  he  drunk  brandy,  gin  and 
wine.  Wouldn't  be  a  mite  serprised  if  he  wuz 
tight  when  David  slew  him.  That  comes  of  liquor, 
young  men ;  it's  killed  more  people  than  Collier. 
Beware  of  slings  and  being  slewed;  beware  of  the 
bottle,  or  any  other  instrument  that  would  convey 
it  intew  you. 

"Shove  up  a-nuther  picter!  Come,  be  a-hurryin' 
on  it  up.  The  intellectual  awe-jence  is  requested 
not  to  spit  tobaccer  juice  ontew  this  floor,  as  this  is 
a  sacred  eddifus,  and  should  be  kept  clean. 

"  That's  Samsin  tipping  over  the  house  where  the 
Philistines  had  him  for  a  show.  Samsin  wuz  as 
stout  as  a  elephant.  One  day  he  went  eout 
a-courtin',  and  some  Philister  set  his  lion  ontew  him 


PROFESSOR   PUFFEX'S  SHOW.  303 

(they  used  lions  in  place  of  dogs),  and  Samsin  grab- 
bed him  by  the  two  jaws  and  split  him  wide  open, 
and  flung  him  intew  an  orchard,  and  went  on  to  his 
sweetheart.  Samsin  wuz  a  powerful  man,  and  the 
wimmin  all  fell  in  love  with  him  and  spilt  him.  He 
had  abeout  a  dozen  sweethearts  at  once,  and  that's 
enough  to  make  a  fewl  of  any  man.  Miss  Delilar 
wuz  the  one  that  ruined  him.  Ye  see,  his  hair's 
shaved  all  off.  Delilar  done  it  to  git  the  peower 
eout  of  him.  His  hair  guv  him  his  peower.  She 
made  him  go  to  sleep  in  her  lap,  and  then  shaved 
him.  The  Philesters  paid  her  lots  of  money  for  it. 
Samsin  wuz  the  fust  pris'ner  that  wuz  shaved  ;  hence 
they  shave  pris'ners  now  when  they  put  'em  intew 
the  penitentiary.  That  animal  standing  close  to 
Samsin,  I  take  to  be  a  donkey.  The  Philister  put 
him  by  the  side  of  this  brute  for  sarcasm.  Ye  see, 
he  rode  his  jackass  intew  a  crowd  of  'em  once,  and 
he  bit  and  chawed  and  tramped  abeout  a  thou- 
sand of  'em  to  death.  He  wuz  a  powerful  brewt, 
and  when  they  tuck  Samsin  they  tuck  his  jackass 
tew,  and  put  'em  together  on  a  tread-miil,  and  then 
brought  'em  both  eout  to  this  building  for  a  show. 
And  when  the  awe-jence  got  all  in,  his  peower  come 
back  tew  him,  and  he  upset  the  buildin'  and  wuz 
the  means  thereby  of  killing  on  'em  every  one,  and 
himself  tew. 

"  I  would  warn  all  young  men  in  this  awe-jence 


304  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

to  be  careful  'bout  wimmin ;  they've  been  the  ruin 
of  more  folks  than  Samsin. 

"Take  that  picter  away,  boy,  and  give  us  the 
Landin'  of  the  Pilgrims  at  Plymouth  Rock. 

"Ah,  here  ye  have  it!  This  wuz  the  greatest 
landiri  that  ever  wuz  or  ever  will  be.  Noer's  landin' 
wuzzent  greater.  Behold,  a  greater  than  Noer's 
folks  wuz  these  Pilgrims.  They  wuz  the  direct  de- 
scenders of  the  Apostles,  except  Judas.  Noer  got 
drunk;  never  did  a  Plymouth  Rocker  do  such  a 
thing.  I  know  all  abeout  'em,  for  I'm  principally 
descended  from  'em  myself.  In  genius,  lernin', 
wit,  and  art  and  science,  they  stand  unsurpassed 
and  unsurpassable.  They  wuz  the  feounders  of  the 
American  eagle,  that  decorates  the  splendid  folds 
of  our  sublime  flag.  They  wuz  the  feounders  of 
steam-engines,  pine-sticks  and  jack-knives.  They 
wuz  the  feounders  of  railroads  and  telegraphs, 
matches,  Graham  bread  and  the  water  cure.  They 
wuz  the  feounders  of  the  compass,  Gunter's  chain, 
shoe-pegs,  gutty-perchy,  and  female  lecturers.  (O  ! 
that  I  wuz  a  Plymouth  female,  I'd  want  no  better 
fortune.)  They  wuz  the  feounders  of  the  printing 
press,  lightning-rods,  tinware,  meerschaum  pipes, 
and  Doggerytypes.  They  wuz  the  feounders  of  the 
gal-lorious  Declaration  of  Independence,  our  com- 
mojus  Constitution,  and  the  serblime  by-laws  of  all 
the  States.  They  wuz  the  feounders  of  all  our 
poetry,  from  Shakespeare  to  the  camp-meetin' 


PROFESSOR  PUFFEX'S  SHOW.  305 

hymn  book ;  and  of  note  books  for  singin'  on  'em  ; 
and  of  more  musical  instruments  for  playin'  on  'em 
than  Beltshazzar  had  when  he  played  the  three  He- 
brew children  intew  his  burnin'  brick-kiln.  They 
feounded  shinplasters,  to  be  as  precious  as  gold  for 
the  time  bein',  but  bein'  soft  they  didn't  last  as  long. 
They  feounded  paintin'  and  sculpter,  wax  figgers 
and  trav'lin'  shows,  and  shows  as  you  behold  mine. 
They  wuz  the  feounders  of  the  telescope,  and 
comets  and  the  solar  system,  cork-legs  and  baby- 
jumpers,  and  other  instruments  of  comfort  and 
convenience  too  teejus  to  mention.  They  feounded 
the  auger  that  bored  intew  the  Plymouth  Rock  and 
feound  the  date,  away  deown  intew  the  middle  on 
it,  which  proves  the  world  to  be  ninety  thousand 
years  old  when  Addim  wuz  an  infant.  They  call 
that  auger  ' 'Geology,'  which  is  a  Greek  word,  and 
the  meanin'  on  it  is  anger.  They  wuz  the  feounders 
of  gas  lights,  laughin'  gas,  and  and  all  other  gas. 
They  wuz  the  feounders  of  Thanksgivin'  turkeys 
and  wind-mills,  pumpkin  pies  and  reapers,  corn- 
starch  puddin'  and  codfish.  They  wuz  the  feounders 
of  phrenology,  mesmerism,  clarvoyance,  spir- 
itualism, and  free  love,  and  all  other  elevatin' 
sciences.  They  wuz  the  feounders  of  religion 
in  this  country.  Ye  may  take  no  religion  to 
be  wuth  a  hill  o'  beans  without  the  stamp  of  the 
Mayflower  onto  it,  or  the  fac-simile  of  a  Plymouth 
Rocker  recommendin'  on  it.  All  others  ye  may  be 
22 


306  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

considerin'  spewerous  and  counterfeit.  Beware  on 
'em  as  ye  would  deadly  pizens.  Send  to  Plymouth 
Church,  Brooklyn,  New  York,  if  ye  want  the  ginni- 
wine  article.  Henry  Ward  Beecher  is  the  superin- 
tender  of  the  institution,  and  what  he  declares  to  be 
right,  is  right,  sure ;  and  he'll  take  a  pleasure  in 
informm'  ye.  Inclose  something  for  return  pos- 
tage. He's  a  regular  descender  of  the  captin  of  the 
Mayflower,  and  is  setch  a  heavenly  human  that  he 
has  tew  keep  a  chunk  of  the  Plymouth  Rock  in  each 
pocket,  perpetually,  to  hold  him  deown  to  this 
earthly  sphere.  He  is  a  fisher  of  trout,  a  runner  of 
fast  hosses,  a  pilgrim  to  Europe  or  the  meountins, 
when  it's  hot ;  a  hunter  of  hens'  nests  and  flowers ; 
a  builder  of  houses  and  elm  trees ;  a  farmer  in  a 
covered  buggy ;  a  eater  of  pumpkin  pies ;  a  writer 
for  the  newspapers ;  and  he  carries  on  a  preaching 
business  wuth  ten  thousand  a  year.  I  tell  ye,  Solo- 
mon in  all  his  glory  was  not  arrayed  like  this 
Pilgrim  Beecher.  And  well  he  may  be,  for  he's  a 
brick ;  not  exactly  a  brick,  but,  as  it  were,  a  chunk 
of  Plymouth  Rock  itself. 

"Ladies  and  gentlemen,  friends  and  fellow- 
citizens,  this  moril  and  religious  exibition  is  neow 
endid  for  the  evenin'.  I'd  ask  you  all  to  celebrate 
its  merits  where'er  ye  rove.  My  next  showin' 
place  is  at  Gilfrister's  Mill,  next  Monday  night, 
at  early  candle  light.  And  I  would  say,  further, 
I'm  spectin'  some  new  superior  scenes  some  few 


PROFESSOR  PUFFEX'S  SHOW.  307 

days  hence.     I  thank  ye  for  yer  patternidge  and 
attention.     You'll  consider  yerselves  dismissed." 

The  above  is  an  imperfect  record  of  the  promi- 
nent characteristics  of  this  remarkable  show.  Philip 
thinks  that  the  show  did  not  "elevate'1  his  mind 
to  a  very  high  degree.  In  fact,  he  says  there  was 
so  much  of  the  blundering,  ridiculous,  solemn  farce 
about  it  that  he  was  sore  from  laughing  over  it. 


3o8  THE  Two   CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER  XXXV. 

BOB  SCATES  AND  PHILIP. 

The  next  day,  while  Philip  was  preaching  at  Rose 
Chapel,  he  observed  Robert  Scates  in  the  audience, 
paying  attention  to  his  remarks.  Yet  Robert  was 
nervous  and  ill  at  ease ;  he  was  in  one  of  those 
restless  moods,  seen  in  the  thoughtless  and  giddy, 
when  they  make  an  effort  to  tame  down  to  reflec- 
tion and  seriousness.  On  account  of  past  events, 
Robert  filled  a  larger  space  in  Philip's  mind,  than 
all  the  congregation  besides.  Philip  knew  that  duty 
required  him  to  give  himself  more  concern  for  the 
mass  of  his  hearers,  and  not  allow  this  single  indi- 
vidual to  fill  his  thoughts  almost  entirely.  He 
strove  to  shake  Robert  off,  and  make  himself  be- 
lieve that  he  was  no  more  to  him  than  any  other 
stranger ;  but  a  glimpse  of  his  uneasy  face  would 
bring  more  of  Robert  into  him  than  before  the 
shaking  off  process. 

When  the  congregation  was  dismissed,  Philip  de- 
termined to  devote  his  attentions  to  his  new  parish- 
ioners, and  let  Bob  take  care  of  himself.  Even  the 
interminable  Scatterlip  had  admonished  Philip  that, 
"  Hob  was  a  fast  youth,"  "a  hard  nut,"  and  "a 
general  cuss  in  the  neighborhood."  Philip's  mental 


BOB   SCATES   AND    PHILIP.  309 

reservoir  had  been  running  over  with  Scatterlip's  re- 
marks for  some  hours,  hence  he  readily  accepted  the 
invitation  of  Mr.  Marks  to  go  with  him  for  dinner. 

Mr.  Marks  was  Robert's  uncle,  and  with  his  fam- 
ily, occupied  a  two-horse  wagon,  and  Philip  followed 
him  on  the  little  filly.  Young  Scates  was  observed 
several  rods  in  front,  also  on  horseback  and  alone. 
Two  or  three  small  crowds  of  buoyant,  boisterous 
men  and  boys  on  mettlesome  colts,  swept  up  to 
Scates,  in  high  glee,  at  different,  times,  as  if  they 
were  accustomed  to  have  him  take  an  active  part  in 
all  their  hilarity  and  mirth.  For  some  reason  Rob- 
ert did  not  seem  to  harmonize  with  them,  at  this 
time. 

"Coin'  to  a  funeral,  Bob?"  "Bin  converted, 
Old  Brick?"  and  numerous  similar  expressions 
were  overheard  by  Philip,  as  addressed  by  the  rol- 
licking youths  to  Robert. 

"Let  him  alone,  boys,  he's  hatchin'  some  devil- 
ment, you  can  bet  your  bottom  dollar  on  that." 

At  this  statement,  or  order,  from  one  of  the  lead- 
ers of  the  roystering  troop,  they  all  rode  off,  as 
fast  as  their  horses  could  carry  them.  Robert  grad- 
ually slackened  his  pace,  till  he  was  by  the  side  of 
his  uncle  Mark's  wagon,  making  and  hearing  just 
such  suggestions  and  reflections  about  the  weather, 
crops,  health,  and  so  on,  as  pass  between  millions 
of  people  every  day,  and  serve  as  a  preface  to  get 
the  mind  down  to  business.  But  Robert  had  his 


310  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

mind  on  Philip,  and  Philip  felt  it,  before  he  was 
within  a  rod  of  him.  There  was  a  kind  of  magnet- 
ism drawing  them  toward  each  other,  and  side  by 
side  they  soon  came.  Philip  could  not  help  saying 
he  was  glad  to  see  Scates,  and  Scates  evidently 
wanted  to  see  Philip,  but  his  gladness  was  disturbed 
by  embarrassment.  In  fact  he  seemed  bothered, 
and  wondered  what  he  was  there  for,  and  looked  as 
if  he  wanted,  incontinently,  to  run  away.  But  he 
rallied,  and  ventured  a  remark  or  two  about  the 
weather,  and  talked  of  other  common-places  wrong 
end  foremost,  and  had  the  crops  mingled  at  odds 
and  ends,  and  thrashed  his  legs  with  his  switch, 
and  adjusted  his  shirt  collar,  and  stroked  his  horse's 
mane,  and  hitched  about  in  his  saddle,  and  the  idea 
seemed  to  be  growing  on  him,  that  he  was  making 
a  silly  display  of  himself.  Philip  did  his  utmost  to 
make  him  feel  easy,  but  uneasiness,  like  some  dis- 
eases, is  contagious,  so  it  was  not  long  before  Philip 
was  well  nigh  as  far  gone  in  the  region  of  silliness, 
as  Robert.  Why  is  it,  a  man  cannot  come  out  at 
once,  and  say  what*  he  wants  to  ?  Why  is  he  fear- 
ful of  other  people,  when  he  knows  they  have  for 
him  the  friendliest  feelings  ?  It  cannot  be  coward- 
ice ;  for  a  known  enemy  would  make  him  bold  and 
decided.  Even  a  child  fears'  to  open  its  delicate 
sensibilities  to  the  parent,  whom  it  knows  to  be  its 
friend.  Thus  the  time  passed  between  these  two 
in  random,  useless  talk.  Yet  these  desultory,  small 


BOB    SCATES    AND    PHILIP.  311 

talks  may  be  the  means  of  blowing  away  the  vapors 
that  the  light  may  come  in. 

Reaching  the  house  of  Mr.  Marks  and  dismount- 
ing, Philip  and  Scates  walked  side  by  side  toward 
the  stable.  Scates  was  trying  to  drive  himself  into 
a  state  of  readiness,  to  make  some  communication, 
which  he  still  held  in  reserve.  About  the  time  he 
had  worked  the  important  message  up  to  his  lips, 
the  little  filly  suddenly  threw  her  heels,  with  im- 
mense vigor,  against  the  ribs  of  Scates'  horse,  and 
the  two  animals  keeping  up  their  combative  temper, 
caused  the  owners  to  walk  some  distance  apart ; 
and  who  was  ever  known  to  speak  confidentially  to 
any  one,  when  a  rod  or  more  away  from  him.  How- 
ever, before  they  had  returned  to  the  house,  it  was 
agreed,  that  after  dinner,  they  would  walk  to  the 
woods,  where  they  could  be  alone. 

Seated  upon  a  log,  down  among  the  old,  brown 
trees,  and  the  Indian  summer  sun  shining  around 
them,  Robert  began  to  reveal  himself. 

' '  Mr.  Force,  I  came  over  here  on  purpose  to 
consult  you  a  little  ;  "  and  he  hesitated  as  if  trying 
to  bring  his  thoughts  into  shape ;  and  Philip,  as  if 
to  relieve  him,  remarked : 

' '  Here  is  a  good  place  for  a  quiet  rest ;  I  am  at 
your  service,  Mr.  Scates,  with  pleasure." 

Robert,  beating  his  legs  with  a  switch,  and  brac- 
ing himself,  resumed: 

"You  saw  that  fracas,  in  the  lane,  Mr.  Force?" 


312  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

and  Robert  looked  Philip  in  the  face,  as  if  to  see 
whether  he  was  in  sufficient  sympathy  with  him,  so 
he  could  venture  his  case  into  his  confidence. 

"Yes,  sir,"  said  Philip,  without  further  com- 
ments or  opinions ;  but  his  manner,  or  the  expres- 
sion of  his  countenance,  was  assuring  to  Robert. 

"And  you,"  said  Bob,  "saw  how  things  were 
at  Blunt's  house,  the  night  he  was  hurt?" 

"  Yes,  sir;  I  remember  very  well,"  said  Philip. 

"Now,  Mr.  Force,  after  what  you've  seen,  what 
do  you  think  of  matters  between  Sue  and  me?" 

Robert's  nerves  quivered,  as  he  thought  how 
suddenly  he  had  jumped  into  the  merits  of  his  sub- 
ject. 

' '  I  think  you  and  Sue  will  be  married  some  day, 
if  you  both  live ;  there  is  no  mistaking  her  regard 
for  you ;  but  she  has  promised  her  father,  not  to 
marry  you  till  he  consents  to  it.  And  you  know 
the  old  gentleman  has  put  you  on  six  months'  pro- 
bation, so  it  remains  with  you  to  determine  how  he 
shall  regard  you  at  the  end  of  that  time." 

"Well,  now,  it's  to  that  point  I  want  to  strike  a 
little.  Old  Mr.  Blunt  has  a  good  deal  of  sense, 
and  religion,  and  contrariness,  and  prejudice,  and 
cleverness  sort  o'  mixed  up  together.  He  never 
did  like  me  and  my  ways.  And  I  don't  much 
blame  him,  for  my  ways  haven't  been  of  a  kind  for 
many  folks  to  like.  But  I  never  drank  whisky,  as 
Blunt  thinks  I  have.  I've  fooled  around  with 


BOB    SCATES    AND    PHILIP.  313 

them  that  did  drink,  and  I've  let  on  as  if  I  was 
drunk,  just  for  mischief;  but  I  never  liked  liquor. 
I  could  quit  the  liquor  easy  enough ;  that's  not  it ; 
it's  this  crowd  I'm  with,  that  bothers  me.  Good 
and  steady  people  are  shy  of  me.  And  these 
youngsters,  I've  growed  up  with  here,  they'll  give 
me  thunder,  if  I  don't  go  full-breasted  with  'em,  in 
all  kinds  of  nonsense.  They  were  taunting  me  to- 
day, because  I  wouldn't  rip  and  stave  'round  with 
'em.  I  was  trying  to  work  myself  up  to  have  this 
talk  with  you,  as  you  know  something  of  how 
things  stand  with  me.  I  don't  blame  Mr.  Blunt 
much,  for,  come  to  think,  I  guess  I'm  not  a  fit  pro- 
tector and  provider  for  Sue.  She's  good  enough 
for  anybody,  and  I'm  about  as  little  account  as  any- 
body. You  think  there  is  some  chance  of  my  be- 
ing some  account,  do  you  ?  Much  obliged  to  you, 
indeed,  sir ;  that  encourages  me  some.  But  then, 
this  idea  comes  up :  if  I  break  in  now  and  try  to  be 
somebody,  people  will  say,  I'm  doing  it  just  to  get 
Sue,  and  it  looks  a  little  like  it." 

Here  he  halted  as  if  to  see  how  Philip  was  im- 
pressed, and  made  a  variety  of  uneasy  movements. 

"Every  one,"  said  Philip,  "is  led  into  doing 
right,  more  or  less  by  others ;  and  why  should  not 
Sue  exercise  that  power  over  you  ?  " 

"  But  if  I  was  to  do  right,"  said  Bob,  "just  to 
get  possession  of  Sue,  wouldn't  I  be  likely,  if  I  won 
her,  to  go  back  and  be  as  big  a  fool  as  ever  ?  A 


314  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

great  as  Sue  is  to  me,  it  still  seems  I  ought  to  have 
a  higher  motive  to  do  the  right  thing." 

' '  I  think  you  take  the  right  view  of  it.  But  per- 
sons may  honestly  yield  to  a  lower  motive  that 
tends  to  shape  their  hearts  and  lives  aright,  and  af- 
terwards come  to  be  led  by  a  higher.  Is  it  not  the 
main  thing,  after  all,  to  cease  to  do  evil,  and  learn 
to  do  well,  and  persevering  in  that  direction,  ask 
the  higher  power  for  the  purest  and  loftiest  mo- 
tive?" 

' '  Well,  what  ought  I  to  do  first ;  where  ought  ^ 
to  begin?" 

' '  Begin  on  the  very  first  event,  or  undertaking, 
or  temper,  however  trivial  it  may  appear,  where  the 
question  of  right  and  wrong  arises.  The  main  thing 
is,  a  fixed  determination  to  decide  against  the  wrong 
and  for  the  right,  every  time,  cost  what  it  will ;  and 
a  constant  habit  of  asking  the  Divine  help  to  enable 
us  to  do  it." 

"  S'pose  I  hardly  know  which  is  right ;  what  one 
calls  right  another  calls  wrong,  and  both  are  good 
people,  who's  to  judge  then  ?  " 

"Judge  for  yourself,"  said  Philip.  "  After  you 
get  beyond  the  plain  commandments,  which  nearly 
everybody  admits,  what  might  be  right  for  one  to 
do,  might  be  wrong  for  another.  But,  there  is  so 
much  we  can  say  and  do  in  this  world,  about  which 
there  is  but  little  question  as  to  its  being  right  or 
wrong,  that  it  is  rather  a  waste  of  time  to  stop  and 


BOB    SCATES   AND    PllILIP.  315 

parley  and  debate  over  these  things  about  which 
there  is  a  dispute.  When  a  word  or  act  is  of  doubt- 
ful purity  or  goodness,  it  is  certainly  safe  to  keep 
away  from  it.  After  all,  the  most  important  thing 
is  to  cultivate  a  constant,  growing  liking  for  the 
right,  and  an  aversion  to  the  wrong. " 

"Well,  Mr.  Force,  I  don't  wish  to  make  myself 
tiresome  to  you;"  and  Robert  came  to  his  feet  as 
if  disposed  to  close  the  interview. 

"  No,  sir,  don't  think  of  such  a  thing;  set  down, 
Mr.  Scates.  This  suits  me.  Your  case  interests 
me,  more  and  more.  I  shall  take  great  pleasure 
in  being  of  any  service  to  you." 

"Thank  you,  sir;  thank  you.  I  need  some 
body  to  show  me  the  right  road.  I've  been  fooling 
around  so  much,  that  I  hardly  know  the  right  road 
when  I  see  it.  It's  going  to  take  some  pluck  for 
me  to  get  'round  on  the  right  track.  You  see,  I'm 
sort  o'  tied  in  with  the  wrong  crowd.  I  am  growed 
in  among  'em,  like  a  tree  in  a  thick  grove ;  you  see, 
it  has  to  bend  with  the  other  trees,  or  get  thrashed 
like  fury.  It  seems  to  me,  I'll  have  to  be  dug  up 
and  planted  somewhere  else  ;  and  that's  one  of  the 
things  I  want  to  see  you  about.  I've  heard  of  the 
Seminary,  down  in  Doubletown,  and  I've  sometimes 
thought  I  might  get  in  there  and  learn  something 
that  would  help  me  to  shape  up  right.  My  father's 
been  trying  to  get  me  to  go  there  for  more'n  a 
year ;  but  I  never  harbored  the  idea  much,  till  the 


316  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

last  few  days.  What  do  you  think  about  my  chance 
of  getting  in  there  ?  and  would  it  be  of  any  use  to 
me?" 

"  By  all  means,  go;  it  will  be  of  use  to  you  in 
every  way,  all  through  life.  And  allow  me  to  sug- 
gest, as  you  have  made  free  to  speak  of  these  af- 
fairs, that  you  and  Sue  postpone  your  marriage,  for 
a  year  or  two  at  least ;  you  are  both  young  and  it 
will  be  vastly  to  the  advantage  of  both  of  you,  to 
go  to  school  for  a  time.  Blunt  intends  to  rent  his 
farm,  in  fact  has  rented  it,  and  is  going  to  move  to 
Doubletown  in  a  few  weeks,  for  the  purpose  of  ed- 
ucating his  children." 

"  I'll  talk  to  Sue  about  that,  I  don't  want  to  wait, 
I  want  her  now,  but  she  has  a  heap  o'  sense,  and 
if  she  agrees  with  you,  I  guess  it  would  be  right, 
and  I'll  do  it.  I  haven't  slept  much  for  the  last  few 
nights,  being  worried  over  what  a  fool  I've  been  ; 
and  the  idea  comes  in  on  me  pretty  often,  that  it's 
no  use  to  try;  that  I'm  such  a  crooked  stick,  that 
I'll  break  all  to  splinters  before  I  get  straightened ; 
that  there  isn't  enough  timber  in  me  to  bear  straight- 
ening; how  does  that  look  to  you,  Mr.  Force?" 

' '  O,  never  mind  such  doubts  and  fears,  every- 
body, that  has  any  sense,  has  them ;  pay  no  atten- 
tion to  them;  push  in  with  a  brave  will,  and  they'll 
run  away  from  you  of  their  own  accord  after  awhile. 
You'll  conquer,  and  no  mistake,  if  you  stick  to  it, 
with  an  unswerving  purpose."  t 


BOB    SCATES   AND    PHILIP.  $1* 

"  Well,  you  encourage  me  some.  I'd  like  to  ask 
you  about  another  thing:  I  got  the  idea,  that  in 
order  to  get  all  right,  I  ought  to  pray  two  or  three 
times  a  day.  So  I  tried  it  a  little  for  the  last  few 
days,  but  it's  no  go ;  I  can't  pray  more'n  half  a 
minute  before  all  sorts  of  thoughts  come  into  my 
head,  and  I  get  so  fuddled,  and  confused,  and  con- 
founded in  my  mind,  that  I  hardly  know  what  I  am 
about,  and  so  I  quit,  feeling  like  I  am  pretty  near 
an  idiot." 

"O,  well,  don't  let  all  that  bother  you.  The 
greatest  and  best  men  have  been  troubled  more  or 
less  the  same  way,  Mr.  Scates.  It  takes  time  and 
practice,  and  much  self-control  to  keep  our  thoughts 
where  we  want  them.  When  bad  tempers  come 
up,  ask  for  self-control  and  a  clean  heart;  when 
duty  presents  itself  ask  for  strength  to  perform  ; 
when  trials  and  troubles  come,  ask  for  grace  to  bear 
thejn  ;  when  tempted,  ask  for  power  to  resist,  and 
so  on.  When  the  event  is  upon  us,  is  when  the 
prayer  is  needed.  To  me,  the  most  comforting 
and  helpful  idea  of  God,  is  that  He  is  always  near 
me,  always  around,  like  a  gentle  mother  with  her 
child,  soothing,  assisting,  forbearing,  sympathizing 
in  the  smallest  difficulties." 

"  Well,  I  am  obliged  to  you  for  that  view  of  it, 
that  comes  down  to  my  ignorance.  If  it  wouldn't 
trouble  you  too  much,  I  wish  you'd  tell  me  what 


318  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

conversion  is  ;  I  don't  think  I  have  a  clear  idea  of 
it." 

"I  suppose  the  principal  thing  meant  by  conver- 
sion is  a  change  of  tastes,  choices,  preferences  and 
feelings,  so  that  we  dislike  the  wrong  and  corrupt, 
and  turn  away  from  them,  and  have  a  constant  bent 
for  what  is  right  and  pure,  and  a  determination  to 
pursue  them." 

"Don't  they  call  it  regeneration?  Does  that 
mean  that  a  man  is  made  over  again?" 

' '  My  impression  is,  that  no  new  faculties  are 
created ;  the  ones  already  possessed  are  turned 
from  the  wrong  to  the  right  direction  ;  turned  from 
loving  and  seeking  what  is  low,  selfish,  degrading 
and  sensual,  to  what  is  generous,  elevating,  spirit- 
ual." 

"How  do  you  account  for  so  many  converted 
people  being  low,  selfish  and  sensual  at  times." 

' '  Well,  I  think  men  are  converted  according  to 
their  faith  in  what  God  is  willing  and  able  to  do  for 
them.  They  know  so  little,  and  have  thought  so 
little  of  what  God  has  told  them,  that  their  faith 
don't  reach  far  enough,  they  don't  seem  to  com- 
prehend what  may  be  done  for  them,  hence  their 
conversion  is  not  very  thorough  or  complete.  But 
they  have  got  far  enough  to  have  an  honest  desire 
and  purpose,  to  work  in  the  right  direction,  with 
all  their  defects  and  shortsightedness,  and  if  they 
persist  and  try  to  improve,  they  are  growing,  be  it 


BOB    SCATES    AND    PHILIP.  319 

ever  so  slow.  They  are  not  very  creditable  Chris- 
tians now ;  but  God  does  not  value  them  so  much 
for  what  they  are  now,  as  for  what  they  are  grow- 
ing to  be ;  as  for  what  he  can  make  out  of  them. 
Conversion  places  them  in  the  Great  Father's  hands 
under  his  care  and  culture,  and  there  is  no  telling 
how  much -he  can  make  out  of  very  poor  material. 
It  seems  to  be  a  part  of  the  Divine  law,  that  very 
little  can  be  done  for  a  man's  moral  and  spiritual 
improvement,  until  he  voluntarily  commits  the  keep- 
ing and  training  of  his  soul  to  his  Heavenly  Father. 
Conversion  is  that  voluntary  commitment  of  him- 
self." 

"I  think,  Mr.  Force,  I  have  occupied  enough 
of  your  time.  I  am  very  much  obliged  to  you 
for  your  information." 

"I  have  been  benefitted, "  said  Philip,  "by  the 
interview,  as  much  as  yourself;  and  I  shall  be  very 
happy  to  see  and  talk  with  you,  at  any  time.  Con- 
sider me  as  one  of  your  friends." 

"Thank  you,  Mr.  Force,  I  think  I'll  need  you." 
And  they  went  back  to  the  house,  whence  they 
came. 


32O  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER  XXXVI. 

THE    CONFERENCE. 

In  a  few  weeks  after  the  events  mentioned  in  the 
last  chapter,  the  Quarterly  Meeting  was  held  at 
Doubletown.  Thither  assembled  the  Class  Leaders, 
Exhorters  and  Local  Preachers  from  twenty-eight 
societies.  The  Presiding  Elder,  Rev.  Jehu  Stormus, 
was  present,  and  commenced  the  exercises,  on  Sat- 
urday, at  eleven  o'clock  a.  m.,  by  preaching. 

Mr.  Stormus  was  a  man  of  superior  energy  and 
zeal.  His  reading  had  been  rather  unmethodical  and 
desultory,  yet  extensive.  In  fact  he  had  read  too 
much ;  more  than  he  had  classified  and  set  in  order. 
He  had  never  learned  how  to  arrange  his  thoughts. 
His  discourses  would  have  been  just  as  complete, 
and  as  easily  understood,  if  he  had  begun  in  the 
middle  of  them  and  worked  either  way,  or  both 
ways,  alternately.  They  were  a  sort  of  heteroge- 
nious  mixture  of  suggestions  and  expositions, 
exhortations,  declamations,  invocations,  narratives, 
imprecations  and  blessings.  He  seldom  used  notes, 
and  probably  never  wrote  out  a  half-dozen  sermons 
in  his  life.  His  discourses  could  hardly  be  called 
preaching,  if  by  preaching  is  meant  that  a  man 


THE  CONFERENCE.  321 

starts  out  to  tell  you  something  about  a  Scripture 
truth,  or  statement,  he  calls  a  text,  and  then  tells  it. 
The  trouble  with  Stormus  was,  that  he  would  an- 
nounce his  text,  and  declare  the  subject  he  intended 
to  present  to  his  hearers,  and  then  never  present  it. 
He  said  a  great  many  good  and  wise  things,  but 
when  he  sat  down  no  man  on  earth  could  tell  what 
he  had  been  talking  about.  He  never  made  out  a 
case.  He  could  take  his  text  from  Revelations, 
where  it  speaks  of  the  "sea  of  glass,"  and  preach 
from  it  on  conversion  just  as  well  as  from  any  othei 
text.  Yet  this  gentleman  accomplished  good,  foi 
the  reason  that  he  meant  well,  and  had  a  kindly, 
generous  nature,  and  was  diligent  and  energetic, 
and  was  fully  absorbed  with  his  ministerial  labors. 
The  masses  enjoyed  his  fervor  and  simplicity,  and 
were  ready  to  declare  him  great.  He  had  a  fine 
physical  form,  and  a  melodious  voice.  Yet  it  was  a 
perpetual  annoyance  to  him  that  his  sermons  were 
not  held  in  higher  esteem  by  the  thoughtful  and 
cultivated  ;  this  was  his  thorn  in  the  flesh.  But 
when  he  rolled  out  his  scattering  sentences,  his 
manner  and  tone  indicated  that  he  felt  that  he  was 
master  of  the  most  profound  and  intricate  relations 
of  the  subject  he  started  out  to  talk  about. 

This  was  Stormus'  first  year  in  the  Presiding 
Eldership,  and  he  seemed  at  a  loss  to  know  how  to 
measure  the  dimensions  of  his  office.  The  business 
meeting,  called  the  Quarterly  Conference,  met  on 


322  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

Saturday,  at  three  o'clock,  and  Mr.  Stormus  pre- 
sided over  its  deliberations.  He  seated  himself  in 
a  chair,  and  assumed  an  imposing  air  by  leaning  his 
head  back  against  the  book-board  of  the  pulpit. 
He  gave  a  dignified,  smoothing  stroke  to  his  hair, 
and  solemnly  arranged  his  eyes,  that  they  might 
properly  indicate  the  weight  of  wisdom  above 
them,  and  the  depth  of  piety  below  them.  It 
seemed  to  be  more  difficult  for  him  to  arrange  his 
lips  to  his  complete  satisfaction.  It  was  designed, 
on  his  part,  that  they  should  be  an  impressive  ex- 
pression of  calmness,  decision,  holiness  and  myste- 
rious sublimity.  When  he  felt,  as  far  as  human  eye 
could  discover,  that- he  was  in  full  possession  of  all 
the  respectable  requisites  for  his  position,  he  placed 
the  thumb  and  fingers  of  one  hand  against  the  thumb 
and  fingers  of  the  other,  and  brought  them  to  a 
point  before  him,  about  midway  between,  his  knees 
and  nose,  and  gave  two  of  those  unexplainable 
swallows  that  accompany  embarrassment,  and  pro- 
ceeded to  business. 

Nothing  unusual  occurred  until  they  came  to  the 
question  of  giving  license  to  preach  to  Mr.  Felix 
U.  Deafner.  Mr.  Blunt  was  opposed  to  extending 
to  this  gentleman  the  same  privileges  in  this  regard 
which  he  enjoyed  himself.  Another  man,  who 
agreed  with  Blunt,  arose  and  spoke  to  the  question 
in  the  following  fashion,  as  nearly  as  I  am  able  to 


THE  CONFERENCE.  323 

make  out  from  the  reports  of  the  speech  that  have 
come  to  me : 

"  Brother  Deafner  has  license  to  exhort  now,  and 
he  uses  his  exhorter's  license  to  preach.  I  have  no 
objection  to  his  preaching  on  an  exhorter's  license ; 
I  object  to  his  having  license  either  to  preach  or 
exhort,  for  he  can  do  neither.  It  would  be  better 
for  the  credit  of  the  church,  and  for  himself,  if  he 
was  known  to  be  nothing  more  than  a  high  private. 
For  the  church  to  say  that  a  man  can  preach,  when 
he  can't,  is  making  our  judgment  of  no  account. 
Now  I'll  give  you  a  few  specimens  of  Brother  Deaf- 
ner's  efforts. 

"At  one  time  he  took  for  his  text,  'Judge  not, 
that  ye  be  not  judged,  for  with  what  judgment  ye 
judge,  ye  shall  be  judged,  and  with  what  measure 
ye  mete,  it  shall  be  measured  to  you  again.'  He 
went  on  from  this  to  say :  '  Now,  bretheren  and 
sisters,  that  means  when  you  sell  meat  you  must 
give  good  measure,  for  the  tex'  says,  with  what 
measure  ye  meat  it  shall  be  measured  to  you  again. 
That  is,  if  you  give  short  weight,  you'll  get  short 
weight.'" 

This  exhibition  of  Deafner's  exegetical  talent 
greatly  disturbed  the  gravity  of  the  conference. 
Celebs,  as  he  was  wont  to  do  when  amused,  laughed 
heartily,  and  even  the  chairman  so  far  forgot  his 
assumed  sobriety  as  to  indulge  in  a  smile  of  won- 
der. But  the  gentlemen  on  the  floor  continued : 


324  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"At  another  time  he  was  preaching  from  the 
text,  'Wo  to  the  wicked,  for  it  shall  be  ill  with 
him,'  and  he  expounded  these  words  on  this  wise: 
'  When  ye  have  a  team  o'  hosses,  and  they're  wild 
and  rebellious,  and  you're  afeerd  they're  'bout  to 
run  and  tear  the  harness,  and  smash  things,  you 
hold  the  reins  back  with  all  yer  might  and  main  and 
holler  wo  !  So  with  the  Lord,  when  He  sees  sin- 
ners driving  to  destruction,  and  about  to  smash  all 
their  hopes  forever.  He  says,  wo  !  Now  everybody 
knows  that's  meant  for  'em  to  stop.  When  ye're 
playing  cards,  and  getting  drunk  and  cussin',  and 
cuttin'  up  Jack  in  any  way,  my  tex'  says,  wo  /'  ' 

The  laughter  of  the  conference  seemed  to  be  in- 
creased. 

"I  will  give  you  one  more  specimen,"  said  the 
gentleman  on  the  floor;  "and  then  if  you  think  he 
is  competent  to  preach,  I  shall  not  interfere.  He 
undertook  to  preach  to  a  large  crowd  at  the  Tomp- 
kins  School  House,  and  started  out  about  this  way  ; 
I  cannot  give  you  the  exact  words,  but  will  come  as 
near  them  as  I  can  remember.  He  said:  "  Breth- 
eren  and  sisters,  my  tex'  is  in  the  Book  of  Revela- 
tions. These  Revelations  was  writ  by  John.  This 
was  the  same  John  that  had  his  raiment  of  camel's 
hair,  and  a  leathern  girdle  about  his  lines,  and  his 
meat  was  locuses  and  wild  honey.  This  was  the 
same  John,  my  bretheren  and  sisters,  who  was 


THE  CONFERENCE.  325 

throw'd  into  a  chaldron  of  bilein'  ile ;  and  that  He 
was  called  the  ile  of  Patmos,  and  while  in  it  he  writ 
the  Book  of  Revelations. ' ' 

Stormus'  dignity  was  overpowered  over  this  last 
exhibit  of  Deafner's  Scripture  knowledge,  and  he 
joined  with  Celebs  to  lead  the  crowd  in  a  general 
roar. 

Blunt  had  rented  his  farm,  and  moved  to  Double- 
town  to  educate  his  children.  Robert  Scates  had 
found  his  way  into  the  classes  of  the  Seminary. 
He  and  Sue  had  agreed  that  their  marriage  should 
be  postponed  for  a  few  years ;  and  both  were  now 
bending  their  energies  to  conquer  their  dry  lessons. 

Young  Dr.  Wallace,  who  had  lately  moved  to 
the  village,  had  two  rooms  over  his  uncle's  store, 
and  Robert  shared  them  with  him.  The  public 
office  of  the  doctor  was  in  one  corner  of  the  store 
below.  Robert's  funds  were  limited,  and  so  he 
cooked  for  himself  in  one  of  these  upper  rooms, 
and  slept  with  his  cousin,  the  doctor.  Robert  was 
barely  of  age ;  his  father  was  a  widower,  and  re- 
mained upon  his  farm,  and  at  convenient  periods 
sent  to  his  son  the  raw  material  necessary  for  his 
table.  Philip  was  often  to  be  found  in  these  upper 
rooms,  enjoying  his  leisure  with  Bob  and  the  doc- 
tor. Dr.  Wallace  was  a  genial,  intellectual  young 
gentleman,  about  Philip's  age.  It  was  not  many 


326  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

days  after  the  youths  had  commenced  their  inter- 
views, till  Philip  took  what  library  he  had  to  these 
second  story  apartments,  and  made  that  his  place 
for  study.  The  time  he  had  for  this  literary  luxury 
was  but  small,  for  his  large  circuit  demanded  thai 
he  should  be  moving  about  from  place  to  place. 


THE  CHURCH  FESTIVAL.  327 


CHAPTER  XXXVII. 

THE    CHURCH     FESTIVAL. 

Not  many  days  after  the  Quarterly  Conference 
referred  to,  there  was  to  be  a  church  festival,  and 
Philip  intended  to  go.  An  old  warehouse  was 
fitted  up  for  the '  important  occasion  in  the  most 
flaring  style.  Candles  were  cut  into  halves,  and  fas- 
tened to  the  sash  so  that  every  pane  of  glass  in  the 
windows  was  thereby  illuminated.  Wreaths  of  ever- 
greens encircled  the  posts  that  supported  the  roof. 
Grand  and  ancient-looking  candlesticks,  which  had 
been  borrowed  from  every  family  in  the  neighbor- 
hood who  had  them  to  loan,  were  arranged  upon 
the  tables. 

A  free  card  of  admission  had  been  sent  to  Philip 
out  of  regard  for  his  position  as  a  minister.  When 
he  reached  the  door  where  the  tickets  were  pre- 
sented, two  ladies  were  standing  by  a  gentleman, 
and  the  latter  was  roaring  and  cursing,  in  the  name 
of  Jehosophat,  and  Barbara  Maria,  at  the  door- 
keeper. As  Philip  looked  at  the  hat,  tipped  to  one 
side,  and  surveyed  the  flashy  clothing,  and  listened 
to  the  sharp-roaring  voice,  he  thought,  ' '  Certainly 
I  have  seen  that  man  somewhere  before  now." 


328  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"Maybe  you  think  I'm  a  liar,  sir?  If  you  do, 
just  step  out  into  the  street  and  I'll " — 

"Oh,  goodness!  Mr.  Sackett,  don't!"  exclaim- 
ed the  older  of  the  two  ladies. 

"You  will  please  stand  to  one  side,  and  don't 
block  up  the  way;  other  people  desire  to  pass  in," 
said  the  consequential  doorkeeper. 

At  this  juncture  Philip  came  up,  and  recognizing 
the  pedler  with  whom  he  had  rode  through  the 
long  lane,  introduced  himself.  Hands  were  ex- 
tended, and  the  pedler  cursed  his  luck,  and  rapidly 
explained  how  he  had  lost  his  tickets  by  the  way, 
and  that  this  doorkeeper  was  very  impertinent,  and 
if  Philip  would  be  so  kind  as  to  take  charge  of  these 
ladies  he  would  jerk  him  out  of  his  boots ;  and  that 
the  doorkeeper  had  intimated  that  he  was  a  liar, 
and  he  would  endure  that  from  no  man. 

Philip  called  the  pedler  a  little  to  one  side,  so  the 
crowd  could  pass,  and  by  a  few  well  chosen  words, 
so  far  assuaged  his  wrath  that  he  sufficiently  came 
to  himself  as  to  introduce  Philip  to  the  ladies,  who 
seemed  to  be  overwhelmed  with  mortification  and 
confusion. 

' '  I  beg  pardon,  ladies,  for  so  far  losing  my  self- 
control,  at  the  impudence  of  that  goslin',  as  to 
forget  to  introduce  to  you  my  young  friend,  Mr. 
Force." 

The  ladies  bowed  gracefully,  and  seemed  to  be 
greatly  relieved  in  that  Mr.  Sackett  had  been  so 


THE  CHURCH  FESTIVAL.  329 

easily  subdued.  The  affair  of  the  tickets  was  soon 
settled.  Philip  bowed,  and  felt  generous,  and 
blushed,  and  expressed  his  happiness  at  meeting 
the  ladies ;  and  by  a  combination  of  various  little 
influences,  he  found  himself  with  the  younger  of 
the  two  under  his  care  for  the  evening. 

Miss  Kate  Brooks,  with  an  artless  bow,  placed 
her  hand  on  Philip's  arm.  Her  glove  was  slightly 
worn  at  the  ends,  but  her  hands  were  small,  and  she 
had  barely  grown  to  womanhood.  A  delicate  blush 
was  on  her  cheek,  and  her  eyes  glistened  with  native 
sense  and  pleasure. 

Philip  began  to  warm  with  a  feeling  of  protec- 
tion as  he  inquired  if  Miss  Brooks  and  he  had 
ever  met  before. 

"Oh,  I  saw  you  when  father  went  with  you  to 
look  after  your  horse  that  died."  Here  she  began 
to  admire  the  decorations  of  the  old  warehouse. 
' '  How  finely  they  have  fitted  it  up  ;  how  beautifully 
everything  is  arranged,"  and  she  looked  about  with 
a  sort  of  rapturous  delight,  and  Philip  felt  happy, 
and  a  sort  of  mental  satisfaction  possessed  them  as 
they  moved  about  together. 

"I  am  glad  to  meet  you  once  more,  Mr.  Force. 
Hope  you'll  prosper  now  and  forever,"  said  the 
pcdler,  as  he  came  near  to  Philip,  with  Mrs.  Brooks 
upon  his  arm,  to  whom  he  went  on  remarking : 
' '  He's  a  clever  fellow,  if  he  is  a  preacher.  He 
rode  with  me  a  few  hours  once,  and  interested  mr 


33O  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

hugely;  he's  some,  sure."  And  away  he  went, 
smiling  and  bowing  to  all  promiscuously,  full  of 
flash  dignity  and  self-esteem  ;  sweeping  around  arm- 
in-arm  with  Mrs.  Brooks;  patronizing  her  in  the 
most  affable  manner;  telling  of  remarkable  scenes 
and  wonderful  cities  he  had  visited,  and  of 
honorable  people  whose  acquaintance  he  had  made 
in  former  days. 

Philip  thought  of  the  admonition  to  which  he  had 
so  often  listened,  to  keep  aloof  from  the  society  of 
women,  and  he  looked  for  an  opportunity  to  com- 
mit his  youthful  charge  again  to  her  mother  and  the 
pedlar.  But  Mr.  Sackett  whirled  around  so  rapidly 
with  the  mother,  and  the  daughter  lingered  so 
gracefully  about  every  object  of  attraction  she  met, 
and  withal  was  so  sensible  and  natural  and  enter- 
taining that  it  seemed  impossible  for  him  to  dis- 
engage himself.  And  aside  from  what  the  churchly 
portion  of  Mrs.  Grundy  would  say,  he  had  but 
little  desire  to  let  go  his  beautiful  partner.  Of 
course  nearly  everybody  was  there,  and  many  were 
curious  to  know  how  it  was  that  Miss  Brooks  and 
the  young  preacher  were  at  the  festival  together. 

Some  of  the  more  dignified  and  stately  ones 
bowed  to  Philip  with  a  sober  and  hesitating  look ; 
while  the  more  fast  and  flashy  nodded  their  heads 
good-naturedly  and  looked  knowing,  and  now  and 
then  were  seen  to  wink,  and  quietly  call  attention  to 
Miss  Brooks  and  her  beau.  Kate's  color  height- 


KATE  AT  SIXTEEN. 


THE  CHURCH  FESTIVAL.  331 

ened,  her  excitement  added  to  her  loveliness,  and 
pleasure  sparkled  in  her  eyes  as  she  seemed  to 
shelter  herself  by  Philip's  side,  and  she  appeared  to 
be  saying  to  herself,  ' '  I  am  walking  with  as  attrac- 
tive a  gentleman  as  there  is  in  the  room." 

Philip  was  flattered  and  pleased  with  the  unaffected 
confidence  of  the  young  girl,  and  persuaded  his 
conscience  that  he  was  engaged  in  a  very  natural 
and  commendable  act  of  brotherly-kindness.  And 
he  by  no  means  objected  to  her  because  she  was  so 
handsome,  and  her  voice  so  full  of  melody,  and  her 
movements  at  once  so  childlike  and  considerate  ; 
and  all  her  questions  and  answers  so  full  of  delicacy 
and  wisdom ;  and  because  she  paid  such  deference 
to  his  judgment,  and  walked  by  his  side  so  content- 
edly; and  because  here  and  yonder  was  a  young 
man,  who  looked  as  if  he  wished  he  was  in  Philip's 
place. 

Kate  was  very  pretty.  Her  eyes  were  as  blue  as 
the  sky  and  as  brilliant  as  the  stars ;  her  teeth  were 
perfection ;  her  lips  were  as  red  as  the  deep-tinted 
rose,  and  her  form,  though  rather  delicate,  would 
have  rejoiced  the  heart  of  a  sculptor ;  and  her  head 
and  shoulders,  her  neck  and  waist,  in  fact  her  whole 
physical  person,  and  the  charming  expression  of  her 
countenance,  the  most  eminent  painter  on  earth 
would  have  regarded  them  all  with  pleasure.  It 
was,  however,  only  within  a  year  that  nearly  all  the 
population  of  Doubletovvn  had  come  to  the  conclu- 


332  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

sion  that  she  was  a  beauty.  Only  a  little  while  ago 
(so  it  seemed  to  her,  she  remembered  it  so  well,) 
her  father  had  said  that  she  was  puny  and  gaivky,  and 
some  one  had  made  the  remark  (which  she  never 
forgot)  that  she  was  "a  scant  little  pattern  of  awk- 
wardness." But  she  was  none  of  these  now.  No 
fairer  flower  bloomed  in  the  land.  Philip  wondered 
how  so  many  desirable  qualities  could  grow  and 
flourish  and  become  so  attractively  developed  within 
the  dingy  walls  of  the  Doubletown  Inn. 

Philip  and  Kate  paced  the  floor  together.  They 
saw  a  number  of  tables  with  young  ladies  behind 
them  acting  as  clerks,  and  doing  their  utmost  to 
sell  their  wares  and  notions  to  the  crowd.  These 
clerks  grew  eloquent  in  recommending  mysterious 
articles,  which  no  one  knew  at  sight  for  what  pur- 
pose they  were  made. 

While  he  was  leisurely  moving  about,  listening  to 
a  few  musical  words  from  Kate,  he  was  beset  by  a 
bevy  of  youths,  who,  with  innumerable  winks  and 
smiles,  nods  and  giggles,  and  scraping  and  bowing, 
gave  the  couple  to  understand  that  each  of  them 
would  find  a  letter  at  the  postoffice.  Philip  thought 
over  some  of  the  curious  events  he  had  already 
encountered  during  his  short  circuit  career,  and 
began  to  be  somewhat  confused  in  regard  to  the 
tendency  of  all  these  things.  But  he  was  now 
launched  into  the  current  and  must  needs  float  with 
the  crowd  at  present.  Then,  here  were  nearly  all 


THE  CHURCH  FESTIVAL.  333 

the  staid  and  sober  of  his  church,  who  had  come 
from  miles  around  to  enjoy  the  festive  occasion. 
Here  were  all  the  ministers,  and  the  teachers  of  the 
school  and  seminary,  judges,  lawyers  and  doctors  of 
Doubletown.  And  as  this  make  believe  postoffice 
was  thoroughly  patronized  by  all  classes,  as  all 
postoffices  are,  he  called  for  letters  for  himself  and 
Kate. 

' '  Come  this  way,  Mr.  Force,  and  be  weighed.  I 
charge  twenty-five  cents,  but  as  you  are  the  preacher 
I'll  weigh  you  free  gratis,  for  nothing,  and  throw 
Kate  in  on  the  same  terms." 

"Thank  you,  Miss  Barton,"  said  Philip;  "I  am 
not  sufficiently  proud  of  my  weight  to  try  it." 

"Oh,  but  you  must  be  weighed;  no  evasion; 
everybody's  weighed.  We're  keeping  a  record  of 
each  of  'em,  and  you're  not  to  make  yourself  an 
exception." 

And  the  little  attractive  weigh-mistress  was  so 
persistent  and  eloquent  and  joyous  that  Philip  was 
whirled  upon  the  scales  and  told  his  weight,  at  least 
within  twenty  pounds.  Kate  declined  to  have  her 
avoirdupois  tested,  leaving  her  points  of  objection 
to  be  conjectured.  Philip  was  struck  with  the  mild- 
ness, yet  firmness,  of  her  refusal.  There  were 
grace  and  nerve  in  the  slight  incident.  As  they 
went  on  they  encountered  the  grab-bags,  lotteries, 
fishing  pools,  and  the  other  and-so-forths  usual  at 
such  places. 


334  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

He  and  his  fair  partner,  at  length  well  pleased 
with  each  other,  sauntered  around  to  the  supper 
department.  Here  were  all  specimens  of  refresh- 
ments, with  a  crowded  patronage ;  and  every 
customer  was  doing  his  utmost  to  bring  the  delica- 
cies of  the  season  where  he  could  most  certainly 
determine  their  value ;  and  the  effort  seemed  to  be 
to  accomplish  this  delightful  task  in  the  shortest 
possible  time. 

Our  young  couple  stood  for  a  while  waiting  for 
an  opportunity  to  take  part  in  the  exercises.  A 
pale-faced,  delicate  creature  had  just  stepped  up 
with  her  buoyant  beau,  and  occupied  the  place 
before  them.  Philip  says  it  was  remarkable  the 
amount  that  one  so  frail  felt  called  upon  to  consume. 
She  and  her  partner  eat  turkey  and  pig,  sandwiches 
and  sponge  cake,  marble  cake  and  succotash,  tarts 
and  pickles,  coffee  and  cold  sausage,  jelly  and  pies, 
and  another  bit  of  turkey  and  pig,  until  he  was 
wearied  of  waiting. 

Kate  declared  she  had  been  to  supper,  and 
unless  Mr.  Force  was  anxious,  she  would  much 
prefer  not  eating ;  and  as  he  remembered  the 
condition  of  his  purse,  he  was  easily  persuaded  to 
forego  the  pleasure  of  the  feast. 

Philip  had  forgotten  the  mother  and  the  pedlar,  or 
perhaps  he  did  not  choose  to  remember  them ;  at 
all  events  he  and  Kate  were  very  much  occupied 
with  each  other,  and  neither  seemed  inclined  to 


THE  CHURCH  FESTIVAL.  335 

follow  or  look  after  them.  In  fact,  they  seemed 
somewhat  oblivious  to  the  opinions  and  concern  of 
any  third  party  whatever. 

People  were  now  beginning  to  prepare  for  home, 
and  the  first  conspicuous  effort  at  starting  in  that 
direction  was  the  signal  for  everybody  to  rush  and 
push  and  squeeze  for  the  door.  One  eager,  awk- 
ward individual  dashed  by  Kate,  and  elbowed  her 
so  that  she  fell  back  with  a  slight  cry  ;  whereupon 
Philip,  with  skill  and  care,  caught  her  in  his  arms 
just  to  keep  her  from  falling,  and  kept  up  this  kind 
of  labor  and  kindliness,  for  fear  she  might  fall 
again,  until  they  had  emerged  to  where  the  throng 
was  not  quite  so  dense. 

"  I  am  glad,"  thought  Philip,  "  that  this  festival 
is  over.  I  almost  wish  this  child  had  fallen  into 
some  other  hands.  Her  innocent  sensibility  dis- 
turbs me.  I  must  have  her  back  to  her  mother  as 
soon  as  possible."  And  so  he  said  :  'k  Come,  Kate, 
I'll  keep  you  from  falling;  hold  to  me  firmly.  Let 
us  go  out  this  way.  I  think  I  saw  your  mother 
at  the  door." 

But  the  mother  and  pedlar  had  gone ;  and  what 
should  Philip  do  but  further  continue  his  civilities 
and  protection  to  his  fair  partner  from  the  old  ware- 
house to  her  home  ?  When  they  were  walking 
alone,  and  there  were  no  outside  attractions  but  the 
moon  and  stars  and  the  dull  buildings  by  the  way, 
and  the  jolly  and  complaining  voices  returning  from 
24 


THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

the  festival,  somehow  our  couple  were  still  more 
attracted  to  each  other.  He  felt  like  he  was  her 
shield  and  defense,  and  she  accepted  the  situation 
with  grateful  joy.  They  walked  slower  and  slower, 
and  talked  with  greater  freedom,  and  their  words 
were  warmer  and  fresher,  and  truer  to  nature  than 
when  in  the  crowd ;  and  both  regretted  that  the 
distance  they  had  to  go  was  so  short. 

Mrs.  Brooks,  who  with  the  pedlar  had  reached 
her  home  a  few  minutes  before  them,  welcomed  the 
couple ;  and  the  pedler  looked  quizzical  and  humor- 
ous from  under  his  hat  rim,  and  gave  sundry  sly 
winks,  designed  as  master  tokens  of  sagacity,  and 
Philip  was  greatly  amused  thereat,  and  said : 

"Mrs.  Brooks,  I  am  glad  to  bring  Miss  Kate 
back  to  you  safe,"  and  turning  around,  he  went  on : 
"We  enjoyed  the  festival  very  much,  didn't  we?" 

"Very  much  indeed,"  said  Kate,  quietly,  her 
sparkling  eyes  turned  toward  the  floor. 

After  a  few  moments  of  conversation,  Philip 
shook  hands  with  all  and  parted  with  them,  his  head 
full  of  Kate. 

That  night  he  lodged  at  the  parsonage.  Celebs 
and  his  wife  were  invariably  kind  to  him,  and  were 
always  disposed  to  think  that  every  thing  he  said 
and  did  was  right.  They  both  ministered  to  his 
comfort  as  carefully  as  if  he  were  a  brother  to  them, 
and  long  years  afterwards  he  was  accustomed  to 
speak  of  their  innumerable  acts  of  magnanimity 


THE  CHURCH  FESTIVAL.  337 

and  strokes  of  cleverness  with  sentiments  of  grati- 
tude. The  couple  were  of  incalculable  service  to 
him,  and  he  never  ceased  his  esteem  for  them. 
They  were  a  healthy  encouragement  to  him  in  all 
good  efforts,  and  a  restraining  power  in  matters 
superfluous  and  doubtful.  When  they  didn't  intend 
it,  a  quiet,  unobtrusive  influence  went  out  of  them 
that  tended  to  mould  and  shape  the  thoughts  and 
words  and  acts  of  Philip  in  the  right  direction. 

Among  the  older  and  wiser  members  of  the 
church,  and  among  the  preachers  who  had  already 
made  their  mark  in  the  world,  and  among  perma- 
nently established  citizens  whose  reputations  were 
secure,  Philip  hardly  ventured  to  be  more  than  a 
polite  listener.  And  a  young  man  that  has  a  talent  for 
listening,  and  knows  to  whom  he  should  listen,  there 
is  no  habit  that  is  more  profitable  to  its  possessor, 
nor  one  that  is  more  popular  with  thinking  people. 
And  thereby  he  adds  their  wisdom  to  his  own,  and 
conceals  what  defects  attach  to  himself.  Yet  when 
one  plays  the  listener  for  a  season,  it  becomes  irk- 
some; one  becomes  overburdened,  spiritually  or 
mentally  smothered,  hindered  and  overpowered  with 
the  air  of  authority,  coming  even  from  the  wise, 
until  one  wants  to  get  out  and  be  alone,  and  see  if 
he  is  a  man,  and  see  if  he  has  a  thinking  machine 
of  his  own,  and  see  if  he  has  the  liberty  to  take  a 
full,  hearty  breath.  So  when  you  have  a  few  ideas 


338  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

that  you  want  to  arrange,  or  even  if  you  want  them 
to  go  through  you  pell-mell,  or  you  want  to  get  rid 
of  them,  or  you  want  to  analyze  them,  you  seek  to 
be  alone.  Hence,  it  may  be  that  whatever  delicate 
sentiments  found  a  place  in  the  bosom  of  Philip,  he 
revolved  them  in  solitude. 


MISCHIEF  BREWING.  339 


CHAPTER  XXXVIII. 

MISCHIEF    BREWING. 

"That  lovely  girl  besets  me.  What  a  face  for  a 
painter;  how  graceful  and  natural  her  manners. 
She  is  more  beautiful  in  her  simplicity,  than  hun- 
dreds of  young  ladies  who  have  studied  the  world, 
and  who  regard  themselves  proficient  in  the  art  of 
shining.  Professor  DeKalb  teaches  her  music,  does 
he  ?  So  he's  left  Wildeden  Academy,  where  I  used 
to  recite  to  him,  and  come  up  here  to  teach  German 
in  the  Doubletown  Seminary.  I  wonder  if  Kate's 
voice  is  as  sweet  singing,  as  it  is  speaking.  She 
must  be  good.  But  this  is  all  nonsense ;  am  I  not 
engaged?  I  would  like  to  see  Mary.  She  is  the 
best  of  earth  to  me,  I  must  not  be  fickle.  I  never 
did  like  these  mercurial  wanderers,  who  never  could 
keep  their  hearts  in  one  place.  I  must  dismiss 
Kate.  It  is  not  right  to  have  her  entangled  with 
my  thoughts.  It  is  not  justice  to  her,  nor  to  Mary, 
nor  to  my  better  self,  and  the  Great  Father  will  not 
approve  of  it.  Hie,  ho,  I'll  let  the  lovely  flower 
go.  I  suppose  I  ought  to  call  on  DeKalb.  He's 
a  mystery.  He  is  a  fair  scholar,  and  wants  to  be 
regarded  as  a  philosopher,  and  a  man  of  superior 


34°  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

sense,  and  extraordinary  piety.  Sense,  he  has  but  lit 
tie,  about  common  things.  He  has  no  knowledge  of 
people,  and  but  little  tact.  He  does  so  many  things 
out  of  time,  and  out  of  place ;  he  has  no  idea  of 
personal  appropriateness.  How  he  tries  to  be 
popular  and  fails.  He  would  do  anything  to  be  a 
ladies'  man,  but  they  will  not  appreciate  him.  I 
believe  I'll  study  him.  I  really  know  but  few  peo- 
ple in  this  town  ;  I  must  call  on  them.  I'll  go  and 
see  DeKalb  for  old  acquaintance  sake." 

Such  were  some  of  Philip's  reflections  as  he  rose 
in  the  morning.  How  human  hearts  work.  Had 
Philip  determined  to  captivate  the  innocent  Kate, 
he  could  not  have  accomplished  his  purpose  more 
successfully,  than  by  the  course  he  had  inadvertant- 
ly fallen  upon  the  night  before.  He  only  met  her 
by  accident.  A  cynic  could  hardly  blame  him. 
He  had  only  been  courteous,  and  good  humored; 
he  had  no  thought  of  anything,  but  goodness  and 
honesty;  he  had  not  made  the  shadow  of  an  ad- 
vance beyond  the  rules  of  propriety  among  ordinary 
friends,  nor  had  the  slightest  advantage  been  taken 
of  her  youthful  sensibility,  and  yet  these  very  things 
had  made  her  admire  him. 

.  Kate  had  gone  to  rest  at  the  proper  time,  and 
all  the  appliances  for  sleep  were  the  same  as  usual 
around  her.  But  she  was  restless,  a  new  fire  was 
in  her  heart ;  Philip  was  in  all  her  thoughts.  She  had 


MISCHIEF  BREWING.  341 

read  a  half  dozen  different  borrowed  novels,  and 
here  was  the  most  admirable  character  described  in 
all  of  them.  His  voice  echoed  all  through  her 
when  she  was  half  asleep.  Every  thing  she  knew 
of  manliness,  honor  and  goodness,  she  was  sure  that 
it  was  by  her  side  the  previous  evening.  His  move- 
ments, his  form,  his  frank  expressions  and  hearty 
laughter  ;  his  countenance  beaming  upon  her  with 
kindness,  his  style,  and  all  the  different  items  of 
his  attire,  were  repeated  over  and  over  again  in  her 
memory.  If  she  dreamed  of  falling  his  arm  was 
encircling  and  protecting  her.  If  she  imagined 
trouble  and  danger  threatening  her,  he  was  by  her 
side  to  shield  and  defend  her.  If  she  in  fancy  were 
groping  and  blundering  in  ignorance,  was  not  he 
there  to  teach.  If  shadowed  by  sorrow,  his  words 
and  smile  consoled  her.  Ah !  Kate,  Kate,  you 
were  worse  off  than  Philip.  How  nature  plays  the 
mischief  with  us.  How  we  go  by  impulse,  and  not 
by  discretion. 

The  day  after  the  festival,  at  the  suggestion  of 
Celebs,  Philip  determined  to  spend  in  visiting  among 
his  people,  that  he  might  become  more  intimately 
acquainted  with  them.  His  senior  had  given  to  him 
a  list  of  names  and  localities,  where  it  was  thought 
most  advisable  for  him  to  call.  The  Doubletown 
Inn  was  not  on  the  programme.  Philip  determined 
to  obey  instructions  to  the  letter.  In  nearly  every 


342  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

place  he  was  received  with  a  hearty  welcome.  He 
went  from  house  to  house.  The  children,  except- 
ing the  very  small  ones,  were  not  at  home ;  the  men 
were  at  their  business,  and  the  women  were  engaged 
alone  in  household  affairs.  His  words  were  few, 
and  his  interviews  brief,  and  where  prayers  were 
appropriate  he  prayed. 

About  four  p.  m.  he  found  himself  near  the  door 
of  the  Inn.  Why  was  this  not  an  appropriate  time 
to  call  on  DeKalb  ?  Yet  he  must  have  known  that 
the  professor  was  at  the  school  room.  When  he 
knocked,  Kate  opened  the  door,  and  did  not  seem 
surprised,  in  fact  she  had  been  expecting  him  all 
day ;  she  had  gone  to  the  window  twenty  times  to 
look  for  him  ;  she  felt  that  he  must  come.  Here  he 
was,  and  her  highest  earthly  hope  was  fulfilled,  the 
utmost  that  her  heart  had  dared  to  hope  had  come 
to  pass.  He  frankly  shook  her  by  the  hand.  She 
was  buoyant  with  pleasure  and  blushes.  He  was 
more  affable  here,  than  at  any  house  he  had  visited  ; 
yet  this  house  was  not  on  the  list  Celebs  had  given 
him.  But  as  he  had  attended  faithfully  to  business, 
how  natural  the  call  from  labor  to  refreshment.  In 
the  best  of  humor,  and  with  the  idea  that  he  was 
furnishing  a  world  of  gladness,  he  seated  himself  in 
the  old,  easy  rocking-chair. 

Mr.  Brooks  came  in  from  the  back  way.  He 
labored  to  tell  how  he  felt  honored  by  this  voluntary 


MISCHIEF  BREWING.  343 

visit ;  hoped,  he  would  come  frequently,  and  that 
he  would  stay  for  supper;  that  he  would  enjoy 
his  new  home ;  and  threw  in  a  few  words  about 
Philip  losing  his  horse ;  and  then  it  occured  to  him 
that  he  had  business  to  attend  to,  and  he  walked 
toward  the  back  door,  and  bowed,  and  again  in- 
vited Philip  to  come  often ;  and  was  sorry  that  he 
had  not  more  leisure  to  converse  with  him  this  eve- 
ning ;  and  he  went  out. 

Mr.  Brooks  kept  a  little  cabinet  shop  close  by, 
and  run  a  rickety  one-horse  hearse  at  funerals,  and 
tended  the  shop  when  business  was  dull  at  the  Inn. 

How  much  ease  and  freedom  a  third  party  can 
give,  by  thus  getting  out  of  the  way.  Kate 
and  Philip  regaled  each  other  for  several  moments, 
in  the  unrestrained  luxury  of  a  quiet  talk.  As  far 
as  is  known,  neither  of  them  ever  told  exactly  what 
was  said.  But  such  conversation  as  it  was,  the  ad- 
vent of  Mrs.  Brooks  checked  the  current  of. 

Philip  manifested  more  solicitude  about  her 
health,  than  he  had  shown  over  the  health  of  any 
other  matron  during  the  day ;  and  he  inquired  how 
she  had  slept  after  the  festival,  and  hoped  she  had 
no  headache,  and  that  her  rheumatism  had  not  at- 
tacked her ;  and  said  that  he  was  incidently  passing 
that  way,  and  could  not  go  by  the  door  without 
calling  a  moment  or  two,  to  inquire  how  they  pros- 
pered. And  he  talked  of  Mr.  Brooks'  kindness 
in  the  matter  of  the  dead  horse,  and  asked  a  score 


344  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

of  questions  about  the  Inn,  of  which  he  had  not 
the  least  concern  as  to  how  they  were  answered. 
Not  that  he  had  no  interest  in  or  regard  for  the  es- 
tablishment, but  as  he  was  full  now  of  one  thing, 
every  other  that  was  poured  in,  ran  over,  and  was 
scattered  and  lost.  He  inquired  about  the  neigh- 
bors, in  an  absent-minded  way ;  and  invited  the 
whole  family  to  church,  and  hoped,  especially  that  the 
children  would  attend  the  Sunday  School  and  that 
Kate  would  be  one  of  the  teachers.  But  herein  the 
habits  of  the  family  had  anticipated  the  place  in  the 
church  and  the  school,  to  which  Philip  would  per- 
suade them. 

They  had  looked  with  pleasure  for  the  coming  of 
the  young  preacher  into  the  town,  and  were  flat- 
tered that  he  had  called  so  soon.  Both  of  the  wo- 
men were  enthusiastic  in  his  favor ;  and  thus  they 
were  making  themselves  agreeable  to  each  other, 
when  DeKalb  made  his  appearance.  Philip  rose 
with  cheerfulness  to  meet  him  as  he  entered  the 
door. 

"  How  do  you  do,  Professor  DeKalb?  I  came  over 
here  to  see  you." 

DeKalb  looked  sober,  and  tried  to  laugh,  and 
appear  cordial,  but  there  were  a  few  slight  traces  of 
sadness  and  contempt  about  his  lips  and  eyes,  as  he 
reached  out  his  hand  to  Philip. 

' '  Ah !  yes,  Mr.  Force,  I  am  glad  to  meet  you  ; 
come  over  to  see  me,  is  that  so,  Mr.  Force?"  and 


MISCHIEF  BREWING.  345 

his  visage  looked  as  if  he  were  about  to  start  a  tune 
at  a  funeral.  Here  was  a  counter-current.  The 
flow  was  checked,  and  a  moment  of  silence  came. 
Why  cannot  two  unmarried  men  be  a  success,  in 
trying  to  please  the  same  attractive  young  woman  at 
the  same  time  ?  Each  of  the  party  tried  to  start 
something  entertaining,  but  it  was  no  go  ;  wit,  hu- 
mor and  wisdom  all  fell  flat.  At  last  DeKalb,  with 
a  slight  touch  of  groaning  to  his  voice,  remarked  : 

' '  Well,  Mr.  Force,  as  I  have  the  honor  of  this 
call  from  you,  will  you  please  walk  to  my  room, 
up  stairs  ?  " 

Philip  had  not  the  smallest  inclination  to  go  ;  but 
as  he  had  run  himself  into  the  trap,  he  concluded 
to  persevere  and  be  consistent,  and  so  made  an  effort 
to  be  delighted  with  the  opportunity  of  a  social 
half-hour  with  the  Professor.  As  DeKalb  was  con- 
ducting him  away  the  ladies  politely  protested 
against  it,  and  claimed  him  as  their  visitor,  which 
claim  added  to  the  Dutchman's  decision  to  accom- 
plish his  purpose.  As  they  went  along  the  hall  on 
the  second  floor,  they  met  Mr.  Sackett,  the  pedler, 
who  invited  himself  into  their  company,  and  en- 
tertained the  perplexed  Professor  with  a  rollicking 
account  of  his  ride  with  Philip,  and  what  a  pleasant 
time  they  had  together  despite  the  awful  muddy 
lane. 

Mr.  Sackett  was  as  near  as  could  be,  the  opposite 
of  DeKalb.     One   was  a  loud,  outspoken   infidel, 


346  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

the  other  was  a  sober  church  member.  Sackett 
would  swear  when  he  was  mad,  and  DeKalb 
would  pray  when  he  was  sad,  and  both  were 
often  in  these  respective  moods.  Sackett  would 
roar  and  rollick  in  all  kinds  of  amusements ; 
DeKalb  withdrew  from  what  he  considered  the 
vain  and  foolish,  but  repeatedly  made  efforts  to 
be  wisely  funny.  Sackett  could  give  and  take  a 
joke  in  jolly  good  humor,  but  DeKalb  never  could 
tolerate  a  joke  that  turned  on  himself,  yet  he  was 
fond  of  throwing  shafts  of  sarcasm  on  others.  Sack- 
ett was  generally  full  of  glee,  gladness  and  hope ; 
DeKalb  was,  for  the  most  of  his  time,  depressed 
and  lugubrious,  which  he  wished  people  to  take  for 
thoughtfulness  and  piety.  The  one  was  often  ju- 
bilant with  laughter,  the  other  seldom  got  beyond  a 
smirk  and  chuckle  over  his  own  wit.  The  one 
would  amuse  and  beguile  you  with  his  nonsense, 
the  other  would  tire  and  bore  you  with  his  humdrum 
wisdom.  Sackett  found  fault  with  nearly  every- 
body in  the  church  ;  DeKalb  found  fault  with  nearly 
everybody  in  the  church  and  out  too.  Sackett 
would  chew  and  smoke  tobacco,  and  drink  whisky  ; 
DeKalb  did  neither :  DeKalb  belonged  to  Philip's 
church ;  Sackett  was  far  from  it.  DeKalb  was 
painfully  correct  and  moral  in  his  deportment ; 
Sackett  was  merrily  loose,  and  free-and-go-easy  in 
his  manner.  Philip's  judgement  said,  "draw  nigh 
to  DeKalb,"  his  heart  said,  "  I  prefer  Sackett." 


MISCHIEF  BREWING.  347 

And  so  it  went,  he  never  got  over  liking  the  ped- 
ler,  more  than  he  did  the  professor,  and  hence  he 
was  rather  pleased  to  see  his  laughing  face  in  the 
professor's  room. 

While  these  three  were  talking  above  stairs,  Kate 
frequently  looked  out  of  the  lower  windows  to  see 
some  one  go  out  of  the  front  door.  Her  pulse 
quickened  as  she  heard  footsteps  on  the  stairs,  and 
then  she  was  disappointed  and  worried  in  seeing 
DeKalb  cautiously  conducting  his  visitor  out  into 
the  street,  inviting  him  to  call  again,  while  his 
countenance  seemed  to  wish  that  he  would  never 
put  in  another  appearance. 

DeKalb  turned  with  an  air  of  a  school-master, 
who  had  dismissed  a  scholar  from  school,  and  came 
to  the  room  where  Kate  was,  and  in  his  most 
gracious  and  persuasive  style  inquired  of  her : 

"  Where  is  your  mother?" 

Kate  shook  her  head  and  replied  : 

"  I  don't  know."  And  the  manner  in  which  she 
shook  her  head  said  to  him  plainly  :  "  It's  none  of 
your  business." 

DeKalb  was  set  back,  as  if  he  had  lost  some- 
thing, and  was  trying  to  think  where  he  could  find 
it.  He  drew  a  long  breath,  with  a  slight  groan 
at  its  wind  up,  and  set  down  to  the  old  rattling 
piano,  and  drummed  its  keys,  and  looked  toward 
heaven,  as  if  he  was  losing  his  hold  on  earthly 
things,  and  Kate  marched  out  of  the  room. 


348  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER   XXXIX. 

THE    LADY    HYMORE. 

On  the  next  Sabbath,  the  Sunday  School  was  at 
nine  a.  m.  Kate  was  there,  as  teacher,  and  was 
replete  with  blushes  and  gladness  as  she  and  Philip 
shook  hands.  Philip  opened  the  school  for  the 
superintendent,  and  moved  about  among  the  classes, 
to  further  his  acquaintance.  While  DeKalb  was 
giving  instructions  to  his  class,  he  slyly  eyed  Philip 
with  suspicion.  Philip  shook  him  frankly  by  the 
hand,  and  inquired  of  his  well-being,  and  inwardly 
remarked  that  his  .  hand"  was  cold  and  his  man- 
ner slightly  repulsive.  Sackett  sat  upon  a  back  seat, 
and  whiled  away  the  hour  by  keeping  aloof  from  all 
the  services,  and  with  a  jaunty,  patronizing  air  sur- 
veyed the  proceedings.  He  readily  and  heartily 
reciprocated  the  grasp  and  salutations  of  the  young 
preacher,  and  said  that  he  was  glad  to  see  him  again, 
and  that  he  had  not  been  inside  of  a  church  for 
more  than  two  years,  and  that  he  had  come,  at  this 
time,  only  on  Mr.  Force's  account.  Philip  ex- 
pressed his  gratitude  and  thanks ;  and  as  the  school 
was  now  under  full  headway,  he  seated  himself,  by 
apparent  accident,  where  Kate  could  not  see  him, 


THE  LADY  HYMORE.  349 

and  where  he  could  hear  every  word  she  was  say- 
ing to  her  scholars. 

"  What  delicious  melody  in  her  voice  ;  how  nat- 
ural and  graceful  her  movements.  When  she  is 
unable  to  answer  a  question,  she  frankly  and  hon- 
estly says  so ;  no  pretence  of  knowing  more  than 
she  does.  How  she  attracts  the  attention  of  her 
class.  How  clear  her  perceptions,  and  simple  and 
sensible  her  instructions.  Ah  !  hum  ;  I  must  leave 
this  seat.  How  my  thoughts  take  a  foolish  turn. 
I  will  go  close  to  the  pulpit,  and  forget  she  is  here." 
And  he  went,  and  some  might  suppose  that  he  for- 
got her. 

At  ten  and  a  half  a.  m.  he  preached.  Every 
seat  was  filled,  and  every  available  space/  The 
spirit  of  song  did  not  possess  Professor  DeKalb 
that  day  ;  though  generally  he  was  one  of  the  fore- 
most to  sound  out  the  notes  of  praise.  He  al- 
ways had  pencil  and  paper,  to  take  a  synopsis  of 
the  speeches  and  sermons  he  heard.  His  paper 
was  before  him,  and  he  scanned  all  the  gestures  and 
attitudes  of  the  speaker,  and  noted  them ;  and  all 
the  points  of  his  discourse,  and  his  accents  and  in- 
tonations were  severely  observed  and  chronicled. 

The  mood  of  the  cynics  was  on  him.  He  could 
almost  during  the  hours  of  sacred  worship,  have 
slain  him  with  his  pencil.  What  business  had  this 
ecclesiastical  wanderer  coming  between  him  and  the 
beautiful  Kate  ? 


35O  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

Very  little  did  Kate  sing.  Pain  and  pleasure  were 
chasing  each  other  through  her  too  rapidly,  for  any 
well  ordered  consecutive  music.  When  she  came 
to  listen  to  the  sermon,  she  was  all  eyes,  and  ears, 
and  heart ;  but  after  it  was  over,  she  could  not,  for 
the  life  of  her,  tell  where  the  text  was,  nor  what  it 
was  about.  The  thoughts  were  overshadowed  by 
the  speaker.  She  would  look  at  him,  until  her 
whole  world  within  would  swim  in  happy  confusion, 
and  then  she  would  cast  her  eyes  down  and  drum 
with  her  little  feet  on  the  floor,  and  think  about 
thus : 

' '  Did  not  he  walk  with  me  the  other  evening  ? 
How  delightful  that  was.  Did  he  not  come  to  our 
house  to  see  me?  He  tried  to  make  the  pro- 
fessor believe  it  was  him,  that  he  came  to 
see.  The  professor  suspected  that  it  was  / 
that  brought  him  there.  I  know  he  came  on 
my  account.  But,  oh  dear,  what  can  he 
want  with  me?  I  am  poor,  and  know  but  little. 
He  may  be  poor,  but  any  rich  girl  would  like  him  ; 
she  couldn't  help  it.  He's  talented  ;  he's  splendid. 
I  wish  I  could  be  where  he  lives.  I  would  be  wil- 
ling, almost,  to  be  his  servant,  if  I  could  only  be 
near  him  all  the  time,  and  look  at  him,  and  have 
him  talk  to  me,  and  hear  him  talk  to  others.  I 
wish  he  would  board  at  our  house  ;  but  he  wont. 
He's  going  to  stay  at  General  Hymore's,  of  course, 
and  Martha  Hymore  will  try  to  captivate  him. 


THE  LADY  HYMORE.  351 

Well,  I  oughtn't  to  blame  her;  but  I  don't  want 
her  to.  Ah,  me !  The  sermon  is  over.  Rather 
than  be  away  from  him,  I  wish  he'd  preach  all  day. 
How  grand  he  looks ;  what  a  musical  voice.  Oh, 
ho;  I  mustn't  think  of  him.  It  cannot  be,  I  am 
not  much  to  him.  He'll  forget  me.  I  will  try 
and  sing  this  last  hymn." 

Philip  went  to  General  Hymore's  for  dinner.  The 
General  was  a  large  land-owner,  and  lived  in  a  large 
house,  and  made  arrangements  for  the  young 
preacher  to  spend  most  of  his  time,  while  in  town, 
under  his  roof.  He  was  a  hale,  good-natured,  sen- 
sible Christian,  who  enjoyed  the  world,  and  next  to 
his  family,  his  money  and  his  political  party,  he 
loved  the  church,  and  very  much  desired  its  suc- 
cess. 

The  judges  of  such  things  said  his  wife  was  less 
worldly-minded  than  he.  Not  that  she  was  any 
more  attentive  to  church  duties,  but  it  was  her  habit 
to  manifest  more  ecstacy  in  her  spiritual  enjoy- 
ments and  services,  than  did  her  husband. 

Added  to  this,  she,  once  a  month,  or  oftener, 
took  a  severe  style  of  hysterics ;  and  when  she 
started  out  on  one  of  these  " spells"  she  would  call 
in  the  preacher  and  her  intimate  friends  to  see  her 
"die  in  the  triumphs  of  faith, "  as  she  said.  The 
General  was  awfully  alarmed,  when  first,  in  his  mar- 
ried life,  his  wife  had  undertaken  one  of  these  strug- 
gles. The  neighbors  were  fearful,  then,  that  he  would 
25 


352  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

die  himself  with  dread  of  losing  his  dear  spouse. 
But  as  these  threats  to  leave  the  world  grew  into  a 
regular  business,  the  excitement  of  them,  in  a  great 
measure,  died  away,  and  the  General  made  no  more 
of  them,  than  if  somebody's  team  had  run  off  be- 
fore the  door. 

The  good  woman  was  worried  over  the  fact,  that 
these  attempts  at  escaping  from  the  world  had 
ceased  to  frighten  the  General.  For  it  was  a  vast 
comfort  to  her,  to  feel  that  her  friends  were  in  an 
agony  of  concern  lest  she  should  "sweep  through 
the  gates "  every  time  she  made  the  effort.  Two 
or  three  physicians  had  lost  their  business  in  the 
family,  because  they  had,  inconsiderately,  ceased  to 
regard  these  spells  as  the  calls  of  death ;  and  the 
worthy  lady  had  indulged  in  a  "coolness"  toward 
a  preacher  or  two,  who,  having  witnessed  a  number 
of  these  scenes,  had  failed  to  speak  of  them  with 
the  solemnity  that  such  signs  of  final  dissolution 
ought  to  inspire. 

The  Sunday  that  Philip  was  there,  was  the  time 
for  one  of  these  tragedies.  The  dinner  had  just  been 
concluded,  and  the  conversation  was  lively,  and  all 
the  household  were  in  buoyant  spirits,  when,  sud- 
denly, the  lady  Hymore  struck  the  attitude  of  a 
sinking  martyr,  and  gave  out,  in  most  alarming 
symptoms,  that  now  she  was  sure  her  last  day  had 
come. 

Philip  says  that  he  stumbled  over  two  chairs,  and 


THE  LADY  HYMORE.  353 

ran  round  the  table  twice,  and  swung  his  hands 
about  so  that  he  knocked  over  the  pepper  sauce  on 
the  table-cloth,  before  he  fully  comprehended  the 
situation.  Martha,  the  oldest  daughter,  flew  for 
the  hartshorn.  The  General,  with  great  delibera- 
tion and  calmness,  bore  the  sufferer  to  her  bed.  Phil- 
ip, at  the  time,  thought  his  coolness  was  unbecoming 
for  so  grave  and  critical  a  crisis.  As  for  himself, 
he  could  not  have  been  more  alarmed,  if  a  plague 
had  struck  the  woman,  or  if  a  bomb-shell  had  bursted 
under  the  table.  The  victim  was  quick  to  perceive 
Philip's  agitation,  and  for  it  she  at  once  and  forever, 
gave  him  a  high  place  in  her  esteem. 

She  was  shocked,  that  the  General  should  be  so 
slow  in  sending  for  the  doctor,  and  was  utterly  un- 
willing to  agree  with  him,  that  he  and  the  family 
were  equal  to  the  demands  of  the  situation.  The 
doctor  was  soon  there ;  and  all  was  hubbub,  and 
each  was  getting  in  the  other's  way,  in  their  wish 
to  soothe  the  patient,  and  to  minister  to  her  relief. 
The  General  sat  by  her  side,  the  picture  of  com- 
posure and  resignation.  Although  he  had  calmness 
of  manner  habitual  to  him,  he  so  managed  his 
words,  as  to  keep  every  inmate  of  the  room  bustling 
with  commotion ;  for  he  knew  that  the  greater  the 
whirl  and  confusion,  and  the  more  evidences  of  dis- 
tress there  were  in  those  about  her,  the  more  the 
tortured  woman  was  comforted. 

Prayers  were  offered  and  songs  were  sung,  neigh- 


354  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

bors  constantly  thronged  in  and  out,  and  cried  and 
prophesied,  and  looked  as  if  the  demon  of  the 
dreadful  possessed  them  ;  windows  were  hoisted  and 
lowered  every  few  minutes,  doors  were  opened  and 
shut  as  often ;  fires  were  made  to  a  roaring 
heat  and  then  put  out  over  and  over  again  ; 
hot  water  and  cold  were  used  alternately  in 
bathing  her  head  and  face.  Philip  declares 
it  was  one  of  the  most  uproarous  sick  rooms  he 
ever  was  in,  not  excepting  the  one  up  the  country 
at  Dr.  Heatem's. 

After  an  hour  and  half,  of  arduous  excitement, 
the  lady  bid  fair  for  recovery.  In  another  hour  or 
so,  the  spell  was  gone,  and  with  traces  of  languor 
and  exhaustion,  she  was  ready  to  give  praise,  for 
the  privilege  of  being  the  humble  instrument  of 
causing  so  wild  a  disturbance.  She,  however,  con- 
templated her  husband  with  a  spirit  of  prayerful 
and  loving  rebuke,  and  groaned  in  her  heart  over 
his  apparent  lack  of  sensibility. 


MUCH  BOTHER.  355 


CHAPTER  XL. 

MUCH    BOTHER. 

It  was  a  golden  Indian  summer  day..  The  grass 
was  yet  green  upon  the  fields.  The  sun  was  shorn 
of  its  glare.  The  heavens  were  full  of  the  soft, 
smoky  incense  of  gathered  harvests  and  ripened 
fruits.  Hardly  a  breath  disturbed  the  dying  leaves. 

From  the  edge  of  the  river  which  skirted  the 
town,  the  bluff  arose  over  a  hundred  feet  high.  It 
was  so  steep  that  no  one  scarcely  ever  thought  of 
ascending  or  descending  it.  If  for  any  cause  they 
once  went  over  the  top  and  started  down,  there 
was  no  help  for  it  but  to  plunge  into  the  river  at  the 
foot.  From  the  upper  edge  of  this  bluff  the  land, 
for  the  most  part,  spread  out  smooth  and  level 
through  the  town  and  the  precincts  thereof. 

Between  the  town  and  this  bluff  were  the  ' '  com- 
mons." In  times  of  great  rain  the  water  was  not 
satisfied  to  go  to  the  edge  of  the  bluff  and  glide  over 
it  smoothly  and  decently ;  so  it  had  torn  out  the 
sandy  soil  and  made  great  gullies,  where  it  could 
hiss  and  howl  and  roar  as  it  leaped  to  the  river 
below.  Great  freshets  had  a  perverse  desire  to  cut 
up  and  spoil  the  beauty  of  these  "commons"  in 
that  way.  Still  there  were  many  smooth  places 


356  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

with  clumps  of  shade  trees,  with  here  and  there  a 
log  or  slab  seat  underneath.  Here  the  students  of 
the  Seminary  came  for  exercise  and  meditation, 
especially  when  they  were  cherishing  poetical  long- 
ings. And  young  men  who  were  beginners  on  the 
flute,  clarionet,  banjo,  etc.,  if  they  had  any  mercy 
on  other  people,  came  to  these  "commons"  on~ 
fair  days  to  practice.  It  was  a  pleasant  place  in 
pleasant  weather  for  pleasant  people  to  lounge,  loaf, 
recreate  and  lay  around  loose.  Some  unpleasant 
people  went  out  there  to  fight  out  their  vengeance. 
Reading  people  read  there ;  talking  people  came  to 
talk,  and  even  children  were  taken  there  to  cry. 
Philip  went  there,  late  Sunday  afternoon,  for  quiet 
and  composure. 

He  was  in  some  degree  upset  by  the  affair  at  the 
General's,  and  he  needed  what  sunshine  was  left  for 
that  day,  and  he  wanted  to  be  out  on  the  soft  lawn, 
and  to  be  among  the  trees  and  feel  their  genial 
brotherhood,  and  listen  to  and  be  soothed  by  the 
melody  of  the  river  flowing  among  the  rocks.  He 
walked  about  for  some  time,  and  growing  tired  of 
this  exercise,  he  seated  himself  on  one  of  the  rude 
benches,  and  beat  time  with  his  feet  on  the  earth, 
and  knocked  the  dust  off  from  his  pantaloons,  and 
thought,  with  such  listless  indefiniteness,  of  every 
thing  that  interested  him  that  it  amounted  to  think- 
ing of  nothing.  While  his  shapeless  ideas  were 
rummaging  about  within  him,  he  noticed  a  couple 


MUCH  BOTHER.  357 

of  small  children  playing  too  close  to  the  brink  of 
the  bluff  for  their  safety.  He  left  his  seat  and 
started  to  entice  them  to  a  less  dangerous  locality. 
About  the  time  he  was  ready  to  effect  his  purpose, 
the  smaller  child  tumbled,  with  a  scream,  over  the 
edge  of  the  bluff.  He  threw  off  his  coat  and  hat 
and  hurried  to  the  spot,  and  saw  it  rolling  and  yell- 
ing down  the  great  bank  and  drop  into  the  river. 
Philip  stopped  not  to  consider  the  manner  of  his 
going,  but  in  an  instant  he  was  tumbling  after  it 
into  the  water ;  and  with  several  plunges  and'  much 
labor,  and  encountering  quantities  of  mud,  he 
helped  out  the  child,  almost  drowned.  It  was  quite 
bruised,  and  choked  out  of  its  wits.  When  it  fully 
came  to  itself,  its  first  effort  was  to  commence  kick- 
ing and  gouging  its  deliverer.  It  fought  for  freedom, 
and  roared  to  be  let  alone,  and  it  wanted  to  go 
home,  and  yelled  for  its  ma ;  and  judging  from  its 
display  of  wrath,  it  would  have  taken  its  little  oath 
that  Philip  was  the  author  of  all  its  woes.  By 
wading  some  distance  up  the  river  and  taking  a  cir- 
cuitous route,  and  lifting  himself  and  his  burden 
along  by  grasping  the  straggling  bushes,  he  carried 
the  little  rebel  to  the  top  of  the  hill.  It  was  the 
youngest  child  of  Mrs.  Brooks. 

Almost  as  soon  as  Philip  had  drawn  it  from  the 
river,  the  frantic  mother  was  at  the  top  of  the  bluff 
ready  to  plunge  over  after  it.  But  the  cry  of  the 
child  when  it  fell,  and  the  screams  of  the  one  left 


358  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

behind,  drew  a  few  persons  together,  and  they  suc- 
ceeded in  assuring  the  mother  that  the  little  one  was 
safe.  When  it  ran  into  her  arms  she  was  profuse  in 
blessings  upon  Philip  for  saving  the  life  of  her  dar- 
ling Maud.  And  Kate  was  by  her  side,  with  eyes 
full  of  tears  and  gratitude,  and  cheeks  full  of 
blushes,  and  a  heart  full  of  thanks.  Philip  colored 
as  he  looked  at  Kate  and  then  at  his  costume,  and 
thought,  "  Who  so  handsome  as  she?" 

And  he  shook  hands  with  the  mother,  and  kissed 
the  child  he  had  rescued  ;  and  for  the  kiss  got  its 
fist  in  his  eye,  and  it  yelled  again  to  be  let  alone. 
Some  of  the  people  present  said  that  he  shook 
hands  with  Kate  twice,  and  that  he  lingered  over  it 
some ;  and  that  he  was  not  so  hurried  in  taking  his 
departure  as  one  so  uncomfortable  as  he  was,  ought 
in  prudence  to  be.  Be  that  as  it  may,  he  leisurely 
started  for  his  trunk  to  change  his  clothing,  for  it 
was  now  near  preaching  time.  When  once  his  back 
was  turned  upon  the  scene  he  hurried  along,  and 
did  not  heed  the  jests  that  went  up  from  knots  of 
boys  upon  the  streets  over  his  bedraggled  appear- 
ance. As  he  went  he  talked  to  himself: 

"There  it  is  again;  a  touch  of  romance  in  it. 
She'll  make  out  I  saved  her  sister's  life.  Suppose  I 
did?  I  would  have  done  the  same  for  any  other 
person's  sister.  If  it  had  to  be,  I'm  not  sorry  it 
was  Kate's  sister.  Well,  well,  Philip,  this  foolish- 
ness must  stop.  I  must  keep  away  from  her." 


MUCH  BOTHER.  359 

Every  one  he  passed  turned  to  look  at  him  and 
throw  out  some  quizzical  remarks.  And  as  he 
strode  heavily  along,  the  water  gurgling  in  his 
boots  and  dripping  from  head  to  foot,  and  his  dry 
coat  on  his  arm,  and  steadily  looking  on  the  ground, 
he  met  Professor  DeKalb. 

"Your  humble  servant,"  said  the  professor,  with 
a  wise  toss  of  his  head  and  a  sarcastic  giggle.  ' '  Been 
going  through  the  ceremony  of  immersion,  eh  ?  I 
thought  you  were  too  young  in  the  ministry  for 
that." 

"Good  evening,  Professor,  I  am  in  a  hurry," 
said  Philip,  in  a  sulky  tone ;  and  he  was  ten  feet 
away  from  him  before  the  answer  was  ended. 

Kate  was  in  her  place  at  church  that  evening,  her 
eyes  resting  on  the  preacher  with  eagerness  and 
admiration.  That  night  Philip  went  to  bed  sick, 
and  was  worse  in  the  morning.  The  excitement, 
excesses  and  extravagances  had  disturbed  his  nerves 
and  stomach  so  that  he  was  thrown  helpless  and 
suffering  upon  the  kindly  orifices  of  the  Hymore 
family ;  and  they  were  attentive  and  careful  of  his 
comfort. 

Kate  left  the  church  talking  to  herself: 

"  What  is  the  use  of  thinking  about  him  ?  How 
noble  of  him  to  save  dear  Maud's  life.  How  the 
child  fought  him,  the  naughty  thing.  Oh,  I  wish  I 
never  had  seen  him." 

That  ni^ht  she  told  all  to  her  mother. 


360  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"  He  is  a  pleasant  gentleman,  Kate.  No  wonder 
you  should  like  him.  I  like  him  myself,  and  shall 
bless  him  forever  for  what  he  did  for  precious  Maud. 
But  I  would  advise  you,  my  child,  to  keep  away 
from  him.  You  must  try  to  feel  that  he  is  no  more 
to  you  than  any  other  honorable  young  man.  Try 
to  forget  him,  my  child." 

"I'll  never  forget  him,  mother.  He'll  forget  me, 
I  suppose,  but  I'll  love  him  forever.  I  know  I  will. 
I'll  pray  for  him,  and  think  of  him  till  I  die;  and  I 
know  I'll  be  near  him  in  heaven." 

"Well,  well,  child,  you  will  probably  get  over 
all  this.  Hundreds  of  girls  are  unsettled  that 
way  before  they  are  married.  You  must  treat  him 
with  no  more  attention  than  you  treat  others.  If 
his  heart  is  set  on  you,  he  will  be  here  for  you.  I 
know  you  have  too  much  sense  to  make  yourself 
silly  over  him.  Be  content  to  wait  in  patience  for 
events  to  shape  themselves.  Be  a  lady,  Kate,  as  I 
know  you  will.  If  we  are  poor  let  us  maintain  our 
self  respect."  And  the  mother  suggested  in  conclu- 
sion that  it  was  Kate's  duty  to  call  on  Philip,  and 
thank  him  for  what  he  had  done  for  Maud. 

But  the  child's  passion  was  not  abated.  DeKalb, 
with  his  usual  infelicity  of  style,  was  prying  about, 
and  watching  and  praying  for  chances  to  check  the 
fever  that  was  disturbing  him  as  well  as  her.  All 
his  efforts  with  Kate  ended  in  failures.  She  avoided 
him.  He  sought  her ;  she  was  not  to  be  found. 


MUCH  BOTHER.  361 

He  asked  for  her,  and  she  came  not.  She  took  her 
lessons  in  music  from  him,  but  she  had-the  adroitness 
to  make  him  feel  that  it  was  only  music  she  wanted. 
He  sought  an  interview  with  Mrs.  Brooks,  to  con- 
sult with  her  as  to  what  was  best  to  be  done  to 
change  the  current  of  events  and  put  an  end  to 
what  he  called  "this  unfortunate  attachment."  She 
decidedly  and  politely  gave  him  to  understand  that 
he  would  add  to  the  pleasure  of  all  parties  if  he 
would  mind  his  own  business;  that  Kate  was  old 
enough,  and  Mr.  Force  was  his  own  man,  and 
probably  they  were  competent  to  manage  their 
delicate  affairs  without  any  friendly  interference. 

DeKalb  was  now  at  the  height  of  his  disgust. 
Kate  had  avoided  him,  and  was  far  gone  in  her 
preferences  for  Philip,  and  the  mother  was  going  the 
same  way  ;  and  when  two  women  set  their  heads  in 
any  such  case,  what  can  a  poor  ordinary  man  do  ? 

DeKalb,  however,  had  the  German  element  in 
him  and  would  not  be  done.  He  would  go  and  see 
Philip  ;  that  he  would.  Was  not  he  sick  ?  Was  it 
not  his  duty  to  visit  him  ?  Had  he  not  been  his 
teacher  at  the  Wildeden  Academy  ?  Did  he  not 
entertain  for  him  a  high  regard  ?  He  would  not  be 
angry  with  him  at  all.  Oh,  no !  but  he  must  be 
stopped  in  this  matter  with  Kate. 

So  he  came  on  Monday  afternoon,  after  school 
hours.  Philip  would  as  soon  have  seen  a 
raven  perched  in  the  door  transom  at  midnight. 


362  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

But  he  rallied  his  better  nature,  and  with  a  sickly 
cordiality  invited  him  to  be  seated.  No  other  per- 
sons were  in  the  room  at  the  time.  DeKalb  assumed 
the  look  of  a  schoolmaster  who  had  detained  his 
pupil,  after  the  other  scholars  were  dismissed,  to 
settle  a  case  of  violated  law.  He  entered  upon  his 
business  with  energy  and  promptness,  yet  perplexed 
with  doubts  and  fears.  After  making  inquiry  as  to 
the  gravity  of  his  sickness  and  extending  a  few  old- 
time  condolences  and  regrets,  etc. ,  he  said : 

' '  I  wanted  to  speak  to  you,  Brother  Force,  about 
our  young  friend  Kate." 

Philip  twisted  in  the  bed  as  if  an  extra  pain  had 
struck  him,  and  replied,  in  a  gruff  sort  of  way  : 

"  What  do  you  want  to  say  about  her  to  me?" 

' '  Well,  you  see  now,  Brother  Force,  I  am  well 
acquainted  with  the  Brooks  family,  having  lived 
with  them  for  some  time  past ;  and  for  the  last  few 
months  Kate  has  been  one  of  my  scholars,  and  I 
feel  a  great  interest  in  her,  as  I  do  in  all  my  scholars, 
Brother  Force ;  and  as  I  had  known  you  for  some 
time,  I  thought  it  would  not  be  amiss  for  me  to  call 
in  and  see  you,  and  advise  with  you  in  regard  to 
Kate  particularly,"  and  here  he  stopped  to  wipe  his 
face  and  take  a  drink  from  the  pitcher  on  the  table. 

Philip  was  growing  impatient  and  nervous,  for  he 
felt  already  what  the  professor  was  aiming  at,  and 
with  &  hasty,  sulky  voice,  he  said  : 


MUCH  BOTHER.  363 

"I  am  ready,  sir,  to  hear  whatever  you  have  to 
say  about  her.  Have  I  injured  her  in  any  way?" 

' '  No,  sir,  no,  not  exactly  ;  but  there  is  this  fact 
about  you  and  her :  I  am  convinced,  Brother  Force, 
that  it  would  be  judicious  for  you  and  for  her — yes, 
sir,  it  would  be  best  all  round,  that  is  my  opinion, 
if  you  would  not  seek  her  society." 

A  fresh  fire  flushed  over  Philip's  face  as  he  in- 
quired : 

'  Has  my  society  harmed  her,  sir  ?" 

"Well,  no,  that  is  not  it,  but" — 

Here  Philip  broke  in:  "Professor,  who  made 
you  censor  of  my  deportment?  Are  you  Kate's 
guardian  ?  What  business  have  you  to  call  me  in 
question  in  matters  of  this  kind  ?  I  will  be  obliged 
to  you,  sir,  if  you  will  not  meddle  with  my  affairs. 
I  don't  enjoy  it,  sir,  and  will  not  tolerate  it." 

"Don't  be  too  fast,  young  man,  Kate  is  young 
and  inexperienced,  and  I  shall  look  after  her  welfare 
and  not  permit  any  one  to  trifle  with  her  if  I  can 
prevent  it.  You  are  turning  her  head  ;  you  wait 
on  her  at  the  festival ;  you  call  at  her  house  to  see 
me.  Yes,  sir,  I  appreciate  your  kindness,  sir.  It 
was  me  you  called  to  see,  was  it  ?  Very  good ;  I 
know  you.  You  meet  her  by  accident  on  the  com- 
mons ;  the  young  one  falls  over  the  banks  to  give 
you  a  chance  to  set  Kate  and  her  mother  crazy 
with  admiration  of  you,  and  now  you  are  all  the 


364  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

one  they  can  talk  about."  Here  the  professor 
began  to  droop  and  grow  tender,  and  Philip  was 
so  vexed  that  he  was  afraid  to  open  his  mouth  lest 
he  should  speak  unadvisedly.  With  an  added  Ger- 
man brogue,  he  went  on : 

' '  What  for  you  do  all  that  ?  Why  come  you  in 
here  to  break  things  up  so?  I  thought  she  was 
mine  already.  She  was  my  scholar.  I  made  all 
the  world  of  her.  She  seemed  fond  of  me ;  she 
made  the  world  bright.  The  world's  been  very 
black  to  me,  Brother.  She  was  an  angel  to  me  in 
the  darkness  till  you  came  here.  Now  the  world  is 
all  getting  black  again.  What  for  you  want  to  take 
her  from  me?  Don't  do  that,  Brother,  it's  wrong  ; 
I  can't  drive  you  ;  I  beseech  you.  Don't  ruin  me ; 
I  never  harmed  you.  Why  you  harm  me?" 

Over  this  curious  speech  Philip  was  first  vexed, 
then  amused,  and  finally  was  sorry  for  the  fuddled 
professor,  and  so  he  kindly  said : 

"I  do  not  design  to  harm  you.  I  met  her  by 
accident  at  the  festival.  I  dfd  not  know  whose  child 
it  was  till  I  had  taken  it  from  the  water.  I  had  no 
intentions."  Here  another  touch  of  fever  came 
over  Philip's  face.  "I  did  not  seek  to  make  any 
impression  on  her.  She  is  very  attractive,  but  I'll 
— well,  I'll  do  my  duty.  I  will  not  seek  her  society; 
I'll  stay  away  from  her  and  endeavor  not  to  disturb 
you  or  her.  There,  now,  you  have  my  promise, 


MUCH  BOTHER.  365 

Professor.     I  wish  you  prosperity.     Please  dismiss 
the  subject." 

And  they  grew  calm  and  endeavored  to  look 
friendly  on  each  other,  and  DeKalb  bestowed  a 
few  compliments  over  the  talents  of  his  quondam 
pupil,  and  they  shook  hands  and  parted. 


26 


THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER  XLI. 

KATE. 

The  professor  had  barely  time  to  reach  his  own 
quarters  when  Mr.  Celebs  came  in.  He  had  talked 
with  the  doctor,  and  was  assured  by  him,  that 
Philip  would  probably  be  well  in  a  few  days  ;  so  he 
\vas  liberal  with  his  words  of  cheer,  and  Philip  was 
brightened  with  his  generous  sympathy. 

The  door  opened  again,  and  Martha  Hymore 
ushered  Kate  Brooks  into  the  chamber  of  the  sick 
man.  Kate  blushed  and  hesitated,  as  Celebs  gave 
her  a  cordial  greeting,  and  stood  aside,  and  looked 
toward  the  bed,  as  if  to  invite  her  to  come  forward, 
and  speak  to  the  one  she  had  doubtless  come  to  see. 

All  the  town,  by  this  time,  had  heard  of  Philip's 
feat  with  Brooks'  child ;  and  Celebs  in  the  simplic- 
ity of  his  heart  thought  it  very  appropriate  for  Kate 
to  show  a  grateful  regard  for  the  deliverer  of  her 
little  sister.  Philip  reached  out  his  hand  for  her, 
and  she  came  to  his  side,  with  as  much  artless  sim- 
plicity, as  if  he  were  her  brother.  But  her  hand 
was  cold,  and  her  cheeks  had  an  unusual  redness,  all 
of  which,  Philip  artfully  attributed  to  the  chilly  air ; 
and  turning  to  Celebs,  he  requested  him  to  make 
the  stove  hotter,  and  he  said : 


KATE.  367 

' '  Miss  Kate,  you  are  so  chilly ;  take  a  seat  by 
the  stove ;  you  must  feel  cold.  How  is  my  little 
friend,  Maud?" 

"She  is  quite  well,  thank  you  ;  just  as  well  as  if 
she  had  not  fallen  in  the  river  at  all.  I  am  so  sorry, 
Mr.  Force,  that  you  should  be  sick  on  her  ac- 
count ;  going  into  the  water  to  save  her  is  what  has 
brought  this  on  you,"  and  she  still  stood  near  him, 
and  her  eyes  brightened  with  gentleness  and  com- 
passion toward  him ;  and  as  she  turned  to  sit  by 
the  stove,  she  said  :  ' '  Mother  was  sorry  she  couldn't 
come  over  to  see  you  to-day ;  she  and  father  both 
sent  their  best  wishes." 

"Thank  you,  remember  me  to  them,"  said  Philip. 
' '  No,  no,  it  was  not  going  into  the  water  for  the 
child,  that  made  me  sick ;  I  was  half  sick  before  ; 
that  may  have  hurried  matters.  Give  Maud  my 
love ;  I  feel  an  interest  in  her  now." 

"Well,  yes,"  said  Celebs,  "I  should  think  you 
would,  Brother  Force.  The  whole  town  is  talking 
about  you  and  the  child  ;  and  how  quickly  and  skill- 
fully you  conducted  the  performance,  and  how  the 
little  thing  fought  and  kicked  you,  as  soon  as  she 
recovered  life  enough  to  do  it ;  and  how  the  crowd 
had  to  hold  her  mother  and  Kate,  here,  from  turnb-1* 
ling  over  the  bank  after  you  ;  I  wish  I  had  seen  it ; 
it  was  a  mixture  of  the  tragic  and  comic. " 

Here  Celebs  gave  one  of  his  famous  laughs, 
which  fairly  shook  the  Hymore  house.  And  his 


368  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

laugh  was  so  copious  and  overflowing,  that  whether 
you  laughed  at  what  he  said,  or  no,  you  could  not 
help  catching  the  contagion,  for  the  whole  atmos- 
phere seemed  full  of  it,  when  he  was  fairly  under 
way.  So  they  all  laughed,  and  Kate's  eyes  were 
running  over  with  humor  and  goodness. 

Over  and  over  again,  she  had  said,  that  she 
would  keep  away  from  him ;  and  here  she  was 
drinking  in  his  words  and  glances,  and  wishing  she 
were  in  Martha  Hymore's  place,  how  carefully  she 
would  nurse  him. 

About  this  time,  Philip  was  thirsty,  and  the 
pitcher  was  on  the  stand  close  by  Kate's  elbow, 
hence  how  natural  for  him  to  request  her  to  hand 
him  a  drink  of  water.  Even  Celebs  and  Martha 
thought  no  more  of  that,  than  if  they  had  handed 
the  water  themselves. 

Kate  was  almost  thankful  that  Maud  had  fallen 
into  the  river,  for  that  event  had  made  it  so  reason- 
able and  natural  for  her  to  be  near  him,  and  no  one 
to  question,  hinder,  condemn  or  gossip.  She  ought 
to  be  there,  of  course  she  ought,  her  mother  said 
so,  as  the  mother  could  not  come.  It  would  have 
been  uncourteous  and  unfeeling,  would  not  any  right- 
minded  person  say  so,  for  Kate  not  to  come  and 
show  solicitude  for  the  one,  now  sick,  and  to  whom, 
the  whole  Brooks  family  were  under  everlasting  ob- 
ligation. Who  would  object?  no  one;  unless  it 


KATE.  369 

would  be  DeKalb,  and  he  objected  to  nearly  every- 
thing. 

She  laughed  and  talked  with  Celebs,  with  such 
girlish  abandon  and  womanly  grace,  and  her  ques- 
tions and  answers  were  so  frank,  sensible  and  witty, 
that  even  the  preacher  in  charge  seemed  enamored 
of  her.  And  Philip  looked  and  listened,  as  became 
a  sick  man,  and  thought  of  "Apples  of  gold,  in 
pictures  of  silver,"  or  something  like  that. 

"Miss  Kate,"  said  Martha,  "will  you  be  kind 
enough  to  give  Brother  Force  this  powder  ?  Mix  in 
a  tablespoon  half-full  of  water ;  I  hear  a  knock  at 
the  front  door;  I'll  be  back  soon." 

"  I  will  attend  to  it  with  pleasure,"  said  Kate. 

And  so  she  did;  and  there  was  a  renewal  of 
blushes,  as  she  carefully  prepared  the  mixture,  and 
stood  by  his  bed  side,  patiently  waiting  for  him  to 
accept  it  at  her  hands.  Philip  hesitated  and  con- 
sidered, as  all  proper  sick  people  do,  when  thus 
confronted ;  and  he  looked  at  the  giver,  and  then  at 
the  gift,  and  thought  of  the  eternity  of  difference 
in  his  feelings  toward  them ;  and  thought  the  wise 
man  was  mistaken,  who  said  that,  "The  counte- 
nance of  a  friend  doeth  good  like  a  medicine  ;  ''  it 
wasn't  like  that  at  all,  to  him.  He  raised  himself 
from  his  pillow,  and  Kate  stood  close  by  his  side  ; 
but  there  was  the  promise  to  DeKalb.  "  Blessed 
is  he  that  overcometh ; "  (himself,  I  suppose,)  and 
he  emptied  the  spoon  and  remarked : 


37O  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"You  are  very  kind,  Miss  Kate,"  and  she 
smoothed  his  pillow,  and  her  heart  beat  with  anx- 
iety. 

"Brother  Force,"  said  Celebs,  rising,  "I  am 
glad  to  see  that  your  case  is  so  hopeful ;  the  doctor 
speaks  encouragingly  ;  I  think,  in  a  few  days  you 
will  be  all  right  again." 

Here  Martha  and  General  Hymore  made  their 
appearance.  After  the  salutations  and  regrets,  at 
having  to  leave  so  soon,  Kate  and  Celebs  left,  and 
talked  to  each  other  all  the  way  to  the  door  of  the 
Inn. 

DeKalb  still  had  hopes.  Kate  in  the  goodness 
of  her  heart  was  sorry  for  him,  as  she  witnessed  his 
plans  and  maneuvers  to  force  her  to  an  interview 
with  him.  At  last  her  pity  was  overcome ;  he 
looked  so  wo-begone ;  how  could  she  help  sympa- 
thizing with  the  poor  man.  So,  one  day,  after  her 
aversion  and  kindliness  had  had  a  great  struggle, 
she  sat  down  beside  him. 

His  first  statement  was  to  say,  that  a  few  days 
before  he  had  had  an  interview  with  Philip.  She 
did  not  tell  him  that  she  had  been  there  after  his 
visit. 

' '  I  saw  Mr.  Force  a  couple  of  days  ago,  and  we 
had  a  conversation  about  you,  Kate." 

In  a  moment  Kate's  fire  was  up,  and  she  desired 
to  know  why  he  had  made  so  free,  as  to  make  her 
the  subject  of  remark. 


KATE.  37 1 

"But  Kate,  don't,  don't  draw  away  from  me 
that  way  ;  I  felt  that  I  must  talk  to  him  about  you. 
I  saw  he  was  leading  you  away ;  of  course  he  did 
not  intend  to  mislead  you."  The  storm  was  gather- 
ing on  her  brow.  "  But,"  the  professor  went  on, 
' '  you  know  I  was  fond  of  you,  Kate,  and  you  were 
very  kind  to  me,  till  this  young  man  came  here." 

The  coming  storm  began  to  flash. 

"  I  beg  your  pardon,  Profesor,  I  don't  wish  to 
hear  anything  more  from  you  on  that  subject.  If 
you  do" — 

"Wait  a  leetle,  Kate."  He  was  so  excited  that 
the  German  accent  began  to  show  itself.  "Don't 
be  so  hasty,  already,  again.  Mr.  Force  is  a  very 
worthy  Christian  gentleman.  I  was  hees  teacher 
for  some  dime  at  the  Wildeden  Academy,  yes,  yes. 
He  told  me  that  he  would  endeavor  not  to  see  you 
any  more,  and  that  his  intentions  Were  not  serious. 
So  you  see,  Kate,"  and  he  drew  a  little  closer  to 
her,  and  she  pulled  away,  ' '  you  see,  Kate,  it  would 
be  best,  all  de  time,  for  you  and  him  to  keep  oud 
of  each  other's  societee  as  much  as  possible.  It 
would  be  oud  of  the  question  for  him  to  marry,  at 
present.  He  haas  his  own  way  to  make  in  the 
work,  and  years  must  pass  before  he  dinks  of  mar- 
riage." 

The  coming  storm  was  here  with  flash  and  than- 
der. 

"Professor    DeKalb,    I    would   be   very    much 


372  THE  Two   CIRCUITS. 

obliged  to  you,  sir,  if  you  would  never  make  me 
the  subject  of  your  remarks  again.  Who  has  said 
anything  about  marriage  ?  How  dare  you  talk  in 
that  way  about  me  ?  When  I  wish  your  counsel 
about  marriage  I'll  call  on  you.  As  for  Mr.  Force, 
I  shall  always  esteem  him.  He  is  not  so  great  a 
fool,  as  to  suppose  that  every  girl  who  is  friendly  to 
him,  wants  to  be  his  wife  ;  and  if  I  ever  hear  of 
your  making  free  with  my  name  in  connection  with 
his,  I'll  never  speak  to  you  again,  our  friendship 
will  end  ;  "  and  with  a  look  of  defiance  and  chagrin, 
she  marched  out,  and  ran  to  her  room,  and  cried 
for  an  hour,  and  spoke  but  little  to  any  one  during 
the  day. 


BLOOD  AND  DRINK.  373 


CHAPTER  XLII. 

BLOOD     AND     DRINK. 

The  doctor  had  ended  his  visits,  and  Philip  rap- 
idly recovered.  Sleeping,  eating,  talking  and  being 
talked  to  were  his  principal  occupations.  If  I  were 
called  upon  to  decide  in  which  of  these  exercises  he 
showed  the  most  devotion,  I  would  say  from  all  the 
accounts  that  have  come  to  me  that  it  was  in  eating. 
Had  he  hungered  after  righteousness  with  so  mar- 
velous an  eagerness  as  he  did  for  food,  he  would 
have  been  one  of  the  brightest  examples  of  piety 
in  the  catalogue  of  saints.  His  appetite  was  un- 
bounded ;  in  fact  he  was  so  ashamed  of  it  that  he 
stopped  hungry  at  every  meal  lest  others  should  be 
disgusted  with  his  voracity.  As  each  table  was 
cleared  away  he  eyed  the  departing  luxuries  with  as 
sad  a  longing  as  if  his  dearest  friends  were  about  to 
leave  him. 

Mrs.  Hymore  was  firm  in  the  belief  that  there 
was  vast  healing  virtue  in  delicate  diet  and  ab- 
stinence. She  was  among  the  old  saints  that 
believed  in  fasting.  But  in  Philip's  opinion  this  was 
hardly  an  appropriate  time  for  him  to  try  the  value 
of  this  religious  duty.  And  as  he  could  not  be 
brought  to  check  himself,  Mrs.  Hymore,  in  her1 


374  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

kindness,  made  for  his  special  convalescence  a  great 
variety  of  gruel,  soups,  weak  custards,  Graham 
bread,  rye  mush,  and  preparations  of  milk  and  rice. 
Out  of  respect  for  her  goodness  he  consumed  far 
more  of  these  thin  compounds  than  he  cared  for, 
and  usually  wound  up,  by  keeping  company  with 
the  General,  in  partaking  liberally  of  hog's  jole  and 
beans,  solid  bread  and  roast  beef.  The  worthy 
woman  was  sure  that  Philip  would  have  an  awful 
relapse  if  he  were  so  careless  in  his  eating.  But  no 
relapse  came. 

One  evening  when  Dr.  Wallace  was  away  on  pro- 
fessional business,  Philip  was  with  Bob  Scates  in  his 
room.  At  night  they  went  to  prayer  meeting 
together.  As  they  were  returning  to  their  apart- 
ments they  came  across  three  rough  men,  who  were 
engaged  in  a  furious  quarrel.  It  was  quite  dark, 
and  the  air  was  full  of  mist  and  smoke.  At  first 
they  thought  to  pass  aro.und  unobserved,  and  have 
nothing  to  do  with  the  affray.  It  appeared,  how- 
ever, from  the  clamor  of  voices  that  one  of  the  men 
was  being  fiercely  set  upon  by  the  other  two,  and 
was  struggling  to  a  disadvantage.  The  blows  fell 
heavy  and  fast,  and  there  were  gutteral  roars  as  if 
he  was  being  choked. 

"  Hold  on  there !  ye're  too  much  for  me.  Great 
thunder!  ye're  grinding  the  breath  out  o'  me! 
Blood  and  fury  !  Get  off  there !  " 


BLOOD  AND  DRINK.  375 

Whereupon  Bob  and  Philip  instinctively  rushed 
in.  Bob  was  powerfully  built,  and  Philip  was  wiry 
and  active.  With  one  blow  Bob  knocked  the  most 
triumphant  of  the  party  to  the  earth.  Philip  pulled 
at  the  man  who  was  mauling  the  one  that  was  down, 
and  was  about  being  kicked  for  his  pains  when 
another  blow  from  Bob  shortened  his  breath  and 
altered  his  purpose,  so  that  he  let  go  his  victim  and 
sped  away  after  the  one  that  had  fled. 

The  fellow  they  had  been  beating  was  hardly  able 
to  stand  after  Philip  and  Bob  had  lifted  him  up, 
and  they  had  almost  to  carry  him  along.  He  gave 
such  an  incoherent  account  of  his  home  and  busi- 
ness that  they  knew  not  where  to  take  him,  so  they 
led  him  staggering  and  maudlin  to  their  own 
quarters.  With  considerable  labor  they  dragged 
him  up  the  steep  stairs  and  laid  him  on  the  floor, 
and  brushed  his  torn  clothing,  and  washed  the  blood 
from  his  face  and  neck,  and  put  him  in  Bob's  bed. 
The  sickness  of  drunkenness  soon  came  on  him, 
with  its  usual  unpleasant  results. 

Bob  discovered  that  he  was  a  young  man  he  had 
known  a  few  years  before  up  in  the  country,  who 
had  become  so  reckless  and  dissipated  that  his 
friends  and  kin  had  well  nigh  abandoned  him,  and 
given  him  over  as  a  moral  ruin.  He  was  not  totally 
lacking  in  the  better  qualities  of  humanity,  but  he 
treated  with  contempt  the  repeated  efforts  of  his 
friends  to  reclaim  him. 


376  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

As  soon  as  his  brain  was  sufficiently  cleared  for 
him  to  know  where  he  was,  and  how  he  came  there, 
he  wanted  to  leave.  He  made  two  or  three  efforts 
to  rush  through  the  door,  and  as  they  foiled  him  in 
this,  he  tried  to  jump  out  of  the  window.  He  would 
set  on  the  floor  one  minute,  and  in  another  would 
droop  over  on  a  chair,  and  in  another  would  roll 
up  like  a  bundle  of  rags  on  the  bed. 

He  begged  for  whiskey,  and  requested  Bob  to 
hand  him  his  coat ;  when  he  drew  out  the  bottle 
from  the  side  pocket  he  brightened,  and  exclaimed : 

"Thunder  and  bugs!  I  thought  them  chaps 
would  a'  broke  it  mauling  'round  so  over  me,"  and 
he  flourished  the  flask  as  if  he  had  found  a  purse  of 
gold. 

They  allowed  him  to  drink,  and  when  he  laid  the 
bottle  down  and  his  eyes  were  turned,  they  slipped 
it  away  and  hid  it.  When  he  raved  and  clamored 
for  more  they  dealt  it  out  to  him  in  small  quanti- 
ties. 

The  well  was  in  the  back  yard,  and  Philip  started 
there  for  a  fresh  supply  of  water.  As  he  opened 
the  door  at  the  top  of  the  stairs,  the  light  from  the 
room  shone  down  to  the  ground ;  and  he  saw  some 
one  dodge  from  the  lower  door  out,  and  make  rapid 
steps  across  the  lot  at  the  back  part  of  the  house. 
When  Philip  reached  the  door  at  the  foot  of  the 
stairs,  he  heard  some  one  leap  the  fence  and  make 
off  along  the  street.  The  darkness  and  mist  were 


BLOOD  AND  DRINK.  377 

almost  oppressive  ;  and  Philip  moved  the  pump- 
handle  with  great  activity,  and  the  old  sucker 
wheezed  and  gurgled  like  a  wind-broken  horse  ;  and 
the  water  was  a  long  time  coming,  and  it  came  only 
in  little  spurts  when  it  did  come ;  all  of  which 
afforded  the  operator  an  opportunity  for  the  exercise 
of  the  virtue,  patience.  While  Philip  was  thus 
heaving  and  pumping  and  sucking  away  till  he  was 
all  of  a  sweat,  and  every  minute  was  expecting 
some  one  to  come  up  behind  him,  and  knock  him 
in  the  head,  Bob  was  vainly  trying  to  find  out 
from  the  drunken  man  the  cause  of  the  fight,  and 
who  were  the  persons  engaged  in  it. 

"You  know,  Bob,  ye're  not  to  tell  tales  out  o' 
school.  I  drunk  with  them  fellers,  I  tell  ye  that 
much ;  and  seein'  it's  you,  Bob,  I  tell  ye,  they  tried 
to  get  me  to  go  with  'em  on  a  devil  of  a  scrape  ;  but 
I  wasn't  in.  I  wasn't  goin'  to  poke  my  foot  in  a 
trap  if  I  knew  it,  not  if  I  know  the  trap  was  about 
there,  Bob.  If  it  suits  your  idee  I'll  take  a  little 
more  o'  that  blessedness,  Bob."  Bob  gave  him  a 
few  spoonsful.  "  Who's  that  chap  with  you, 
Bob  ?  Force,  eh  ?  Force,  did  you  say  ?  What 
Force?  What's  he  do?  Where's  he  live?  A 
preacher !  !  Whoop  !  Great  gosh  !  I'd  like  to 
know  what  the  devil  you're  doin'  with  a  preacher, 
Bob?  Is  he  runnin'  you,  or  you  runnin'  him, 
which,  eh  ?  Somethin's  right  or  somethin's  wrong, 
Bob.  If  he's  runnin'  you,  it  may  be,  perhaps, 


378  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

right ;  if  you're  runnin'  him,  there's  some  devilment 
up,  sure.  He  looks  too  gol-durned  good-natured  to 
be  a  regular  gospeller.  Are  you  a-foolin',  Bob? 
Oh,  ho  !  he's  your  friend,  eh  ?  Boys  together  ? 
Wasn't  ?  Come  on  him  lately  ?  Goin'  to  school  ? 
Good  idee,  Bob ;  go  it.  I  thought  you'd  go  to  the 
devil ;  but  when  a  feller's  goin'  to  the  devil  he  don't 
go  to  school  much  of  his  own  free  will  and  accord. 
Look  at  me,  for  instance.  Hand  us  a  little  more 
of  the  true  blessedness,  Bob,  before  the  preacher 
comes  up.  Think  I'm  takin'  too  much,  eh  ?  Just 
give  us  a  spoonful  or  two.  There,  that's  superb. 
Don't  take  any  ?  Humph  !  I  thought  the  bottle 
held  out  well  and  you  about.  Done  takin'  whiskey, 
ye  say  ?  Goin'  to  school  ?  Preacher  in  the  same 
room  with  ye  ?  Well,  well,  great  Jehu  !  Heaven 
and  hell's  not  far  apart,  some  say." 

Just  then  Philip  came  in,  and  set  the  bucket  on 
one  end  of  an  old  bench  and  set  himself  beside  it. 
And  the  toper  was  quiet,  and  Bob,  leaning  back  in 
his  chair,  introduced  the  preacher  to  Joseph  Stoker. 

"  Glad  to  see  you,  Mr.  Stoker,"  said  Philip,  rising 
and  shaking  him  by  the  hand.  "  Don't  get  up." 

"Well,"  said  Jo,  looking  at  the  ceiling  as  he  lay 
on  the  bed,  "  guess  I  orto  be  glad  to  see  you,  Mr. 
Force,  for  I  might  o'  had  the  bones  smashed  out  o' 
me  if  it  hadn't  been  for  you  and  Bob.  But  look 
o'  here,  Mr.  Force,  I'm  not  fit  company  for  a 
preacher,  and  layin'  on  this  bed  too.  Thankin'  ye 


BLOOD  AND  DRINK.  379 

for  yer  kindness,  both  o'  ye,  I'll  get  out  o'  here, 
with  your  leaves." 

"Oh,  no,  sir,"  said  Philip,  "you'll  stay  with  us 
all  night.  I  don't  think  it  safe  for  you  to  go  from 
here  till  morning.  If  I  am  not  mistaken,  I  saw,  as 
I  went  to  the  pump,  one  of  the  men  lurking  about 
the  door  below  that  we  found  beating  you." 

"Crotch-all-bedlam!  Mr.  Force,  d'ye  think  so  ? 
Bob,  hand  me  my  coat;"  and  from  its  pockets  he 
drew  a  rusty,  double-barreled  pistol,  and  went  on 
remarking,  in  a  defiant,  swaggering  way:  "If  I'd 
a'  had  this  thing  loaded  one  or  more  o'  them  fellers 
would  a'  lurked  in  the  graveyard.  But,  ye  see,  I 
didn't  think  o'  their  coming  on  me  so  sudden." 

From  another  pocket  he  brought  out  a  flask  of 
powder  and  some  bullets,  and  in  a  shuffling  way 
began  to  load  the  weapon.  Bob  went  up  to  him  in 
a  kindly,  insinuating  manner  and  took  hold  of  the 
pistol,  and  said,  decidedly : 

"  Jo,  we'll  not  load  the  old  concern  here  to-night ; 
wait  till  morning.  We'll  lock  the  door,  and  no  one 
shall  molest  you  till  day-light.  Lay  down,  and 
we'll  take  care  of  the  pistol, "  and  Bob  put  it  in  his 
own  pocket. 

Jo  looked  sullen  and  subdued,  and  muttered : 
"  Mebby  ye're  right,  Bob;  but  them  fellers  are 
hell-bent,  and  I'd  like  to  stop  'em  with  cold  lead, 
and  pay  'em  for  the  way  they've  served  me." 

'  'They  will  get  their  pay,  Mr.  Stoker,  without  your 


380  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

help,"  said  Philip.  "What  men  sow  they  will 
reap.  You  had  better  keep  away  from  them  and 
shape  your  future  on  another  track.  The  Great 
Father  above  will  look  after  them." 

Jo  struck  his  elbow  in  the  pillow  and  propped  the 
side  of  his  face  with  his  hand,  and  inquired : 

"  How  d'ye  think  He'll  work 'em,  Mr.  Preacher?" 

"  I  do  not  know,  Mr.  Stoker  ;  but  if  a  man  sows 
the  seeds  of  violence  and  blood,  he  is  very  sure  to 
reap  that  kind  of  a  crop." 

"  Bnt,  seems  to  me,  there's  a  heap  o'  good  fellers 
reaped  blood  that  didn't  sow  it,  from  Abel  clean  on 
down.  How's  that,  Mr.  Preacher?"  And  Jo  gave 
a  side  wink  at  Bob  as  if  he  thought  the  preacher 
was  cornered. 

"It  is  true,"  said  Philip,  "that  peaceable  men 
have  often  suffered  at  the  hands  of  ruffians ;  but 
the  Great  Law  Maker  will  see  that  they  shall  not 
escape  the  penalty.  Even  Cain  said  his  punish- 
ment was  greater  than  he  could  bear;  and  if  he 
had  managed  to  avoid  it  here,  it  would  have  come 
on  him  in  the  other  world.  The  crop  must  be 
reaped  in  kind." 

' '  What's  the  use  of  a  man  repenting,  then,  if 
he's  got  to  catch  it  any  how  ?  "  And  Jo  gave  Bob 
another  wink. 

"Repentance,  I  think,"  said  Philip,  "when 
genuine  brings  divine  forgiveness,  but  does  not  alto- 
gether change  natural  results.  Repentance  brings 


BLOOD  AND  DRINK.  381 

us  under  the  divine  care  and  culture,  so  that  we 
may  be  trained  and  disciplined  as  ultimately  to  be 
free  from  all  unpleasant  results  that  would  otherwise 
come  upon  us.  If  a  man  heartily  turns  from  all 
evil  ways,  wishes  and  tastes,  and  believes  what 
Christ  says,  so  as  constantly  to  aim  to  do  as  He  tells 
him,  and  has  so  much  faith  in  His  way  of  thinking, 
feeling  and  acting  as  to  try  at  all  times  to  be  like 
Him  in  temper,  aims  and  disposition,  he  will,  some 
time  in  his  history,  become  entirely  free  from  all  the 
injurious  consequences  of  his  sins,  however  great 
and  many  they  may  be." 

Jo  by  this  time  was  setting  up  in  the  bed,  and 
looking  Philip  straight  in  the  face  as  if  fresh  light 
was  coming  into  him,  and  he  remarked,  as  if  pon- 
dering his  own  case  : 

' '  That's  the  way  of  it,  is  it  ?  Bob,  that  sounds 
like  sensible  preaching,  eh?  Now  look  here,  Mr. 
Force,  d'ye  think  there'd  be  any  chance  for  a  feller 
as  bad  as  I  am  ?  " 

"Certainly  I  do,''  said  Philip.  "There  is  as 
much  chance  for  you  as  for  any  man  in  your  situa- 
tion. The  only  difficulty  about  it  is  in  placing 
yourself  where  God  can  work  on  you,  and  hold 
yourself  there.  He  can  do  nothing  for  a  man's 
renovation  who  holds  away  from  Him.  As  long  as 
you  allow  evil  associations,  appetites  and  tempers 
to  control  you,  you  cannot  but  see  that  good  forces 
have  no  chance  on  you.  A  man  must  resist  the 
27 


382  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

evil  and  cleave  to  the  good  and  ask  divine  help,  and 
the  Great  Spirit  will  bring  him  out  all  right." 

"Well,  I  take  that  to  mean,  Mr.  Force,  that  if 
I  don't  quit  drinking  and  swearing  and  acting  the 
fool,  I'll  go  to  the  devil."  And  Jo  looked  down 
between  his  feet  toward  the  floor.  "Shouldn't 
wonder  if  you're  right,  Mr.  Force.  But  it's  a 
bigger  job  than  you  think.  It's  no  left-handed 
business  to  quit  off  all  at  once ;  and  it's  wuss  and 
tougher  to  pitch  in  and  work  the  other  way.  I'd 
have  to  work  all  day  steady,  and  pray  all  night,  to 
keep  the  devil  away ;  and  all  my  old  chums  would 
be  pulling  and  hauling  and  making  fun  o'  me  ;  and 
it  looks  like  it  would  take  a  quart  o'  whiskey  a  day 
to  keep  up  my  resolution.  And  you  think  the 
Lord's  opposed  to  whiskey  ? '' 

' '  I  think, "  said  Philip,  ' '  that  every  sensible  man 
ought  to  be  opposed  to  it." 

"Guess  he  ought,"  said  Jo;  "but  then,  Mr. 
Force,  it's  easier  to  see  right  than  to  do  right.  But 
I'll  not  bore  you  and  Bob  any  more;  you've  been 
very  kind,  and  I'm  very  much  obliged  to  you.  I've 
kept  you  up  too  late ;  I  think  I  ought  to  go. 
Won't  let  me  go,  eh  ?  "  And  Jo  sprung  from  the 
bed  and  began  to  look  for  his  coat  and  vest ;  and 
it  was  with  difficulty  that  they  persuaded  him  to  be 
quiet,  for  they  would  on  no  account  allow  him  to  go 
out  before  morning.  He  persisted,  however,  in 


BLOOD  AND  DRINK.  383 

sleeping  on  the  floor,  for  there  was  but  one  bed  in 
the  apartments.  So  Philip  swept  up  one  corner  of 
the  room,  and  spread  down  a  couple  of  quilts  and 
a  pillow,  and  begged  that  Jo  would  compose 
himself  thereon,  and  have  a  refreshing  night's 
rest. 


384  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER   XLIII. 

THE   AFFAIR    AT   SIGHGOLD'S. 

It  was  after  midnight,  and  all  parties  were  lapsing 
into  sleep,  and  Stoker  was  in  the  fullness  of  his 
snoring  power ;  when  Philip  roused  Bob  with  a 
shake  and  a  whisper,  saying  : 

"  I  hear  some  one  trying  to  open  the  door." 

They  both  crept  softly  out  to  the  floor  and  lis- 
tened, and  there  were  low  voices  outside,  and  some- 
one working  at  the  lock.  The  moment  Philip  and 
Bob  stepped  from  the  bed,  Stoker  awoke  and  took 
in  the  situation,  and  whispered  to  Bob  to  load  the 
pistol.  Bob  did  it,  and  told  Philip  to  get  the  doc- 
tor's gun,  and  have  it  ready  for  use ;  Stoker  was 
given  the  hatchet.  Philip  went  close  to  the  door 
where  the  outsiders  were  tinkering  at  the  latch,  and 
inquired : 

"Who's  there?" 

"A  friend,"  from  a  voice  without. 

"What  will  you  have?"  said  Philip. 

"Great  Golly!"  said  Jo,  in  a  whisper  to  Bob, 
"that's  one  o'  them  chaps,  let's  let  'em  in  ;  we  can 
knock  the  fillin'  out  of  'em." 

"I  want  Doctor  Wallace;  Mr.  Spigall's  child  is 


THE  AFFAIR  AT  SIGHGOLD'S.  385 

very  sick,  and  he  wants  the  Doctor  to  come  over 
and  see  it,  immediately,"  said  the  voice  without. 

Jo  crept  to  Philip's  ear,  and  whispered : 

"Don't  be  fooled  with  'em;  them's  the  fellers 
that  had  the  fuss  with  me  ;  let  'em  come  if  you 
want  to,  we  can  jerk  'em." 

"The  doctor  is  not  in  to-night,"  said  Philip,  "I 
will  tell  him  as  soon  as  he  returns,  which  will  not 
be  before  morning." 

"Be  kind  enough  to  let  me  in,  as  I  am  cold," 
said  the  one  without. 

"  What  is  the  name,  sir?"  inquired  Philip. 

"My  name  is  Atkins,"  said  the  voice  without; 
"  I  am  a  near  neighbor  of  Spigall's  and  would  like 
to  get  warm." 

"  Mr.  Force,  that's  a  lie,  don't  let  'em  impose 
on  you,  let  'em  in  if  ye  want  to,  I'd  like  no  better 
fun  than  to  have  'em  stretched ;  we  three  can  do  it ; 
but  that  feller's  voice  can't  fool  me,7'  said  Jo,  in  a 
whisper. 

Philip  did  not  appear  to  notice  Jo's  suggestions, 
except  to  be  admonished  by  them,  and  he  addressed 
himself  to  the  person  without : 

"  I  am  not  acquainted  with  you,  sir ;  I  cannot  let 
a  stranger  in  this  time  of  night." 

"Well,  you're  blamed  stingy  with  your  rotten  old 
room  and  fire ;  you  can  go  to  hell,  and  I'll  go  for 
another  doctor;  "  and  the  party  left. 

Philip  turned  to  Jo,  and  asked : 


386  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"What  does  all  this  mean  ?  They  are  after  you.  " 

"  Of  course  they  are;  I'll  have  trouble,"  said 
Jo,  "with  them  cusses  yet.  But  I'll  be  ready  for 
'em  next  time,  unless  they  steal  a  march  on  me. 
They  wanted  to  get  me  into  an  infernal  job,  with 
'em,  and  they're  afraid  I'll  blow  on  'em.  But  I 
wont.  I  always  did  despise  a  tell-tale.  But  they 
can't  get  my  foot  in  a  trap,  that  is  if  I  see  the  trap. 
I  drunk  with  'em,  but  I'm  not  a  going  to  be  a  vil- 
lain with  'em.  Ye  see,  boys,  they're  wuss  'an  I 
took  'em  for.  I'll  shake  the  dogs  off,  or  get  busted 
tryin'.  How  do  you  think  I  can  best  do  it,  boys?" 

' '  Is  the  mischief  they  are  plotting  serious  and 
criminal?"  inquired  Philip;  who  began  to  suppose 
there  was  something  more  than  a  simple  spree  on 
foot. 

' '  Serious  ?  you  bet  it  is,  Mr.  Force  ;  but  I  think 
they'll  give  it  up,  for  fear  I'll  blow  on  'em ;  if  they 
don't  you'll  hear  it  thunder,  not  far  from  here,  be- 
fore many  days." 

"If  they  are  planning  injury  to  some  one,  it  is 
your  duty  to  give  the  necessary  warning,  if  by  so 
doing  you  can  protect  the  life  and  property  of  an  in- 
nocent party;"  and  Philip  looked  at  Jo  with  curi- 
osity and  earnestness. 

"Now,  Preacher,"  said  Jo,  "honest  Injun,  would 
that  be  righteous ;  when  a  mean  feller  supposes 
you're  as  mean  as  he  is,  and  trusts  you  with  some 
secret  devilment,  would  it  be  the  clean  thing,  to  let 


THE  AFFAIR  AT  SIGHGOLD'S.  387 

the  cat  out  o'  the  bag,  and  get  him  into  a  hell  of  a 
muss?" 

"I  certainly  think,"  said  Philip,  warming  up  with 
the  case,  ' '  if  they  are  designing  some  act  of  cruelty 
and  wrong,  it  is  your  duty  to  stop  them ;  what  do 
you  think  of  it,  Bob?" 

"I  am  of  your  opinion,"  said  Bob,  "all  the 
time. "  And  Bob  stirred  the  flaming  coals  in  the 
stove  with  the  poker,  and  kicked  a  rickety  chair  by 
his  side,  and  went  on  :  "  Now,  Jo,  out  with  it." 

"  Gollopolis!  I  shan't  do  it.  But  I'll  say  this: 
you'd  better  see  old  Sighgold,  and  tell  him  to  put 
his  money  in  another  place,  and  go  pretty  well 
armed  for  a  while,  so  he  can  defend  himself;  and 
he'd  better  get  some  trusty  man  to  sleep  in  the 
house  with  him.  That's  all  I've  got  to  say,  on  it. 
If  you  say  so,  I'll  go  and  see  the  old  feller  to-night, 
yet;  for  what's  done,  had  best  be  done  quick." 

"Do  you  think,  Jo,"  said  Bob,  "that  they'll 
be  after  him  before  morning  eh,  ?" 

"He'd  be  surer  off,  with  a  little  warnin',  instan- 
ter,  that's  my  judgment,"  said  Jo. 

"  Now,  Mr.  Stoker,  we  don't  want  you  to  leave 
here  to-night,  you  are  too  feeble,"  said  Philip, 
"and  if  Bob  is  willing,  we  will  go  over  to  Sighgold 's 
at  once,  and  tell  him  what  you  say,  not  using  any 
names." 

"  Go  ahead,  I've  got  no  more  to  say,"  said  Jo. 


388  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"  I  am  ready,"  said  Bob,  rising  quickly  to  his 
feet. 

'Til  take  the  gun,"  said  Philip,  "and  you  the 
pistols,  and  I'll  put  the  hatchet  in  my  pocket,  for 
that  is  better  than  fire-arms  if  we  fall  into  close 
quarters  ;  and  Mr.  Stoker,  please  to  stay  till  we  come 
back,  and  keep  the  door  locked."  And  away  they 
went.  At  the  foot  of  the  stairs,  Philip  thought  of 
the  ax  behind  the  lower  door,  and  ran  back  up  the 
stairs  with  it,  and  said : 

"Here,  Jo,  if  those  men  come  back  to  disturb 
you,  the  ax  may  be  needed." 

"Well,  yes,  that  might  help  to  coax  'em  some," 
Jo  replied,  walking  the  floor  restlessly. 

Philip  and  Bob  stopped  by  the  way,  and  awoke 
Mr.  Mock,  the  constable,  who  took  with  him  his 
brother,  and  all  four  hurried  on  toward  Sighgold's, 
who  lived  on  a  farm,  a  mile  and  a  half  from  Double- 
town. 

They  had  not  gone  more  than  three  minutes, 
before  Jo  Stoker  drew  on  his  coat,  weak  as  he 
was,  and  took  the  ax,  and  started  after  them, 
taking  a  near  cut  across  the  fields. 

Sighgold  lived  in  the  edge  of  the  woods,  in  an 
old  two-story  frame  house,  enshrouded  with  trees. 
As  the  four  men  approached,  they  thought  they 
saw  occasional  glimpses  of  light  from  the  old  win- 
dows. Jo  was  there  before  them,  but  did  not  let 
them  know  it. 


THE  AFFAIR  AT  SIGHGOLD'S.  389 

As  Philip  and  his  company  were  coming  over  the 
tence,  in  front  of  the  house,  they  saw  by  the  feeble 
light  from  within,  two  men  come  out  of  the  door ; 
one  of  them  had  a  dark-lantern  and  a  pistol,  and 
the  one  close  behind  him  having  a  bundle  or  box 
under  his  arm,  and  as  he  stepped  over  the  thresh- 
old, he  fell,  and  the  box  dropped,  and  his  com- 
panion turning  around  cursed  him,  and  wanted  to 
know  what  he  was  blundering  about.  But  he  had 
no  time  for  parleying,  for  the  four  men  were  push- 
ing upon  him,  and  after  sweeping  his  hand  around 
for  the  fallen  box,  he  rushed  off  into  the  thicket  to 
save  himself. 

Philip  and  his  party  hurried  to  the  door,  and 
stumbled  upon  the  man,  who  was  now  struggling 
to  rise,  and  who  was  muttering  curses  over  his  luck. 
Bob  and  Mock,  the  constable,  laid  hold  of  him, 
and  dragged  him  with  them  into  the  house. 

The  coals  were  smouldering  in  the  broad,  ragged- 
edged  fire-place ;  and  a  lamp,  of  ancient  pattern, 
and  of  simple  construction,  was  burning  on  the 
table,  with  about  enough  light  to  make  the  gloom 
visible.  Old  Mr.  Sighgold  was  found,  with  blood 
over  his  face  and  neck,  and  a  stick  in  his  mouth  as 
thick  as  a  broom  handle,  and  the  stick  had  a  strong 
cord  attached  to  each  end,  and  the  cord  was  tightly 
tied  behind  his  neck,  and  thus  he  was  thoroughly 
gagged.  His  hands  were  pinioned  behind  him ; 
his  feet  were  bound  closely  with  rope,  and  withal. 


390    v  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

he  was  fastened  to  one  of  the  bed-posts.  His  wife 
was  made  secure  to  the  other  bed-post,  and  with 
mouth,  hands  and  feet  like  unto  her  husband's,  and 
herein  she  was  compelled  to  share  with  him,  all  the 
styles  of  his  misery. 

Philip  says,  that  even  then,  he  thought  of  the 
marriage  vow,  and  the  nuptial  knot,  requiring  man 
and  wife  to  hold  to  each  other,  for  better,  for  worse. 
He  requested  the  constable  to  keep  special  watch 
and  charge  over  the  man,  whom  they  had  dragged 
in,  while  the  others  should  relieve  the  sufferers. 

This  was  soon  done  by  loosening  the  cords,  and 
the  same  cords  were  used  to  tie  the  culprit's  hands 
behind  him,  and  also  to  fasten  his  legs  together. 
When  the  old  lady  was  free,  she  thanked  the  Lord 
over  and  over  again,  that  it  was  no  worse,  and  that 
their  lives  were  spared,  and  thanked  Brother  Force 
and  all  his  company  for  coming  to  their  rescue,  and 
rolled  up  her  eyes,  in  holy  horror  and  wrath,  at  the 
sight  of  the  bound  man,  who  must  have  an  awful 
heart,  to  come  in  the  dead  of  night  to  rob  and  mur- 
der two  old,  innocent  people.  But  true  to  woman 
nature,  she  turned  to  her  husband  and  said : 

' '  I  always  told  you  so,  Christopher,  that  some- 
body'd  want  to  kill  us  for  our  little  mite  o'  gold  ; " 
and  she  gave  the  gentleman  a  look  of  depreciation 
and  pity. 

Sighgold,  by  this  time,  was  released,  but  was  in 
no  mood  to  send  out  thanks  to  heaven  or  earth. 


THE  AFFAIR  AT  SIGHGOLD'S.  391 

He  sat  in  grim  silence,  close  by  the  fire-place,  gaz- 
ing on  the  coals,  and  now  and  then  kicking  up  the 
ashes  with  his  toes,  looking  as  if  he  had  endured 
part  of  his  martyrdom,  and  was  expecting  further 
torture.  He  would  move  his  jaws  up  and  down, 
as  if  to  get  them  in  working  order,  and  wipe  his 
mouth  with  his  shirt-sleeves,  and  examine  the  marks 
on  his  wrists,  and  rub  them  over  his  knees,  as  if  to 
improve  the  circulation,  and  stoop  over  and  handle 
his  ankles,  where  the  ropes  had  cut  nearly  to  the 
bone.  His  first  words  were : 

"  Lord  a  mercy  on  me;  there's  all  that  money 
gone.  Say,"  and  he  turned  a  savage  look  upon  the 
captive,  "what  did  you  do  with  that  box ?"  The 
prisoner  did  not  deign  a  reply,  nor  did  he  appear 
to  notice,  that  the  old  man  was  talking  at  all. 

"You  took  that  box  out  with  you,  what  did  you 
do  with  it,  say  ?" 

The  guilty  man  without  raising  his  head  muttered, 
with  a  sort  of  dogged  growl : 

"  You'd  not  believe  anything,  /'(/tell  ye." 

"Of  course,  I  wouldn't,  you  old  reprobate,  you 
ought  to  be  hung". "  And  turning  to  Philip  he  went 
on :  "  Brother  Force,  let's  go  out  in  the  yard  and 
look  for  that  box ;  this  fellow  must  a'  dropped  it ; 
but  like  as  not  the  other  murderer's  packed  it  off. " 

Philip  and  Bob  went  with  him  and  the  old  lady. 
As  they  started,  the  good  wife  threw  a  blanket  coat 
over  Christopher's  shoulders,  and  placed  his  brogans 


392  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

where  he  was  almost  compelled  to  stumble  into 
them,  and  she  covered  herself  with  a  shawl,  and  all 
four  searched  every  nook  and  corner  of  the  yard 
for  nearly  an  hour,  and  the  result  was  fruitless. 
When  they  came  in  doors,  Sighgold  seated  himself 
by  the  fire,  and  commenced  kicking  the  ashes,  and 
asked  the  old  lady  to  put  on  some  wood,  and 
groaned  heavily,  and  held  down  his  head,  and  be- 
gan, in  a  drawling  tone  to  give  an  account  of  the 
robbery.  Being  one  of  the  members  of  Philip's 
flock,  he  addressed  himself  principally  to  him. 
When  he  went  astray  in  his  statement,  or  his  wife 
thought  he  did,  with  a  woman's  vigor  and  prompt- 
ness in  such  matters,  she  corrected  him. 

'  'O !  it's  awful,  awful ;  they  came  to  the  door  and 
knocked  ;  me  and  the  old  woman  was  asleep" — 
Here  the  wife  came  in : 

"No,  Chris,  I  wan't  asleep,  I  heard  'em  before 
they  got  to  the  door." 

"Ah!  me,  as  to  that,  Betsy,  you  never  sleep, 
let  you  tell  it." 

"  Well,  Chris,  go  right;  I  wan't  asleep." 

"Don't  bother,  say  you  was  awake,  if  it'll  do 
you  any  good,"  but  in  an  undertone  he  murmured, 
"you  was  asleep,  though;  I  got  up  and  asked  'em, 
'Who's  there?'  and  says  they,  'Strangers,  who's 
lost  and  nearly  tired  out,  and  want  to  stay  all  night. ' 
Says  I  to  'em,  '  We  don't  keep  strangers ;'  and  one 


TH£  AFFAIR  AT  SJGIIGOLD'S.  393 

word  brought  on  another,  till  they  began  to  try  to 
work  open  the  door.     Betsy  woke  up,  and  " — 
"  Now,  Chris,  I  was  awake  every  minute." 
Sighgold  took  no  note  of  Betsy's  interruption, 
but  went  on :  % 

— "She  hollered  to  keep  'em  out,  and  covered 
her  head  with  the  bed-clothes.  As  she  hollered, 
they  bust  open  the  door,  and  grabbed  me,  and 
poked  a  pistol  at  my  nose — oh !  it  was  awful,  and 
it  looked  as  if  the  muzzle  o'  that  pistol  was  as  big  as 
the  mouth  of  a  coffee-pot." 

Turning  to  the  constable,  he  groaned  out : 
"  Are  you  got  him  tight,  Mr.  Mock?" 
Mock  assured  him  that  he  was  all  tight  and  safe. 
And  the  old  lady  turned  and  looked  at  the  stolid 
man  from  head  to  foot,  as  if  she  were  arranging  in 
her  mind  to  roast  him  alive  ;  and  she  reached  over, 
and   piled  a  few  sticks  on  the  bed  of  coals.     And 
the  old  gentleman  went  on  : 

"  As  I  was  sayin',  the  fellow  that  held  me,  pretty 
nigh  tore  the  shirt  off  me,  and  told  me  with  an  aw- 
ful oath,  to  tell  him  where  my  money  was,  or  he'd 
blow  my  brains  across  the  house.  I  waited  a  bit, 
not  knowin'  what  to  do ;  and  Betsy  yelled  from 
under  the  cover,  to  give  'em  up  all  we  had,  if  they 
wouldn't  kill  us.  Still,  I  couldn't  make  up  my 
mind  to  it,  Brother  Force ;  for  I  felt  as  if  I  was  the 
Lord's  steward  over  that  money.  Then  this  fellow 
here,  pulled  out  a  lot  o'  rope,  and  tied  my  legs, 


394  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

and  tied  my  hands  behind  my  back ;  now,  says  he, 
'  Out  with  it,  not  a  minute  to  fool  away,  come, 
come,  your  brains  '11  go  in  another  minute  if  you 
don't  tell  where  the  money  is. '  Then  Betsey  spoke 
under  the  cover,  '  It's  under  the  meat  barrel,  in  a 
box,  in  the  cellar;'  and  says  they,  '  Is  it  all  there?' 
and  says  I,  '  Yes. '  Then  they  poked  that  awful 
ugly  stick  in  my  mouth,  like  they  was  going  to 
break  a  mule,  and  said  they  wanted  to  preserve  my 
useful  life,  but  must  of  necessity,  put  me  past  hol- 
lerin',  till  this  little  job  was  over,  and  they  was  out 
of  the  way,  and  then  they  tied  me  to  the  bed-post 
as  you  found  me.  Then  they  ordered  Betsy  to  get 
out  o'  bed,  and" — 

"No,  that's  not  it,  Chris;  they  ordered  me  out 
o'  bed  before  they  tied  you  to  the  post,  that's  the 
way  it  was,  Chris." 

' '  O,  well,  Betsy,  that's  no  matter  either  way. 
They  made  her  light  the  lamp,  and  this  man  made 
her  go  before  him  into  the  cellar,  and  the  other 
one  stayed  and  watched  me.  And  the  two  girls  up 
stairs  hearing  the  noise,  came  running  down,  and 
the  man  ran  from  me  to  the  stair  door,  and  poked 
his  pistol  in  their  faces  and  told  them,  if  they  didn't 
run  back  and  keep  perfectly  still  for  more'n  an 
hour,  he'd  shoot  'em  dead  as  hell.  They  talked 
awful,  Brother  Force.  The  girls  ran  back  quick, 
and  I  expect  are  nearly  scared  to  death  yet." 


THE  AFFAIR  AT  SIGHGOLD'S.  395 

Turning  to  his  wife  he  said,  "Betsy,  you'd  better 
call  'em,  and  tell  'em  friends  are  here  now." 

And  Mrs.  Sighgold  opened  the  door  and  did  as 
directed,  whereupon,  a  stir  of  feet  was  heard  in  the 
chamber. 

"Well,  as  I  was  sayin',  in  three  minutes  they 
came  up  from  the  cellar,  with  that  box,  which  held 
all  my  savin's  for  many  long  years." 

Here  Mr.  Sighgold  gave  a  groan,  of  immense 
depth  and  feeling. 

' '  Then  they  tied  my  Betsy,  right  before  my  eyes, 
and  fastened  her  to  the  bed-post  as  you  found  her. 
When  they  came  to  tie  that  wretched  stick  in  her 
mouth,  she  told  them,  they  needn't  do  it  for  she'd 
keep  still.  But,  the  unmannerly  wretches,  swore 
awful,  Brother  Force,  and  said  they  knowed  wo- 
men too  well  to  leave  their  jaws  loose." 

"You  needn't  told  that,  Chris,"  and  she  looked 
at  her  lord  with  a  slight  frown. 

"They  seemed  to  understand  women,  Betsy. 
Then  they  rummaged  the  house,  and  pulled  out 
every  drawer,  and  shook  every  book  upside  down, 
as  if  they  expected  bank  notes  to  drop  out  of  'em ; 
and  they  jerked  down  a  pile  o'  quilts,  that  was 
stacked  up  in  one  corner,  and  there  they  found  my 
old  pocket-book,  that  had  seven  thousand  dollars, 
in  bills,  on  the  State  Bank  of  Indiana,  and  that  man 
there  put  it  in  his  pocket." 


396  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

Here  there  was  a  groan  of  the  first  magnitude. 
But  the  old  man  brightened,  and  turning  to  the 
constable  remarked,  in  hopeful  tones  : 

"Mr.  Mock,  if  it's  not  contrary  to  law,  I  wish 
you'd  search  him  now,  and  see  if  he's  not  got  it 
on  him." 


JOYS  AND  SIGHS.  397 


CHAPTER   XLIV. 

JOYS    AND    SIGHS. 

The  search  was  made,  and,  sure  enough,  the  old 
greasy  pocket-book  was  produced,  and  its  distressed 
owner  rejoiced  with  a  grim  joy;  and  turning  to 
Philip,  groaned  out : 

"Bless  the  Lord,  Brother  Force,  that's  safe  on 
this  hunt.  Well,  as  I  was  a-sayinV'  and  Sighgold 
held  his  head  higher  as  he  spoke,  "they  went  up- 
stairs and  ransacked  all  'round  there,  and  told  the 
girls  if  they  didn't  keep  quiet  up  there  till  mornin', 
they'd  come  back  and  burn  the  house  and  everybody 
in  it.  But  the  Lord  was  on  our  side,  to  bring  you 
'round  here  just  as  they  were  making  off.  Great 
goodness  !  if  you'd  only  a'  come  sooner,  and  saved 
that  box,  that  was  all  gold."  Here  was  another 
doleful  sigh,  and  the  old  man's  head  hung  down 
again. 

' '  How  much  was  there  in  the  box  ?"  inquired 
Philip. 

' '  Well,  if  I  counted  right  the  last  time  there 
was  twelve  thousand  five  hundred  dollars." 

"  Why,  that's  a  great  sum.  No  one  supposed 
you  were  worth  so  much,"  said  Philip,  looking  sur- 
prised. 

28 


398  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"Well,  ye  see,  Brother  Force,  I  was  never  the 
sort  to  blow  'round  about  what  I  had.  Ah,  me  !" 

' '  It  may  be  possible  that  we  may  overhaul  the 
other  man  and  get  the  box  yet." 

"  Oh  !  if  you  only  would,  you'd  have  my  blessin' 
to  my  dyin'  day." 

"Be  of  good  cheer,"  said  Philip.  "You  see  it 
is  not  so  bad  now  as  you  supposed  it  was  an  hour 
ago." 

As  the  morning  began  to  dawn,  they  washed  the 
blood  from  the  prisoner's  head  and  face  and  neck, 
and  found  an  ugly  wound  just  above  his  ear.  Bob 
and  the  constable  kept  close  to  the  prisoner,  and 
started  with  him  to  town,  and  Philip  accompanied 
them.  The  constable's  brother  stayed  to  keep 
company  with  the  old  people  until  other  friends 
should  come  in. 

Jo  Stoker  met  Philip  at  the  door.  He  had  swept 
out  the  room,  and  had  a  comfortable  fire,  and  had 
made  up  the  bed  and  set  things  to  rights ;  and  as 
soon  as  they  were  seated,  he  wanted  to  hear  of 
Philip's  adventure. 

After  the  circumstances  were  detailed  and  Philip 
came  to  talk  of  the  missing  box,  Jo  said  it  was  his 
time  to  have  his  say. 

"You  see,  Mr.  Force,  I  couldn't  rest  a  minute 
after  you  and  Bob  were  gone.  So  I  gathered  up 
the  ax  and  put  out  across  the  lots,  so  as  to  be  there 


JOYS  AND  SIGHS.  399 

as  soon  as  you.  I  came  up  to  the  back  part  of 
Sighgold's  house,  and  walked  along  like  a  cat 
sliding  along  after  a  mouse,  close  to  the  front  cor- 
ner of  the  house,  and  watched  ;  for  just  then  I 
heard  them  chaps  making  'way  from  there.  As  it 
was  as  dark  as  pitch,  I  slid  on  close  up  to  the  door, 
and  as  the  last  feller  stepped  out  I  tapped  him  with 
the  ax  and  dropped  him,  and  grabbed  the  box  and 
slid  out  rapid.  Ye  see,  I  didn't  want  to  tackle  the 
other  bruiser  just  then.  So  ye  see,  Mr.  Force,  I 
had  a  little  hand  in  the  business  after  all ;  and 
there's  the  box  under  the  bed.  I  didn't  look  into 
the  old  thing,  but  it's  as  heavy  as  lead." 

Philip  gave  a  loud  laugh  of  surprise,  and  said  : 

"Why,  Mr.  Stoker,  you're  the  hero  of  the  occa- 
sion. That  box  has  in  it  twelve  thousand  five 
hundred  dollars  in  gold." 

"  Twelve  thousand  five  hundred  !  Jerry  Babble  ! 
Who'd  a'  thought  the  old  cuss  had  twelve  hundred 
about  him  !  Guess  we'd  better  take  it  back  to  him 
right  off;  it'll  make  him  feel  sublime." 

Martin  Mock,  the  constable's  brother,  met  them 
at  Sighgold's  door,  and  when  the  old  man  saw  the 
box  he  jumped  with  delight  and  poured  a  torrent 
of  blessings  on  Philip  and  Jo,  and  said  they  should 
be  paid  for  their  trouble,  and  he  had  no  doubt  that 
such  righteous  persomages  would  have  a  high  seat 
in  heaven. 


4OO  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"Well,  I  don't  speak  for  Mr.  Force,  but  as  for 
me,"  said  Jo,  "  I'll  feel  blamed  lucky  to  get  in." 

When  all  the  circumstances  were  laid  out,  and  he 
saw  that  but  for  Jo  his  box  and  pocket-book  both 
would  have  been  lost  probably  forever,  he  was  for 
taking  Jo  Stoker  in  his  arms ;  but  as  Jo  said  he  was 
too  big  to  be  hugged,  and  didn't  want  to  be  hugged 
by  a  man  no  how,  Sighgold  had  to  be  contented  to 
trot  and  prance  around  Jo  and  Philip,  and  pat  them 
on  the  shoulders,  and  ask  forty  "  Lord's  blessings" 
on  them.  Then  he  would  examine  the  box,  and 
laugh  to  himself  as  he  found  it  had  not  been  opened 
or  injured. 

As  the  old  lady  came  in,  he  threw  his  arms  about 
her  and  kissed  her,  exclaiming : 

."Bless  the  Lord,  Betsy,  and  bless  Stoker  and 
Force,  the  box  is  safe  back !  Let  me  kiss  you 
again,  Betsy." 

"Go  way,  Christopher;  don't  be  foolish  about 
it.  I'm  almost  afraid  of  the  old  thing  after  the 
awful  time  we  had  last  night.  I'm  afraid  there's 
more  curse  than  blessing  in  it." 

As  she  was  talking,  the  girls  came  running  in 
from  the  other  room  to  learn  of  the  fresh  develop- 
ments, and  who  should  one  of  them  be  but  our 
friend  Kate  Brooks.  With  confusion,  gladness  and 
blushes,  she  shook  hands  with  Philip,  and  inquired 
so  much  about  him  that  she  seemed  to  take  but 
little  notice  of  the  box,  or  of  anything  else.  Philip 


JOYS  AND  SIGHS.  401 

thought  of  what  some  one  had  said,  '  'Darkness  may 
endure  for  a  night,  but  joy  cometh  in  the  morning." 
All  the  excitements  of  the  night  had  failed  to  work 
within  him  such  a  tumult  as  did  the  presence  of  this 
artless  girl,  and  who  was  not  aiming  to  do  any  such 
thing.  In  fact  she  was  trying  to  restrain  herself, 
and  this  very  womanly  control,  united  with  her 
childlike  frankness  and  modesty,  made  Philip's 
pulses  beat  all  the  more  violently. 

She  seated  herself  by  his  side,  before  the  fire,  and 
told  over,  in  her  admiring,  wondering  way,  of 
Philip's  agency  in  the  last  night's  affair,  and  how 
she  had  come  over  only  the  day  before  to  stay  all 
night  with  her  cousin  Harriet,  and  how  they  were 
frightened  and  expected  to  be  killed. 

Philip  declares  that  to  hear  her  talk  it  over  gave 
to  the  whole  affair  an  air  of  romance  that  he  had 
not  discovered  till  then. 

As  breakfast  was  now  ready,  the  old  people  would 
hear  to  none  of  them  leaving  until  they  had  eaten  ; 
and  they  would  have  it  that  Philip  should  stay  with 
them  all  day  as  he  was  their  pastor,  and  especially 
as  Stoker  and  Mock  had  to  return  to  their  day's 
business.  Philip  was  disturbed  in  his  mind.  He 
had  no  special  appointment  elsewhere;  no  duty 
excepting  his  'ordinary  daily  studies  to  attend  to ; 
and  here  were  two  old  members  of  his  church  who 
had  just  been  in  distress,  and  it  would  rather  be 
expected  that  their  pastor,  who  had  been  acting  in 


4O2  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

their  defense  and  for  their  protection,  should  con- 
tinue to  manifest  his  concern  for  them  by  keeping 
them  company  for  at  least  part  of  the  day.  But  he 
remembered  his  promise  to  DeKalb.  And  then  he 
concluded,  rationally,  that  he  had  not  sought  the 
interview  with  Kate,  and  that  she  being  there  was 
no  factor  in  shaping  his  purpose  to  remain.  He' 
must  do  his  duty,  and  if  Kate  was  incidentally  in 
the  same  place  where  duty  led  him,  it  was  certainly 
no  violation  of  his  promise  to  DeKalb  to  treat  her 
with  ordinary  courtesy  and  respect. 

Yet  he  had  the  honesty  to  admit  to  himself  that 
her  presence  in  the  old  farm  house  was  by  far  the 
weightiest  inducement  for  him  to  favor  the  old  people 
with  his  society.  He,  however,  said  to  himself,  that 
he  would  pay  attention  particularly  to  them.  Ah, 
Philip,  you  did  not  understand  your  own  mental 
make-up. 

Kate  neither  seemed  to  avoid  him  nor  seek  to 
obtrude  herself  upon  his  notice,  but  by  some  myste- 
rious happening,  they  were  frequently  close  together. 
At  the  breakfast  table  they  set  side  by  side. 
No  one  managed  it  so,  I  suppose. 

All  talked  incessantly  while  eating,  and  it  was 
the  most  natural  of  all  things  for  Kate  and  Philip  to 
be  talking  to  each  other.  Stoker  was  wonderfully 
subdued  and  softened  in  his  manner,  and  was  very 
polite  and  chatty  with  Harriet ;  and  Harriet  looked 
upon  him  as  a  hero  for  what  he  had  done  for  the 


JOYS  AND  SIGHS.  403 

family.  No  one  suspected  any  thing  or  any  one,  for 
there  were  no  sly  maneuvers  to  excite  suspicion.  All 
were  frank,  honest,  open,  free.  True,  Kate  blushed 
often,  but  that  was  not  unusual  with  her  when 
talking  with  young  men,  and,  in  her,  amounted  to 
nothing,  excepting  to  add  fresh  radiance  to  her 
beauty  and  a  warmer  charm  to  her  attractiveness, 
Philip's  heart  throbbed  faster,  but  the  only  effect  of 
this  inward  emotion  was  to  increase  his  vivacity  and 
to  admonish  him  to  be  quietly  on  his  guard  lest  he 
should  afford  occasion  for  gossip. 


404  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER  XLV. 

HEART    MISCHIEF. 

About  an  hour  or  so  before  noon,  General  Hymore 
and  his  wife  came  in  their  carriage  to  pay  their  re- 
spects, and  extend  their  sympathy  to  the  victims 
of  the  robbery.  The  General  was  cousin  to  Sigh- 
gold,  and  the  latter  had  requested  the  constable, 
when  he  left,  to  ask  him  to  call,  as  he  wanted  to 
consult,  as  to  what  was  best  to  be  done.  As  the 
money  was  all  safe,  and  one  of  the  burglars  in  jail, 
the  next  important  question  was,  for  the  safe  keep- 
ing of  the  pocket-book  and  box.  The  General 
had  an  iron  safe  in  his  store,  and  that  was  decided 
to  be  the  place  to  deposit  them  for  the  present. 

Shortly  after  dinner,  the  two  older  couples,  with 
the  vexed  treasure,  started  in  the  carriage  for 
Doubletown,  and  Sighgold  and  wife  were  not  to 
return  till  nearly  night.  Philip  was  requested  to 
consider  himself,  as  man  of  the  house  during  their 
absence. 

This  was  the  time  Kate  had  set  for  the  limit  of 
her  visit.  But  there  appeared  to  be  no  place  in  the 
carriage  for  her,  and  the  elder  Sighgolds  and  Harriet 
insisted  that  she  should  stay  till  evening,  and  General 
Hymore  agreed  to  inform  her  folks,  so  there  would 


HEART  MISCHIEF.  405 

be  no  uneasiness  there.  Kate  concluded  to  stay, 
and  looked  toward  Philip,  to  see,  if  possible,  how 
the  question  of  her  staying  impressed  him.  He, 
however,  did  not  appear  to  be  noticing  the  point 
under  discussion  ;  for  he  was  turning  over  trie  leaves 
of  an  old  book,  that  lay  on  the  table  by  which  he 
was  sitting.  It  is  queer  how  features  are  trained  to 
hide  and  contradict  the  thoughts.  Philip's  judg- 
ment would  have  decided  for  Kate  to  go,  his  desire 
was  for  her  to  stay ;  in  fact  he  felt  that  it  would  be 
dull  and  dreary  in  the  old  house  without  her. 

Harriet  was  good  and  commonly  fair,  and  intelli- 
gent, and  why  was  not  she  enough  for  his  enter- 
tainment ?  Why  was  the  charm  all  in  one  and  not  in 
the  other  ?  She  could  talk  as  well  as  Kate  ;  she  was 
enthusiastic  in  entertaining  her  friends ;  she  laid 
herself  out,  with  heartiness,  to  make  their  visits  a 
gladness ;  she  had  a  high  regard  for  the  young 
preacher,  and  seemed  to  enjoy  his  presence  and 
conversation,  and  numbered  herself  among  his  ad- 
mirers >  she  was  regarded  as  heiress  to  most  of 
Sighgold's  money  and  land ;  she  was  adopted  into 
the  family ;  pains  had  been  taken  to  give  her  more 
than  ordinary  education,  and  she  had  numberless 
winning  ways,  and  so  was  very  agreeable  generally. 
Why  was  it,  therefore,  that  for  Philip,  the  witchery 
and  fascination  was  all  in  Kate  ?  Harriet  was  her 
equal  in  polish  and  lady-like  behavior,  her  greetings 
were  as  cordial,  her  delicacy  as  refined,  her  taste:- 


406  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

as  cultivated,  and  her  amiability  and  good  humor 
were  almost  a  match  for  Kate's.  Again,  why  did 
not  Philip's  predilections  go  out  as  strongly  for 
the  one,  as  for  the  other  ?  It  is  curious,  unaccount- 
able and  common. 

Philip  had  promised  DeKalb,  not  to  seek  Kate's 
society ;  he  had  a  picture  in  his  pocket  of  one,  who 
had  a  strong .  claim  on  his  heart,  and  whom,  he 
would  no  more  think  of  wronging,  than  he  would 
of  putting  his  hand  in  the  fire ;  and  yet  it  must  be 
confessed,  that  Philip's  pleasure,  in  staying  for  the 
day,  at  the  Sighgold  house,  was  mainly  dependent 
on  the  fact  that  Kate  was  staying  there  too. 

After  the  carriage  had  gone,  he  walked  out,  to 
survey  the  premises,  and  interested  himself  in  the 
fields,  and  studied  the  fowls  and  hogs,  and  cattle 
and  horses.  When  this  exercise  became  irk- 
some, and  his  spirits  began  to  flag,  and  he  found 
the  air  too  cool  for  comfort,  he  came  into  the  front 
room,  which  was  now  vacant.  The  girls  were  en- 
gaged in  othei  parts  of  the  house.  He.  betook 
himself  to  stirring  the  fire — a  practice  long  in 
vogue,  and  universally  followed,  when  people  are 
trying  to  determine  what  they  are  thinking  about, 
or  are  working  their  brains  to  discover  what  they 
ought  to  be  doing.  He  warmed  and  yawned,  and 
put  his  hands  together  behind  his  head,  and  his  feet 
as  far  the  other  way  as  possible ;  and  then  plumped 


*          HEART  MISCHIEF.  407 

down  again,  and  punched  the  coals  ;  and  so  fell  in- 
to a  train  of  meaningless  thinking ;  it  could  hardly 
be  called  thinking,  but  was  rather  an  indefinite  be- 
wilderment of  waking  dreams,  as  when  a  man  is 
trying  to  make  himself  happy,  and  is  thinking  of 
nothing,  and  persuades  himself  that  he  is  philoso- 
phizing. 

He  drew  Mary's  likeness  from  his  pocket ;  looked 
into  the  confiding  eyes,  and  vowed  eternal  constancy, 
and  sighed,  and  thought  of  Kate,  and  concluded 
that  he  was  feeling  ill,  or  was  nearly  a  fool,  and 
that  he  must  be  more  careful  of  his  health,  and  he 
must  also  be  more  prudent  in  his  association  with 
Kate ;  and  that  he  would  write  to  Mary ;  and  that 
Mary  would  not  be  easy  if  she  knew  of  all  the  deli- 
cate flames  and  tokens  of  esteem  that  had  passed 
in  so  short  a  time  between  him  and  the  fair  Kate ; 
vowed  again  to  be  eternally  true  to  Mary;  and 
while  he  was  yet  holding  the  picture  before  him, 
and  the  reverie  was  going  on,  Kate  entered  the 
room. 

Philip  immediately  assumed  a  dignified  attitude, 
for  the  person  before  him  commanded  as  large  a 
share  of  his  respect  as  any  one  else  on  his  circuit. 
He  quietly  folded  together  the  miniature  frame, 
and  still  held  it  in  his  hand,  and  invited  Kate 
to  be  seated  by  the  fire.  As  he  was  sitting  in  the 
easiest  chair,  he  rose  and  insisted  that  she  should 
occupy  it. 


408  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

''You  seem  chilly,  Kate,"  said  Philip,  "sit  close 
to  the  fire,  and  be  comfortable." 

"Thank  you,  Mr.  Force,  keep  your  seat,  another 
will  do  as  well,  I  am  not  very  cold,  but  the  fire 
looks  cheery,  and  the  air  out  doors  is  so  raw,  that 
this  old  fire-place  is  like  an  old  friend." 

"  Kate,  may  I  sit  close  by  you  ?  "  Philip  shrank 
from  her,  as  if  she  were  too  pure  and  innocent  for 
him  to  come  near.  "I  have  just  come  in  from  a 
walk  over  the  fields,"  said  he. 

"Of  course,  sit  down  close  by  the  fire,"  said 
Kate,  her  eyes  turned  toward  his,  for  a  moment, 
with  a  bright  persuasiveness,  and  then  she  looked 
into  the  coals  as  if  she  expected  the  coals  to  tell 
her  something. 

"Kate,"  said  Philip,  drawing  his  chair  close  by 
her  side,  ' '  we  are  good  friends,  are  we  not  ?  I  want 
to  show  you  a  picture,  that  I  prize  very  highly. 
Somehow  you  and  I,  by  a  few  circumstances  that 
you  know,  have  been  drawn  into  a  closer  friendship 
than  has  sprung  up  between  me  and  any  other  per- 
son I  have  met  since  I  came  to  Doubletown. "  While 
Philip  was  saying  this  much,  he  was  wiping  imag- 
inary dust  from  the  picture,  and  for  a  cool  day,  it 
was  remarkable  how  the  perspiration  came  out  all 
over  him.  Kate  looked  with  hope  and  anxiety  for 
the  coals  to  tell  her  something.  And  when  he 
handed  her  the  picture,  and  her  eyes  fell  upon  it, 
she  comprehended  the  whole  situation,  and  turned 


HEART  MISCHIEF.  409 

upon  him  such  a  look  of  love  and  despair,  that  it 
almost  crushed  him  to  the  floor.  She  said  not  a 
word,  but  gazed  on  the  picture,  as  if  she  would  ask 
the  lips  to  tell  her  all  they  knew,  and  then  she 
dropped  it  in  her  lap,  and  her  face  grew  white. 

Philip  knew  not  what  to  say  or  do ;  he  was  -so 
confounded.  Here  was  heart  mischief  of  his  own 
making.  How  was  he  to  give  comfort,  when  he 
was  the  cause  of  the  pain  ?  He  labored  hard  to 
frame  something  proper  to  say,  and  was  chafed  and 
goaded  because  he  could  not  find  it,  and  winced  un- 
der the  thought  of  his  wickedness  so  that  his  pulse 
beat  rapidly,  and  his  heart  came  away  up  in  his 
throat  as  if  to  smother  him. 

Kate  allowed  the  picture  to  lay  upon  her  dress, 
and  turned  her  eyes  to  the  coals,  as  if  they  had  told 
her  terrible  things,  and  without  moving  her  head, 
she  said : 

"I  understand  it  all,"  and  she  picked  up  the  pic- 
ture slowly,  as  if  reluctant  to  do  it,  as  if  it  sickened 
her.  ' '  Well — excuse  me,  Mr.  Force — yes,  I  like 
her  face  ;  it  is  handsome,  there  is  much  that  is  good 
and  true  and  lovely,  about  it.  You  have  my  best 
wishes." 

She  said  this  in  an  abstract  way,  as  if  she  were 
talking  to  the  coals ;  and  she  was  pale,  and  seemed 
afraid  to  look  Philip  in  the  face. 

Philip  was  still  driving  his  ideas  up  and  down,  in 
torment,  for  proper  words.  He  would  have  taken 


4io  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

her  in  his  arms,  and  lifted  her  out  of  all  her  dis- 
tress, if  he  only  knew  how.  He  criminated  him- 
self for  encouraging  her,  or  for  not  discouraging 
her,  by  keeping  from  her  entirely,  after  he  saw  the 
slightest  signs  of  attachment  to  him.  He  would 
now  be  willing  to  go  down  on  his  knees  to  ask  her 
forgiveness.  But  he  was  afraid  to  act,  or  speak,  or 
turn ;  for  every  move  he  had  made  with  Kate, 
since  they  first  met,  had  been  fuel  to  the  flame. 
The  flame  and  fire  was  now  being  smothered,  and 
both  were  well  nigh  suffocated  in  the  vapors.  She 
kept  her  eyes  away  from  him,  and  looked  into  the 
old  friendly  fire-place,  as  if  the  glow  of  the  coals 
and  flash  of  the  flames,  in  their  cheerfulness  were 
mocking  her,  as  if  they  would  taunt  and  laugh  at 
her,  over  the  fiercer  fire  that  was  burning  in  her 
heart. 

To  Philip,  she  never  looked  so  lovely.  He  was 
puzzled  and  bewildered.  He  would  walk  the  room 
for  a  minute,  and  then  resume  his  seat.  He  was 
rather  gifted  with  words,  but  now  he  felt  as  if  some 
demon  had  been  in  many  of  them,  for  every  con- 
versation with  Kate  had  tended  to  this  unlucky  en- 
tanglement, and  now,  when  he  was  trying  to  make 
himself  understood,  and  explain  matters,  he  was  so 
baffled  and  alarmed,  that  words  choked  him.  He 
felt  as  if  he  were  groping  in  illusions ;  that  he  was 
walking  among  pitfalls ;  that  he  was  in  a  place, 
where  there  was  no  safe  standing.  His  breath  went 


HEART  MISCHIEF.  411 

in  and  out,  in  great  waves,  as  if  the  air  were  loaded 
with  adverse  influences.  He  accused  himself  of 
being  a  fool,  an  idiot,  and  a  knave.  He  felt  that 
he  was  worse  than  Jo  Stoker,  for  Jo  only  injured 
himself,  and  here  he  had  been  injuring  this  angel  of 
purity.  He  was  ready  to  repent  in  sackcloth  and 
ashes,  if  it  would  only  straighten  this  intricate  mis- 
chief. He  felt  with  the  Psalmist,  that  his  bones 
were  waxing  old  through  his  inward  roaring.  How 
could  she  ever  respect  him  again,  she  who  was  his 
pattern  of  innocence?  At  last  the  silence  became 
so  oppressive  that  he  could  endure  it  no  longer ; 
he  looked  at  the  ceiling,  then  at  the  floor,  and 
opened  the  front  door  and  looked  out  of  that,  and 
then  in  the  old  fashioned  mirror,  and  thought  the 
glass  reflected  him  more  unfavorably  than  ever 
he  had  seen  it,  and  looked  in  the  fire  with  Kate,  and 
then  looked  at  her,  and  said,  in  a  jumbled  way: 

"  Kate,  I  feel,  somehow,  as  if  I  had  done  you 
wrong,  and  yet  I  don't  know  how  to  state  it,  if 
you'll  only  tell  me,  I'll  repent,  I'll  do  anything, 
I'll  "— 

"Who  said  you  wronged  me?"  Kate  spoke  as 
if  startled,  but  was  still  careful  to  look  away  from 
him. 

"No  one  ever  said  so,  as  far  as  I  know,  but  I 
feel  that  way,"  said  Philip,  "and  yet  it  never  was 
in  my  heart  to  do  it,  Kate,  never." 

"You  never  did,   Mr.    Force,"  said   Kate;  and 


412  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

there  was  no  reproach  in  her  tone,  but  rather  an  air 
of  defending  him.  "How  could  you  think  so?  I 
hope  I  don't  make  you  feel  uncomfortable,  yet  I 
know  you  feel  so;  can  I  do  anything  for  you?  But 
what  is  the  use  of  asking  such  a  question  ?  I  can't 
help  myself;  I  don't  feel  right." 

"Kate  you  are  right,  I  know  you  are.  Let  you 
and  I  agree  to  be  friends,"  said  Philip,  looking  a? 
if  he  were  groping  in  the  dark,  and  was  afraio 
of  being  lost. 

"I  always  was  your  friend,  and  will  be,  as  long 
as  you  permit  it. "  She  picked  up  the  picture  and 
looked  intently  into  it.  "Did  you  tell  me  her 
name?  Mary  Allerton?  Shall  I  call  her  Mary? 
Would  she  allow  a  stranger  to  be  so  familiar  ? 
Would  she  let  me  be  your  friend  ?  You  think  she 
would  be  pleased  with  me,  do  you  ?  Her  eyes  look 
full  of  welcome.  But  women  are  curious  about  the 
women  friends  of  the  man  that  belongs  to  <-hem. 
I  know  I  shall  like  her.  You  will  let  me  like 
her,  because  she  is  yours?"  and  so  she  went  on  in 
her  confiding  simplicity,  and  Philip  replied : 

"She  cannot  help  being  your  friend,  Kate,  when 
she  comes  to  know  you ;  I  am  certain  you  will  like 
her :  T  shall  write  to  her  about  you  ;  I  want  you  to 
be  acquainted.  I  shall  never  forget  you;  it  will, 
with  me,  always  be  a  pleasure  to  think  of  you ;  our 
short  acquaintance  has,  to  me,  been  very  pleasant ; 
you  will  not  draw  away  from  me,  Kate?"  Kate  was 


HEART  MISCHIEF.  413 

looking  in  the  coals  as  if  she  didn't  understand  them. 
"  Of  course,"  said  Philip,  "you  will  find  some  one, 
who  will  make  you  think  more  of  him,  than  you 
will  think  of  any  one  else  ;  I  shall  have  to  take  ^ 
second  place,  but  it  would  be  painful  to  me,  if  you 
should  come  to  look  upon  me  as  if  I  had  no  in- 
terest in  you.  You  must  be  a  sister  to  me.  Never 
cease  being  free  and  frank  with  me.  I  promised 
DeKalb  not  to  seek  your  society." 

Kate  was  startled  for  an  instant  at  this  last 
remark,  and  then  continued  to  look  in  the  coals  as 
if  they  were  revealing  things 

'"Providence  or  accident  led  us  into  the  same 
path,  Kate,  occasionally  ;  and  you  can  but  know 
that  I  have  enjoyed  your  presence ;  and  somehow. 
I  don't  know  why,  I  didn't  design  it,  my  thoughts 
have  run  out  after  you  continually,  since  we  met 
at  the  festival ;  everything  has  been  brighter  to  me 
when  you  were  near  me,  where  I  could  see  your 
face ;  and  the  whole  world  was  full  of  melody  to 
me,  when  I  could  hear  your  voice,  and" — 

"Stop,  stop,  Mr.  Force,  please  not  to  say  any- 
thing more  like  that,"  and  Kate  started  back  as  if 
she  were  afraid  the  coals  were  going  to  burst ; 
"  You'll  not  talk  that  way,  any  more,  to  me,  will 
you  ?  It  makes  me  uneasy,  it  confuses  me,  it  be- 
wilders me,  it  makes  me  feel  foolish  ;  I  am  your 
friend,  remember  that;"  and  she  spoke  with  em- 
phasis and  decision,  and  began  to  look  dignified 
29 


414  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

and  independent,  and  looking  Philip  in  the  face, 
went  on : 

"Let  us  talk  of  something  else;  I  never  felt 
like  a  fool  in  your  presence  before ;  tell  me  some- 
thing apart  from  ourselves." 

And  just  then  Harriet  came  upon  them,  and 
Kate  carlessly  drew  the  folds  of  her  dress  over  the 
picture  to  hide  it. 


PHILIP'S  SELF  REPROACH.  415 


CHAPTER  XLVI. 

PHILIP'S    SELF    REPROACH. 

"Why,  Mr.  Force,"  said  Harriet,  "you  look  as 
if  you  had  been  preaching  the  doctrine  of  repent- 
ance to  Cousin  Kate,  and  she  looks  as  if  it  had 
taken  effect  on  her;  and  if  anything,  you  look 
more  sorry  than  she  does." 

Philip  smiled  ruefully,  and  went  to  the  door  and 
opened  it,  and  put  his  head  out  as  if  he  wanted 
fresh  air,  and  said  nothing.  Kate  tried  to  look  as 
easy  as  if  nothing  unusual  had  occurred,  and  made 
no  reply ;  and  Harriet  continued  : 

' '  Kate,  what  makes  you  look  so  pale  ?  Do  you 
feel  sick  ?  How  red  your  eyes  are.  I  don't  won- 
der Mr.  Force  should  look  badly,  for  he  was  up  all 
night — and  such  a  night.  As  to  that,  Kate,  we 
had  better  been  up  than  to  be  so  near  frightened  to 
death  as  we  were.  You  stood  it  bravely  last  night, 
Kate ;  your  courage  kept  me  from  dying  with  dread 
of  those  terrible  men.  You  kept  up  so  well  then  I 
was  afraid  of  the  after  effect  on  you.  You  don't 
feel  unwell  ?  Now,  Kate,  you  can't  deceive  me  ;  I 
know  your  eyes  too  well ;  and  your  face  is  pale,  and 
there  are  signs  of  pain  it.  Don't  you  see  it,  Mr. 
Force?" 


4i 6  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

Philip  felt  as  if  he  was  being  charged  with  guilt, 
and  that  the  charge  was  true,  and  that  there  were 
forty  people  around  him  that  fully  believed  it.  He 
admitted  that  there  were  some  indications  of  illness 
in  Kate,  but  evidently  he  was  averse  to  talking 
over  it. 

Kate  rallied,  and  requested  Philip  to  tell  all  about 
the  events  of  the  previous  night  that  she  had  not 
yet  heard. 

Along  in  the  afternoon,  late,  Sighgold  and  wife 
returned,  and  it  was  arranged  that  Philip  and  Kate 
should  return  to  Doubletown  with  Hymore's  car- 
riage. 

On  the  way,  Kate  was  apparently  as  joyous  as 
ever,  and  talked  of  the  weather,  the  church  and 
forty  things,  just  as  they  occurred  to  her.  But 
Philip  felt  that  she  was  forcing  herself  to  be  agree- 
able ;  that  she  was  driving  herself  to  it  to  lighten, 
if  possible,  the  load  she  saw  resting  on  him.  One 
or  two  of  her  remarks  led  him  to  conclude  that  she 
was  still  inclined  to  confide  in  him.  She  requested 
that  he  would  pay  no  attention  to  any  thing  Pro- 
fessor DeKalb  should  say  about  her,  for  he  was  an 
annoyance  to  her. 

Philip  drove  to  the  door  of  the  Inn,  and  handed 
Kate  out ;  and  she  looked  in  his  face  with  her  usual 
smile  of  thankfulness,  and  much  of  her  color  was 
gone.  And  he  bid  her  good  evening ;  and  he 
deposited  the  carriage  at  General  Hymore's ;  and 


PHILIP'S  SELF  REPROACH.  417 

after  supper  went  to  meet  Dr.  Wallace  and  Bob  in 
their  room. 

About  ten  o'clock  that  night,  while  the  three 
young  men  were  yet  talking  together,  a  messenger 
came  to  ask  the  doctor  to  come  as  soon  as  possible 
to  Mr.  Brooks',  at  the  Inn,  for  his  daughter  Kate 
was  taken  violently  sick.  Philip  accompanied  him. 
Was  it  not  his  duty  to  visit  the  sick  of  Jiis  flock  ? 
And  here  was  one  of  the  best  of  the  lambs  stricken 
down.  His  conscience  smote  him.  He  hesitated 
lest  his  going  would  make  matters  worse. 

He  found  Kate  unconscious  and  in  the  delirium 
of  fever.  He  questioned  the  doctor  as  to  the 
nature  of  the  disease  and  'the  prospect  of  her  re- 
covery, and  received  no  definite  answer,  for  the 
good  reason  that  the  doctor  did  not  know.  In 
fact  Philip  had  a  vague,  condemning  idea  that  he 
knew  more  of  the  trouble  than  any  one  else. 

He  sat  by  her  side  ;  he  felt  her  pulse  ;  he  bathed 
her  temples;  he  spoke  what  words  of  cheer  and 
comfort  he  could  frame  for  the  anxious  mother ;  he 
was  filled  with  self-reproach  and  sorrow ;  he  looked 
dejected  and  forlorn.  His  interest  in  the  beautiful 
sufferer,  and  his  anxiety  to  relieve  her,  flattered 
and  consoled  the  mother. 

As  he  returned  with  the  doctor,  after  midnight, 
he  noted  with  care  every  remark  made  about  her 
symptoms.-  He  learned  that  there  appeared  to  be  no 
physical  cause  for  her  great  feverishness,  and  that 


4i 8  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

some  mental  disturbance  must  have  been  the  occa 
sion  of  it.      Philip  slept  but  little  that  night. 

Bob  had  made  rapid  progress  in  his  studies,  and 
kept  himself  free  from  evil  associations,  and  took 
pleasure  in  Philip's  society  and  conversation.  He 
and  Sue  Blunt  were  together  occasionally,  and 
everybody  took  it  for  granted  that  they  belonged 
to  each  other. 

Sue  improved  in  manners  and  mind.  Her  home- 
spun frivolty  wore  away  into  seemly  dignity  and 
grace.  She  was  not  only  passable,  but  exceedingly 
well-favored,  and  was  popular  with  old  and  young. 
She  had  an  exuberance  of  wit,  and  was  inclined  to 
be  blunt  in  expression,  as  well  as  in  name ;  but  the 
culture  and  discipline  of  school  and  the  training 
that  comes  from  being  in  society,  and  her  zeal  for 
improvement,  combined  to  clip  the  wings  of  her 
bantering  satire  and  irony.  When  she  first  came 
to  the  Seminary,  her  rustic  raillery  and  jokes  made 
her  often  appear  rather  unfeminine ;  and  to  those 
who  offended  her,  or  for  whom  she  formed  a  dis- 
like, she  was  a  person  to  be  feared.  She  walked 
with  the  port  of  a  queen,  but  would  run  to  the 
relief  of  a  beggar.  People  were  often  offended  and 
suffered  from  the  flashes  of  her  ridicule  and  sar- 
casm ;  but  she  would  follow  them  with  so  many 
after  acts  of  kindness  and  winning  words  that  they 
soon  became  her  warmest  friends. 


PHILIP'S  SELF  REPROACH.  419 

She  never  shot  this  delicate  lightning  against 
Bob.  She  was  respectful  to  him,  almost  to  rever- 
ence. When  he  came  into  her  presence,  if  she 
were  in  the  full- tide  of  comedy  or  farce,  she  soon 
subsided  into  a  demeanor  of  sobriety  and  coyness. 
She  knew  that  Bob  needed  her  care  and  encour- 
agement, and  the  very  sight  of  him  awoke  in  her  all 
the  helpfulness  that  a  woman  can  feel  for  only  mas- 
culine humanity  fallen  and  trying  to  rise. 

Bob  had  well  nigh  been  swept  away  by  the 
influences  of  the  reckless  and  dissipated  about  him 
just  as  he  was  about  coming  into  manhood.  His 
early  days  at  home  were  spent  under  forces  of 
honor,  truth  and  uprightness,  such  as  are  found 
with  the  average  farmer.  His  defeat  in  trying  to 
run  away  with  Sue,  and  a  few  circumstances  in  con- 
nection with  that  defeat,  had  opened  his  eyes  to 
his  foolishness.  He  had  fully  made  up  his  mind 
to  turn  about  for  the  better.  He  formed  an  attach- 
ment for  Philip  partly  because  he  needed  him, 
and  partly  because  Philip  naturally  and  easily  fell 
into  sympathy  with  his  new  purposes,  and  without 
any  show  of  condescension,  was  ready  and  pleased 
at  all  times  to  give  him  any  assistance  in  his  power. 
He  knew  that  Philip  had  a  knowledge  of  the  worst 
of  his  waywardness  and  folly,  and  as  he  was 
respectful  to  him  then,  Bob  held  to  him  the  stronger 
now. 

It  was  intimated  that  Sue  was  inclined  to  be  quiet 


42O  THE  Two   CIRCUITS. 

and  subdued  in  Bob's  presence.  It  is  not  to  be 
inferred,  however,  that  she  was  in  the  least  afraid 
of  him.  Apparently,  she  never  was  afraid  of  any  one. 
But  she  was  afraid  for  Bob.  She  was  afraid  that, 
in  some  evil  hour,  he  might  be  swept  away  and 
sucked  under  by  the  tide  of  evil  influences  that  now 
and  then  gathered  around  him.  She  had  set  her- 
self to  do  all  she  could  to  call  into  exercise  the 
better  capacities  of  his  manhood.  She  would  speak 
to  Philip  with  enthusiastic  approval  of  his  success 
in  learning,  and  praised  his  pluck  in  battling  against 
evil  habits  and  associations ;  and  she  seemed  in- 
stinctively to  understand  that  Philip  would  take  the 
first  favorable  opportunity  to  repeat  her  sayings, 
and  improve  upon  them  in  his  conversations  with 
Bob.  She  had  won  him  some  time  ago,  and  now 
she  strove  to  make  the  prize  as  valuable  as  time, 
labor  and  love  could  do  it. 


MARY. 


MARY  ALLERTON.  421 


CHAPTER  XLVII. 

MARY   ALLERTON. 

Kate's  illness  was  protracted.  DeKalb  gave  her 
the  most  careful  attention,  and  took  pains,  in  a 
reproachful  style,  to  admonish  Philip  that  his  visits 
tended  to  her  injury,  rather  than  benefit.  And  Philip 
was  not  sure  but  the  professor  was  correct.  But  it 
was  no  small  struggle  to  master  his  inclination  to 
call  upon  her  whenever  opportunity  offered.  Much 
of  his  time,  however,  was  occupied  at  appointments 
away  from  the  town,  and  thus  he  was  assisted  in 
his  efforts  of  self-conquest.  And  there  was  his 
promise  to  DeKalb. 

As  he  returned  to  Doubletown,  some  weeks  after 
Kate's  attack,  he  found  Mary  Allerton  and  her 
younger  sister,  Jennie,  had  come  from  Wildeden, 
on  a  visit  to  the  Hy mores.  The  Allertons  and 
Hymores  had  been  friends  of  old.  Philip  desired 
that  none  of  his  new  made  friends  on  his  circuit 
should  know  that  Mary  and  he  were  anything  more 
to  each  other  than  old  friends ;  and  he  succeeded  at 
first  in  so  impressing  them. 

He  carefully  concealed  from  Mary  the  state  of 
affairs  that  had  come  up  between  him  and  Kate. 
He  managed  it  so  that  she  and  her  sister,  Jennie, 


422  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

should  go  with  Martha  Hymore  and  Sue  Blunt  to 
visit  Kate,  who  was  yet  too  feeble  to  venture  from 
the  house.  Philip  was  secretly  gratified  to  hear 
Mary  and  all  of  them  speak  in  high  terms  of  the 
invalid,  and  that  there  was  a  fair  prospect  of  her 
soon  being  well  again.  They  went  on  to  remark 
that  her  aunt,  a  Mrs.  Thornton,  from  Indianapolis, 
was  visiting  her  sister,  Mrs.  Brooks  ;  that  she  had 
lately  become  a  widow  and  had  no  children,  and  had 
vast  wealth,  and  had  persuaded  her  sister  to  allow 
Kate  to  go  home  with  her  and  attend  school  a  few 
years  in  that  city;  and  that  if  she  would  be  content 
to  make  her  home  with  her  that  Kate  should  have 
the  largest  part  of  her  possessions  when  she  died. 
Kate  was  her  favorite  niece,  and  had  been  named 
after  her;  though  her  dignity  was  slightly  ruffled 
because  she  was  called  Kate,  when  in  truth  she  said 
her  name  was  Catharine.  She  prided  herself  on  the 
fact  that  her  home  was  in  a  much  larger  place  than 
tftis  one,  and  it  was  evident  that  she  felt  that  she 
was  condescending  on  her  part  to  spend  so  much 
time  on  terms  of  equality  in  so  humble  a  place  as 
the  Doubletown  Inn.  Yet  withal  she  was  a  lady  of 
considerable  culture  and  kindliness  of  heart. 

' '  We  found  our  old  teacher,  Professor  DeKalb, 
there,"  said  Mary,  addressing  Philip,  "as  awkward 
and  polite  as  ever.  Why  is  it  that  he  fails  to  make 
himself  agreeable  when  he  labors  so  hard  to  do 
it  ?  It  seemed  to  me  that  he  was  more  annoy- 


MARY  ALLERTON.  423 

ance  than  help  to  Miss  Kate.  Did  you  notice  it, 
Miss  Blunt?" 

"Yes,"  said  Sue,  "but  we  pay  no  attention  to 
him  here  outside  of  the  school-room.  He  is  one 
of  those  good,  unpleasant  pests  that  you  can  hardly 
hate,  but  somehow  he  bores  one  fearfully." 

"I  am  told,"  said  Philip,  "that  he  is  a  good 
teacher." 

"Oh,  yes,"  said  Sue,  in  a  laughing  way,  "he 
ought  to  be  caged  in  a  school-room.  I  know  he 
must  worry  Kate.  If  he  should  attempt  to  play 
the  agreeable  to  me  as  he  does  to  her,  I  would  be 
tempted  to  knock  him  over  the  head  with  my  para- 
sol. He  ought  to  spend  his  time,  when  he  is  not 
attending  his  classes,  in  helping  Mr.  Brooks  make 
coffins,  or  drive  his  one-horse  hearse  up  and  down 
town  for  exercise." 

' '  When  does  Miss  Kate  expect  to  leave  for 
Indianapolis?"  inquired  Philip,  with  an  air  of  indif- 
ference. 

' '  Mrs.  Thornton  said  she  was  anxious  to  return 
immediately,  but  had  made  up  her  mind,  for  the 
sake  of  having  Kate's  company,  to  remain  until  it 
was  safe  for  her  to  travel.  And,  by  the  way,  Philip," 
continued  Mary,  in  a  natural  and  easy  manner, 
' '  she  said  you  had  rather  neglected  her.  She  asked 
about  you  very  carefully,  and  wondered  that  you 
had  not  called  to  congratulate  her  on  the  prospects 
of  her  recovery." 


424  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

Philip  made  an  evasive  excuse,  and  turned  to  ques- 
tion Mary  about  the  old  friends  at  Wildeden ;  and 
they  gradually  glided  into  a  low  confidential  mood 
together.  They  had  not  indulged  in  this  luxury  for 
many  minutes  when  Sue  came  and  stood  before  them, 
and  thanked  Mary  and  her  sister,  Jennie,  for  their 
visit,  and  for  sending  Philip  among  them ;  but  if 
she  had  any  more  like  Professor  DeKalb  at  Wild- 
eden, she  would  be  resigned  if  she  would  send  them 
in  some  other  direction. 

"  Miss  Blunt,  you  must  be  more  favorable  toward 
the  professor.  We  rather  liked  him  in  many  re- 
spects while  he  was  with  us,"  said  Mary, 

"Well,"  said  Sue,  " your  capacity  for  liking  is 
superior  to  mine,  if  you  like  him.  But  it  may  be, 
I  go  too  far ;  we  do  like  him  just  as  we  like  a 
school-book.  He's  nothing  but  a  living  book, 
bound  in  sheep,  with  thin  paper  and  small  print.  I 
have  come  to  like  a  book,  and  I  love  little  sheep, 
and  after  that  way  I  may  come  to  like  DeKalb ; 
but  not  so  much,  for  he  bores  me  worse  than  they 
do.  And  then  you  can  get  rid  of  books  and  sheep 
when  you  want  to,  but  when  that  Dutchman  comes 
toward  me,  I  feel  like  I  would  have  to  run,  fight  or 
smother." 

Bob  and  Sue  had  arranged  that  Mary  and  Jennie 
should  go  with  them  up  to  Sue's  old  home  at  Spen- 
gler's  Grove,  on  Saturday.  Philip  was  to  preach 


MARY  ALLERTON.  425 

there  on  Sunday,  and  was  expected  to  be  one  of 
their  party ;  but  as  he  had  an  appointment  the 
same  day  they  started,  and  it  was  not  in  their  route, 
they  with  regret  were  compelled  to  go  without  him. 
Jennie,  too,  complaining  of  being  unwell,  declined 
to  make  the  trip. 

Mary  was  exceedingly  fond  of  riding  on  horse- 
back ;  and  on  this  occasion  General  Hymore  gave 
her  the  choice  of  any  in  his  stable.  She  selected 
his  saddle-horse,  an  animal  of  splendid  proportions 
and  style.  The  General  was  rather  inclined  to 
object,  for  fear  that  she  might  not  be  able  to  manage 
him.  For,  although  he  was  generally  docile  and 
controllable,  now  and  then,  from  his  abundance  of 
Jife,  he  would  rush  out  into  some  unlocked  for 
freaks  of  frolic  and  fun.  Mary  had  so  much  expe- 
i  ience  in  riding,  that  she  was  confident  of  her  ability 
to  hold  the  reins  over  him.  Jennie  said  there 
was  not  the  slightest  danger,  for  she  rode  every 
c  olt  at  home  before  it  was  half-broken. 

They  arrived  at  Sue's  old  home  in  high  spirits, 
but  somewhat  the  worse  in  appearance  from  the 
effects  of  a  few  mud-holes. 

Philip  barely  reached  the  old  church  in  the  proper 
time  to  begin  the  service.  Bob  and  his  party  did 
not  come  in  until  about  the  time  of  taking  the  text. 
M  ary  had  as  yet  never  listened  to  one  of  Philip"' s 
pi  Ipit  efforts.  To  hear  him  was  the  main  purpose 
cf  her  trip  to  the  country.  Philip  had  fresh  fire  and 


426  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

inspiration  on  that  day.  There  was  something  in 
Mary's  thoughtful  face  and  careful  attention  that 
stimulated  him,  and  his  success  was  a  surprise  to 
himself  and  his  auditors  ;  and  while  the  last  hymn 
was  being  sung,  he  saw  the  flush  of  pride  and 
exultation  playing  over  her  delicate  features.  He  saw 
that  she  was  not  disappointed  in  him  ;  that  he  had 
grown  in  her  esteem  ;  and  the  air  of  satisfaction  and 
commendation  that  rested  on  her  features  was  more 
to  him  just  then  than  all  the  approvals  on  earth. 
He  had  long  wanted  to  be  convinced  that  her  intel- 
lect, as  well  as  her  heart,  said,  "he  was  worthy  of 
her. "  That  effect  was  accomplished  that  day.  She 
did  not  express  it,  but  it  was  implied  by  an  unmis- 
takable heart  language  that  spoke  from  her  eyes, 
that  assured  him  as  perfectly  as  if  she  had  vowed  it 
over  and  over. 

Philip  and  Mary,  Bob  and  Sue  dined  together. 
Bob  accompanied  Philip  to  his  appointment  at 
night,  five  miles  away.  The  girls  had  at  first  deter- 
mined to  go ;  a  storm  was  threatening,  and  they 
were  compelled  to  forego  their  intentions.  Had 
any  one  encouraged  them  they  would  have  braved 
the  fury  of  the  elements  just  for  the  excitement. 
'  Philip  concluded  he  would  ride  Mary's  horse, 
as  he  seemed  so  full  of  life,  while  his  own  was 
slightly  jaded. 

It  was  near  midnight  when  they  returned.      All 
the  inmates  of  the  house  had  gone  to  rest,  and  the 


MARY  ALLERTON.  427 

next  morning,  early,  the  party  were  to  ride  back  to 
Doubletown.  The  breakfast  came  with  the  dawn. 
As  Philip  assisted  Mary  into  the  saddle  and  placed 
her  tiny  foot  into  the  stirrup,  he  remarked  to  her : 

"  It  surprises  me  that  you  should  have  rode  this 
horse,  for  he  came  very  near  throwing  me  several 
times  on  yesterday  and  last  night." 

"Philip,  my  dear, "  she  said,  in  a  low  voice,  "I 
am  not  in  the  least  afraid  of  him ;  he  carries  me 
with  such  ease  and  triumph.  He  seems  to  know 
me;  I  like  him  so  much." 

All  four  were  soon  galloping  off,  full  of  life,  lib- 
erty and  the  pursuit  of  happiness.  Excepting 
Philip,  they  seemed  to  be  possessed  of  no  more 
caution  than  so  many  colts.  They  had  been  accus- 
tomed to  horses  all  their  lives,  and  Philip  had  not. 
The  more  Mary's  horse  would  plunge  and  prance, 
the  more  she  seemed  to  enjoy  him.  She  had  to 
hold  him  back  in  order  to  keep  company  with 
Philip.  The  latter  was  uneasy  and  troubled  to  see 
his  chief  earthly  good  the  subject  of  such  preca- 
rious tossings.  But  Mary  was  so  self-possessed,  and 
so  perfectly  commanded  the  situation,  that  his 
dread  of  accident  gradually  wore  away,  leaving  a 
dark  shadow  of  foreboding. 

About  half  a  mile    from   Doubletown   the    road 

made  a  right  angle.     There  was  a  fence  on  the  left ; 

and  on  the  right,  about  ten  feet  from  the  track,  was 

an  abrupt  declivity  of  several  feet,  and  at  the  foot 

30 


428  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

of  it  there  was  a  slope  down  toward  a  small  creek. 
As  they  came  near  to  this  corner,  riding  rapidly 
and  Mary's  horse  was  rushing  to  the  front  of  tht 
others,  suddenly,  as  a  flash,  the  splendid  animal 
shot  to  one  side,  and  threw  himself  and  rider  over 
the  embankment.  In  a  moment  Mary  was  on  her 
feet.  Her  dress  was  soiled  and  torn,  but  she 
declared  she  was  not  hurt.  She  ran  to  the  horse's 
head,  and  exclaimed: 

"Oh,  my  poor  horse  is  dead." 

He  had  broken  his  neck  in  the  fall.  While 
they  were  all  examining  the  horse,  Mary  fell  and 
fainted.  Bob  ran  to  a  little  pool  close  by,  and 
scooped  some  water  in  his  hand  and  bathed  her 
face.  Sue  sat  upon  the  ground  and  took  her  head 
in  her  lap,  and  Philip  was  the  picture  of  despair 
kneeling  by  her  side. 

"My  Lord,"  said  he,  "I  was  afraid  of  that 
horse  all  the  time.  Mercy,  Sue,  do  you  think  she 
is  seriously  hurt  ?  I  wish  I  had  insisted  on  riding 
the  foolish  horse  myself." 

Mary  gradually  regained  her  consciousness.  But 
when  she  made  the  attempt  it  was  found  she  was 
unable  to  stand.  She  was  very  pale,  and  traces  of 
blood  were  about  her  lips. 

A  stranger  was  passing  that  way  with  a  two- 
seated  spring  wagon,  and  offered  to  do  all  he  could 
for  them.  Philip  and  Bob  lifted  her,  and  placed  her 
in  the  back  seat.  When  the  wagon  began  to  move 


MARY  ALLERTON.  429 

Mary  was  unable  to  support  herself;  and  they 
moved  the  seat,  and  Philip  and  Bob  laid  their  over- 
coats in  the  bottom  of  the  wagon,  and  the  owner  of 
the  wagon  offered  his  buffalo  robe,  and  they  made 
her  lie  down;,  and  Sue  sat  with  her,  holding  her 
head  in  her  lap. 

"Oh,  Philip,"  said  Mary,  feebly,  "I  thank  you 
and  Mr.  Scates  for  your  care  of  me.  I  am  sorry  to 
worry  you  so.  And  the  poor  horse  is  dead ;  I  am 
so  sorry.  Sue,  my  dear,  you  are  so  kind." 

' '  Don't  talk  that  way,  Mary,  if  you  will  only  get 
well  let  all  the  rest  go ;  it's  not  worth  talking 
about,"  said  Sue. 

Philip  and  Bob  threw  in  all  the  words  of  cheer 
they  could  command  as  they  slowly  made  their  way 
into  Doubletown.  Upon  Philip's  suggestion,  Bob 
rode  ahead  to  notify  the  doctor  to  be  present,  if 
possible,  as  soon  as  they  arrived. 


43O  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER  XLVIII. 

GONE  SO   SOON. 

There  was  great  consternation  at  the  Hymore 
house.  Jennie  was  almost  distracted  at  the 
appearance  of  her  sister.  Mrs.  Hymore  took 
advantage  of  the  occasion  to  launch  out  into  one  of 
her  wildest  hysterical  enterprises,  so  that  every 
member  of  her  immediate  family  were  taxed  to  the 
utmost,  to  keep  her  from  immediately  taking  final 
leave  of  earthly  affairs.  Philip  was  almost  stupe- 
fied with  distress,  as  the  doctor  gravely  examined 
into,  and  inquired  of  Mary's  symptoms.  The  blood 
would  still  escape  from  her  mouth.  She  stoutly 
maintained,  that  she  would  be  well  in  a  few  hours  ; 
that  she  had  only  received  a  slight  shock  ;  and  vexed 
herself  more  over  the  death  of  the  poor  horse, 
than  over  any  fear  about  her  own  case. 

Philip  followed  the  doctor  into  the  yard,  and  the 
tone  of  the  replies  he  received  from  him  added  to 
his  dejection.  It  was  feared  there  had  been  a  rup- 
ture of  an  important  blood  vessel  near  to  some  of 
the  vital  organs.  The  doctor  would,  in  a  few  mo 
ments,  .bring  another  physician,  and  that  a  few 
hours  would  determine  the  extent  and  danger  of 
the  injury. 


GONE  So  SOON.  431 

When  Philip  returned  to  the  room,  the  bleeding, 
he  found,  had  become  more  profuse,  and  the  ex- 
haustion greatly  increased.  General  Hymore  with 
his  daughters  was  compelled  to  look  after  his  wife, 
in  another  part  of  the  house.  Sue  showed  rare 
tact  and  delicacy  in  anticipating  Mary's  wants. 
Philip  stood  by  her  bed-side,  and  noted  her  pulsa- 
tions, and  every  movement  of  her  features.  He 
battled  against  his  forebodings,  and  with  great  ef- 
fort, assumed  the  appearance  of  a  manly  cheerful- 
ness. He  felt  that  to  show  any  sign  of  his  fears 
might  have  unfavorable  effect.  Bob  held  himself 
in  readiness  for  any  commands. 

Mary,  though  seriously  weakened,  kept  in  buoy- 
ant spirits. 

"Jenny,  sister,"  she  said,  "there  is  no  cause  for 
uneasiness  ;  my  system  has  been  considerably  jarred, 
but  all  will  be  well  shortly.  You  know  I  was  never 
thrown  from  a  horse  before,  so  I  am  not  used  to  it ; 
I  was  not  thrown  this  time,  till  that  splendid  fel- 
low threw  himself;  I  am  so  sorry  he  was  killed." 

"  O,  Mary,  I  am  provoked  at  the  horse,  and  feel  a 
spite  at  him,  dead  as  he  is,  because  he  hurt  my 
sister  so  much.  Had  I  not  better  write  to  father, 
and  let  him  know  of  your  accident?"  and  Jennie 
looked  at  her  sister  anxiously,  as  if  to  gather  the 
probabilities  of  the  future. 

"No,  no,"  said  Mary,  with  an  effort  to  smile,  "it 


432  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

would  only  disturb  them  for  nothing;  I  think  I  will 
be  well  enough  in  a  day  or  two." 

The  consultation  of  the  two  physicians  did  not 
brighten  any  one's  hopes.  They  looked  as  wise, 
cheerful  and  mysterious,  as  became  their  profession, 
and  answered  all  inquiries  with  the  most  oracular  am- 
biguity. Dr.  Wallace  remained  to  give  attention 
for  the  night.  Philip  took  occasion  to  draw  him 
to  one  side,  to  obtain  from  him  what  he  thought  of 
Mary's  case. 

"  It  would  not  surprise  me,"  said  the  doctor,  "  if 
she  died  before  morning." 

Philip  sprang  to  his  feet,  quivering  with  fear,  and 
laying  his  hand  on  the  doctor's  arm  fairly  turned 
him  about,  as  he  exclaimed  : 

' '  My  Lord  !  Doctor,  how  you  alarm  me.  If 
that  girl  dies  I  am  undone.  I  can  confide  in  you, 
sir ;  she  is  as  'near  to  me  as  my  own  life.  Can 
nothing  be  done  to  save  her  ?  O,  heavens !  you 
must  save  her;  "  and  he  looked  at  the  doctor  im- 
ploringly, and  the  great  tears  stood  in  his  eyes, 
and  he  shook  like  an  oak  in  a  storm. 

"  I  will  do  all  in  my  power,"  said  the  doctor.  "  I 
assure  you,  Mr.  Force,  everything  that  our  skill  can 
do,  shall  be  done.  You  asked  me  to  be  candid  with 
you,  and  I  am  very  sorry  I  cannot  give  you  good 
grounds  to  hope.  The  chances,  in  my  opinion,  are 
against  her.  Doctor  Curtis  is  older  than  I  am,  and 
he  views  the  case  more  favorably,  I  sincerely  hope 


GONE  So  SOON.  433 

his  judgment  will  prove  correct.  If  she  has  any 
friends  that  it  is  important  for  her  to  see,  they  had 
better  be  sent  for  at  once." 

' '  Great  Father  above  !  what  a  calamity  is  this  ! 
Lord,  Lord,  so  soon,  so  soon ;  the  light  of  my  life 
to  go  out  this  way;"  and  Philip  paced  the  room, 
sighing  and  groaning  and  praying,  as  if  his  head 
were  in  a  whirl. 

As  they  were  in  a  room  to  themselves,  the  doc- 
tor quietly  took  him  by  the  arm,  and  led  him  with 
difficulty  to  a  chair,  and  said : 

"Mr.  Force,  this  will  not  do  for  you.  Much  in 
this  case,  I  see,  will  depend  on  your  quietness  and 
self-possession.  The  girl  is  in  a  critical  condition, 
and  any  show  of  fear  on  your  part  may  work  to  her 
injury.  Be  a  man  for  her  sake  ;  master  yourself, 
and  be  calm.  A  hopeful  exterior  in  you,  will  be 
better  for  her  than  any  medicine  I  can  give  her.  So 
you  see,  her  case  is  more  in  j-our  hands  than  in 
mine.  Sue  Blunt  is  a  very  sensible  girl,  and  you 
must  have  her  stay  till  the  crisis  is  reached.  The 
Hymore  family  have  to  give  attention  to  the  old 
lady  who  is  worse  off  than  usual,  so  you  cannot  ex- 
pect much  help  from  them.  If  Kate  Brooks  could 
come  over  and  relieve  Sue  occasionally  it  would  be 
well,  for  she  is  the  only  girl  in  town  who  is  Sue's 
superior  in  practical  sense,  in  such  a  case  of  emer- 
gency ;  but  I  fear  Kate  is  yet  too  feeble  to  endure 


434  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

it.     You  had  better  have  your  friend,  Jo  Stoker,  go 
for  Miss  Mary's  father." 

In  less  than  an  hour,  Philip  had  Jo  on  his  way  to 
Wildeden,  to  convey  the  unpleasant  intelligence  to 
the  Allerton  family. 

When  Philip  came  again  into  Mary's  room,  she 
seemed  to  be  looking  for  him  and  welcomed  him, 
with  a  smile  of  eagerness,  love  and  inquiry.  As 
Sue,  Bob  and  the  doctor  had  gone  to  other  apart- 
ments to  prepare  some  remedies,  Philip  stooped 
over  and  kissed  Mary's  lips,  and  gave  her  the  bene- 
fit of  all  the  hopefulness  he  could  summon  to  his 
face.  Not  a  fear  seemed  to  cross  her  mind.  Philip 
was  by  her  side ;  and  the  highest  warmth  of  life  and 
hope  to  her  was  embodied  in  him.  Her  voice  was 
low,  but  Philip's  ready  ear  caught  every  word. 

"Philip,  my  dear,  you  don't  think  there  is  any 
danger  in  my  case,  do  you  ?  Why  do  you  stay  here 
so  late?  Nothing  could  gratify  me  more  than  to 
have  you  near  me.  But  you  desired  that  our  rela- 
tions to  each  other  should  not  be  discovered  by  the 
people  here ;  it  might  work  to  your  prejudice,  and 
impede  your  usefullness.  If  you  stay  here  all  night, 
looking  after  my  welfare,  and  ministering  to  my 
comfort,  it  will  not  be  twenty-four  hours  before  gos- 
sip will  be  busy  with  our  names.  I  want  to  do  all 
for  you,  Philip.  All  I  am,  or  expect,  is  for 
you.  Go  and  rest,  and  I  will,  in  the  morning  be 
better  for  sleep.  Sue  and  Jennie  will  stay  with 


GONE  So  SOON.  435 

me.  You  won't  leave  me  to-night  Philip?  You 
want  to  see  me  safe  through  this  night  ?  Have  you 
any  fear  of  me  ?  I  have  none  myself,  I  am  only  a 
little  faint  now  and  then.  Jennie,  please  hand  me 
that  wine." 

r!ne  wine  added  to  her  animation,  and  Jennie 
whispered  to  her : 

' '  Allow  Philip  to  stay,  Mary.  It  is  more  like 
home  with  him  here. "  And  she  raised  her  voice 
slightly,  and  went  on  :  "  All  the  others  are  kind, 
very  kind,  but  no  one  here  loves  you,  like  Philip 
and  I.  He  must  stay.  Let  people  talk.  It  will 
hurt  no  one,  to  know  the  truth.  Philip's  not 
ashamed  of  you,  and  " — Philip  broke  in  here: 

"No,  Mary,  no,  I  am  proud  of  you ;  all  the 
world  may  know  how  much  you  are  to  me." 

Mary  smiled,  and  Jennie  went  on : 

"You're  not  ashamed  of  Philip,  I  know." 

"You  two,"  said  Mary,  "arrange  it  between 
you.  I  am  content.  Let  me  rest  now  for 
awhile." 

In  a  few  moments  Bob,  Sue  and  the  doctor  came 
in,  and  as  soon  as  they  raised  her  up  the  blood 
flowed  from  her  mouth.  Sue  sat  among  the  pillows 
behind  her  and  held  her  in  her  arms,  while  the  doc- 
tor adjusted  the  bowl  to  prevent  the  blood  from 
staining  the  bed.  After  the  hemorrhage  had  ceased, 
and  her  head  lay  upon  Sue's  shoulder,  she  gave  a 
beseeching  look  toward  Philip,  and  with  what  com 


436  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

posure  he  could  summon,  he  hastened  to  her  side, 
and  she  laid  her  hand  in  his,  and  turning  her  eyes 
to  his  with  a  look  of  love  and  helplessness,  she 
whispered : 

"Where  is  Jennie?" 

Jennie  came  in  a  moment,  her  eyes  full  of  tears, 
and  every  nerve  throbbing  with  emotion,  said  : 

"  Mary,  dear,  I  am  here,  what  can  I  do  for  you  ?" 
and  the  child's  distinct  utterance,  and  cheerful  tone 
showed  the  power  she  had  over  herself. 

"Jennie,  stand  by  the  side  of  Philip,  close,  so 
I  can  see  you  both  without  effort." 

Here  the  blood  came  from  her  mouth  again,  and 
when  it  ceased,  and  she  recovered  herself,  she 
said: 

"Doctor,  you  are  very  kind,  and,  Sue,  I  love  you, 
and  1  thank  you  very  much,  and,  Bob,  you  have 
been  very  good.  I  thank  you  all,  but  I'll  not  need 
your  help  much  further.  You'll  bear  with  me, 
I  know,  while  I  say  in  your  presence  what  people 
generally  say  alone. " 

And  she  looked  Philip  full  in  the  face  with  all 
the  love  of  a  wholesouled,  noble  girl,  that  she  was, 
and  continued : 

' '  I  see,  Philip,  that  it  was  right  for  you  to  stay 
with  me  to-night ;  your  fears  are  true.  I  will  not 
see  the  morning.  It  is  a  great  comfort,  Philip,  to 
have  you  here ;  the  gloom  would  have  been  dread- 
ful without  you.  I  never  could  tell  how  much  I 


GONE  So  SOON.  437 

loved  you.  I  cannot  tell  it  now.  I  am  calmer  now. 
There  is  no  selfishness  in  me  now.  Father  and 
mother  (O,  I  wish  they  were  here,)  objected  to  our 
engagement ;  not  because  they  did  not  esteem  you, 
Philip.  They  loved  me.  They  were  only  afraid 
that  I  would  not  be  as  comfortable,  Philip,  as  if  you 
were  settled.  I  want  you  to  feel  right  toward 
them." 

The  doctor  suggested : 

"Miss  Allerton,  you  are  so  feeble,  I  am  afraid 
you  will  exhaust  yourself.  Rest  a  few  minutes  and 
then  renew  the  conversation." 

"Doctor,  you  are  very  kind,"  said  she,  "I  ap- 
preciate you,  and  thank  you ;  you  have  done  your 
best ;  but  you  know — your  eyes  tell  me — I  am  be- 
yond your  help.  I  shall  not  be  here  in  the  morn- 
ing;" and  turning  her  eyes  once  more  to  Philip, 
and  holding  his  hand,  she  said  further:  "Philip,  it 
did  me  a  world  of  good,  to  hear  you  preach  yesterday. 
You  reach  people's  hearts.  There  is  nothing  grand- 
er and  better  than  to  be  an  instrument  in  turning 
hearts  right.  What  are  money,  fame,  honor,  without 
hearts  ?  Love  the  people,  all  people ;  love  the  worst 
of  them,  Philip,  and  try  to  help  them.  I  see  and 
feel  that  they  will  let  you  into  their  hearts.  Take 
my  love ;  you  have  had  the  most  and  best  of  it ; 
give  it  to  them.  Some  of  them  will  say  hard  and 
bitter  things  about  you ;  don't  let  that  keep  you 


438  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

from  loving  them.  You  can't  do  much  for  them 
without  loving  them.  There  is  no  greater  work 
than  making  bad  men  good.  The  people  are 
greater  than  all  other  things  in  the  world  together. 
What  are  sculpture,  painting  and  palaces  compared 
to  those  who  create  them  ?  What  are  arts,  science 
and  learning,  as  compared  to  those  who  produce 
them  ?  The  lowest  heart  is  worth  all  outward  im- 
provements. No  prosperity  can  compare  with  the 
prosperity  of  souls.  The  glory  and  happiness  of 
the  world  consists  in  the  character  of  the  people. 
We  talk  of  our  glorious  climate,  and  soil,  and 
achievements,  but  people  are  abpve  all.  He  who 
helps  man,  to  be  worthy  of  the  name,  stands  in  the 
highest  honor  of  human  effort.  You  will  think, 
sometimes,  that  you  are  accomplishing  very  little ; 
but,  Philip,  kindness  and  love  are  never  lost ;  there 
is  no  waste  to  them ;  love  and  hearts  are  about  all 
there  are  in  this  world  that  have  eternity  in 
them." 

Turning  her  eyes  towards  her  sister,  she  said  : 
' '  Tell  my  blessed  father  and  mother,  and  my 
dear  brothers,  that  I  died  serene  and  peaceful.  I 
go  where  hearts  and  love  are  all.  Jennie,  you  are 
the  only  daughter  now ;  be  kind  to  all  the  house, 
especially  to  father  and  mother,  as  they  grow  old. 
Tell  them,  their  love  for  me  is  an  infinite  comfort  to 
me  now.  In  a  few  moments  there  will  be  another 


GONE  So  SOON.  43  9 

hemorrhage ;  and  that  will  be  the  last.  Let  me 
shake  hands  with  all  of  you.  Good-by.  How 
kind  you  all  have  been.  And  Philip  " — 

Here  the  blood  rushed  again  from  her  mouth,  and 
she  spoke  no  more ;  for  within  less  than  an  hour 
she  was  gone. 


44O  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER  XLIX. 

BOB  IN  PRISON. 

Mary's  death  occurred  in  May.  For  a  time 
Philip  went  in  and  out  before  his  people  in  sadness. 
He  said  but  little  about  his  sorrow,  and  all  tendency 
to  gossip  was  overcome  by  the  tragic  fate  of  his 
beloved.  The  hearts  of  the  people  generally  gath- 
ered around  him  in  sympathy.  His  manly  fortitude 
and  silent  grief  added  gravity  to  his  bearing,  and  his 
experience  in  suffering  gave  him  a  readier  access  to 
those  who  were  bound  and  breaking  under  the  bur- 
dens of  affliction. 

The  first  year  of  Philip's  ministry  closed  about 
the  last  of  September,  and  he  was  removed  from 
Doubletown  and  appointed  preacher  in  charge  in  the 
young  city  of  Rushingo.  He  had  the  satisfaction 
of  seeing  Bob  settled  into  habits  of  diligent 
study,  with  a  mastery  over  his  evil  ways ;  and  so 
cultivating  his  better  capacities,  that  he  gave  assu- 
rance for  a  useful  and  honorable  future.  Through 
his  agency  and  attentions  Jo  Stoker  had  been 
brought  into  sobriety,  industry  and  self  respect. 
Mr.  Sackett,  the  pedlar,  acknowledged  his  assist- 
ance in  overcoming  his  infidel  tendencies,  and  in 
acquiring  more  exalted  views  of  manhood  and 


BOB  IN  PRISON.  441 

higher  aims  in  life  than  he  had  ever  before  attained, 
and  he  so  far  advanced  that  he  had  abandoned 
the  bottle  and  profanity,  and  became  a  regular  atten- 
dant at  church.  Even  DeKalb,  since  the  departure 
of  Kate,  had  become  his  friend,  to  the  utmost 
extent  of  his  narrow  nature,  and  was  loth  to  part 
with  him. 

Old  Christopher  Sighgold,  fearing  lest  another 
accident  would  befall  his  money,  determined  to 
invest  the  most  of  it  in  land.  At  that  time  vast 
tracts  of  prairie  could  be  purchased  in  Illinois  at  the 
government  rates  of  one  dollar  and  twenty-five 
cents  an  acre.  So,  in  a  few  weeks  after  Philip  had 
left  the  Doubletown  circuit,  Sighgold  induced  Bob 
to  accompany  him  to  the  United  States  land  office, 
at  Palestine.  Bob  had  secured  the  old  gentleman's 
confidence  in  the  affair  of  the  robbers  and  the  sav- 
ing of  his  money,  and  he  was  afraid  to  make  the 
journey  alone. 

They  went  on  horseback.  For  some  reason  the 
old  man  did  not  lay  out  in  land  more  than  two- 
thirds  of  the  money  he  took  with  him.  On  their 
return  they  stopped  to  visit  Philip  at  Rushingo, 
which  lay  in  their  route.  Sighgold  presented  Philip 
with  a  patent  for  one.  hundred  and  sixty  acres  of 
the  land  he  had  bought  as  a  mark  of  his  gratitude 
for  the  part  he  had  taken  in  saving  his  money  some 
months  before.  The  same  was  done  for  Bob,  and 


442  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

Jo  Stoker.  The  patent  was  made  out  in  their 
respective  names. 

After  leaving  Philip  the  old  man  concluded  to 
visit  some  of  his  relatives,  and  so  they  parted, 
and  Bob  proceeded  homeward  without  him.  Day 
after  day  passed,  and  Sighgold  did  not  return. 
Word  came  from  the  relatives  he  intended  to 
visit  that  he  had  aot  been  there.  The  horse  had 
come  home  without  him.  His  friends  were  alarmed  ; 
a  search  was  made,  and  it  was  found  that  he  had 
been  robbed  and  cruelly  murdered.  His  body  was 
found  in  a  thicket  a  short  distance  from  the  road, 
and  not  far  from  where  Bob  said  he  had  parted  with 
him. 

No  clue  could  be  found  of  the  assassin.  A  large 
reward  was  offered  for  his  apprehension,  and  every 
constable  and  sheriff  in  that  part  of  the  country 
were  on  the  alert  to  discover  him  if  possible.  Of 
course  everybody  had  to  talk  the  matter  over,  and 
furnish  a  theory  as  to  who  could  be  guilty  of  the 
crime. 

It  was  known  that  Bob  was  the  last  one  seen  in 
his  company.  And  it  began  to  be  talked  about,  by 
those  who  know  and  attend  to  every  business  on 
earth  better  than  their  own,  that  Bob  likely  knew 
more  than  he  cared  to  tell.  And  there  were  some 
eager,  restless  people  who  could  not  be  satisfied 
until  some  one  was  sacrificed  to  unravel  the  mys- 
tery ;  and  they  nodded  to  each  other,  and  looked 


BOB  IN  PRISON.  443 

wise  and  awe-struck,  and  whispered  it  to  and  fro, 
' '  It's  likely  enough  that  feller  that  was  last  seen 
with  him  did  the  deed." 

Bob's  friends  hooted  at  the  idea  of  his  having 
anything  to  do  with  so  dark  a  crime.  But  there 
were  many  who  neither  knew  Bob  nor  cared  for 
him ;  and  a  couple  of  officials,  stimulated  by  the 
offered  reward,  and  desiring  to  perform  some  act 
that  would  show  they  were  looking  after  the  welfare 
of  the  people,  determined  to  pry  about,  and,  if 
possible,  discover  evidence  that  would  point  to  him 
as  the  guilty  party.  By  some  means  they  gathered 
up  a  few  incidents,  which  led  them  to  procure  a 
warrant  for  Bob's  arrest. 

So  one  dark  evening,  as  he  was  coming  down  the 
stairs  from  his  room,  these  two  officers  met  him  at 
the  lower  door,  and  thrust  a  pistol  in  his  face ;  and 
irons  were  put  on  his  hands,  and  a  handkerchief 
was  tied  tightly  over  his  mouth,  and  he  was  hurried 
to  a  horse  close  by  and  compelled  to  mount,  and 
his  feet  were  tied  under  the  horse's  body,  and  away 
they  went  with  him  to  prison. 

As  the  horrible  deed  was  committed  in  the  county 
where  Philip  lived,  he  was  taken  to  the  town  of  his 
old  friend,  and  lodged  in  jail.  Philip  lost  no  time  in 
calling  on  him ;  and  was,  after  some  ceremony, 
admitted  within  the  dismal  precincts  of  the  old  log 
man-trap.  He  went  inside  his  cell,  and  shook 


THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

hands  with  him  as  cordially  as  if  nothing  wrong  had 
been  done. 

"My  old  friend,"  said  Philip,  "I  am  glad  to  see 
you  ;  I  have  faith  in  you,  Bob." 

'  "Thank  you.  Set  down  on  this  old  straw  bed  ; 
you  see,  I  have  no  chair  or  stool  to  offer  you,"  said 
Bob,  as  coolly  and  composedly  as  if  he  were  in  the 
old  room  where  the  two  had  spent  so  many  pleas- 
ant hours  together.  Philip  was  more  agitated  than 
the  prisoner.  He  felt  that  he  had  been  wronged, 
and  he  determined  to  do  his  utmost  to  right  him. 

"Tell  me,  Bob,  if  I  can  be  of  any  service  to 
you ;  you  can  command  me  to  the  utmost  of  my 
capacity.  I  have  not  the  slightest  doubt  of  your 
innocence." 

"Thank  you,  Mr.  Force,  I  think  it  must  all  come 
right.  I  do  not  know  what  evidence  they  can 
possibly  have  to  implicate  me.  The  only  circum- 
stance that  I  know  of  that  could  have  any  weight 
on  any  one's  mind,  is  the  fact  that  I  was  the  last 
one  seen  with  Mr.  Sighgold  before  he  was  found 
dead.  That,  I  suppose,  is  the  cause  of  this  impris- 
onment." 

The  sheriff  of  the  county  was  a  member  of 
Philip's  church,  so,  after  his  first  interview,  there 
was  no  difficulty  in  his  visiting  him  as  often  as  he 
desired. 

Bob  was  not  in  this  durance  vile  more  than  forty- 
eight  hours  before  Sue  was  by  his  side.  Her  father 


BOB  IN  PRISON.  445 

and  mother  both  objected  to  her  going,  and  advised 
her  to  keep  away  from  Bob  until  it  was  seen  how 
the  evidence  turned  out. 

"Sue,  my  daughter,"  said  Mr.  Blunt,  "if  the 
case  should  go  against  him,  you  will  tarnish  your 
reputation  by  taking  so  much  interest  in  him,  and 
you  will  bring  more  or  less  odium  on  the  whole 
family." 

Sue  straightened  up  to  her  full  height,  her  eyes 
flashing  with  determination,  and  respectfully  sur- 
veying her  father,  as  if  she  had  measured  all  the 
bearings  of  her  hazardous  enterprise,  and  deliber- 
ately replied : 

"Father,  I  appreciate  your  feelings  in  this  mat- 
ter. You  are  at  liberty  to  say  that  I  went  contrary 
to  your  wishes.  Ordinarily,  you  know,  I  have  too 
much  love  for  you  and  mother  to  disregard  your 
preferences,  but  I  would  reproach  myself  as  long  as 
I  lived,  and  wouldn't  be  worthy  of  you,  if  I  did  not 
show  to  Bob  my  faith  in  his  innocence.  I  am 
going,  if  they  hang  me  with  him." 

Philip  found  a  place  for  Sue  in  a  pleasant  family, 
and  arranged  that  one  of  the  most  respectable 
ladies  of  the  place  should  be  her  escort  in  her 
visits  to  Bob.  At  first  sight,  Bob  rather  regretted 
that  she  had  ventured  to  risk  so  much  as  to  identify 
her  fortunes  with  his  at  this  particular  time,  and 
under  the  present  circumstances. 

"Bob,"   said  Sue,    "I  know  you  think  I  have 


446  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

gone  too  far  by  coming  over  to  see  you.  But  I 
could  not  rest;  I  could  not  respect  myself;  I  could 
not  feel  that  my  regard  for  you  was  worth  a  place 
in  my  soul  if  I  had  not  come  at  such  a  time ;  and  I 
intend  to  stay  and  see  it  out.  Are  your  friends  to 
help  you,  and  your  best  friend  to  stay  away  from 
you  ?  If  I  was  away,  you  might  doubt  me ;  but 
when  you  see  my  face  and  hear  my  voice,  you  can- 
not doubt  me.  I  should  be  miserable,  Bob,  if  I 
thought  you  doubted  me. " 

"I  don't  doubt  you,  Sue,"  said  Bob,  "I  never 
expect  to  doubt  you ;  but  this,  at  best,  is  a  dark, 
uncomfortable  business,  and  it  annoys  me  some  to 
be  the  occasion  of  leading  you  into  so  much 
trouble." 

"Trouble  is  not  the  name  for  it;  it  would  be 
trouble  not  to  be  here.  I  wish  I  could  bear  it  all 
for  you,  Bob.  You  must  let  me  be  with  you.  I 
must  see  you  every  day.  I  have  come  to  stay  till 
the  case  is  settled." 

While  she  was  saying  this,  she  looked  the  picture 
of  love,  firmness  and  devotion,  and  queenly  inde- 
pendence. And  although  Bob  felt  to  reproach 
himself  that  events  had  induced  her  to  tax  herself 
so  much  for  him,  yet  he  could  not  but  be  cheered 
and  encouraged  by  her  sacrifice  in  his  behalf. 


TRIP  To  INDIANAPOLIS.  447 


CHAPTER  L. 

TRIP  TO    INDIANAPOLIS. 

Court  was  to  set  in  twenty  days.  Philip  busied 
himself  to  find  out,  upon  what  testimony  it  was 
expected  to  implicate  .Bob.  But  the  different  links 
of  facts,  that  were  intended  to  criminate  him  were 
mysteriously  concealed,  until  they  should  be  called 
for  on  the  trial. 

Some  days  after  the  arrest  Philip  called,  as  usual, 
at  the  postoffice  for  his  mail.  He  found,  among 
other  letters,  one  beautifully  addressed  and  post- 
marked "  Indianapolis,  Indiana."  For  some  reason 
he  put  this  Indianapolis  letter  carefully  into  his  in- 
side pocket  unopened,  until  he  should  read  all  the 
others.  And,  somehow,  all  the  while  he  was  read- 
ing and  looking  over  the  other  papers  and  letters 
his  thoughts  would  run  after  the  one  unopened,  as 
if  he  were  trying  to  guess  its  contents.  When  he 
first  looked  at  the  handwriting  of  the  superscrip- 
tion, a  blush  spread  over  his  face,  and  his  blood  ran 
faster.  When  he  was  ready  to  give  it  full  attention, 
he  opened  it  cautiously,  and  read  as  follows : 


THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

INDIANAPOLIS,  Ind.,  Nov.  3,  18 — . 
Rev.  PHILIP  FORCE,  Rushingo,  111. 

My  dear  friend:  At  sight  of  my  name,  you  will  be  sur- 
prised at  my  writing  to  you,  as  you  have  not  written  to  me. 
But  when  you  read  all  this  letter,  I  know  you  well  enough  to 
feel  that  you  will  appreciate  my  motive. 

My  aunt,  with  whom  I  am  living,  has  long  been  accustomed 
to  relieve  some  of  the  poor,  wretched  families  in  her  neighbor- 
hood. 

Occasionally  I  have  gone  with  her,  and  after  I  have  become 
acquainted  with  them,  have  sometimes  gone  to  some  of  them 
alone.  One  middle-aged  man,  I  think  will  die.  I  go  to  see  him 
every  few  days.  His  mental  distress  seemed  to  wear  and  waste 
him  more  than  his  disease.  He  would  talk  often  as  if  he  were 
oppressed  with  some  dark  secret.  As  his  confidence  in  me  in 
creased,  he  divulged  many  terrible  things  in  his  criminal  life. 
Yesterday  he  was  more  communicative  than  ever,  and  desired 
that  I  should  pay  particular  attention  to  what  he  had  to  say.  I 
was  shocked  beyond  measure  by  what  he  told  me.  He  said  he 
had  killed  Uncle  Sighgold,  and  hid  his  money  in  a  certain 
place,  and  if  I  would  bring  with  me  some  man,  who  could  look 
after  the  money,  and  for  whose  honesty  and  integrity  I  would 
vouch,  he  would  give  directions  so  that  most  of  the  money 
could  be  recovered,  and  that  probably  he  might  thus  prevent 
an  innocent  person  from  suffering  for  his  crime.  He  made  me 
vow  that  I  would  not  make  the  secret  known,  excepting  alone 
to  the  party  who  was  to  look  after  the  case. 

I  told  him,  I  would  send  for  you.  He  assented  at  once,  and 
said,  you  were  the  very  man.  By  a  letter  from  home,  I  had  al- 
ready heard  of  the  dreadful  murder,  and  also  the  distressing 
news,  that  Robert  Scales  was  arrested  as  the  supposed  murder- 
er. Come,  if  possible,  and  see  the  man.  If  you  cannot  come, 
tell  me  what  to  do.  Don't  delay,  for  the  man  is  very  sick,  and 
cannot  live  long. 

Such  are  my  reasons  for  writing.     I  know  you  are  a  strong 


TRIP  To  INDIANAPOLIS.  449 

friend  of  Mr.  Scates,  and  I  learn  he  is  in  prison  in  your  town, 
and  that  you  will  give  this  matter  the  attention  it  demands. 

Give  him  my  regards,  and  tell  him,  I  knotv  he  is  innocent. 

Sue,  heaven  bless  her,  how  she  must  be  distressed.  I  could 
not  help  crying  for  her,  when  I  heard  what  had  happened. 
I  know  she  will  never  forsake  Mr  Scates.  The  trouble  will 
only  make  her  more  attached  to  him. 

I  am  ever  your  friend, 

KATE  BROOKS. 

Philip  read  this  letter  over  three  or  four  times, 
and  thought  how  the  tangled  threads  of  life  often 
unravel.  He  then  called  to  see  Sue.  She  had  just 
gone  to  pay  her  visit  to  the  old  log  prison.  To  find 
her  there  accorded  with  his  designs.  As  soon  as  the 
turnkey  had  let  him  through  the  great  clumsy  door, 
and  brought  him  up  to  the  dark  cell  where  Bob  was 
confined,  one  of  the  great  muscular  keepers,  with 
jaws  like  a  bull  dog,  stood  by  the  door  in  attend- 
ance upon  the  ladies,  who  were  conversing  with  the 
prisoner.  With  a  clumsy  swagger,  he  gave  Philip 
a  condescending  grin  of  recognition. 

"Good  mornin',  Mr.  Force,"  said  he,  "the 
ladies  is  huyr,  walk  this  way."  And  he  looked  as 
if  he  felt  that  Philip  was  an  humble  petitioner  on  his 
authority. 

Philip  humored  his  assumptions,  and  hoped  he 
was  well,  and  was  obliged  to  him  for  his  kindness, 
and  by  this  time  he  came  close  to  the  parties  he  was 
searching  for. 


45O  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"Good  morning,  ladies;  Bob,  I  am  happy  to 
see  you." 

"  Good  morning, "  said  Bob,  "your  seeing  any 
one  in  this  dark  hole,  is  rather  a  grim  joke,  but  it 
rejoices  me  to  hear  your  voice,  and  know  you  are 
here." 

"I  suppose,"  said  Sue,  "you  can  hardly  see  me, 
Mr.  Force." 

"  I  knew  you  were  here,  Sue,"  said  Philip. 

When  he  found  that  the  lubberly  keeper  was  not 
in  hearing  distance,  but  was  looking  out  of  the 
grated  window  a  little  way  off,  and  interesting  him- 
self with  a  dog  fight  that  was  going  on  out  in  the 
street,  Philip  began  to  tell  what  he  came  for. 

"I  have,"  said  he,  "some  good  news  for  you, 
Sue  and  Bob ;  excuse  me,  there  is  such  a  oneness 
to  you  that  I  include  you  both. " 

When  he  had  read  over  Kate's  letter,  Sue  wiped 
her  eyes,  and  exclaimed : 

"That  Kate  is  the  most  blessed  girl  on  earth. 
I  was  afraid,  after  she  came  among  the  upper  ten 
thousand  at  Indianapolis,  and  is  to  have  the  largest 
share  of  her  aunt's  wealth,  that  she  would  forget 
her  old  friends.  Well,  thank  the  Lord,  I  have 
found  one  girl  in  the  world  that  has  too  much  sense 
to  have  her  head  turned  by  money  and  position  ;  I 
wish  I  had  her  in  my  arms  now.  Mr.  Force,  you 
will  go  over  and  see  that  man,  wont  you  ?  I  know 


TRIP  To  INDIANAPOLIS.  451 

it's  asking  too  much  of  you.  We  owe  you,  already, 
a  thousand  times  more  than  we  can  pay.  But  I 
know  you  will  see  us  through  this  trial." 

"Sue  seems,  Mr.  Force,  to  concern  herself  as 
much  as  if  she  were  on  trial  herself,"  said  Bob, 
playfully. 

"I  intend  to  go  immediately,"  said  Philip,  "but 
I  wanted  to  let  you  both  know  that  light  was  break- 
ing in."  Philip  looked  around  to  see  if  the  prison 
guard  could  hear  him,  but  that  individual  was  still 
looking  out  of  the  old  window,  with  much  interest, 
for  the  dog  fight  had  ended  in  a  row  among  some 
of  the  men.  "I  am  ready  to  receive  any  sugges- 
tions you  may  have  to  make  before  I  start.  I  am 
of  the  opinion  that  it  would  be  best  for  all  of  us  to 
keep  quiet  about  the  contents  of  this  letter,  until 
we  find  whether  we  can  get  the  wretched  man's 
statement  into  legal  shape.  If  a  word  is  said  about 
it,  the  whole  hope  may  turn  to  disappointment." 
Secrecy  was  pledged,  and  no  intimations  were  to  be 
given  of  the  reasons  for  Philip's  absence. 

He  reached  Indianapolis  about  sundown,  after 
two  days'  hard  travel,  on  horseback.  He  was  re- 
ceived by  Mrs.  Thornton,  with  becoming  con- 
descension and  stateliness.  When  he  made  known 
to  her  his  name  and  the  object  of  his  visit,  she 
subsided,  somewhat,  into  kindliness  and  cordiality. 

' '  Miss  Catharine  knows  more   about  this  case, 


45 2  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

Mr.  Force,  than  I  do.  She  will  be  in,  in  a  few  mo- 
ments. She  seems  to  have  taken  quite  an  interest 
in  the  man  and  his  terrible  history." 

While  the  aunt  was  yet  speaking,  Kate  came  in  ; 
and  when  she  shook  hands  with  Philip,  there  was  a 
recurrence  of  the  old  time  blushes. 

"I  am  so  glad,"  said  Kate,  "to  see  you,  Mr. 
Force.  Do  tell  me  how  Sue  and  Robert  stand  it." 

Forty  other  questions  were  asked  and  answered. 
Kate  was  the  picture  of  vivacity  and  loveliness. 
There  was  the  same  quiet  power  of  conquest  in  her 
bright  blue  eyes  that  had  well  nigh  enslaved  Philip 
in  former  days.  She  was  more  elegantly  dressed 
than  she  was  accustomed  to  be  in  the  Doubletown 
Inn.  But  the  two  were  so  fully  interested  in  look- 
ing after  the  welfare  of  others  now,  that  they  were 
hindered  from  being  entirely  absorbed  with  each 
other.  And  it  was  evident,  with  all  Kate's  cor- 
diality and  pleasure,  that  she  was  more  reserved 
and  dignified  in  her  manner  toward  Philip,  than  she 
was  a  year  before.  Philip  saw  this,  and  felt  it,  and 
thought  over  it,  till  it  disturbed  him. 

Mrs.  Thornton  regretted  very  much  that  her  man 
who  managed  the  horses  and  carriage  had  gone  that 
afternoon,  not  to  return  till  morning,  and  she  sug- 
gested that  they  had  better  defer  their  visit  to  the 
sick  man's  room  till  next  day.  But  the  two  young 
people  concluded,  they  would  as  soon  walk,  and  a 


TRIP  To  INDIANAPOLIS. 

delay  might  be  fatal.  Mrs.  Thornton  had  a  lantern 
prepared  for  them,  for  at  that  time  the  streets  of 
the  capital  of  Indiana  were  without  the  benefit 
of  gas. 


4$4  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER   LI. 

THE    DYING    REPROBATE. 

The  night  was  dark,  and  the  clouds  and  mist 
reached  to  the  ground.  Even  a  lamp  could  scarcely 
be  seen  across  the  street,  when  Philip  and  Kate 
started.  They  slipped  and  groped  first  on  brick 
pavements  and  then  on  planks  that  were  nailed 
down,  with  every  fifth  one  or  so  now  loose,  which 
generally  tipped  up  at  one  end.  Then  they  came 
to  a  few  warped  and  scattered  boards  that  were 
short,  and  of  all  widths,  laying  as  if  pitched  out  by 
the  side  of  the  fence  to  keep  passers  out  of  the  soft 
earth.  Further  along  there  was  a  mixture  of  sand, 
gravel,  water  and  mud,  with  neither  bricks  nor 
boards.  Then  they  turned  off  on  a  back  street  and 
went  a  few  blocks.  Curs  and  rat-terriers  were  in 
full  chorus,  on  the  principle  of  boys  whistling  in  the 
dark  to  keep  their  courage  up.  To  them  Philip's 
lantern,  was  like  a  red  flag  to  a  bull.  The  darkness 
and  mist,  and  slippery  walks,  and  occasional  clumps 
of  wet  weeds  and  grass,  and  ditches  and  holes,  and 
piles  of  brick,  mortar  and  tangled  lumber  and  rub- 
bish, and  meeting  rough  men  and  women,  and  be- 
ing beset  by  persistent,  unmannerly  dogs,  and  bal- 
ancing the  umbrella  and  lantern,  and  the  two 


THE  DYING  REPROBATE.  455 

trying  to  keep  each  other  from  falling,  prevented 
this  from  being  a  very  poetical  or  sentimental  walk. 
There  were  so  many  stale  and  flat  things  to  dampen 
and  impress  them  from  above  and  below,  and  from 
every  side,  that  all  internal  fires  burned  dimly. 

' '  Do  you  remember  when  we  first  walked  to- 
gether, Miss  Brooks?"  Philip  ventured  to  remark 
soon  after  they  started. 

' '  Oh,  I  do.  I  have  thought  of  that  walk  many 
a  time.  Would  you,  Mr.  Force,  just  as  soon  call 
me  Kate,  as  of  old  ?  Miss  Brooks  is  too  formal  for 
the  use  of  an  old  friend,  from  the  old  home." 

' '  I  will  say  Kate,  certainly,  if  that  pleases  you. 
And  will  you  please  me  by  calling  me  Philip,  plain 
Philip?" 

Kate  listened  with  careful  attention  to  every  thing 
he  had  to  say  of  Bob  and  Sue,  and  her  former 
friends.  When  he  came  to  repeat  Sue's  remark, 
about  fearing  lest  Kate's'  prosperity  and  new  posi- 
tion, had  led  her  to  forget  her  old  friends,  new  vigor 
came  to  her  voice,  as  she  said : 

"O,  Mr.  Force! — there,  excuse  me,  Philip,  I 
will  try  and  call  you  as  you  like — how  could  any 
friend  of  mine  think  so  ?" 

And  when  Philip  told  her  how  Sue  cried,  when 
he  read  Kate's  letter  to  her,  and  how  she  wanted  to 
take  her  in  her  arms,  and  said  she  was  the  best  girl 
in  the  world ;  and  the  words  came  from  him  with 
such  fulness  of  feeling  and  enthusiasm,  that  the 


456  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

old  quivering  came  to  her  nerves,  and  her  pulse 
fluttered,  and  the  tears  were  in  her  eyes. 

They  were  now  at  the  door  of  the  old,  one-story 
house.  The  lock  was  riot  turned  to  admit  them 
until  the  cautious  inmates  had  inquired  of  their 
identity.  As  soon  as  Kate  spoke  out  distinctly,  the 
door  flew  open,  and  she  and  Philip  were  bolted 
within. 

The  floor  was  bare.  There  were  no  decorations 
on  the  walls.  A  few  old  newspapers  were  fastened 
carefully  over  the  windows.  The  bedding,  though 
clean,  was  badly  worn.  What  relation  the  woman 
was  to  the  dying  man,  no  one  said. 

"I  hope,"  said  Kate,  "you  are  comfortable  this 
evening,  Mr.  Billings." 

"Thank  you,  Miss  Brooks,  I  am  as  comfortable 
as  a  man  in  my  condition  can  be,  I  suppose."  And 
he  gasped  for  breath  every  few  words ;  and  would 
raise  himself  on  his  elbow,  and  as  if  that  exhausted 
him  he  would  lay  back  on  his  slender  pillow. 

"This,"  said  Kate,  "is  Rev.  Mr.  Force,  whom 
I  said  I  would  bring  to  see  you." 

"  Take  seats,  Miss  Kate;  Mr.  Force,  you  haven't 
come  any  too  soon.  And  as  I  know  what  you've 
come  for,  and  my  time's  short,  I'll  begin  at  once." 
And  he  beckoned  the  woman  for  a  few  drops  of 
whiskey,  to  give  him,  as  he  said,  strength. 

"I'll  not  worry  you,  Mr.  Force,  with  my  career. 
I  was  joyous  and  bright  as  any  one  once.  But  I'll 


THE  DYING  REPROBATE.  457 

not  go  back.  I  wanted  to  tell  you  of  my  last  bad 
act ;  it  might  save  some  one.  This  angel  here, 
Miss  Kate,  said  it  would.  If  it  benefits  any  one, 
Miss  Kate  has  the  credit.  They  might  all  have  gone 
to  the  devil,  before  I'd  a'  said  a  word  about  it,  if  it 
hadn't  been  for  her.  She's  about  all  the  heaven 
I'm  afraid  I'll  ever  see.  (Philip  looked  at  Kate.) 
But  that's  not  to  the  pint.  I'll  take  a  few  drops 
more,  Sail,"  and  the  old  woman  handed  him  the 
bottle.  ' '  Now,  to  begin  :  I  am  the  man  that  es- 
caped the  night  you  saved  Sighgold's  money.  I 
dogged  his  steps  to  the  land  office.  I  saw  he  laid  out 
only  part  of  his  money.  I  watched  around  secretly  to 
lay  hands  on  all  of  it,  but  he  bought  the  land  before  I 
could  do  it.  I  was  bound  to  get  what  was  left.  I 
couldn't  safely  lay  hands  on  him  while  Bob  Scates  was 
with  him.  I  found  out  a  day  or  so  beforehand  where 
he  and  Bob  were  going  to  part.  I  got  ahead  of  them, 
and  hid  in  a  thicket  where  I  knew  the  old  man  must 
pass,  after  he  had  turned  off  the  main  road  and  Bob 
had  gone  on.  As  soon  as  the  old  man  passed  me, 
I  slipped  out  of  the  thicket  and  rode  up  behind 
him,  and  knocked  him  in  the  head,  and  dragged 
him  off  into  the  dense  underbrush.  Please  to  hand 
me  the  whiskey."  After  a  drink,  he  continued: 

' '  I  took  the  horse  into  the  woods,  and  hitched 
him,  and  took  the  small  change,  and  watch,  and 
handkerchief  from  the  old  man's  pockets.  You 
will  find,  on  the  other  side  of  the  road,  and  about 


458  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

four  rods  from  it,  and  opposite  to  where  the  body 
lay,  a  pile  of  logs  and  brush.  One  of  the  logs 
laying  on  the  ground  is  hollow,  and  in  that  hollow 
log,  I  hid  the  saddle-bags,  and  strewed  some  leaves 
loosely  over  the  end  of  it,  so  it  would  look  as  if  the 
leaves  had  been  blown  there.  The  gold,  all  but  a 
few  dollars,  is  there  now.  Hand  me  another  spoon- 
ful or  two,  Sail ;  that  whiskey's  lost  some  of  its 
strength."  After  he  had  refreshed  himself,  he 
went  on : 

"I  stained  the  old  man's  handkerchief  with 
blood.  I  kept  hid  till  night;  when  I  went  to 
Doubletown,  and  took  the  watch  and  bloody  hand- 
kerchief and  placed  them  under  the  stair  steps,  that 
you  know  goes  up  to  Bob  Scates'  room  at  the  back 
of  the  house.  I  knew  Bob  was  last  seen  with  the 
old  man,  and  if  they  found  the  watch  and  handker- 
chief there  that  he  would  be  suspected ;  and  I  ex- 
pect that's  what  got  him  into  the  trouble.  And 
that  is  the  reason  I  sent  for  you.  I  can't  die  and 
let  him  suffer  for  my  deeds.  Sail,  hand  me  some 
more  whiskey.  There,  I  am  done." 

Philip  had  prepared  pen  and  paper,  and  the  man 
talked  so  slow,  and  stopped  so  often  to  gain  breath, 
strength  and  whiskey,  that  there  was  but  little 
trouble  in  writing  down  his  words.  They  were 
carefully  read  over  to  him,  and  he  was  induced  to 
sign  the  paper,  and  remarked  : 


THE  DYING  REPROBATE.  459 

"Jo  Stoker  knows  my  signature  ;  ask  him  to  look 
at  it." 

As  Kate  and  Philip  threaded  their  way  back  to 
Mrs.  Thornton's,  they  talked  of  nothing  but  Bob 
and  Sue,  and  the  terrible  revelations  of  the  dying 
reprobate. 

The  next  day  he  called  upon  a  lawyer,  to  assure 
himself  whether  such  testimony  would  avail  in  free- 
ing his  friend  Bob.  It  took  more  time  to  have  the 
matter  technically  correct  than  he  had  counted  on. 
Lawyers  and  law  are  known  to  be  slow,  intricate 
and  tedious.  He  was  advised,  by  all  means,  to 
take  with  him,  a  justice  of  the  peace,  or  clerk  of 
the  county  court,  and  read  the  statement  over  to 
the  sick  man,  and  have  the  document  legally  ac- 
knowledged before  one  of  these  officers,  and  certi- 
fied to  as  genuine,  over  their  official  name  and  seal. 

Philip,  after  much  explaining  and  many  delays, 
induced  the  county  clerk  to  go  with  him  and  take 
such  measures,  as  the  lawyer  suggested.  But,  un- 
luckily, after  many  searchings,  they  could  not  find 
the  house.  He  looked  at  the  name  on  his  paper, 
and  inquired  at  many  doors,  and  of  many  people, 
and  no  one  knew  any  such  name. 

He  must  have  recourse  again  to  Kate.  He  came 
to  Mrs.  Thornton's  house  along  in  the  afternoon, 
in  an  uncomfortable  humor  with  himself,  anxious  for 
the  needed  directions.  But  neither  Kate  nor  Mrs. 
Thornton  was  at  home.  The  servants  knew  nothing 
32 


460  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

of  their  whereabouts,  excepting  that  Kate  was  at 
school,  about  a  mile  away.  As  to  Mrs.  Thornton, 
no  one  had  the  least  idea  where  she  could  be.  The 
servant  Philip  talked  with,  gave  it  as  her  opinion, 
that  she  had  gone  to  see  some  of  the  sick,  or  dead, 
or  may  be  she  had  gone  to  a  wedding,  or  a  party, 
or  a  funeral,  or  the  sewing  society. 

At  this  interesting  stage  of  the  proceeding,  the 
clerk,  with  a  shade  of  disgust,  pleaded  a  pressure 
of  business,  and  departed  for  his  office,  and  Philip 
was  left  at  Mrs.  Thornton's,  unsettled  and  baffled, 
and  felt,  as  boys  are  supposed  to  feel,  when  they 
are  described,  as  having  their  fingers  in  their 
mouths. 

The  servant  knew  that  Philip  was  the  friend  of 
the  family,  and  their  guest  the  evening  before,  and 
she  excused  herself,  and  hoped  he'd  be  seated,  and 
that  Mrs.  Thornton  would  be  back  "soon,  sure,"  and 
she  went  out. 

Philip  thought  of  the  wretch  he  had  visited,  and 
of  Bob  and  Sue,  and  of  a  few  sermons  he  had  been 
trying  to  construct,  and  of  all  his  past  defeats  and 
success,  sorrow  and  gladness ;  and  thought,  may 
be,  this  is  philosophizing,  and  then  he  thought  of 
Kate,  and  of  her  good  fortune ;  and  he  paced  the 
room,  and  looked  into  the  library,  and  opened  two 
or  three  old  books,  and  put  them  back  again,  and 
was  dissatisfied,  and  felt  foolish,  and  panted  for 


THE  DYING  REPROBATE.  461 

something,  not  yet  reached,  or  that  had  got  away 
from  him. 

About  sundown  Mrs.  Thornton  and  Kate  arrived, 
Kate  from  school  and  Mrs.  Thornton  from  Mr.  Bil- 
lings', whom  she  reported  dead.  Philip  had  prom- 
ised to  call  again  before  he  left  the  city.  But  he 
was  not  in  the  humor  for  popular  conversation.  His 
egotism  was  cut.  Here  was  a  serious  hitch,  and  he 
feared  his  sagacity  was  at  fault. 

But  he  faced  the  unpleasant  situation  like  a  man, 
and  confessed  how  foolish  he  felt  at  being  thus 
balked  in  looking  for  the  house.  Kate  apologised 
for  him,  and  blamed  herself  for  not  being  more  par- 
ticular, to  give  him  the  location ;  and  if  he  had 
found  the  house  it  would  have  done  no  good,  as  the 
poor  man  was  dead ;  and  all  this  and  much  more 
she  did  so  naturally  and  smoothly,  and  there  was 
power  in  it  all  to  bring  Philip  fully  to  himself  again, 
and  her  eyes  were  a  comfort  to  him. 

Bob's  case  was  a  serious  one.  It  had  weighed 
upon  Philip,  and  he  had  taxed  himself  to  his  ut- 
most to  help  him. 

The  next  move  was  to  bring  the  proper  officer, 
and  have  Kate  and  the  woman  where  the  man  died 
sworn  as  witnesses  to  Billings'  statement  and  sig- 
nature. 


462  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER   LII. 

THE   TRIAL. 

Bob's  trial  came  on  before  Philip  returned.  The 
evidence  against  him  was  damaging.  Sue  was 
nearly  distracted  over  Philip's  delay.  Bets  were 
freely  offered,  two  to  one,  against  the  prisoner.  He 
had  been  the  last  person  seen  about  the  murdered 
man.  The  dead  man's  watch  and  the  bloody  hand- 
kerchief were  found  under  the  steps  that  led  to  his 
room. 

Many  witnesses  from  Doubletown  and  the  coun- 
try beyond  were  there,  it  is  true,  to  testify  to  the 
previous  good  character  of  Bob.  Some  of  the  old 
citizens  admitted,  on  oath,  that  he  had  but  a  few 
years  ago  been  a  fast  and  frolicsome  youth ;  but  no 
circumstance  of  his  life  could  be  fastened  upon  to 
show  that  he  had  ever,  intentionally  and  delib- 
erately, done  a  dishonorable  act. 

But  the  crowd  in  and  around  the  court-house  was 
against  him.  And  the  average  American  juryman 
is  more  influenced  by  the  thousand  tokens  of 
opinion  manifest  among  his  neighbors  who  are 
sauntering  about  him  during  the  trial  than  he  is  by 
the  speeches  of  the  lawyers  or  the  charge  of  the 
judge.  And  a  juryman  who  has  sense  enough  to 


THE  TRIAL.  463 

weigh  evidence  and  decide  upon  it,  has  enough 
sense  to  perceive  the  opinions  of  the  multitude  of 
faces  around  him.  It  is  amusing  to  hear  a  judge 
give  solemn  charge  to  allow  no  one  of  the  jury  to 
converse  with  any  one  in  regard  to  the  case  before 
them.  There  is  a  kind  of  expression,  clear,  dis- 
tinct and  unmistakable,  coming  from  the  faces,  the 
gestures,  the  nods  and  motions  of  the  persons 
who  fill  a  court-room,  that  just  as  certainly  shows 
their  opinions  as  if  the  judge  would  invite  them 
each  to  make  a  speech.  To  prevent  this,  it  would 
be  necessary  to  blindfold  every  juryman  during  the 
progress  of  the  trial.  The  lawyer  who  is  successful 
in  defending  criminals  understands  this,  and  he  often 
bends  his  efforts  more  to  get  up  an  enthusiasm  in 
the  crowd,  in  favor  of  his  client,  than  he  does  in 
looking  after  evidence  or  making  speeches. 

Sue's  devotion  to  Bob,  her  beauty,  her  modest 
demeanor  and  womanly  grace,  and  constrained 
quietness,  had  more  power  in  favoring  him  than  all 
other  agencies  combined.  His  mother  was  long 
since  dead.  Sisters,  he  had  none.  His  two  younger 
brothers  were  at  home.  His  father  was  by  his  side, 
and  in  his  honest  face  and  manly  bearing  was 
clearly  seen  his  faith  in  his  son's  innocence. 

The  judge  was  one  of  those  cool,  phlegmatic 
men  who  seem  to  be  the  essence  of  impartiality  and 
unconcern.  He  looked  as  placid,  self-possessed  and 
barren  of  emotion  as  a  stall-fed  ox.  He  was  in  the 


464  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

habit  of  wearing  out  two  pocket-knives  in  a  year 
whittling  pine-sticks,  while  sitting  in  judgment. 

The  evidence  was  all  in,  and  the  counsel  were 
preparing  to  make  their  appeals.  The  judge  had 
been  requested  to  stay  proceeding  until  Philip's 
return.  But,  with  drawling  tones  and  in  a  dignified 
and  solemn  dullness,  he  declared : 

"It  is  idle  to  suppose  that  the  results  of  Mr. 
Force's  visionary  visit  can  be  of  any  legal  weight 
against  the  strong  array  of  circumstantial  evidence 
already  produced. " 

Bob  winced  as  if  a  thunderbolt  had  come  near 
him ;  his  eyes  drooped  for  the  first  time  during  the 
trial,  and  a  movement,  as  if  he  were  half-choking, 
was  seen  about  his  throat,  and  his  great  breast 
heaved  spasmodically  ;  his  manly  bearing  gave  way 
to  a  slight  quiver  of  rage.  Tears  danced  in  Sue's 
eyes,  and  the  fires  grew  hot,  as  if  steam  were  gene- 
rating and  an  explosion  threatened ;  but  still  she 
maintained  her  lady-like  demeanor,  and  her  only 
effort  was  to  draw  nearer  to  Bob's  side. 

Lawyers  deliberated  on  their  lines  of  procedure 
in  the  case  with  as  much  coolness  and  unconcern  as 
if  they  were  settling  the  value  of  a  yearling  colt. 
Inquisitors,  superintendents  of  guillotines,  and 
ecclesiastical  persecutors,  and  these  lawyers,  seem 
to  regard  it  as  a  proof  of  wisdom  to  be  listless  and 
unsolicitious  about  what  is  to  others  a  matter  of 
life  or  death.  Why  show  the  slightest  disturbance 


THE  TRIAL.  465 

of  spirit  when  you  know  your  victim  is  completely 
within  your  power  ?  You  can  approach  the  crush- 
ing point  by  calm  and  easy  stages.  Neroes  immo- 
late their  subjects,  butchers  slay  their  beeves,  hotel 
cooks  wring  heads  from  chickens,  and  boys  torture 
flies  much  in  the  same  spirit.  Oh,  yes,  there  are 
various  degress  of  refinement  in  the  art  of  torture. 

A  few  abstract  questions  had  to  be  discussed  and 
decided,  and  some  incidentals  and  preparations  and 
interruptions  had  to  be  looked  after  and  adjusted, 
until  the  judge  was  wearied  of  them,  or  he  had 
whittled  up  his  pine-stick  and  was  seriously  contem- 
plating the  question  of  how  he  should  get  another  ; 
and  he  changed  his  legs,  and  put  his  knife  in  his 
pocket,  and  reached  back  his  hair,  and  stuck  his 
feet  upon  his  desk,  and  threw  both  hands  together 
back  of  his  head  ;  when  some  one  familiar  with  him 
came  up  to  his  judgment  seat  and  whispered  in  his 
ear,  and  he  stopped  proceedings,  and  announced : 

"This  court  will  now  stand  adjourned  until  nine 
o'clock,  to-morrow  morning.  Sheriff,  take  the 
prisoner  to  jail." 

As  the  crowd  began  to  disperse,  he  called  out  to 
the  circle  within  the  bar : 

"  Come,  boys,  let's  take  a  horn,  and  then  have  a 
game  of  pitching  horse-shoes." 

Most  of  the  lawyers  gave  a  laughing  assent,  and 
went  into  a  rollicking  argument  as  to  who  ivas  in 
for  the  drinks! 


466  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

Philip  returned  from  his  Indianapolis  trip  late  at 
night,  and  immediately  called  upon  Bob's  lawyer 
and  stated  the  result  of  his  efforts.  Four  or  five 
reliable  citizens  came  together,  and  proceeded  at 
once  to  go  in  search  of  the  money  where  Billings 
had  concealed  it.  The  saddle-bags  were  found  just 
as  he  had  described.  And  as  they  returned  and 
were  nearing  Rushingo,  the  heavens  were  lit  up 
before  them  with  a  glare  of  light.  Not  a  soul  was 
astir  upon  the  quiet  streets.  A  roof  was  discovered 
to  be  on  fire ;  and,  to  the  horror  of  Philip  and  his 
friends,  the  flames  were  seen  to  proceed  from  the 
roof  of  the  old  log  jail. 

They  gave  the  alarm,  and  rushed  to  the  spot,  to 
hear  the  calls  of  Bob  for  help.  A  maniac  was  also 
confined  within  the  walls ;  and  as  the  flames  grew 
in  volume  and  ferocity,  the  raving  prisoner  was 
shouting  with  gladness  as  though  the  day  of  his  deliv- 
erance was  at  hand.  He  seemed  to  imagine  that  the 
final  conflagration  had  come,  and  that  he  was  about 
to  ride  to  heaven  in  a  chariot  of  fire. 

"I'll  get  to  glory  before  the  rest  of.  you  fellers 
down  there;  ye  see,  ye  crazy  sinners,  you,  I'm 
higher  up  than  the  rest  of  ye.  I've  got  this  much 
the  start.  Then  I  don't  reckon  ye're  goin'  that 
way,  no  how. 

"  'I  hope  to  shout  glory  when  the  world's  on  fire : 
Hallelujah.' ' 

After  considerable  delay  and  confusion,  a  ladder 


THE  TRIAL.  467 

was  procured  from  a  carpenter  shop  close  by,  and 
placed  by  the  upper  window.  The  prisoners'  apart- 
ments were  in  the  second  story.  The  roof  was  by 
this  time  a  sheet  of  flame.  No  one  was  found  bold 
enough  to  ascend  the  ladder,  for  it  looked  as  if  the 
burning  rafters  would  fall  any  moment.  Scarcely  a 
breath  rustled  the  leaves  or  moved  the  sheets  of  fire. 
Slowly  and  surely  the  elements  of  destruction  were 
calmly  howling  their  triumph  over  the  head  of  Bob. 
Sue  rushed  for  the  ladder,  looking  wildly  and  con- 
temptuously upon  the  panic-stricken  few  that  were 
standing  about,  and  rushing  against  one  another 
and  doing  nothing.  Philip  had  run  back  to  the 
carpenter  shop  for  an  ax  and  crowbar,  and  reached 
the  foot  of  the  ladder  just  as  Sue  was  determinedly 
trying  to  ascend  it ;  and  two  or  three  strong  men 
were  holding  her,  she  denouncing  them  as 
cowards.  Philip,  with  the  ax  and  crowbar  in  hand 
and  a  wet  handkerchief  tied  over  his  face,  told  her 
to  remain  with  the  people  below,  and  he  would  go 
to  the  rescue  of  Bob.  Philip's  voice  brought  her 
to  herself  again,  and  her  hopes  were  restored. 

With  the  aid  of  the  ax  and  crowbar,  he  forced  an 
entrance  through  the  iron  bars  of  the  window,  and 
groped  his  way  to  Bob's  cell.  By  this  time  Jo 
Stoker  was  by  his  side,  also  the  sheriff,  with  the 
keys  of  the  doors. 

As  the  ceiling  was  of  heavy  logs,  laid  close  to- 
gether, the  flames  were  kept  from  communicating 


468  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

with  the  inner  part  of  the  jail.  The  roof  fell  with 
a  crash  upon  the  upper  ceiling,  just  as  the  last  of 
the  adventurers  and  the  prisoners  were  descending 
the  ladder. 

The  maniac  had  to  be  taken  by  force  from  his 
room.  He  denounced  his  rescuers  as  so  many 
demons,  who  were  trying  to  prevent  his  ascension 
to  heaven,  exclaiming: 

' '  I  know  ye,  ye  dogs  of  death  ;  ye  want  to  drag 
me  down  to  the  bottomless  pit.  Ye've  got  yer 
horns  hid  in  yer  hats,  and  yer  tails  tucked  into  yer 
pockets,  and  ye've  got  on  men's  boots  to  hide  yer 
cloven  feet.  But  ye  can't  fool  me.  Ye  can't  trans- 
form yerselves  into  angels  of  light  so  I  don't  know 
ye.  Avaunt !  Get  ye  behind  me  !  I'm  going  to 
Paradise  on  a  streak  of  greased  lightning,  and  can't 
stop  for  groveling  mortals  doomed  to  destruction. 
Hinder  me  not,' ye  howling  dragons!  " 

Philip  assured  him  that  the  best  way  to  get  into 
his  upward-bound  chariot  was  to  come  down  and 
start  from  the  earth. 

"If  that's  you,  Mr.  Force,  I'll  do  it,  for  you 
know  the  route,"  and  he  went  along  as  quietly  as 
any  of  the  others. 

As  soon  as  Bob  reached  the  foot  of  the  ladder 
Sue  was  by  his  side,  and  wiped  the  dust  and  cinders 
from  his  face,  and  had  him  turn  his  eyes  to  the 
light,  to  assure  herself  that  he  was  uninjured. 

The  sheriff  kindly  invited  her  and  Philip  to  go 


THE  TRIAL.  469 

with  him  and  Bob  to  his  house,  to  spend  the  rest 
of  the  night.  A  voice  from  the  crowd  was  heard 
to  exdaim : 

"Ye  can't  burn  a  feller  that's  doomed  to  be 
hung  1  " 

By  this  time  the  whole  town  was  at  the  scene. 
The  old  jail  was  burned  to  ashes,  and  no  lives  lost. 

At  nine  o'clock,  the  next  morning,  the  court- 
room was  filled  to  its  utmost  capacity,  and  crowds 
were  standing  outside  looking  in,  as  they  best  could, 
at  the  doors  and  windows.  The  lawyers  looked  as 
serene  and  placid  as  cats  do  after  a  successful  foray 
on  mice.  Some  of  them  had  a  gross,  woe-begone 
expression  indicative  of  little  sleep  and  a  super- 
abundance of  whiskey.  Knots  of  heads  chattered 
away  like  hungry  crows  over  their  prey,  discussing, 
with  a  fullness  of  jeers  and  oaths  and  flings,  the 
probable  fate  of  the  prisoner. 

"  Oh,  they'll  hang  him,  sure,"  said  one. 

"  I'll  bet  my  head  on  it,"  said  another. 

"You'd  better  save  your  head,"  Said  Jo  Stoker; 
"he's  as  innocent  as  you  or  me." 

"What  do  you  know  about  it?  Maybe  you 
helped  him  some  ?  " 

"I'd  help  him  to  get  clear,  for  I  know  him.  I 
was  there  and  helped  him  to  sa»ve  that  old  feller's 
money  for  him  once.  Bob's  as  honest  as  anybody 
in  this  county,  or  any  other.  There's  no  positive 
testimony  against  him,  and  he'll  come  out  clear, 


470  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

you'll  see  that,  or  there's  no  justice  on  earth." 
And  as  Jo  passed  away  from  them,  one  of  them 
cried  after  him : 

' '  Go  to  thunder,  stranger.  What  do  you  know 
about  justice?" 

"  He'll  be  hung  !  "  yelled  another. 

"  I'm  going  to  be  at  the  hanging,"  said  a  third. 

"  He's  too  cute  to  let  'em  know  where  the  money 
is,"  said  a  fourth. 

"That'll  come  out  of  him  when  he  finds  his 
neck's  going  to  be  stretched,"  said  a  fifth,  and  he 
slapped  his  hands  together  as  if  he  'felt  that  his 
assertion  was  unanswerable. 

"  If  they  don't  hang  him,  what's  the  use  of  law, 
tell  me  that,  will  ye,  in  this  great  land  of  ours? — 
hie."  This  from  a  man  whose  blood  had  run  to 
his  head  from  his  stomach,  to  give  place  in  the 
latter  to  whiskey. 

Such  were  but  few  of  the  jibes  and  jeers  that 
came  from  the  wags  and  wits  and  soaked  sots  that 
loafed  about  the  court-room.  They  have  about  as 
much  business  there  as  flies  have  at  your  dining 
table,  and  are  there  for  a  similar  purpose.  Sneers 
and  flings  against  the  accused  greeted  the  jury  as 
they  sat  in  their  seats  full  ten  minutes  before  the 
court  was  called  to  order.  Eyes  and  gestures  often 
tell  more  than  the  lips.  Tongues  sometimes  utter 
what  is  not  felt,  and  lips  would  hide  often  the 
impulses  of  the  heart.  The  eyes,  the  features  and 


THE  TRIAL.  471 

manners  are  often  the  mind's  truest  interpreters. 
It  is  difficult  to  school  them  so  that  they  will  conceal 
inner  impulses  and  preferences.  A  glance,  a  look, 
and  the  swing  of  one's  head  will  frequently  reveal 
what  words  would  conceal  or  contradict. 

Bob  and  Sue,  and  her  lady  friend,  came  in  together, 
led  by  the  sheriff.  Bob  felt  that  the  popular  tide 
was  against  him.  Yet  he  looked  more  confident 
than-  he  did  the  day  before.  Sue  was  more  calm, 
but  her  anxiety  and  fear  would  show  on  the  well- 
collected  lines  of  her  face. 

The  sheriff  straightened  himself  up  with  all  the 
stateliness  of  a  blooded  horse  on  dress  parade,  and 
cried  his  "Oh,  yes!  "  and  business  began. 

The  counsel  for  the  defense  arose  in  his  place, 
and  said : 

"If  it  please  the  Court,  the  Reverend  Philip 
Force  is  present  with  important  testimony  in  this 
case,  and,  if  the  Court  please,  I  would  like  very 
much  to  have  it  go  to  the  jury  before  there  are  any 
further  proceedings." 

"Let  the  gentleman  be  sworn,"  said  the  court, 
looking  up  from  the  pine  shingle  which  his  honor 
was  carving  into  the  shape  of  a  shad. 

Philip  presented  his  document,  and  recounted  all 
the  pertinent  circumstances  attending  his  procuring 
it.  He  spoke  so  clear,  so  distinct,  and  seemed  to 
have  such  implicit  faith  in  Billings'  dying  statement, 
that  there  was  a  decided  change  manifest  among 


472  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

the  bystanders  in  favor  of  Bob.  And,  as  a  result 
of  this  sensation  among  the  bystanders,  there  was 
a  marked  stir  among  the  jurors,  as  if  they  were 
undergoing  a  mental  revolution. 

The  prosecuting  attorney  flew  to  the  protection 
of  the  State  and  the  maintenance  of  law,  and  threw 
in  every  legal  objection  that  could  operate  against 
the  admission  of  such  testimony. 

"May  it  please  the  Court,"  said  he,  "  I  do  not 
question  the  reverend  gentleman's  intentions,  but 
this  kind  of  evidence  is  mere  heresay.  Mr.  Force 
has  been  imposed  on ;  it's  a  made  up  affair,  a 
regular  cock  and  bull  story.  The  Court  will  please 
forbid  such  evidence  being  considered  by  the  jury." 

But  it  was  no  use,  the  jury  had  it,  and  the  jury 
believed  it,  for  the  reason  that  the  face  of  the  mul- 
titude was  decidedly  for  Philip  and  his  story. 

And  the  court  having  whittled  out  and  trans- 
formed a  pine  shingle  into  a  pine  fish,  straightened 
his  honor  in  the  chair  as  if  to  inspire  an  unusual 
amount  of  awe,  and  having  ordered  the  sheriff  to 
secure  perfect  silence,  he  went  on  to  deliver  his 
opinion : 

"The  Court  has  all  along  had  grave  doubts  as  to 
the  propriety  and  legality  of  admitting  such  testi- 
mony. But,  lest  it  might  appear  that  some  unfair 
advantage  had  been  taken  of  the  prisoner  when  his 
life  was  at  stake,  the  Court  has  permitted  the  widest 


THE  TRIAL.  473 

latitude  in  the  presentation  of  anything  that  could 
throw  additional  light  upon  this  case. 

"There  is  one  point  alluded  to  in  the  testimony 
given  by  the  reverend  gentleman,  as  coming  from 
him  who  is  said  to  be  the  real  murderer,  which,  if 
the  facts  are  found  to  agree  with  the  statement,  the 
Court  can  see  no  reason  why  the  prisoner  should 
not  be  discharged  from  further  custody  as  an  inno- 
cent man.  A  deputation  will  immediately  be  sent 
by  the  Court  to  ascertain  if  the  money  can  be 
found  where  it  is  said  to  be  concealed ;  and  if  it 
should  be  found  as  stated,  and  the  facts  agree  in 
this  important  regard  with  the  document  presented 
by  the  reverend  gentleman,  then,  and  in  that  event, 
the  prisoner  may  be  discharged." 

The  counsel  for  the  defense  arose,  and  said : 

' '  May  it  please  the  Court,  Mr.  Force,  the  wit- 
ness last  examined,  returned  late  last  night  with  this 
document,  which  he  procured  with  great  labor  and 
perseverance  as  a  friend  of  the  defendant;  and 
although  he  had  traveled  until  quite  late  at  night, 
yet  he  called  upon  me  immediately  after  his  arrival. 
And  when  he  stated  his  case,  we  brought  to  our  aid 
some  of  our  best  citizens  of  the  place,  who  went 
with  us  at  once,  and  we  found  the  money  in  the  very 
place  and  so  situated  as  you  have  heard  described 
in  that  paper,  and  here  it  is  for  the  inspection  of 
the  Court." 

A  burst  of  applause  hereupon  rang  out  from  the 
33 


474  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

multitude,  amid  the  yells  of  "Silence!"  or  the  part 
of  the  sheriff. 

It  was  the  work  of  a  few  minutes,  only,  to  exam- 
ine the  contents  of  the  saddle-bags,  and  to  hear 
what  the  citizens  had  to  say  who  had  gone  to  find 
them,  and  for  the  prosecuting  attorney  to  withdraw 
the  case,  and  the  judge  to  discharge  the  prisoner 
and  declare  him  innocent,  which  he  said  he  took 
great  pleasure  in  doing,  and  would  adjourn  the  court 
till  two  o'clock  in  the  afternoon.  And  he  walked 
down  from  his  bench  and  shook  Bob  and  Sue  by 
the  hand,  and  tears  of  joy  stood  in  his  eyes.  And 
all  the  lawyers  and  officers  shook  their  hands, 
and  the  jury  and  most  of  the  multitude  did  the  same 
thing.  They  were  all  the  friends  of  Bob  now,  and 
almost  smothered  him  and  Sue  with  their  hearty 
congratulations.  Bob  held  himself  like  a  man,  and 
Sue  deported  herself  in  the  most  approved  womanly 
fashion.  As  soon  as  she  was  alone,  however,  she 
gave  way  to  her  tears,  for  her  heart  was  running 
over  with  joy. 

Bob  and  Sue  went  home  that  afternoon.  Philip 
was  happy. 


STOLEN  WATERS.  475 


CHAPTER  LIII. 

STOLEN   WATERS. 

Bob  had  borne  himself  so  well  during  his  trouble,' 
and  had  come  out  so  triumphant,  that  his  friends 
were  more  in  number  and  more  pronounced  than 
ever  before.  Old  and  wise  heads,  as  they  conferred 
together,  agreed  that  the  better  elements  of  man- 
hood were  in  him.  Young  people  sought  his  so- 
ciety. Blunt  had  come  to  admire  him.  Sue  wor- 
shiped him,  and  her  mother  came  very  near  to  the 
daughter's  point  of  admiration.  The  young  couple 
had  mutually  agreed  to  persevere  in  school  a  while 
longer,  and  defer  their  marriage  to  a  more  conven- 
ient season. 

Philip  went  up  twice  during  the  year  to  visit  his  old 
friends  at  Doubletown.  Celebs  still  lived  and  labored 
there.  Philip  always  called  to  see  Mrs.  Brooks ; 
and  she  was  always  pleased  to  have  him ;  and  took 
pains  to  show  him  Kate's  letters,  at  least  some  of 
them ;  and  it  flattered  the  mother  to  have  him  read 
them  so  carefully.  While  he  was  looking  over 
them,  she  was  looking  over  him,  and  studying  his 
mental  workings.  And  the  results  of  her  study 
usually  afforded  material  for  two  or  three  letters  to 
Kate. 


476  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

She  was  a  discerning  woman,  and  could  see  more  of 
a  man's  heart  through  his  face  in  an  hour,  than  a 
dozen  philosophers  could  find  out  through  the  same 
channel  in  a  month.  Mrs.  Brooks  had  also  a  letter 
from  her  sister,  Mrs.  Thornton,  not  so  cautiously 
worded  as  Kate's,  but  this  letter  she  did  not  show 
to  Philip.  Mrs.  Thornton's  letter  ran  about  thus : 

INDIANAPOLIS,  Ind., 

My  Dear  Sister:  You  know  I  am  not  gifted  in  writing 
letters.  It  is  a  task.  But  I  know  how  much  you  want  to  hear 
from  me,  and  especially  about  Catharine.  (She  always  called 
her  "  Catharine."  She  was  named  for  her,  and  she  regarded 
'•'•Kate  "  as  too  simple  and  undignified.)  She  writes  to  you  often, 
and  she  does  it  so  much  better  than  I  do,  that  I  am  inclined  to 
let  her  do  all  of  it.  But  I  have  learned  to  do  many  things  be- 
cause I  ought,  and  not  from  the  pleasure  of  doing  them.  It  is 
a  pleasure  to  know  that  I  have  written  this  letter,  after  I  have 
done  it;  but  to  determine  to  do  it,  and  the  idea  of  going  through 
the  labor  of  it,  is,  somehow,  irksome  to  me.  But  I  must  buckle 
to  it. 

Catharine  is  my  main  subject,  and  I  know  I  could  write  of 
nothing  else  in  this  world  that  would  more  interest  you.  She 
surpasses  my  expectations;  and  in  her  studies  has  gone  beyond 
what  her  teachers  anticipated  of  her.  She  grows  handsomer 
and  more  attractive  every  day.  She  goes  with  me,  when  she 
has  time  from  her  studies,  to  visit  the  sick  and  distressed,  and 
appears  to  take  an  intrest  in  relieving  them.  She  seems  not  to 
care  much  for  society  outside  of  school  and  home.  Sometimes 
she  attends  the  social  gatherings  of  the  church;  but  I  have  im- 
agined that  she  went  to  them  more  to  please  me,  than  because 
she  felt  inclined  to  go. 

A  young  lawyer,  whom  I  knew  from  a  boy,  who  has  health 
and  good  morals,  wealth  and  honorable  family,  was  greatly 


STOLEN  WATERS.  477 

taken  with  Catharine,  and  paid  considerable  attention  to  her. 
But  when  he  grew  fond  of  her,  she  began  to  avoid  him,  and  so 
she  now  looks  upon  him  as  only  a  friend  and  acquaintance.  I 
was  in  hopes  she  would  fancy  him.  But  I  never  interfere,  in 
those  matters,  unless  it  would  be  to  hinder  some  serious  mis 
alliance. 

The  young  minister  that  was  on  your  circuit  last  year  was 
here  some  time  ago,  looking  for  evidence  in  poor  Sighgold's 
case;  and  he  stayed  with  us  part  of  the  time,  while  in  the  city. 
He  is  a  very  pleasant  and  intelligent  gentleman ;  and  it  is  my 
impression  that  there  is  more  between  him  and  Catharine,  than 
she  cares  to  tell.  It  appeared  to  me,  that  she  had  to  watch  her- 
self, for  fear  her  soul  would  slip  away.  There  seemed  to  be 
signs  of  tenderness  and  confidence  between  them,  which  I 
never  noticed  between  Catharine  and  any  other  man.  But,  sis- 
ter, I  may  be  mistaken  in  all  this  about  Mr.  Force.  It  may  be 
mere  conjecture.  I  hope  you  will  pay  but  little  regard  to  it. 
Catherine  is  prudent,  and  one  that  you  and  I  ought  to  be  proud 
of,  if  pride  is  allowable.  My  poor  husband's  property  that  he 
left  me  has  turned  out  more  profitable  than  was  expected. 
Catharine's  share  will  make  her  rich.  She  is  worthy  of  it  all, 
and  more  too.  I  hope  you  are  all  well.  My  health  is  only  tol- 
erable. My  love  to  the  family.  Kiss  the  children  for  me. 

Good-bye. 

Affectionately,  your  sister, 

CATHARINE  THORNTON. 

While  Philip  was  at  the  Inn,  Mrs.  Brooks  also 
showed  him  a  few  books  that  Kate  had  sent  as 
presents  to  different  members  of  the  household. 
One  of  these  books  particularly  attracted  his  atten- 
tion, and  by  the  good  lady's  permission  he  took  it 
with  him  that  he  might  examine  it,  if  he  had  leisure, 
while  he  was  at  Blunt's  house,  for  there  were  his 


47 8  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

headquarters.  And  when  he  came  to  look  over  its 
pages,  the  above  letter  was  found  tucked  away 
among  the  leaves.  The  contents  of  that  letter  fol- 
lowed him.  He  had  come  into  possession  of  it 
rather  surreptitiously,  but  by  no  scheming  of  his ; 
yet  he  felt  slightly  guilty.  The  temptation  was  too 
much  for  him.  He  at  first  hesitated  about  reading 
it  all ;  but  ended  by  reading  it  over  four  times.  He 
was  careful  to  return  the  book,  with  the  letter  laid 
precisely  in  the  place  where  he  found  it.  The  let- 
ter worried  him ;  but  it  was  a  delicious  style  of 
worry.  *''  Stolen  waters  are  sweet." 


KATE'S  POWER.  479 


CHAPTER  LIV. 
KATE'S  POWER. 

The  next  year,  Philip  was  reappointed  to  the 
same  field  of  labor.  His  salary  was  nearly  doubled. 
Some  of  his  financial  pillars,  humorously  informed 
him,  that  if  he  would  marry  during  the  year,  a  few 
hundred  dollars  more  would  be  added.  But  he  had, 
ever  since  Mary's  death,  carefully  avoided  giving 
the  slightest  indications  that  a  thought  of  marriage 
was  entertained  by  him. 

Mary  could  not  easily  be  forgotten.  He  cherished 
her  memory  to  the  repeated  shadowing  of  his  own 
mind.  His  ideas  of  beauty  and  domestic  bliss  had 
existence  in  her.  He  hated  inconstancy.  Though 
eighteen  months  or  more,  in  the  grave,  her  image 
and  love  were  fresh  in  his  mind.  He  had  an  aver- 
sion, to  people  made  of  such  precarious  quicksilver, 
that  no  permanent  foundation  could  be  laid  in  their 
affections. 

One  of  his  friends,  a  man  of  nearly  his  own  age, 
and  in  many  respects  a  refined  and  cultivated  gen- 
tleman, had  married  in  a  few  weeks  after  the  death 
of  his  wife,  whom  he  seemed  to  adore.  Philip 
fairly  recoiled  from  him  ;  and  could  hardly  force 
himself  to  be  civil  to  him  afterwards.  He  lost  his 


480  THE  Two  CIRCUITS 

regard  for  his  friendship.  He  thought,  that  a  heart 
that  could  heal  so  readily,  and  transfer  itself  so  eas- 
ily, from  one  to  another,  was  hardly  worth  retaining 
on  the  list  of  his  personal  attachments. 

Many  a  time,  in  silence  and  in  secret,  he  brooded 
over  the  hours  of  joy  he  had  spent  with  Mary.  His 
thoughts  and  dreams  would  retrace  the  days  he  sat 
by  her  side,  and  was  elated  and  enchanted  with  her 
face  and  voice. 

But  who  can  constantly  live  in  the  days  of  the 
past  ?  Who  can  live  long  on  hopes  that  have  failed  ? 
How  can  a  soul  slake  its  thirst  on  springs  that  have 
dried  up  ?  Whose  heart  can  perpetually  linger  on 
scenes  that  can  never  return  ?  Time  and  nature, 
and  the  busy  affairs  of  life  will  conspire  to  drive 
away  the  grief  and  anguish,  that  grew  from  the 
trouble  of  gone-by  days.  And  it  must  be  well,  for 
it  is  so  ordained.  That  heart  is  morbid  that  grieves 
perpetually  for  its  dead. 

Philip  had  many  congenial  friends.  His  vocation 
called  him  often  into  a  crowd  of  welcome  faces. 
There  is  a  mysterious  power  in  the  present  to  ob- 
literate the  sorrows  of  the  past.  The  very  care  and 
duties  that  now  encumber  us,  and  the  joys  that 
thrill  us,  will,  inevitably,  crowd  the  heart  from  old 
and  fond  affections.  The  mother  will,  rightly,  cease 
to  weep  over  the  coffined  child.  The  tears  and  sigh- 
ing of  one  that  is  widowed  in  youth,  will  be  worn 
away  by  the  delicious  melody,  and  rough  clamors 


KATE'S  POWER.  481 

of  the  practical  world.  Clouds  must  give  place  to 
brightness.  The  cups  of  woe  are  pushed  aside  in 
this  great  drama  of  life  to  give  place  to  the  chalice 
of  pleasure.  The  dirge  for  the  dead  grows  fainter, 
as  the  voices  of  the  harsh  and  tender  echo  around  us. 
When  those  we  most  live  for,  cease  to  live,  we  are 
still  led  on  to  live  for  others  ;  and  when  the  moon 
shines  on  our  graves,  those  who  lived  for  us,  will 
still  love  and  enjoy  others,  just  as  near,  it  may  be. 
Such  being  the  ruling  law,  it  is  no  disparagement 
to  Philip,  to  chronicle  the  fact  that  he  was  not  a 
marked  exception,  to  this  general  mental  working. 

In  the  summer  of  his  second  year  at  Rushingo, 
Philip  was  invited  to  attend  a  camp  meeting  on  the 
Doubletown  circuit.  His  old  friends  received  him 
there  with  many  manifestations  of  esteem  and 
kindliness.  He  arrived  on  Saturday,  and  preached 
at  three  o'clock  in  the  afternoon. 

Bob  and  Sue  were  among  the  first  to  greet  him. 
By  them  he  was  numbered  among  the  chief  of  their 
friends.  Blunt  would  hear  to  no  other  arrangement, 
than  that  his  tent  should  be  Philip's  headquarters. 
As  to  that,  there  was  but  little  chance  for  him  to  have 
any  headquarters,  so  promiscously  was  he  compelled 
to  diffuse  himself  among  his  acquaintances. 

Professor  DeKalb  was  early  and  cordial,  in  his 
way,  in  paying  him  his  respects,  and  when  oppor- 
tunity offered  he  invited  Philip  to  take  a  walk  ii 


482  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

the  woods,  for  a  little  friendly  conversation.  Philip 
with  reluctance  assented,  and  when  they  were  so  far 
away  in  the  groves,  as  to  be  out  of  all  hearing,  the 
professor  inquired : 

"Do  you  remember,  Mr.  Force,  a  talk  we  once 
had  over  Miss  Kate  Brooks?" 

"O,  yes,  Professor,  I  remember  it  very  well.  I 
promised  not  to  seek  her  society,  and  I  kept  the 
promise.  I  hope  I  was  not  the  cause  of  deranging 
any  of  your  plans?"  said  Philip,  desiring  to  hear 
what  he  could  about  Kate. 

The  professor  made  some  feeble  explosions  about 
his  throat,  vigorously  beat  his  pantaloons  with  his 
rattan,  and  pushed  his  spectacles  nearer  his  eyes, 
and  looked  away  into  space,  as  if  he  expected  a 
message  from  the  clouds,  and  spoke  in  a  muffled 
voice : 

"You  acted  honorably,  Mr.  Force,  but  it  never 
did  me  any  good,  as  far  as  I  could  see,  sir.  I  would 
have  given  the  world  for  her;  she's  the  grandest 
specimen  of  natural  perfection,  I  ever  saw,  sir. 
But  she  avoided  me,  I  wrote  to  her  repeatedly, 
after  she  went  to  Indianapolis,  and  she  wrote  me 
one  little,  constrained,  friendly  letter ;  it  was  a  very 
guarded  letter,  sir,  and  after  that  I  never  received  a 
line  from  her.  Although  I  cannot  lose  my  esteem 
for  her,  yet  I  have  given  up  all  hope.  I  see  it,  sir, 
she'll  never  be  to  me  any  more  than  she  is  now, 
sir.  Of  course,  she  is  further  removed  from  all  of 


KATE'S  POWER.  483 

us,  since  she  has  come  into  wealth  and  high  life.  I 
learn  from  her  mother,  that  she  is  receiving  atten- 
tion from  some  of  the  wealthiest  young  men  in 
Indianapolis.  And  it  wouldn't  surprise  me,  if  one 
so  fair  and  lovely,  every  way,  God  bless  her,  sir, 
should  be  married  before  long." 

Philip  listened  very  carefully,  and  tried  to  show 
no  more  than  an  ordinary  friendly  interest  in  her. 
He  was  in  hopes  that  the  professor  would  volunteer 
to  say  that  he  released  him  from  his  old  promise, 
not  to  seek  Kate's  society.  For,  although  a  couple 
of  years  had  passed,  Philip  still  felt  a  sacred  regard 
for  his  word.  He  had  never  written  to  her,  and, 
since  her  sickness,  had  never  called  upon  her,  ex- 
cepting when  they  met  together  to  receive  the 
dying  man's  confession ;  so  carefully  had  he  kept 
his  word  with  DeKalb ;  and  now  he  thought,  the 
disappointed  Dutchman  might,  of  his  own  volition, 
release  him.  But  the  little  man  was  so  absorbed 
with  himself,  that  he  never  thought  of  it. 

They  still  continued  their  walk  in  the  woods,  and 
Philip  was  inclined  to  dwell  upon  the  present  line 
of  remark,  and  yet  he  did  not  care  to  have  the  fact 
appear,  that  he  had  any  personal  anxiety  in  the 
case.  So  he  casually  inquired  : 

"  Miss  Kate,  I  suppose,  visits  her  old  home  oc- 
casionally? " 

"Oh  yes,  sir,"  said  the  professor,  with  a  groan, 
and  looking  toward  the  tree  tops,  ' '  she  has  been  here 


484  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

each  year,  at  the  close  of  her  school,  and  stayed  a 
few  weeks;  and  I  tell  you,  Mr.  Force,  she's  grander 
and  more  complete  than  ever,  sir.  I  must  go  where 
I'll  never  see  her,  sir."  And  the  prancing  little 
professor  gesticulated  vehemently,  and  went  on : 
' '  My  Lord,  sir,  it  excites  me  very  much,  every 
time  I  talk  about  her ;  I  think  I've  been  always  a 
great  fool  over  her ;  especially  as  she  only  has  a 
common,  feeble  friendship  for  me,  mixed  with  a  lit- 
tle silent  contempt.  I  hear  that  she  is  to  be  here 
to-day,  sir." 

At  this  intelligence,  Philip  was  startled,  and  then 
he  checked  himself,  and  was  annoyed,  that  he  should 
be  startled  ;  that  such  a  thing  should  make  him  feel 
ill  at  ease ;  or  rather  he  was  annoyed,  lest  the  weak 
professor  should  see  his  excitement.  But  he  had 
no  need  to  give  himself  the  least  concern  in  that 
quarter,  for  the  small  bundle  of  frustration  by  his 
side  was  so  absorbed  with  his  own  luckless  aims, 
that  no  ordinary  agitation  in  another  attracted  his 
notice. 

Philip,  for  some  unaccountable  cause,  could 
hardly  entertain  toward  him  the  respect,  that  his 
misery  demanded  ;  he  could  only  pity  his  hopeless 
attachment.  His  own  interest  in  Kate,  led  him  to 
manifest  more  regard  for  what  DeKalb  had  to  say, 
than  the  crotchety  professor  could  have  awakened 
in  him  under  other  circumstances;  and  he  hoped, 
too,  that  he  would  come  to  the  point  on  the  old 


KATE'S  POWER.  485 

promise.  So,  to  stir  him  along,  in  that  channel,  he 
ventured  to  say: 

' '  Perhaps,  Professor,  you  had  better  rally,  and 
make  another  bold,  persistent  effort  to  win  her ;  you 
know  it  is  said,  '  The  faint  never  won  the  fair. ' ' 

Philip  felt  a  slight  twinge  of  conscience  over 
these  words,  for  they  sprung  from  a  latent  feeling 
of  mischief,  which  in  an  instant,  he  regarded  as 
unkind,  and  tending  to  chafe  the  disquieted  and 
flighty  Dutchman. 

"Not  a  particle  of  use,  sir,"  said  DeKalb,  "I 
have  been  fool  enough  that  way  already.  I  never 
find  congeniality  where  I  seek  it,  sir.  Whenever  I 
court  a  smile  it  runs  after  some  other  one.  I  have 
tried  a  thousand  times  never  to  think  of  her,  but  in 
vain,  sir.  If  she  would  spurn  and  scorn  me,  I 
might  hate  her ;  I  would  enjoy  it  more ;  yes,  sir,  I 
would  enjoy  it  more  than  her  pity;  to  be  pitied 
grinds  and  galls  me.  Her  destiny  is  bright,  mine 
dark.  I  feel  like  going  out  among  the  wolves,  and 
while  they  howl  at  the  moon,  I'll  sigh  to  the  stars 
and  curse  my  fate.  Kind  to  me,  did  you  say  ?  Oh, 
yes,  of  course  she  is,  sir ;  but  what  does  that  sig- 
nify, she  is  kind  to  her  father's  dog,  sir.  I  shall  go 
from  this  ground  this  evening.  I  don't  want  to  see 
her.  Why  should  I  seek  to  be  deluded  any  longer  ? 
Once,  Mr.  Force,  you  could  have  been  her  idol. 
But  I  know  your  fortunes  were  linked  elsewhere. 
We  all  respect  your  blighted  hopes.  No  one  re- 


486  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

spects  mine.  The  ground  has  hid  yours  away ;  I 
wish  the  ground  had  hid  me  away." 

And  he  fumed  and  vapored  over  his  helplessness. 

"You  should,"  said  Philip,  "try  to  turn  your 
attentions  elsewhere ;  if  you  cannot  succeed  with 
Miss  Brooks,  seek  for  another  prize.  Why  annoy 
and  fret  yourself  over  what  you  regard  as  unat- 
tainable ?" 

"  Well  said,  sir,  well  said,  but  not  so  easily  done, 
but  done  .it  shall  be.  I  am  helpless,  f  have  ag- 
gravated her.  I'll  not  do  it  again.  I'll  sink  out 
of  sight,  sir.  Excuse  me,  Mr.  Force,  for  this 
weakness.  I  annoy  you.  I  am  disgusted.  My 
brain  is  on  fire.  My  passion  has  consumed  all  that 
is  worth  living  for.  Let  us  talk  of'  something  else, 
sir.  How  do  you  prosper  in  your  new  field  of 
labor?" 

"Very  much  better  than  I  had  expected,  I  thank 
you,"  said  Philip,  in  a  tone  of  absent-mindedness 
and  disappointment. 

"I  see  you  are  tired  with  this  walk, "  said  the 
little  man,  in  schoolmaster  style. 

"Perhaps,"  said  Philip,  "it  would  be  well  to 
return." 

So  they  wheeled  about,  and  Philip  would  have 
been  resigned,  if  his  companion  in  travel  had  now 
been  a  hundred  miles  away ;  for,  without  intending 
it,  he  was  a  constitutional  bore. 

He   could    say    many   good,    true   and    sensible 


KATE'S  POWER.  487 

things,  and  you  felt  that  he  meant  well,  but  he  was 
inevitably  wearisome,  worrying  and  flat ;  it  was  in- 
grained in  his  manner,  his  smirks,  tones,  winks, 
die-away  stares  and  platitudes. 

And  as  Philip  despaired  of  a  release  from  the 
old  promise  at  this  time,  he  greatly  increased  his 
speed,  as  he  walked  back  toward  the  encampment, 
so  that  DeKalb,  who  was  seven  inches  the  shortest, 
was  puffing  and  blowing  with  the  excessive  exercise. 

The  next  day,  it  being  Sunday,  Philip  was  called 
upon  to  preach  at  eleven  o'clock.  Just  as  he  had 
repeated  his  text,  and  was  about  to  commence  his 
discourse,  he  saw  Kate  sitting  in  the  large  audience, 
about  fifty  feet  in  front  of  him.  Philip  did  the 
best  he  could,  with  that  secret  power,  that  flashed 
up  in  him  at  the  sight  of  her — that  mysterious 
power,  so  little  subject  to  control,  that  wonderful 
power,  that  has  shaken  the  sense  out  of  millions  of 
the  strongest  minds.  A  momentary  look  satisfied 
him,  that  her  heart  was  free  and  ready  to  be  poured 
into  his.  So  he  took  courage  and  preached  to  the 
astonishment  of  himself  and  all  his  friends. 


488  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER  LV. 

ALAS,    FOR     DE  KALB. 

Blunt,  with  Bob  and  Sue,  claimed  Philip  as  almost 
one  of  their  own  household,  and  carried  him  off  to 
dinner  from  a  throng  of  others  who  were  inviting 
him. 

Kate  was  in  Blunt's  tent,  and  as  she  saw  Philip 
coming  near  the  door,  she  felt  that  her  heart  was 
going,  and  the  effort  to  hold  it  safe  gave  her  a  sen- 
sation of  awkwardness.  But  it  was  only  momen- 
tary, and  flashed  away  as  soon  as  she  recognized  a 
greater  amount  of  similar  sensations  in  his  counte- 
nance. A  curious  thrill  went  through  his  brain  and 
breast  during  her  gentle  and  hearty  hand-shaking. 
His  calmness  became  confused  under  the  light  and 
beauty  of  her  eye.  Her  presence  overpowered 
him  who  had  just  overpowered  nearly  three  thou- 
sand people.  The  intelligent  brightness  of  her 
face  made  other  things  look  dull  to  him.  He 
almost  felt  that  it  would  be  no  idolatry  to  kneel  right 
down  before  her. 

But  he  remembered  his  position,  and  the  cause 
he  represented,  so  that  no  one  seemed  to  notice 
that  there  was  going  on  within  him  any  unusual 
compression  or  restraint.  And  yet,  as  he  sat  by 


ALAS,   FOR  DEKALB.  489 

her  side  for  a  few  moments,  there  were  burning 
flashes  playing  along  the  nerves  of  both  of  them. 

She  did  not  laugh  quite  as  readily  and  often  as 
she  did  a  few  years  before,  but  what  her  laugh  had 
lost  in  frequency,  it  made  up  in  meaning  and 
sweetness.  She  had  the  same  natural  winning 
wiles,  which,  without  intention  or  effort,  drew 
hearts  in  fondness  around  her.  Her  physical  person 
was  now  perfectly  developed,  so  that  in  a  crowd  she 
was  an  object  of  admiration.  Her  dress  was  appro- 
priate and  in  harmony  with  her  features  and  form. 
Her  kindliness  and  vivacity  were  moderated  and 
chastened  by  a  quiet  dignity  and  reserve  that  was 
not  as  perceptible  two  years  before. 

While  Philip  regarded  it  a  luxury  to  be  by  her 
side,  and  hear  her  voice,  and  read  from  her  eyes 
more  than  she  ever  told  to  him,  yet  he  felt  that  they 
were  like  birds  in  a  cage,  both  refusing  to  sing  their 
choicest  notes  until  away  from  sight  and  hearing  of 
the  multitude.  The  fact  that  he  had  any  special 
concern  for  her,  he  would  not  have  the  crowd  to  sup- 
pose. He  was  here  to  do  good  to  the  largest 
number,  and  he  had  learned  to  sacrifice  many  of  his 
strongest  preferences  when  they  came  in  the  way 
of  his  working  for  the  welfare  of  that  number.  He 
had  accustomed  himself  to  suppress  desires  and 
habits  that  hindered  his  access  to  the  hearts  of  the 
people ;  he  would  conquer  himself  that  he  might 
win  them  to  what  he  regarded  the  most  important 
34 


490  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

interests.  And,  then,  he  had  seen  some  wise  and 
good  young  men  so  overwhelmed  by  their  spoony 
fluttering  and  fondness  that  they  got  into  the  region 
of  enraptured  idiots,  and  people  looked  upon  them 
as  a  show  or  display  of  human  fireworks. 

As  preaching  was  about  to  begin,  on  Monday,  at 
eleven  o'clock,  the  news  came  that  Professor  De- 
Kalb  was  found  dead  in  his  bed.  The  report  ran 
like  a  quiet. fire  among  the  worshipers.  Many  of 
them  knew  him  as  a  fair  teacher  in  the  Doubletown 
Seminary;  as  a  man  of  eccentric  habits,  and  that 
he  should  die  differently  from  most  men  did  not  sur- 
prise those  who  knew  him  best. 

The  coroner  was  called  away  from  the  encamp- 
ment to  set  in  judgment  on  the  case.  After  the 
due  formalities  of  a  medical  examination,  and  hunt- 
ing for  the  cause  and  finding  none  for  so  sudden  a 
giving  up  of  life,  it  was  concluded  that  he  died  of 
"heart  disease,"  and  a  verdict  was  rendered  accord- 
ingly. 

As  the  death  occurred  at  the  Inn,  all  the  Brooks 
family,  and  Kate  with  them,  left  the  camp-ground 
to  pay  attention  to  the  remains  of  their  old  boarder, 
and  see  that  he  was  properly  laid  away  in  the  grave. 

As  soon  as  Kate  came  to  the  house,  a  drop  letter 
was  placed  in  her  hands,  addressed  on  the  outside 
in  a  style  of  writing  that  was  evidently  feigned. 
As  soon  as  she  looked  at  it  she  suspected  there 


ALAS,   FOR  DEKALB.  491 

was  some  mystery  in  it,  and  she  skillfully  concealed 
it  from  observation  until  she  could  examine  it  alone. 
No  one  noticed  anything  peculiar  about  her  disposal 
of  the  letter,  for  she  frequently  received  letters 
from  many  quarters  now. 

When  she  found  a  few  moments  that  she  could  be 
free  from  intrusion,  in  one  of  the  side  rooms,  she 
broke  the  curious  seal ;  and  as  she  read,  she  was 
shocked  almost  beyond  her  self-control.  Tears 
came  to  her  eyes,  and  she  knew  not  whether  she 
ought  to  reproach  herself.  She  sent  up  a  prayer  to 
heaven  for  forgiveness  if  she  were  guilty,  and  hid 
the  letter  away  again. 

She  managed  to  have  a  note  conveyed  to  Philip, 
requesting  him  to  call  and  see  her  a  few  moments 
that  afternoon,  if  convenient.  And  if  there  was 
an  invitation  from  any  quarter  of  the  earth  that 
Philip  would  readily  respond  to,  it  was  just  such  an 
on<?  and  from  such  a  source. 

As  he  had  preached  in  the  morning,  and  it  was 
now  three  o'clock,  he  excused  himself  to  his  com- 
panions by  saying  that  there  were  some  of  his  old 
friends  in  Doubletown  he  wanted  to  see,  and  that 
he  must  show  a  proper  respect  for  the  departed 
professor. 

Little  knots  of  neighbors  came  to  the  Inn,  curious 
to  know  all  about  so  sudden  a  death  ;  and  went 
again,  to  rehearse  and  gossip  over  what  they  had 
heard  and  seen. 


492  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

"  Heart  disease?"  inquired  one. 

"Oh,  yes,"  said  another,  looking  profoundly 
wise,  "  I  allers  thought  thar'  must  be  something  tlic 
matter  with  his  heart,  he  looked  so  melancholy  anc1 
down  in  the  mouth  like." 

"  Wall,"  said  another,  leaning  against  the  fence, 
and  whittling  the  top  plank,  and  rolling  an  immense 
quid  in  his  mouth,  "I  'lowed  'twas  dyspepsy  'twas 
the  matter  of  him,  he  allers  looked  so  sailer  ;  and 
ye  know  dyspepsy's  hard  on  the  spirits.  I  saw  old 
Quibox  a  while  afore  he  died  ;  he  died  of  dyspepsy, 
ye  know.  Wall,  old  Quibox  used  to  git  so  low 
down  with  the  blues  that  all  cr'ation  turned  b)ack  to 
him  ;  and  it  looked  like  at  times  that  thar'  wasn't 
arry  heart  left  in  him.  Ye  see,"  and  here  he  began 
to  point  up  and  down  with  his  jack-knife  upon  the 
fingers  of  the  opposite  hand,  as  if  to  make  1m 
words  emphatic,  "dyspepsy  begins  in  the  stum 
mick  and  runs  to  the  liver,  and  keeps  spreadin'  till 
it  strikes  the  heart,  and  when  that's  struck  wunst,  a 
man's  gone,  sure.  That's  why  I  say  this ;  that 
schoolmaster  may  a'  had  dyspepsy  after  all's  said 
and  done  by  jury  and  doctors." 

Such  were  some  of  the  remarks  which  Philip 
heard  as  he  hitched  his  horse  before  the  Inn.  He 
stopped  with  the  crowd  and  shook  hands,  for  he 
was  acquainted  with  many  of  them,  and  it  was  his 
practice  to  shake  hands  with  every  one  that  looked 
as  though  they  would  feel  the  better  for  it. 


'DYSPEPSIA  OS  HEART  DISEASE," 


ALAS,   FOR  DEKALB.  493 

Kate  met  him  at  the  door,  and  spoke  to  him  as 
frankly  as  if  he  had  been  her  brother.  A  shade  of 
disquietude  seemed  to  disturb  her.  In  a  low  voice, 
she  said  to  him  : 

"Make  some  arrangements  for  me  to  see  you 
alone." 

She  made  the  request  as  if  it  were  half  entreaty 
and  half  command,  and  as  if  she  did  not  doubt  for 
a  moment  that  it  would  be  cheerfully  attended  to. 

Others  rose  up  hastily  to  greet  him,  and  he  met 
them  as  cordially  as  if  his  heart  was  as  much 
inclined  to  all  as  to  a  particular  one.  After  he  had 
in  an  easy  manner  inquired  of  the  prosperity  of 
each  of  them,  he  moved  around  to  the  side  of  Kate, 
and,  without  apparent  design  and  as  if  in  mere 
ordinary  remark  upon  some  trivial  affair,  he  whis- 
pered to  her : 

' '  I  have  a  buggy  at  the  door ;  come  and  ride 
with  me." 

She  nodded  assent  with  such  a  tinge  of  gloom 
and  decision  that  no  blushes  or  confusion  were 
observable.  With  a  funereal  sort  of  business  air, 
she  passed  into  another  room,  and  soon  returned 
with  bonnet  and  shawl,  and  passed,  with  Philip  out 
of  the  front  door,  and  away  went  the  buggy  with 
both  of  them. 


494  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 


CHAPTER  LVI. 

KATE    FOUND. 

The  sun  was  within  half  an  hour  of  setting.  Its 
golden,  quivering  radiance  was  spread  over  all  the 
earth,  as  they  rode  along  the  quiet  streets  of  Double- 
town.  They  struck  out  toward  the  open  country, 
and  away  from  the  direction  of  the  camp-ground.- 
Neither  made  more  than  common-place  remarks, 
until  beyond  the  houses  of  the  town.  Philip  per- 
ceived, from  the  tone  of  her  voice,  that  Kate  was 
troubled  ;  and  so  he  hesitated,  that  she  might  lead 
in  the  conversation. 

"Philip,"  said  Kate,  "I  know  you  will  excuse 
me,  for  sending  for  you,  and  for  asking  to  speak 
with  you  alone,  when  you  read  this."  And  she 
drew  from  her  dress  pocket  the  drop  letter,  handed  it 
to  Philip,  and  took  the  reins  from  his  hands,  and 
drove  the  horse  slowly  along.  He  unfolded  the  letter 
and  read  ;  there  was  no  place  or  date  named  on  it, 
and  it  ran  about  as  follows : 

"My  Dear  Miss  Brooks:  I  leave  life  of  mv'own  accord.  For 
three  years  I  have  lived  for  you.  You  reject  me.  I  am  set 
iiside  as  a  thing  unnoticed.  My  love  for  you  has  been  like  a 
raging  fire.  To  vou  it  is  no  more  than  a  feeble  flash  of  a  glow- 
worm, which  you  are  too  kind  to  tread  upon.  You  are  a  prin- 


KATE  FOUND.  495 

cess.     I  am  a  serf.     You  have  crushed  me  by  silent  indifference 
and  polite  contempt." 

Here  Philip  stopped,  and  exclaimed : 

' '  I  want  to  read  no  more  of  this  frantic  raving. 
How  dared  the  miserable  man  to  write  so  ?  " 

Kate  kept  her  eyes  upon  the  horse,  and  grasped 
the  reins  tightly  in  her  hand,  and  her  usually  red 
lips  were  pressed  together,  pale  and  bloodless. 
Decision  and  sadness  rested  on  her  features,  as  she 
replied : 

"  Philip,  you  must  read  every  word  of  it,  and 
see  how  bad  I  am." 

"Bad?"  said  Philip,  "Why,  Kate,  this  poor 
dunce  hadn't  the  capacity  to  appreciate  a  being  like 
you.  What  possessed  the  lunatic  to  send  you  such 
stuff?  I  don't  want  to  read  any  more  of  it." 

"  Philip, "  said  Kate,  "  please  read  it  all,  just  to 
accommodate  me.  No  one  else  has  seen  it.  I  can- 
not stand  it,  unless  I  know  some  one  has  read  it." 

So  Philip  read  on  : 

"  I  worshiped  you.  I  was  ready  to  kiss  the  ground  where  you 
stood.  Love  unrequited  drives  me  to  this,  and  makes  the  deed 
rather  agreeable.  I  thought  of  you  so  much,  that  all  my  wants 
ran  into  one,  and  that  was  want  of  you;  and  as  I  am  debarred 
from  that,  my  wants  and  life  are  over.  All  I  love  on  earth 
neglects  me.  Heaven  alone  holds  out  hope;  and  this  deed  may 
blast  that.  I  adore  you  still.  I  leave  no  curse  on  you.  How 
could  I  curse  one  so  pure.  The  curse  of  being  a  fool  is  on  me." 

"Whew!  "said  Philip,  "  that's  one  truth ;  there 


496  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

is  some  sense  and  method  in  his  madness."     And 
he  read  on : 

"  I  bless  you  with  my  last  prayer.  If  I  go  to  heaven  I'll  meet 
you ;  if  to  hell,  you'll  be  rid  of  me  forever." 

"Poor  fellow,"  said  Philip,  with  a  sigh. 

"  I  have  been  planning  for  this  for  months.  No  one  need 
know  that  I  take  my  own  life,  if  you  choose  to  conceal  it. 
The  poison  is  so  subtle  that  the  doctors  will  not  suspect  or 

notice  it. 

Farewell,  my  dearest  of  earth. 

DEKALB." 

Philip  was  indignant,  and  felt  like  tearing  the 
letter  to  pieces,  and  he  dropped  it  at  his  feet  with 
a  look  of  contempt.  Kate  handed  him  the  reins, 
and  stooped  over  and  picked  it  up,  and  regarded  it 
as  a  sort  of  death  warrant,  and  in  a  tone  of  self- 
reproach  and  of  entreaty  she  began : 

"Did  I  practice  deceit?  Where  have  I  done 
wrong?  Am  I  guilty?  1  could  hardly  feel  com- 
mon respect  for  him ;  but  heaven  knows,  I  would 
not  have  injured  him.  To  love  him,  was  utterly 
out  of  the  question.  In  truth  I  had  to  pray  for 
grace  to  keep  from  hating  him.  He  made  an  effort, 
on  several  occasions,  to  speak  of  attachment  for 
me.  But,  mercy,  Philip,  a  word  from,  him  in  that 
direction,  chilled  me  with  disgust.  I  had  to  force 
myself  to  treat  him  civilly.  But,  why,  in  the  name 
of  all  that  is  sacred,  should  I  be  the  cause  of  the 
poor  man's  death?  " 


KATE  FOUND.  497 

Kate  looked  almost  fiercely  at  the  terrible  letter 
as  it  lay  in  her  lap  ;  and  as  she  talked  more  rapidly 
than  Philip  had  ever  heard  her,  and  was  so  earnest 
over  the  affair,  he  refrained  from  any  reply.  He 
was  interested  to  hear  her  state  her  mental  work- 
ings. She  proceeded : 

' '  It  was  not  in  my  heart  to  harm  him.  Was  it 
wrong  to  feel  an  aversion  to  him  ?  I  am  distressed 
that  he  should  blame  me  with  this  rash  deed.  Can 
it  be,  that  guilt  attaches  to  me  ?  Tell  me  candidly, 
Philip,  wherein  I  have  erred  in  this  matter.  I 
would  weep  over  the  poor  soul's  infatuation.  I  had 
no  idea,  that  any  heart  on  earth  was  seriously  af- 
fected by  my  treatment.  Merciful  Father,  am  I  to 
lie  under  the  dead  man's  curse?  Shall  the  spectre 
of  his  little  soul  haunt  me,  as  the  author  of  his 
untimely  end  ?  Must  his  bloodless  hand  shake  over 
me  forever,  as  if  to  accuse  me  of  his  self-destruc- 
tion? Was  he  crazy,  or  am  I  a  hardened  sinner? 
Was  he  an  idiot,  or  am  I  a  wretch  ?  Is  my  life  to 
be  blighted  because  of  the  poor  man's  folly  ?  Am 
I  to  be  branded  like  Cain  ?  Is  his  blood  to  cry  out 
against  me  for  vengeance  ?  What  shall  I  do,  Philip, 
what  shall  I  do  with  this  awful  letter  ?  Must  the 
world  know  it?  Must  all  this  country  babble  about 
the  professor  being  the  victim,  and  I  the  destroyer  ? 
Shall  thoughtless  people  point  at  me  as  a  murderer  ? 

"Kate,"  said  Philip,  with  a  mixture  of  wrath 
and  pity  over  the  professor,  and  love  for  the  agi- 


498  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

tated  creature  by  his  side,  ' '  do  not  say  any  thing 
more  about  this  foolish  letter.  The  man  was  beside 
himself.  Every  suicide  is  unbalanced.  He  never 
had  any  common  sense.  I  would  have  more  re- 
spect for  him,  if  he  had  not  thrown  such  a  cowardly 
fire-brand  at  you  as  he  left  the  world.  No  one  be- 
sides you  and  me  need  ever  know  that  he  wrote 
such  stuff.  It  will  do  no  good,  for  it  to  see 
the  light.  Give  it  to  me,  and  I  will  burn  it  in  the 
first  fire  I  come  to.  Never  distress  yourself  over 
it  again.  Talk  to  me  about  it  as  much  as  you 
please,  but  never  condemn  yourself  over  it." 

The  color  began  to  come  to  her  lips,  and  the  rich 
glow  upon  her  cheeks,  as  she  handed  him  the  let- 
ter. Her  voice  and  touch  made  Philip's  blood  ebb 
and  flow  rapidly. 

"  Excuse  me,  Philip,"  said  Kate,  "  I  was  excited. 
May  be,  I  spoke  too  fast.  I  ought  to  have  waited 
for  your  cooler  judgment.  May  be  I  have  annoyed 
you.  But  I  could  not  get  my  consent  to  call  upon 
any  one  else  in  my  perplexity.  You  knew  the 
poor  man,  and  you  knew  me,  and  I  wanted  to  speak 
to  some  one." 

And  she  seemed  partially  to  cast  aside  her  sad- 
ness and  indignation,  leaving  just  enough  to  make 
her  more  attractive  than  ever.  And  Philip  fairly 
shook  with  an  impulse  to  protect,  defend  and  com- 
fort her.  For  months,  his  thoughts  had  been  going 
out  after  her.  And  here  she  was  now  sitting  by 


KATE  FOUND.  499 

his  side,  and  opening  her  troubles  to  him.  She 
was  confiding  in  him,  and  looking  to  him  for  help. 
And  the  warm  blood  mounted  to  his  face,  as  he 

said: 

' '  Bless  your  soul,  Kate,  I  have  wished  a  hun- 
dred times,  in  the  last  year,  that  you  were  by  my 
side.  Do  you  know,  that  your  speaking  to  me 
does  me  more  good,  than  words  from  any  one  else 
in  this  world?  " 

Kate  turned  her  head  away  from  him,  and  cast 
her-«eyes  down. 

"This  poor  man  that  died,"  continued  Philip, 
"made  me  promise  not  to  seek  your  society,  and 
so  I  have  not,  as  you  know.  I  hoped  he  would 
release  me  from  the  obligation.  Now  he  is  gone, 
would  you  think  it  wrong  for  me  to  feel  that  I  was 
no  longer  bound  by  that  promise  ?  " 

"  He  had  no  right  to  exact  such  a  promise  from 
any  one,  in  reference  to  me.  Had  I  known  of  his 
exacting  such  an  agreement  seriously  from  you,  I 
would  have  requested  you  to  pay  no  attention  to  it. 
Is  that  old  proverb  true,  about  a  bad  promise  better 
broken  than  kept?  " 

' '  May  be,  I  was  too  sensitive  over  having  com- 
mitted myself  to  him.  I  had  a  talk  with  him  a  few 
days  ago,  and  alluded  to  it  in  hopes  he  would  have 
released  me  ;  for  I  did  so  much  want  to  go  to  you." 

"I  have,"  said  Kate,  and  extra  color  was  in  her 
face,  ' '  wondered  why  you  kept  yourself  so  much 


500  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

aloof  from  me,  when  we  were  friends  you  know. 
Nearly  all  I  have  known  of  you,  for  more  than  two 
years,  has  been  from  hearsay,  incidentally,  through 
second  or  third  parties.  The  professor  had  no 
right  to  require  any  such  promise  of  you." 

"My  dear  Kate, "  and  Kate  started,  and  her 
pulse  beat  quicker,  "let  the  past  go.  All  tJiat 
may  have  been  inconsiderate.  It,  however,  did  not 
keep  me  from  thinking  of  you.  You  have  been 
perpetually  present  in  my  thoughts  during  all  these 
days.  You  have  made  darkness  light  to  me,  and 
been  a  radiance  in  the  shadows  of  loneliness.  You 
have  been  my  warmth  in  the  world's  coldness,  and 
a  calm  in  my  mental  strife.  You  have  colored  all 
my  purposes,  and  been  a  sharer  in  my  plans.  Your 
gentle  spirit  has  made  me  courageous  to  act,  and 
your  words  have  been  my  hope.  Your  eyes  have 
been  heaven's  sunshine,  and  my  heart  has  rested  in 
you  when  tried  and  tired  with  the  conflicts  of  life. 
And  I  have  even  made  you  to  share  my  griefs. 
And  in  all  the  smiles  and  gladness  I  have  met  dur- 
ing the  last  year  or  so,  yours  have  been  the  dearest. 
I  may  have  been  too  silent,  but  I  prized  you  none 
the  less.  And,  somehow,  I  felt  that  you  knew  all 
this,  and  did  not  desire  to  forsake  me.  Wherever  I 
have  been,  the  home  of  my  heart  has  been  with 
you.  I  have  seen  many  things  to  love,  in  the  last 
year  or  two,  but  none,  Kate,  like  you.  Many  a 


KATE  AT  TWENTY-TWO. 


KATE  FOUND.  501 

time,  I  have  wished  you  were  with  me  ;  I  needed 
your  love  and  trust,  watchfulness  and  counsel.  And, 
1  cannot  tell  why,  I  have  felt  secure  in  you.  Have  I 
been  mistaken,  Kate?  " 

The  horse  was  going  slow,  and  he  held  the  reins 
in  one  hand,  and  he  seemed  to  think  it  necessary  to 
use  the  other  to  reach  around  her  as  far  as  possible, 
and  hold  her  steady;  and  he  drew  her  closer  to  him 
as  if  for  protection,  for  her  breath  came  in  great 
waves,  and  she  trembled  as  she  whispered: 

"  You  have  not  been  mistaken,  Philip,  excepting 
you  have  prized  me  too  highly." 

Their  eyes  met;  I  will  not  attempt  to  describe  fur- 
ther. Those  who  have  had  a  similar  experience 
would  accuse  me  of  utter  failure  in  delineating  their 
rapture.  Those  who  have  never  had  such  experience 
would  regard  any  just  description  of  the  case  as  en- 
tirely overdrawn. 

Kate  returned  to  Indianapolis,  and  in  six  months 
from  that  time,  she  and  Philip  were  married.  For  a 
quarter  of  a  century  they  have  walked  life's  road  to- 
gether, and  they  are  as  happy  now,  as  at  the  be- 
ginning of  their  wedded  days. 

Philip  has  been  eminent  in  many  departments  of 
his  church  in  the  west  and  east. 

Bob  and  Sue  were  married  the  same  day.  All 
four  are  still  firm  friends.  Bob  is  a  distinguished 

35 


502  THE  Two  CIRCUITS. 

lawyer;  and   has   been  prominent  in  the  councils   of 
his  state,  and  in  the  nation.     And  he  and  Sue  dwell 
with  pleasure  over  the  scenes  of  their  earlier  days. 
May  prosperity  attend  them  forever. 

THE   END. 


'      'I.',..". 


UC  SOUTHERN  REGIONAL  LIBRARY  FACILITY 


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